It was an early morning, a little before 5:30 am to be specific. It was only the start of my second day in China, a small 3 day detour before I headed to Korea. I still wasn't use to the time difference but I didn't care. I was excited to be in Asia, to finally visit the place I have always wanted to---Korea. It was my first time traveling by myself but it wasn't as terrifying as I had initially assumed. I wasn't fluent in Mandarin in any way besides the basics. And although I wasn't extremely fluent in Korean, I took classes to know enough to hold a decent conversation.  

It was quiet, something I wasn't expecting here in Qingdao. There were a couple of people out and about but for the most part, it seemed that people weren't out yet or maybe it was just the area I was staying in. I wasn't sure. I continued walking down the unpopulated street until I saw what looked like to be a quaint cafe. It wouldn't be open for another hour according to their door front but at least they had tables and chairs outside. 

Might as well, I thought and took a seat. I sat back and closed my eyes and let the music from my headphones engulf my hearing. My mind remained blank letting the tranquility of the Promise wash over me. The voices, the melodies, and the meaning I knew so well was the only thing I cared about at this moment. I opened my eyes to see a new black car about 50 feet in front of me. Two people got out of the car.  

I blinked again, uncertain if my eyes were playing a trick on me. If it was really him or my eyes were playing a sick joke on me. I focused on him again as I saw him and another guy walking towards where I was sitting. He was walking a little slower and seemed to have a slight limp making my heart race at the coincidence. This couldn't be possible. It's been awhile since I saw news of him, since he last posted on Instagram but my gut kept telling me it was him. They both stopped for a moment and faced each other in conversation as I continued to examined him trying not to get caught.  

 I stared a little longer, assuming that he would face me and I would just laugh at my little delusion. I stood there and he turned to face me once his friend went into the cafe. He was tall, taller than I had imagined. He was lean with long legs and his signature sunglasses covering his eyes. 

I found myself walking towards him. My body completely overriding my brain. He just looked at me as I came closer to him but then returned his gaze back to the cafe door.

I stood in front of him, trying not to invade his personal space but close enough to confirm that it couldn't possible be him.

"T-Tao?", I whispered and he turned to look at me in response this time without his sunglasses. The feelings and thoughts I had moved past from, came all rushing back as he looked at me with his head cocked. His skin was clear and beautiful, his hair was back to black and not styled, and his face seemed to be fuller ... healthier and happy. 

For the first time, I lost all common sense. I threw myself onto him, enveloping him into a hug that I had only dreamed of in my head. He stood frozen for just a second before relaxing into my embrace. I felt his arms wrap around my shoulder for I only reached his chest. I had no control over my emotions and my actions in that second and the dam broke. The tearing turned into crying as I just stood there hugging him letting out emotions that I've bottled up for too long. 

"It's okay. I'm okay", he whispered in Korean like he knew exactly what I was doing and why. He pet my head, trying to console me and the warmth of his body covered me. This wasn't what I was expecting. I wanted to console him, to make him feel better, to support him. As a fan, I wanted to be his rock and not the other way around. Especially this time, I wanted to continue being the strong person I knew I was and to show him that. To show him that his fans are strong and will be strong for him. To tell him that I and so many others will always support him and be there for him. I wanted to give him strength but here I was sobbing like a child even though I was a full grown woman and older than him. 

Instead of pushing me away, he just let me continue hugging him. I was no longer cryi