His eyes flickered to the desk calendar in front of him and the dates that he had marked in red. Joonmyun the calendar mindlessly, he should be more anxious now, preparing for the stream of concerts ahead of them, but instead his mind was restless, the numerous promises they had made together as a group echoing in his ears. As the leader, he was responsible for holding the group together, but where exactly had he gone wrong? These promises that they had made together, all the way during their trainee days, were they already forgotten? It wasn’t that he didn’t know that problems existed; he had just foolishly chosen to ignore them until…until it was too late. At this thought, tears welled up in his eyes and Joonmyun quickly dabbed them away. He couldn’t let the members catch him crying, what would they do then?

Zi Tao collapsed on the wooden floor of the dance practice studio, sweating profusely and panting heavily. Although it was already past midnight, he was still practicing for their concert. The loud music continued to be blasted from the speakers, and Tao made no move to switch it off. It was as if the deafening music was silencing the noisy turmoil Tao felt in his heart, or at least that’s what he hoped to happen. No matter how much he danced and rapped, those thoughts wouldn’t escape him. Staring at the empty studio around him, Tao finally succumbed to those thoughts and thoroughly defeated, tears began to stream down his face. Memories of how they practiced together as trainees worked their way back into Tao’s mind and he punched the floor beside him angrily. “Why did you leave, dui zhang, why did you leave you idiot?” As he shouted the anger gradually left him and all that was left was emptiness. “Why did you leave, da ge, I really really miss you.”

Wu Yifan took his seat and fastened his seatbelt mechanically. His eyes betrayed no emotion and he made no attempt to talk to the people beside him, causing his new manager to look at him worriedly. Inwardly however, he had already exhausted all the emotions that he was capable of feeling. He was exhausted and no longer had the energy to care about what was going on around him. When the news started to play on the screen at the front of the aeroplane cabin however, his heart started to feel alive again when he saw the faces of his EXO members. His heart started to get heavier and heavier as the news continued to play and finally, he could stand it no longer and closed his eyes. He grabbed his headphones and put them over his ears as well, in a desperate attempt to block out the noise. The noise wouldn’t leave him however, and he realized it was because they came from within him. On an impulse, he decided that he needed to find a way to release his emotions, else there was no way he was ever going to move on. Not that he particularly wanted to, not at this point in time, but it was inevitable. He had to forgive…and forget. He shook his head at the thought. No, he never wanted to forget, but he had to find some way to convey his thoughts and emotions to the other members, the members who thought that he had abandoned them, and the members who felt betrayed by his actions. Reaching for a scrap of paper he found at the bottom of his bag and retrieving a pen that he always carried around in his pocket, he began to visualize his beloved members in front of him.

As he penned down his thoughts, he spoke to every single one of them sincerely and with all his heart. He closed his eyes and let the words flow. At the end of a few painful minutes, he opened his eyes and looked at what he wrote. In a messy scrawl of Chinese, his emotions shone clearly. An empty smile formed on his face, his last emotions and thoughts to s had already been emptied out onto that rough draft of a song. Tucking that tear-stained sheet of paper back into his bag, he finally allowed himself to relax. This wasn’t the end for the 12 of them; they were always one, no matter what happened. 

    Author's note:

      No offense indicated to anyone, if you don't like my story I'm sorry but it's just fiction that I came up with. Thank you for reading:) 

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