"Jongdae," the choreographer sighs for the nth time and Jongdae can see the tiredness in his eyes, the self-hatred within him grows because he knows that he has messed up again. "You did the move incorrectly, do it again. Jongin, show him how to do it."

Jongdae can see Jongin shoot him a sympathetic look before he does as he is told. But Jongdae doesn't want his pity. He doesn't need pity. It has been three ing years since they have debuted, why can't he get this move right? This comeback won't be good if he messes up repeatedly. Call Me Baby is going to be the comeback where they show the public that they can stand strongly even if two members have left, and Jongdae will be damned if he lets himself be the one that drags everybody down.

They practice for a few more hours, and Jongdae is trying to drill in every single move so that it will be perfect when it is time for them to perform it on stage. He is trying. Trying really ing hard to keep up with everybody else because he notices everyone slowing down their pace slightly and that the choreographer's eyes are burning into his entire being.

"Alright, you guys can go. I'll see you tomorrow." The group cheers and goes to where they dumped their stuff in the far corner of the room. But Jongdae stays where he is, staring at his reflection in the mirror with hard eyes.

"Aren't you coming, Hyung?" Sehun asks and Jongdae can see everyone stop at the door, waiting for his response.

Jongdae forces a smile on his face as he turns to face them. "No, you guys go ahead. I'll catch up." He walks up to the maknae and fixes his coat, "bundle up better, we don't want you getting sick." As he says that, he pulls down Jongin's beanie further and orders Zitao to put on his gloves. "Make sure you eat dinner!" Jongdae calls from behind them and Junmyeon gives him a thumbs up as they walk away.

He closes the door and immediately the frown that was on his face returns. If he wants to get the moves right, he ought to start practicing because he knows that he has a lot to do.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

It's about four in the morning when he hears his phone ring. He pauses the music on the stereo and evens out his breathing before he answers the call.

"Hello?"

"Jongdae," it's Yixing, he can hear the worry in his voice and mentally curses for making Yixing worry about him.

"Yes, Ge?" 

"You aren't back yet." Jongdae also notes the sadness in his voice and has the urge to slap himself in the face.

"I'm actually on my way." He lies, he was planning to stay for maybe another hour or so because he still cannot get the bloody move right.

"Oh, okay good." The relief in Yixing's voice is evident and Jongdae can picture him smiling.

"Ge, you should go to sleep. You have the audition coming up, don't worry about me. I'm fine."

"Alright, but you better be heading home."

Jongdae ends the call and looks at the speakers, tempted to press the play button and dance until he can no longer walk. But his mind reminds him of how he has worried Yixing and how he hasn't eaten since ten o'clock earlier. He sighs as he walks over to the speakers to shut it off before collecting his items from where he left them hours ago.

Maybe he can sneak in here again later when the members don't notice.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

"Go rest Soo, you look exhausted." Jongdae says when he walks into the kitchen and spots Kyungsoo preparing breakfast for the group. He saw the bags under the younger's eyes and decided that he should do the cooking instead. 

"But-"

"No buts, go back to bed. I'll do everything, just go." Kyungsoo looks hesitant, Jongdae can see him try to stifle a yawn, so he gives the latter a look which makes him give up. Jongdae gives him a hug and ruffles his hair as he leaves the kitchen. Jongdae blinks away his tiredness as he begins cooking the kimchi pancakes.

He wakes them up one by one, starting from Junmyeon and ending with Jongin. They all march sleepily to the kitchen which has Jongdae smiling fondly even though he can feel his whole body urging for him to take a seat because he hasn't properly rested. In fact, he barely got any sleep at all last night - maybe half an hour? - because he was up practicing his Mandarin.

Jongdae serves them all food, leaving his plate last. And when he sees Junmyeon start standing up because he wants to make coffee, Jongdae tells him to sit and eat and that he will make the coffee. When he places the coffee by Junmyeon's plate, the older gives him a grateful smile that makes his heart skip a beat.

"Tao, here, eat more." Jongdae gives some of the food on his plate to Zitao, who looks guilty for a moment but eats the food nonetheless. Jongdae sees Sehun and Jongin looking at his food with puppy eyes and rolls his eyes fondly before lifting his plate up towards them. The duo are all smiles and praises as they shamelessly take most of the food off of his plate. But he doesn't mind. The maknae line need their strength, so he ignores the painful growl of his stomach and gives them a wide smile.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

"You have everything that you need, Ge?" Jongdae asks as he helps Yixing pack his things for when he needs to go to China to film his movie. 

"I think so." Yixing trails, tilting his head to the side cutely as his eyebrows furrow.

"Do you have your passport?"

"Yep."

"Boarding pass?"

"Uhuh."

"Phone charger?"

"Mhm."

"Earphones?"

When Jongdae says this, Yixing's eyes widen slightly and he scrambles around his side of the room in search of his earphones. He pouts adorably when he can't find them. Jongdae tells him to wait and he goes to his side of the room and pulls his earphones out from his jacket pocket. 

"You can borrow mine." Jongdae knows that he needs them to listen to Call Me Baby on his phone so that he can practice singing his lines. But he figures that Yixing needs them more than he does, so he tosses them at the older male who catches them with ease.

"Are you sure?" Yixing asks, eyes boring into Jongdae like he knows that Jongdae knows that he will get scolded for not having his earphones to practice singing Call Me Baby. Jongdae nods anyway, he thinks that maybe he can ask Baekhyun if he can listen in later but he has a feeling that the latter will find him bothersome so he probably just won't ask. "Thanks Jongdae, you're the best."

Jongdae laughs and tries not to think about how he will be scolded later.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

"Tao, stop moving so much. You know it's bad for your foot." Jongdae says sternly. He can see Zitao about to protest so he lifts his eyebrows to give him the look. "I'll get your medicine, just stay in bed."  Zitao deflates onto his bed and shoots him a grateful smile.

Jongdae walks out of the room and bumps into Baekhyun."Just who I was looking for." He says as he smiles at Jongdae. "Will you help me with My Answer please? Kyungsoo and Junmyeon are helping each other and nobody else wants to help me get the mood and tune right. Those two wanted to practice together." He finishes with a roll of his eye.

Jongdae nods at Baekhyun with a smile. "Yeah sure, let me just get Zitao's medicine."

"Thanks Jongdae, you are a lifesaver." Baekhyun says as he claps him on the back and walks away.

When Jongdae finds the cream and the painkillers that Zitao needs, he makes his way back to the latter's room but just as he passes Jongin and Sehun's room he sees Jongin in pain. Worriedly, he rushes over to him. 

"What's wrong?" He drops the medicine on the floor and is over to Jongin's side in a flash, helping him lay on his bed. 

"My waist," Jongin answers with a voice so full of pain that it hurts Jongdae's heart, "it hurts."

Jongdae covers Jongin's duvet on him and reaches for the container of painkillers that he dropped on the floor. "Wait here, I'm going to get you some water."

He rushes back to the kitchen and fills an empty cup with water. He also decides to make Jongin a quick sandwich just in case he gets peckish or something. When he jogs back to Jongin carefully, he sees that the younger is waiting patiently but the pain is evident in his eyes. 

"Here." He says as he gives Jongin the cup and takes out two pills from the container. Jongin takes them and gulps them both down with the water, cringing slightly as he swallows them. "I also made you a sandwich." Jongdae informs as he places the plate on Jongin's bedside locker.

Jongin gives him a bright smile. "Thanks Hyung." He pauses for a moment like he is debating about what he is going to say. "Have you eaten yet?" Jongin asks softly.

Jongdae thinks. He thinks that it is pathetic that one of the maknaes have to remind him that he hasn't eaten, his head suddenly starts hurting slightly from not eating and his stomach churns uncomfortably. But he smiles widely at Jongin anyway. "Of course I have." 

The younger male smiles back, "good. Wouldn't want our mom to starve or anything." He jokes and Jongdae tries to laugh but he feels uncomfortable now, and he suddenly remembers about Zitao.

"You eat your sandwich, I need to go to Zitao." Jongin nods, hair bouncing adorably as Jongdae picks up the cream and painkillers. 

As Jongdae walks back to Zitao and Minseok's room, he makes a list in his head as to what he needs to do; Take care of Zitao, help Baekhyun with My Answer, do the grocery shopping, help Yixing clean his side of the room and he needs to work on the Call Me Baby choreography. His stomach growls loudly and he looks around, thankfully none of the members are around because they would have scolded him for not eating. But he is just too busy to eat.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

"Well done, Jongdae. You've nailed the choreography." 

When Jongdae hears the choreographer say this, he feels like he is soaring. He finally has done it. From the corner of his eye, he can see the maknae line give him a thumbs up and he feels so much better about himself. But then he hears the small, barely audible "finally" that the choreographer says which make him clench his fists. He can feel his nails digging into his palms, but he is still smiling. He has never really stopped smiling. Minseok and Junmyeon are clapping him on the back and the rest of the members are all smiles, so he can't stop smiling now. Jongdae wipes the sweat from his forehead and walks to the corner of the room to take a seat on the ground.

"Good job Dae." Junmyeon smiles, walking over to him just as he is opening his water bottle. Junmyeon is panting and clearly looks exhausted so Jongdae pats the spot next to him and hands Junmyeon his bottle of water, ignoring the burning of his throat because his leader needs it more. And he doesn't want anything to happen to their leader. "Thanks." Junmyeon smiles, and Jongdae has to try his hardest to slow down the thumping of his heart because he is pretty sure that the older male is able to hear it. Jongdae also pats his lap, a sign for Junmyeon to rest his head, but the leader looks hesitant.

"You look exhausted," Jongdae reasons, "we can't have you just randomly collapsing on us." He lets out an airy chuckle at the end, just to keep the sentence lighthearted. 

Junmyeon rolls his eyes fondly at Jongdae. "Alright, but just for a few minutes."

"You can take a nap if you want. Looks like we're going to be here a while, the kids are too busy messing around." Junmyeon hums, while Jongdae replays the words he said in his mind and fights down the blush because what he said sounded so domestic.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

Staying up until the sun starts to rise is not difficult for Jongdae. It stopped being difficult three years ago when he decided that he is definitely not good enough to stand beside eleven other really talented people. Jongdae thinks that three years is a long time. And when he really thinks about it, no matter how many times the others say he has improved a lot, he knows that he hasn't and that he is still lacking in so many areas.

It's at this time that Jongdae has plenty of time to think. Usually his thoughts leave a bitter taste in his mouth and a searing pain in his heart. He thinks about how he knows that he was put into EXO-M and not EXO-K because he is not good enough to promote in his own country, so the company dumped him off to a foreign country with a whole other language to learn. He is just lucky that he had Minseok. If he didn't, Jongdae doesn't know how he would have survived to be honest.

Footsteps snap him out of his thoughts. The living room door opens to reveal a sleepy looking Chanyeol. The tall male trudges towards him and then plops down on the couch beside him.

"Why are you still awake?" Jongdae asks because even though he and Chanyeol are good friends, the silence is suffocating Jongdae because his previous thoughts are beginning to surface from where he has shoved them down in the back of his mind.

"I was-" Chanyeol's eyes seem much more awake, and his voice sounds so hesitant, "-thinking about Kris and Luhan Hyung." He admits, like it's some sort of dirty secret.

Jongdae looks at Chanyeol with soft eyes because when he really looks at him, his eye bags have grown much worse and his eyes are so much more tired compared to what they were like when they first debuted. Jongdae places his arm around Chanyeol's shoulders and pulls the latter towards him to give him a hug.

When he feels a slight dampness on his t-shirt, Jongdae's heart clenches so painfully that he finds it difficult to breathe. "I miss them." He hears, even though Chanyeol's voice is muffled because his face is buried in the crook of Jongdae's neck. It's a bit awkward, their position, considering the fact that Chanyeol is all limbs while Jongdae isn't. But Jongdae doesn't dwell on it too much because Chanyeol needs him right now.

"We all do, Yeol, it would be weird of we didn't." Jongdae whispers, knowing that the younger will hear him because it is so silent bar the light sobbing that he is doing.

"It hurts." Chanyeol replies through a sniffle.

And he isn't wrong. Jongdae is so accustomed to saying that there are twelve of them, not ten. That's not all, when Kris had first left, Jongdae was devastated because he felt like the two of them had gotten closer. He sobbed every night without the members knowing because every single one of them were sobbing, and he knew that someone had to be strong for the team until it was all sorted. When Luhan left, everything seemed to get worse. Jongdae felt like EXO-M was just going to continue dissolving until the company decides to finally end their sub unit. The thought still stabs at Jongdae's heart when three a.m thoughts creep into his mind. He sobbed then too, they all did, it just wasn't as bad as the first time because they knew how to pick up the pieces this time. But that didn't mean that the pain that they felt in their hearts was less intense than the last time.

Jongdae just runs his fingers through Chanyeol's hair, rocking them back and forth gently, not bothering to reply because yes, of course it hurts. After a silent five minutes, Jongdae stops rocking them. "Do you feel better now?"

"Kinda."

"Cool, how about I make you hot chocolate." Jongdae smiles, it's not even a question because when he sees Chanyeol pull back with moist, wide eyes he knows what the answer will is already.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

Jongdae's comforting session with Chanyeol has got him thinking more about Kris and Luhan. And just out of curiosity, he googled what they have been up to because hasn't really had time to follow up on them with all the concerts and preparations that they have been doing.

It turns out that they both have a career in acting and Jongdae doesn't stop the smile that makes its way on his face because he is happy for them. Really and truly happy for them. When Jongdae clicks on the 'images' button, so many pictures appear of them. And honestly, Jongdae is glad to see that Kris has gained some weight and that Luhan looks so much more carefree. But he is mostly glad that they look happy, and that is all that matters. However even though these are his thoughts, there is still that inevitable clenching that he feels in his heart that spreads throughout his entire being. Jongdae feels a tear from each eye drop on his cheeks and wipes them away, even though he knows that they are not tears of sadness.

Pressing the home button, Jongdae decides that he is going to watch Kris and Luhan's films.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

Jongdae dries his hair with a towel. His body is aching after playing soccer with Minseok because nobody else wanted to play with him. He also helped Jongin walk his dogs and bought bubble tea with Sehun, as well as helping Zitao treat his injured foot.

When he walks into the living room, the members are all laying about in different positions. He smiles at them before taking a seat beside Baekhyun, who immediately cuddles with him.

"Have you guys not eaten?" Jongdae asks because it's around dinner time and he sees no traces of them eating.

"No. Kyungsoo Hyung is at his vocal thing, and none of us wanna cook. Also our manager said we can't order any food." Jongin pouts, and Jongdae thinks that it's because he can't order any fried chicken which makes his grin larger.

"Alright then." He replies, he nudges Baekhyun off of him and walks to the kitchen to begin preparing dinner.

As Jongdae was cutting the vegetables, he cut his finger too. He is still telling himself that he just lost his concentration for a moment because he is not tired. He is not even close to tired. He can't be tired because then the members will starve and he doesn't want Kyungsoo to come home to corpses laying around the living room.

Jongdae slaps his cheeks to wake himself up. He refuses to let the other members help him because he is able to do this for them. And he is able to do this for them on his own. 

He decided a long time ago, that the only way to make up for the areas that he lacks in is to make himself as useful to the other members as he can. And because he is naturally a caring person, it isn't hard for him to do. They also make it easy for him since he is the 'go-to' person for them.

He cooks a simple noodle dish, chap chae, with extra beef because he knows how much these boys love their meat.  "Dinner's ready!" He yells after setting up the table and placing the noodles in their bowls. The members crowd in, it makes Jongdae smile at how eager they seem to eat. He made sure to to give the maknae line a bit more than the others, add extra soy sauce to Minseok's because that's how he likes it and less soy sauce on Baekhyun's. 

"Is that all you're eating, Dae?" 

Jongdae looks up from his bowl and sees Junmyeon eyeing him as he places his chopsticks on the table. "Yeah," he replies, "I'm not that hungry anyways because I ate earlier already."

Junmyeon nods with a smile and turns to Minseok to have a conversation with him. Jongdae thinks that telling Junmyeon a little, in fact miniscule, lie won't hurt him. So, he didn't eat earlier. But who else was suppose to help Zitao?

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

Jongdae is staring at his contacts with his right thumb hovering over Luhan's name. He isn't sure if the older male has kept his old number or not, but he figures that it is worth a shot. He needs to send Kris a message too.

To : LuHan 

Hey Ge~ I just watched your film, and I wanted to tell you that you were really good. I hope that you are eating well, and make sure that you take care of yourself okay? I really miss you π_π

Jongdae presses the send button, before typing up a similar text message for Kris. He also sends one to Yixing, asking him how filming is going and stuff like that.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

They're backstage, and Jongdae's heart is beating so fast. It's their comeback stage, and he is going to make sure that he gives it his best. He walks to where Zitao is sitting and eyes him worriedly.

"Are you sure that you can't beg not to perform?" Jongdae asks, taking a seat beside the younger and wrapping his short arm around his shoulder.

"You know I can't Ge," Zitao sighs with tired eyes, "but after this stage, I won't have to perform anymore, remember?"

Jongdae nods. "I'll be looking out for you, okay?"

Zitao gives him a soft smile and nods his head. "Okay."

The two of them are suddenly being called, so Jongdae helps Zitao stand up and walks them to where the others are. As Jongin runs on stage, Jongdae prays.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

They're all sweaty and exhausted by the time they reach the dorm. All nine of them trudge to their respective rooms and plop on their beds. Jongdae feels loneliness creep in when he hears the others talk to their roommates through the thin walls because (his new roommate since the two members departed) Yixing has gone back to China for filming.

"I'm so hungry!" He hears Baekhyun whine from the left wall and he figures that it is time to stand up, change into his pajamas and make sure that the members get fed.

Jongdae forces himself to stand up from his comfortable bed to change into a simple t-shirt and just his boxers. Then he walks to the kitchen, ignoring the pain that is clenching in his calves.

"Hyung," Sehun greets with a tired smile. "Are you gonna cook?" Jongdae musters a smile for the maknae and nods his head even though he feels like he is going to collapse as he walks towards the fridge to take out some ingredients. It's all worth it, because Sehun is suddenly all wide-eyed and smiley as he watches him cook.

Jongdae hears someone walk into the kitchen as he stirs the stew in the pot. Sehun left for a few minutes because Minseok complained about some objects that he left laying around. Suddenly, there is a chin placed on his shoulder.

"What are you cooking?" It's Junmyeon. Jongdae can smell the fancy shampoo that he uses and his heart begins to pound harder when the older male wraps his arms around his waist. This should be okay, normal even. Jongdae should be accustomed to this, because Junmyeon does this to everyone all the time. So it shouldn't even be a thing. But why is it a thing?

"Uhm-" Jongdae clears his throat, "spicy soft tofu stew with kimchi and some meat." He answers steadily (praise the Lord!). Junmyeon just hums as he trails his nose around Jongdae's neck, particularly by his nape, and Jongdae is pretty sure that he has forgotten how to breathe. His fatigue is suddenly thrown out the window, and he is very aware and somewhat anticipating what Junmyeon is going to do next.

But then the warmth is gone and Jongdae doesn't even have time to turn to see what has happened to Junmyeon because a lanky arm is suddenly wrapped around his shoulder.

"Jongdae! My man!" Chanyeol's deep voice greets happily, and Jongdae's mind wonders how he has so much energy. Maybe he can donate some of that energy to him because he can feel his eyes grow heavy all of a sudden. "Woah! Stew! Really?! Jongdae, I love you so much right now!"

Jongdae manages a smile and rolls his eyes, pushing the fatigue away. "Of course you do, Yeol." It takes so much of Jongdae's energy to shove Chanyeol's towering figure away from him playfully, but he does it anyway because that's what he does.

He turns off the stove and spins around to set the table. The others try to help him but he gently pushes their hands away. "Go wash your hands, I got this." They comply easily, all smiling as they talk about how they are ready to devour the food. Jongdae fills up their bowls and waits for them to return. 

(Jongdae refuses to acknowledge the fact that he nearly fell asleep while waiting for them. And the fact that even though they were all eating while chattering loudly like they usually do, he was forcing himself to keep his eyes open and participate in the conversation.)

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

It's about a week later when Jongdae notices the really obvious purple hues under his eyes. It is two in the morning, and Jongdae is preparing the food that he knows that they will have to wolf down because of their schedules. He notices them when he sees his reflection in the window, and pokes at them with his index fingers as if it will make them vanish. He sure is glad that they have concealer laying around the dorm somewhere.

His phone buzzes from the table and he slowly walks over to check it out. A smile makes its way to his face when he sees Luhan and Kris' names on the screen.

From : LuHan

You watched my film? *^O^* And yes, I am taking care of myself properly. What about you? I heard about Call Me Baby, I promise to listen to it as quick as I can ∩__∩ I miss you too~ Tell the others that I said hi ≧﹏≦

From : Kris

Yeah, I'm doing pretty good. I listened to Call Me Baby just now, and you are still just as great as you were before. Thanks for worrying about me Jongdae.

Jongdae thinks that this is definitely one of the best things that has happened to him this week. It totally surpasses the happiness that he got for winning first place for sure.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

The news hits him like his whole universe has collapsed around him.

"Wh-what?" Jongdae blinks, he can feel the tears that gloss his eyes and blur his vision.

"I'm so sorry guys," Zitao whispers, voice trembling. "But I have to, my dad and I talked about it and we both came to this decision." And after he says that, Zitao starts to bawl his eyes out and apologize repeatedly. 

It's like a domino effect because they all start crying. But not Jongdae. Never Jongdae. He blinks back his tears, saving them for later when none of the other members are awake, and walks up to Zitao and hugs him.

"It's okay," he coos softly, "we understand." And they do understand, the company hasn't given enough time for him to heal, which has resulted into this. Jongdae knows that they are all supportive and proud of Zitao's decision, but this is like another painful stab in their hearts.

One by one, they join the hug. They imbed this moment in their minds before they separate to make Zitao swear to keep in touch with them and decide to sleep in Zitao and Minseok's room for the night.

(Jongdae sneaks out of the room when he is absolutely positive that the others are sound asleep. He quietly makes his way to the bathroom, locks the door and slowly makes his way to sit in the bathtub. That is where he cries the pain away, sobs coming out brokenly as he clenches his fingers around strands of his hair, hoping that it will outdo the immense pain in his heart. But it's futile, because the pain is so superior.)

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

They don't go with Zitao to the airport. Or more like they can't. They can't because the company said so. And Jongdae is so, so mad about that. He wants to fight them all, beat them to a pulp for causing all this pain. But he can't because beating them up wouldn't change anything, and it would immediately get him kicked out of the group too. So he just has to clench his fists, grit his teeth and move on because that's life. God, he really hates that sentence. Whichever adult came up with it seriously makes Jongdae want to go back in time and ensure that it would never exist.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

Jongdae doesn't particularly remember how he collapsed. All he can recall is they were in the dance studio, messing around and talking about their upcoming repackaged album. But he does remember seeing Junmyeon's worried expression before everything became dark.

"You're awake!" Chanyeol yells. "God, you scared us Jongdae!" 

Jongdae gulps his saliva thickly. "I'm sorry." He looks around the hospital room before back at Chanyeol, who looks like he is stopping himself from running over to where he is laying on the bed to hug him. "Where is everyone?"

"Out in the waiting room. Sehun an dJongin are bawling their eyes out because they are convinced that it's their fault that you're like this." Chanyeol explains.

"Oh." Jongdae blinks for a moment. He then opens his arms slowly, allowing Chanyeol to give him a hug. Which he does within a nanosecond, squishing Jongdae so tight that he can't breathe.

The doctor walks in, a middle aged woman with a kind smile. "Mr.Kim," she greets softly. "You need to take care of yourself. You collapsed from severe fatigue," Jongdae isn't at all surprised to be honest. "When was the last time you had at least five hours of sleep?" Jongdae opens his mouth to answer but closes it again.

"I'm not sure, it's been a long time." He admits.

"Mhm. And when was the last time you had a full, proper meal? Because it reads here that you have not been eating well."

From the corner of his eye, he can see that Chanyeol's eyes have gone wide. Like he can't believe what he is hearing. "Well I ate a small bit of lunch and dinner yesterday."

"No breakfast?"

"No, Sehun and Jongin needed to more than me so I-"

The doctor lifts an eyebrow at him, which makes him stop mid-sentence. "Mr.Kim, I understand that you care about your friends, but remember. You are important too."

Jongdae opens his mouth to deny what she has said, because he is not important. And it's true. He is not worthy of standing beside the other members. He knows that the company can replace him. He is not important. But he doesn't get to tell her this, because Chanyeol's large hand is suddenly covering his and he looks to the male to find that he has moist eyes and is shaking his head. So he shuts his mouth.

"You will be discharged in three days. A few nurses will come to check on your condition ever so often and will bring you your meals for the day." She smiles, "I'll let your friends know that they can come in." And with that, she leaves the room.

"Hey Yeol," Jongdae calls to break the silence. "Why were you the only one here when I woke up?"

"I used my 'best friend' card of course. Baek was being a total about it though, but I made him stay in his lane." Jongdae chuckles for a bit. "You know," Chanyeol starts and suddenly the atmosphere feels a bit heavier, "you really mean a lot to us Jongdae." He stays silent. "You are like our anchor, and we may not show it all the time but we do appreciate everything that you do for us. We were so stupid for not noticing how exhausted you must have been, you're such a good actor Jongdae."

Jongdae blinks at Chanyeol, forcing the tears back. He wipes away the tears that have fallen on Chanyeol's cheeks and smiles at him softly.

The door bursts open, revealing the other six members who all have tear stained cheeks and red eyes. Jongdae takes a good look at them. Jongin keeps on sniffling and wiping his nose with a piece of tissue, Sehun is pretty much in the same state as Jongin except he isn't wailing unattractively. Baekhyun and Minseok are holding each other while sobbing, Kyungsoo and Junmyeon are calm but Jongdae can see that their eyes are red and puffy. 

Jongdae smiles gently at them, and that's when they rush up to crowd around his bed. They all talk at once, trying to be louder than the person next to them. Jongdae can only chuckle and smile fondly at them.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

[ Day 1 ]

[ Morning : Kyungsoo ]

When Jongdae wakes up, the smell of food from his province hits him which can only mean one thing; Kyungsoo is here. As he sits up, he feels a hand on his back to help him. He rubs the eye crust away from the inner corners of his eyes and smiles sleepily at Kyungsoo.

"Hey."

Kyungsoo smiles softly at him as he walks over to him with a steaming lunchbox. "Hi." He places the lunxhbox on the mini table with wheels and positions it beside Jongdae. When Jongdae peeks at the lunchbox he is greeted by the sight of bajirak-kalguksu, a dish of their province.

"Thanks Soo, it looks delicious." Kyungsoo hums as he grabs the chopsticks that Jongdae was about to pick up. Jongdae watches as Kyungsoo lifts some noodles, cools it down by blowing on it and then placing it in front of Jongdae's mouth. "I can fee-" Jongdae doesn't get a chance to finish his sentence because Kyungsoo stuffs the noodles in his mouth. As Jongdae chews the noodles in his mouth, he glances at Kyungsoo from the corner of his eye. The younger male is staring at the noodles as if it has personally offended him.

Kyungsoo feeds him until there is no more food left. They didn't talk, and the silence absolutely suffocated Jongdae.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Kyungsoo says as he takes Jongdae's hand in his own.

"About what?"

Jongdae sees Kyungsoo roll his eyes. "Don't play dumb with me." Kyungsoo looks him straight in the eye, and Jongdae feels like he will combust sometime soon from the look that the latter is giving him.

"I didn't want to worry you guys." Jongdae answers honestly. "And besides, I didn't want to annoy you guys with my small problems."

"You could have died!"

This time Jongdae rolls his eyes. "Stop being so dramatic."

"You really could have! Who would stop Baekhyun from pissing me off if you were gone?"

Jongdae laughs wholeheartedly, "I'm sure you would survive."

Kyungsoo just rolls his eyes with a fond smile on his face.

[ Evening : Minseok ]

Jongdae pouts as Kyungsoo makes his way towards the door. He waves the latter goodbye before crossing his arms and closing his eyes.

"Guess who's sleeping here tonight!" A voice sings from the door merrily. Jongdae cracks an eye open to make sure that he has not hallucinated and that Minseok is actually here.

"You?" Jongdae guess as he watches Minseok fluff up the cushion on the chair.

"Nope!" Minseok chirps back while plopping on the chair.

Jongdae gives him a weird look. "But-"

"It's gonna be a surprise!" He replies as he grabs the remote from the little table beside Jongdae's bed and turns on the television.

They don't really talk because Minseok is watching a soccer match, but he is holding Jongdae's hand tightly as a way to comfort him somehow.

[ Night : Baekhyun & Chanyeol ]

Minseok hugs him tightly before he goes. "Don't do anything like this to us again." He whispers into Jongdae's ear, his voice wavers slightly and Jongdae knows that he will start crying.

"Okay."

Minseok pulls back with a caring smile on his face before he walks out the door. Jongdae plays with his fingers until he hears his phone ring out his notification ringtone. He grabs his phone from the small table near him and smiles widely when he sees that he has three messages.

From : Kris

I heard that you're in hospital. Take care of yourself properly Jongdae.

From : LuHan

KIM JONGDAE!!!! WHY ARE YOU NOT TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF HUH?! ￣︿￣  I WILL PERSONALLY DRAG YOU BACK HERE TO CHINA IF YOU DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN!!!! NOTHING LIKE THIS BETTER HAPPEN TO YOU AGAIN OKAY?!

From : ZiTao

Ge, Sehun told me what happened to you ~T_T~ Please take care of yourself, you are important to us and the group too π_π Make sure that this won't happen again, okay Ge? You are too precious to lose π_π π_π π_π π_π

Jongdae wants to cry. He absolutely cannot believe that Kris, LuHan, and Zitao took some time to text him even though they must be busy with their busy lives. Jongdae texts them back, trying to keep the happy tears from falling down his face.

When he finishes replying to their text, the door busts open to reveal Baekhyun and Chanyeol carrying backpacks while holding large, obnoxious looking pillows in their hands.

"JONGDAE!" Baekhyun screams while Chanyeol flinches from beside the older. "Who on earth do you think you are? Doing this to yourself? Hm? Do you know how lost we would be without you?"

Jongdae lets Baekhyun babble on and watches Chanyeol nod along to whatever he says because he looks all too amusing. Baekhyun seems to have stopped talking because the buzzing sound is suddenly gone, and in an instant they are both by his side. 

"We bought snacks!" Chanyeol informs him with a huge grin on his face as he opens his backpack and starts dumping a load of candy on Jongdae's legs. "We are going to stay up all night and watch your favorite films!" He smiles as he nods pointedly at Baekhyun who is taking out a stack of DVD's from his backpack and their black portable DVD player.

When the duo place their huge pillows on either side of Jongdae and then climb in to cuddle with him, opening several bags of the candy that they brought along with them and turning on the portable DVD player, Jongdae knows that he won't get any sleep tonight. But he doesn't mind. Especially when most of the DVD's that Baekhyun bought are the Disney films that he really loves.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

[ Day 2 ]

[ Morning : Jongin & Sehun ]

Jongdae is woken up by his ringtone. He struggles to free his right arm to reach for his phone because Baekhyun and Chanyeol's limbs are literally all over him. But he manages anyway, he grabs his phone and quickly answers the call. 

"Hello?" His voice is still clouded with sleep.

"Oh my gosh, did I wake you? I am so sorry Jongdae, I just wanted to check up on you. I-" Yixing continues to apologize to him for waking him up, but he smiles softly as he cards his fingers through Baekhyun's hair.

"It's okay, Ge. I was bound to wake up some time soon anyway." Jongdae assures. 

Neither of them talk and being honest, Jongdae would have thought that the latter ended the call if not for his breathing which calms Jongdae in a really good way. 

"Jongdae.." Yixing's voice trails brokenly, and Jongdae knows that the older male is about to burst into tears. "Please take care of yourself. I-I know we ask you to do things for us, and that y-you like doing more than what we ask. B-but your health is more important to us then our little needs, do you understand?"

"Yes Ge, I understand. I'm sorry for worrying you all." Jongdae whispers in reply, feeling the tears well in his eyes.

Yixing snorts and Jongdae hears him sniffle. "Don't be sorry kid, we should be the sorry ones. How could we not have notice something as serious as this? What kind of friends are we?"

Jongdae doesn't answer. What would he even reply with? The silence returns again, and Jongdae is able to hear some shuffling from Yixing's side of the line.

"When I come back, you better prepare for at least a month of pampering, alright? You can think of me as your manservant of something." Yixing tells him and even though he sounds really light hearted, Jongdae can sense the seriousness and the hidden promise behind his words. "I gotta go," his voice sounds sad, like he doesn't want to end the call just yet. "I promise to call you after our filming session. Take care of yourself, you hear?"

"I promise."

"Good."

And with that, Yixing ends the call and Jongdae is left with a small smile on his face as he places his phone back on the desk. He threads his fingers through both Baekhyun and Chanyeol's hair, closing his eyes and slowly falls asleep.

When he wakes up for the second time, there are two faces so close to his, inspecting him.

"You're awake!" Jongin exclaims, bright smile and drink in hand. "The doctor said that you might want a drink, so I bought you one." 

"Yeah, but I chose it." Sehun adds, giving Jongin a look.

"Well I bought it with my money!" Jongin replies, sticking his tongue out at the maknae before opening the drink and ing it towards Jongdae with a cute little smile on his face. "Here Hyung, have a sip!" 

Jongdae gives him a smile and takes the drink from his hands, raising the bottle to his lips and lets the sweet liquid go down his throat. "Thanks Jongin." He says as he gives it back to the said male, who is smiling so proudly.

"Baekhyun and Chanyeol said that they got to lay down beside you." Sehun mutters from beside him, an obvious frown on his face as he looks Jongdae in the eye.

"Yeah, Hyung. That's not fair! They could have gotten their own mattress! Manager Hyung said that that was allowed!"

Jongdae grins at their childishness, rolling his eyes playfully as he pats the spaces on either side of him. Jongin squeals and giggles cutely while Sehun just smiles widely. They grab Jongdae's hands into their own as they immediately begin to apologize repeatedly, Jongin's eyes already starting to fill up with tears. Jongdae doesn't get them to stop apologizing for at least half an hour, and it takes him another half an hour to convince them that it wasn't their fault. The maknae line end up cuddled against Jongdae, watching some film on the portable DVD player which Baekhyun left when the nurse comes in with a tray of food.

The nurse places it on the mini table with wheels, positions it by Jongdae and walks away with a smile on his face after Jongdae thanks him. Jongdae opens the chocolate pudding and grabs the plastic spoon. He scoops some up and places the spoon in front of Jongin's mouth, whose puppy dog eyes brighten and is about to open his mouth when he deflates all of a sudden with sad eyes. 

"No thanks, Hyung. You eat it. It's your food."

Jongdae rolls his eyes and keeps the spoon in front of Jongin's lips. "Just eat it Jonginnie, c'mon I know that this is your favorite."

"Bu-" Jongdae stuffs the pudding in his mouth with a victorious smile on his face as Jongin eats the chocolate pudding with a shy smile. Jongdae also feeds some of the chocolate pudding to Sehun, who obliges with an easy going smile on his face. Jongdae shares the rest of his food with him, they refuse at first but Jongdae makes them give in at some point.

[ Evening & Night : Junmyeon ]

Jongdae feels incredibly loved when the maknaes grip onto his arms tightly, refusing to leave him. The puppy dog looks that they give the manager does nothing for them as he drags the two out of them room with the roll of his eyes. Jongdae hears them wail and whine for a good fifteen minutes before their voices start to fade away and Jongdae feels all too lonely again.

Within five minutes, the door opens again to reveal Junmyeon. They stare in silence for a good ten minutes, Jongdae's heart thumping quickly as his palms start becoming so sweaty the he has to rub them on the hopsital blankets. Jongddae blinks as he sees Junmyeon gulp visibly as he walks towards his bed, closing the door behind him.

"I brought you some stuff." Junmyeon tells him as he takes drags the chair and positions it as close as he can to the hospital bed. "Like clothes, the manager said you haven't showered since you got here," Junmyeon wrinkles his nose (cutely) in disgust. "I also bought you your favorite food and those earrings you said you wanted like, six months ago. Baekhyun suggested that I bring more Disney films because they're your favorite, Sehun also told me to buy you bubble tea because they make everyone happy." Junmyeon rambles. "And then after so many other things that the other told me to bring you, Kyungsoo said that I should just buy a ring and propse to you." Junmyeon's eyes widen when he hears those words come out of his mouth. 

Jongdae grins at him. "So did you?"

Junmyeon's eyebrows raise as he looks at Jongdae. "D-Did I wh-what?"

"Buy me the ring." Jondae replies as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, amusement swimming in his eyes. He laughs internally when he sees that Junmyeon becomes flustered and tries to come up with an answer.

"Um, no?" He replies, voice an octave higher accompanied by cheeks that are only slightly pink. Jongdae shoots him an unamused look. "B-but I can right now if you want me to?" Jongdae doesn't stop the laugh that escapes his mouth. In fact, he laughs even harder when he sees that Junmyeon's face looks absolutely confused.

"I was kidding," Jongdae tells the older, rolling his eyes with a fond smile on his face. "You being here is enough for me." He continues with a cheesy smile and this time Junmyeon is the one who rolls his eyes, but Jongdae notices that the tips of his ears are pink.

Silence returns and Jongdae just rubs the back of his neck before playing with his thumbs. He watches as Junmyeon takes out the forementioned bubble tea and pokes the orange straw through the top, handingit to him when he is done. Jongdae stares at it dumbly for, like, five minutes before taking it from the older male. He smiles thankfully as he chews on some tapioca pearls.

Jongdae assumes that Junmyeon has had enough of the silent atmosphere because he is taking out a DVD, Beauty and the Beast, which almost has Jongdae squeal and cheer in happiness. Almost.

It is at three in the morning when Junmyeon thinks that they have seen enough Disney films, to which Jongdae argued but gave up because Junmyeon was giving him a look with his right eyebrow arched.

So now Jongdae is just laying in the confining bed, while Junmyeon got an extra bed and placed it by Jongdae. The silence is not suffocating, but Jongdae doesn't feel too comfortable either and he wants to speak but he doesn't know whether or not Junmyeon is awake. The situation really because Jongdae knows that he won't fall asleep until later.

"Jongdae?" Junmyeon suddenly whispers. He hums to let the older know that he is awake. "I know that sometimes, actually nearly all the time, we ask you to do things for us and we depend on you a lot. But it's okay to say no every once in a while." Jongdae's mouth opens and closes as he tries to come up with a reply. "I know that you don't think very highly of yourself either," Jongdae gulps nervously. "And that makes me so frustrated because you are like the most amazing person our group. I really cannot understand why you think that you are undeserving of being with us Jongdae, I really don't."

"Becaus-"

Junmyeon gives him a look. "Jongdae, lets be honest with ourselves here; You are so much more talented than some of us in the group. I mean you only trained for what, eleven months? Whereas I had to train for seven years. If that doesn't tell you anything, then I don't know what else to tell you."

Jongdae blinks at him, willing the tears not to fall. "Bu-"

"No 'buts' Jongdae. It's okay to not be as perfect and selfless like everyone wants you to be, because in my opinion you are perfect already. If anyone tells you that you are less than that, come and tell me because I won't have a problem telling them off for not recognizing how wonderful you are."

That is when Jongdae cracks. He lets out broken sobs that echo throughout the room and wipes his nose with the back of his arm as he bawls unattractively. Junmyeon doesn't seem to give a that Jongdae has basically wiped his snot with the back of his arm, or how his tears are all over the place because he hugs Jongdae so tight that he bawls even louder.

It is around five in the morning when Jongdae has managed to stop sobbing. Junmyeon is running his fingers comfortingly through his hair, fingernails scraping along his scalp in a comfortable way. Jongdae is really tempted to fall asleep, but the bids chirping outside stop him from doing so.

"I mean it you know." Junmyeon suddenly says and Jongdae blinks confusedly.

"What?"

"That I think that you're perfect. And also, you mean a lot to me- I mean us! You mean a lot to us!" Junmyeon tries to recover from his mistake by adding an awkward chuckle at the end while rubbing the back of his neck.

Jongdae fails at not giggling which makes a pretty pink color dust Junmyeon's cheeks. "Thank you." He says sincerely after he has stopped giggling. 

"Just telling you the truth." Junmyeon replies, and Jongdae thinks that he was attempting to sound nonchalant but his words came out quietly and Jongdae is trying not to start giggling again.

In the spur of the moment, Jongdae decides to kiss Junmyeon's cheeks which become a lovely shade of scarlet. Junmyeon gives him a bright smile and interlocks their fingers together.

That is when Jongdae is pretty sure that everything will be okay.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

"So," Chanyeol begins as he plops on top of Yixing's bed. "You and Junmyeon Hyung?" His voice sounds suggestive, and if Jongdae was to stop reading he is positive that he would find the tall male wagging his eyebrows with a mischievious look in his eye.

"Yes, and?" Jongdae asks, left eyebrow arched.

Chanyeol seems to have teleported next to him because before he can even blink, the latter's face is only inches away from his own. "Aaand?"

Jongdae blinks and gives him a weird look. "And what?"

Chanyeol's eyes widen as he rolls them melodramatically with a loud sigh. "Did you guys do the nasty yet?"

When Jongdae hears those words, he snaps his book closed and uses it to shove Chanyeol away from him. Resulting the the latter falling off of his bed. Before Chanyeol has time to say anything, Jongdae runs away to the kitchen where Kyungsoo is cooking with the help of Junmyeon.

"I'll help you guys." Jongdae says as he walks up to where Junmyeon is standing by the stove, stirring something in a pot.

Kyungsoo gives him a look, lifting the stainless steel knife to point it at his direction. "No. We told you to relax."

"But Chanyeol-"

"Ugh, what did that kid do this time?" Kyungsoo asks while rolling his eyes fondly.

"He was-"

"Jongdae!" Baekhyun suddenly sings as he steps into the kitchen. Kyungsoo groans and begins chopping the vegetables quicker. "I got you something, my precious baby kitten!"

Junmyeon clears his throat, pinning around to give Baekhyun a look as he crosses his arm. Baekhyun snickers and tosses something in Jongdae's direction before skipping away. Jongdae nearly falls while trying to catch the small box, but succeeds. He tilts his head at its glittery pink wrapping paper. When he rips it open, he immediately drops it as he begins to blush profusely.

The rest of the members decide to walk in at that exact moment, and Baekhyun's laughter is immediately heard. 

"I got you this too!" Chanyeol tells them as he throws an oddly shaped bottle towards Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon smirks at the pair, picking up the box. "Thanks." The members wolf whistle and Jongdae kinda just wants to disappear.

"Alright. Alright. That's enough." Kyungsoo says, "Sehun, Jongin, prepare the table." He orders them sternly.

The maknaes do as they are told and they eat within five minutes. They all tease Junmyeon and Jongdae and everything is good. And when they finish eating, they just dump the dishes in the sink because it is movie time. They call Yixing on Skype, who is all smiles and asking Jongdae questions and answering their questions.

Halfway through, Pirates of the Carribean, Jongdae feels someone staring at him. He looks above him and sees Junmyeon looking at him with a soft smile and gentle eyes.

"What?" He mouths, but Junmyeon doesn't answer. The older male just shakes his head, soft smile still in place. But Jongdae still stares at him though, narrowing his eyes at him suspiciously. Junmyeon seems to laugh internally because he grins at Jongdae, the grin that makes Jongdae's heart beat faster and his knees weak.

Junmyeon kisses Jongdae on the lips quickly before pulling away, leaving Jongdae's face feel all warm. He cuddles more into Junmyeon's embrace and smiles to himself. From the corner of his eye, he can see Minseok smirk and Baekhyun and Chanyeol snickering to themselves. 

He doesn't do anythimg about it though, because Junmyeon's arm tightens around him and warmth spreads within him like fire. And yeah, he really likes the way things turned out in the end.

fin.

aaaaay so i finally finished this! i know that this is just 9k+ words of crap and completely understand if u don't like it ∩__∩ but yh thanks for reading it anyway~ ≧﹏≦ ♥♡♥

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