What if

 

Sehun walked back into his empty apartment with all the memories of her. It had been a year since they broke up, he laid on his bed starring at the ceiling as he closed his eyes, imagining her warm eye starring into his as he embraced her. He hugged himself tightly as silently tears of acceptance finally fell down his cheeks as he realised that no matter how much he wished for her to return to his side, she was gone from his life.

 

Sehun opened the door to leave and go shopping for food, as he walked out he saw her standing next door, closing her door. They both froze at the sight of one another, she looked more beautiful than the last time he saw her. Her hair was longer, lighter, her cheeks rosy and she glowed. She looked at him with wide eyes, he looked skinner, tired, dry lips and she honestly was worried for him. She was about to walk to him but she felt two arms wrap around her waist and a familiar scent filled her nose. She squealed a little as he squeezed her sides but smiled brightly to the male behind her.

 

"Lay! You’re so early today!"

 

The Chinese man showed his famous dimples to her before caressing her head in a loving manner, "I missed you and you take forever."

 

Sehun watched the couple interacted and felt blue all over as remembered the memories they shared. He felt happy though, because she wasn't alone anymore and she wouldn't have to suffer anymore but he couldn't deny the sadness he felt in his heart as he wished it was him. He looked at the couple once more as they walked away hand in hand, smiling and laughing as he held her close. Sehun managed to pull a small sad smile and funny enough he didn't hate it how it was him with her but he was thankful he was with her now.

 

 

"Hyung!" Sehun called out to his friend who waved at him, waiting at their favourite cafe.

 

"Sehun ah!" Luhan ran towards the boy, engulfing him into a bone crushing bear hug. "I want to introduce you to some of my Chinese friends." He sat down and notice 3 unfamiliar faces yet one seemed a bit more familiar.

 

"Oh this is Sehun, guys." He said in Chinese to the Chinese males.

 

"I'm Kris, nice to meet you." He said in a deep voice, he was surprised he could speak Korean so well.

 

"I'm Zitao but you can call me Tao!" A panda boy said with a smile.

 

"I'm Yixing but Lay is fine." The dimple faced man gave a friendly wave. Sehun felt uncomfortable as he definitely recognise him now, he was the man that she was with now.

 

"I hope we can all get along-"

 

"Oppa I can't believe you." A young woman interrupted him and Sehun felt his breath hitch for a moment. She plopped herself down next to Lay and Luhan whom she pulled his ear harshly making the poor Chinese man whimper in pain.

 

"AHHH YAH! That hurts!" He whined and she whacked his head.

 

"Serves you right." She pulled her tongue as Luhan rubbed his head in whimpering manner.

 

Sehun finally called her name which made her eyes widen as she slowly turned to see him. A silence overcame them as the atmosphere around them became more tense and awkward. Luhan glanced at both of them and looked over to Lay and shook his head motioning for him leave them alone. When they broke it was too sudden and it wasn't properly ended, both Sehun and her were in a mess and to this day they still are, they needed to solve their feelings for one another. Luhan coughed in attempt to relieve some of the tension but failed terribly.

 

"You know, I didn't properly show Lay and all that around Seoul so how about we leave first?" Luhan asked and all three boys nodded as they stood up.

 

Lay gently touched her shoulder and whispered a hush, 'call me?' As the China line left the cafe, meaning only Sehun and her were left they both kept quiet for some time before she stood up and grabbed her purse to walk out. Sehun caught her wrist which stopped her from leaving the cafe, or him.

 

"Stay..." He mumbled, "Don't leave me..."

 

She turned around slowly as she felt that familiar feeling when he was with her. The familar beating in her rib cage made her fustrated, she hated how she couldn't get over him completely and he had this effect on her.

 

"What is it Oh Sehun?" She tried to say in her most cold voice but turned out to be to sound desperate.

 

"Let me explain..." He said softly and she hated how he sounded so vulnerable when it should be her.

 

"You have 5 minutes to explain why you don't love me anymore." She turned around and faced him finally. He called her name in a broken tone as they both left the cafe to go to the park across from it.

 

She was still beautiful to him, she never had to impress him because he was grateful that he even held her in his arms but things got tricky with work and his family problems that he started to neglect her and suddenly the three words of love disappeared in their relationship or was it forgotten. He couldn't remember the last time he said those words to anyone. They stopped and sat down on a bench in front of a lake and he fiddled with his fingers trying to put his feelings into words.

 

"I still love you." He started and she looked at him momentarily, "But I don't regret is breaking up." He said in soft tone which shocked her. She didn't know what to say, she was speechless.

 

"If you truly love me then why don't you regret breaking up with me!?" She asked in a harsh tone.

 

He kept silent but looked up into the sky as he let out a deep breath, "Because I'm not the right one for you and if I kept you for any longer, I feel like I would be selfish."

 

She felt mad, frustrated to be exact, why was he being like this? In a normal situation a man would be on his knees begging for the woman he loved to return back to his side but here he was saying that she shouldn't return to him? Then she remembered, Oh Sehun was never your typical Korean man.

 

"Tell me... Did you ever actually love me for real?"

 

The wind blew past them as the sun soon disappeared as the moon reappeared. Sehun felt the irony, it was like he was Apollo the god of the Sun that fell madly in love with the goddess of the moon, Daphne and no matter what he will forever chasing after her but never meeting because their love was never meant to be like Sehun and her relationship.

 

"I never doubted my love for you." He said and she grabbed him by the collar and pulled him closer as she let her frustration take over her actions.

 

"Then why!? Why aren't you selfish enough!?" She screamed into his face as he let her do so and suddenly tears fell from her eyes as she hit him in the chest.

 

"Did you ever think what if it was you that I wanted to be with?!" She looked up at him with tear stained cheeks.

 

"Why did you tell me you don't love me anymore when we broke up!?" She hit him again as he attacks started to become weak and soon she sobbed into his chest as he hugged her. He softly caressed her cheek and wiped her tears away and smiled softly at her before pulling her closer to his chest and hugging her. Her tears still fell but somehow she felt better that she let out her frustrations that she bottled up after he left to do his service.

 

"I've always wondered after we broke up, what if it was me holding you when you cried and muttered apologies. What if it was me cradling you to sleep and waking up to see your beautiful face every day I woke up. For a year I've always what if you still loved me, would you take me back?" He answered all her questions as he let out a dry painful chuckle. "That day when I said I didn't love you anymore it wasn't because I was lying, it was because it was your feelings not mine." She looked up at him confused, how would he know her feelings? He wasn't her, she thought.

 

"I think we loved each other so much that we soon forgot what being loved and wanting to be love was. We thought because we would say those three magic words of love that we would still feel the same but I think over time we out grew one another feelings to the point where we weren't sure if we loved each other anymore but still said those words." Sehun explained his reply as she thought to herself, what is he was right and maybe we did out grow our love for one another.

 

"Don't you think the same? Maybe it's time to move on hmm?" He chuckled and she knew he was only pretending to be fine as she nodded. He gently pulled her away from his embrace as he put some distance between the two of them, he desperately wanted to close that distance but he knows better and even if she was only an arm distance away it felt like miles.

 

"Let's break up?"

 

He asked with one of the saddest smile she had ever seen in her life as she could almost see the tears in his eyes as he tried his hardest to be fine. She couldn't see him in this state so she gave a weak smile as well and she held his hand giving it a small squeeze.

 

"Let's break up."