Day 20

 

Today was very tiring. I got up too early, my fiancée forbidden me to eat breakfast and lunch which . I don’t know why I’m being treated like this all for a cake. Yeah we went wedding cake flavor hunting today! I didn’t know there are so many kinds of cakes it’s like Whoa!

 

There are just so many flavors. I didn’t know tasting each cake will be this exhausting. So far my fiancée set her heart into Apple Spice which contains of brown sugar cream cheese frosting and caramel buttercream and God knows what else yeah

 

Gah this is stupid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 19

 

So last night my fiancée gave me this silly notebook (the cover is our picture together surrounded by pink, yellow, hearts, flowers and all that girly stuff and then there’s this weird looking unicorn and leprechaun drawn into it-not that I am against unicorns and leprechauns) – It’s more like a scrapbook diary.  I’m not sure why she thought I would want it. More, write in it.  She said I have to write about our preparations for our wedding, like my thoughts and expectations and all that experiences because she started writing from Day 250 and she’s leaving the last 20 days to me.

 

I don’t know what she meant by writing my thoughts and all actually, did she mean like what I think about the wedding cake? Or the kind of flowers that has to be used?! Or who to invite? Or which seat I should put Seungri? Like I care where we put him? Actually I wouldn’t mind him standing all throughout the ceremony.

 

Oh yeah I forgot to add. This scrapbook Diary was a gift from Minzy, the kid made my girl promise she’d write everything about our relationship and yes it has 1000 pages on it heh

 

When you open the first page you will be greeted by:

 

 

Countdown to Wedding Day! #THEBIGDAY

 

Kwon Jiyong x Sandara Park = Forever

 

 

 

Girls.

 

Dara is expecting to see novel length Kwon-Jiyong-Point-of-View entries.

 

Confession to Scrapbook Diary and to my Babe: I don’t have anything to say, or write or tell and I don’t want to do this! This is for !

 

 

P.S. But I have to because my Dara is going to read it on our honeymoon night ;)) might as well be poetic

 

 

P.S.S. I love you Dara!

 

 

Wow therapeutic enough eh?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 18

 

 

Okay I’m here again, ready to write about how my day went!

 

Since my Dara is going to read this she expected me to be honest and open like what she did in the past pages.(And I don’t like keeping secrets to my Dara)  So yeah, here it is.

 

First of all I HATE THIS. I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS!

 

N

 

O

 

N O #NO Scrapbooks and diaries are for girls! No one but a woman would think her words were so special that they should be recorded for future generations to be gazed upon, if a man had something important to say, he would carve it into a rock or move mountains to get the message across all places or something. Women can’t do that because it might ruin their newly manicured nails. Yeah, that’s why women have diaries and scrapbooks and MEN DON’T!

 

I’m ranting. I know but I just have to let it out, sorry Scrapbook Diary.

 

By the way, I went with Dara today to visit the place where we’re going to have our wedding. It’s going to be in a private island. We’re going to have a beach wedding! :D

 

It got me a little teary eyed standing there and holding hands with Dara, I mean it was pretty romantic. Just a few more days and we’re going to be back in that place where we’re going to get married. It’s the place where we’re going to be husband and wife before God and our love ones. It’s the place where Sandara is going to be my wife.

 

I can’t breathe just by thinking about it!

 

 

 

I’m so fu*king happy!! XD

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 17

 

 

Dara is panicking because Bom noona gained 5 pounds and still insists she didn’t!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 16

 

 

If you think having a wedding coordinator and all make it easy you’re wrong!

 

If you think it’s only the bride who gets cold feet and stressed and all you’re absolutely wrong!

 

Let me clarify that. I am NOT having cold feet but I am getting frustrated! I want this wedding to be perfect and less tiring and frustrating for my fiancée but there are people who obviously missed the in note.  Dara’s wedding gown designer called earlier and said that there are some complications; apparently as the gown was being shipped from France it got freaking lost in the airport like how the heck did that happen?!

 

Just what kind of idiot will lost it?!

 

My Dara is upset and sad, hell even she says it’s alright and that she could just go buy a wedding gown in the rack I know deep down it’s not okay, she’s not okay.My Dara is heartbroken. There’s only 16 days to go before our wedding. The wedding gown was personally designed by her favorite designer and it was a design made just for her and now some idiot lost it in the airport. I don’t ing care what this people will do but Dara’s wedding gown better be found in less than  24 hours, if I don’t see my woman smiling tomorrow I’m going to ing combust.

 

 

 

 

 

Day 15

 

    I called Yang Hyunseuk hyung and threaten him that I’d call the freaking president of South Korea to demand he launch a full on search for my future wife’s missing wedding gown. It was crazy I know but you didn’t see how sad Dara’s eyes were, its our wedding day and she was supposed to be relaxing and just getting emotionally prepared for the big day but my fiancée was out yesterday frantically looking for a wedding gown in online catalogues and in racks.

 

I don’t give a sh*t if I sound like an , it’s not their fiancée who’s in panic mode and in the verge of frustration!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 14

 

 

Groom’s men fitting day. If you have four groom’s men you’d go crazy, my boys want to sing their very own rendition of I will always Love you by Celine Dion in my wedding. No ing way! I’m going to freaking kill them if they do.

 

And Dara’s wedding gown is still missing

 

 

 

 

 

Day 13

 

 

I brought Sanghyun into the club then got him so drunk he can’t walk then I lost him!

 

Dara is going to kill me! Although she won’t, she can’t because she loves me big time hehe

 

But I’m going to compromise.

 

So here’s a confession.

 

 

I’m nervous.

 

      I’m scared. I’m scared as hell. Just a few days left and I’m going to get married. I can’t even put it to words, it’s hard.  I’m really nervous! I’m nervous to stand in that aisle and wait for my bride. I’m scared because what if my Dara wouldn’t appear? What if she wakes up on our wedding day realizing, I’m not good enough? What if she knew what I always knew that she deserves someone better? Someone less selfish, someone who is more mature and someone who’d make her really happy, someone who wouldn’t make her cry many times and still ask for her heart and undying love and trust? I’ve broken her heart quite a lot of times, I tested her trust and I hurt her many times but she still stayed with me. She stayed by my side and would smile, accept me again and again and she’d tell me, “Jiyong I’m not being a martyr, I just simply love you.”

 

I love you too Dara I’d always say, I’d always apologize. Now, if she wouldn’t bump her head one of these days and wake up from the daze and realize that she is not in love with me, I would do everything in my power, everything I could. I’d give everything just to see her smile, to hear her I love you Jiyongs. But the wedding day is not the only thing I’m nervous about, or scared about.

 

I’m scared about what’s going to happen when we’re husband and wife. Marriage life is not going to be easy like what most people say.  I’m scared because I have no Idea how to be a good husband. I doubt myself, I hid behind this mask of confidence and arrogance but I break too and I’m scared, I’m scared I wouldn’t be a good husband. I’m scared Sandara will have doubts and questions herself of marrying me.

 

Damn. I sound like a but I’m pouring all my emotions and insecurity here. It’s just that my Dara is so great, so beautiful, so smart and simply wonderful. I can’t help but question myself or question her. Why me?

 

Why is Kwon Jiyong the one for her?

 

Why is Dara in love with me?

 

She’s just so wonderful, so beautiful I almost hate her for it. I love Dara so much it hurts.