Doojoon POV

 

"Hey man. It's gonna be alright, you won't have it." Kikwang said

 

"I know, it's fine. It won't be anything. Hey, in 3 weeks, in gonna be jumping up and down again." I spoke

 

"That's it man. Stay strong, and fight through adversity" kikwang motivated

 

"Kikwang, I'm confident About it, you seem more nervous than me!" I said

 

"You should be confident!!! We are best friends, and I really care about you. That's why I am nervous." Kikwang said

 

"Doojoon! Dr. Park is ready for you" the nurse spoke

 

"Yes, I'm coming" I replied

 

"Doojoon, remember, it will be okay." Kikwang said 

 

...

 

"3 months. At max. Your condition isn't good. And you know it. I'm sorry to say this but, I'm afraid you will have to start saying your good byes." Dr. Park said

 

...

 

"So how'd it go? Are you okay? What did he say. Are you okay? Do those nose bleeds mean anything? How come your vision is getting worse? What's happening???" Kikwang shot at me

 

"Relax man. I'm fine. He said it's because of a new allergy I got, it's making my vision weird, and he said I should get more rest." I lied

 

"Really. So you are fine." Kikwang asked

 

"I'm fine!!! I'm okay. No problems man. Don't worry, I'll be there with you when you get married with IU get married. My wedding gift will be there!" 

 

"Hey, I want you there too.... But still, make sure that gift isn't cheap!!" Kikwang joked

 

"There we go, that's the kikwang I know." I said

 

I couldn't let kikwang know. There's no way he would be okay with it, these next 3 months will be the last months I have. I'm gonna have as much fun as I can, and make sure no one around me gets hurt. It's best if I go alone. Silently with no one knowing.

 

*1 week later*

 

I made up my mind. I had dreams. I had goals, I'm gonna fulfill as much as I can. I want to meet her. She filled up my life with love, and I want to thank her for everything she became in my life. I bought tickets to Seoul, South Korea. I'm korean, yet I never step foot on my home country yet. I want to go there. And leave peacefully. 

 

During this past week I cut my hair down to about 2 inches on top and 5 cm on the sides. This is significantly shorter than the 5 inches I was use to. I went for that haircut so I could make it easier for myself to maintain it. It's getting harder for me to see and I sense I don't have much time remaining for seeing the world. With the remaining eye sight I had, I wrote letters to my family telling them lies like I'm going to to Korea on a 5 month vacation. no way would I want them to know. I went to the lawyer's office to get everything organized, like what will happen after my death. My lawyer asked his brother, a lawyer in Korea, to help me organize what would happen there. He was nice enough to rent me an apartment and take care of my body after I leave this world. But he said that all he could do since he had a couple of big cases on hand like Clara's lawsuit against Polaris Entertainment, and I couldn't complain, he has already helped me so much. While I saw my lawyer my will was set to give my life savings to my sister and left my car to my parents. I also spent some to send kikwang on an all inclusive 20 day trip to Okinawa. As I went through my stuff it hit me that  besides my cash and car, I didn't really have much to give them. I quit my job, terminated my rent, and I also went to a studio to get a photoshoot done of myself. I wanted to leave behind the best image I can in front of them. I arranged the delivery of this photoshoot to be made 2 days after the lawyers office sent them the notice. My Lawyer comforted me and told me not to do what I was setting up. He urged me to tell them but I didn't listen. In the end, he helped me, and I am grateful to him because he's doing something outside of his duties. He and his brother are helping me find a resting place and organizing my parting gifts to my family after I pass away. 

 

---

 

"Hey, Yoseop. You busy tonight? I want to talk to you about something." I told him as my call connected through to him

 

"Sure I got nothing doing tonight, so the usual place? And how about at 8?" He replied

 

"Sounds good, see you there." 

 

I wanted to talk to Yoseop about my condition, so I asked him to dinner to our usual korean place. After my phone call with Yoseop, I seriously thought about what I would say to him. Do I tell him everything? Or do I hunt this to him? He's my best friend, and I have the most trust with him. Ah! What do I do.

 

----

 

"Hey!" I said as I waved to him

 

"Hey Doojoon, what's up? You sounded like you had something to say to me" Yoseop asked me

 

"Let's order first. I'm Famished" I said

 

"sure, what do you want to eat?" Yoseop added

 

"Let's just have 2 of ddeokbokki." I suggested

 

"Sure. ahjumma, were ready" Yoseop  called

 

"Yes, what do you want today?" 

 

"2 orders of ddeokbokki , and also 2 bottles of Soju please"

 

"Okay. Coming right up."

 

"So Doojoon. What do you want to talk about?" Yoseop asked

 

"It's about me. And I need you to help me keep a secret." I told him

 

"Why, what's wrong." Yoseop asked with a puzzled expression 

 

"I went to the doctor's office for a check up last week, and he told me I only had 3 months to live"

 

"What. No way. This isn't funny Doojoon. Stop joking—"

 

"I'm not. I knew something was wrong with me a few months ago but I just never went to get it checked out. Then it started getting more serious. My vision started getting worse and I randomly started getting nosebleeds. Kikwang told me to go get it checked out so I went last week with him" I explained

 

"So your serious. And he knows about this too?" Yoseop commented 

 

"No. I lied to him. He doesn't know about this, I can't let him know. He's really happy with IU, and he told me he's planning to propose to her soon. If I tell him now, I'm scared I'll make him wait till later. I don't want to affect his life with my own problem" I continued to explain 

 

"But Doojoon, this is what friends are for. You have to tell him. Don't steal him from the only thing in this world. Don't steal him from the truth he deserves to know." Taecyeon advised

 

"But telling him would do nothing. There's nothing he can do to help. Maybe some things in life are just meant to remain hidden. I have already thought about this Taecyeon. I made this hard decision yesterday. I thought hard and decided this is the best way for me to go down. It's painful, seeing the people around me. My family, my friends all sharing the pain that shouldn't affect them. It's getting harder for me. Day by day my vision gets worse, and this is what worries me even more. I don't want to one day wake up not being able to see and get everyone around me tense because of my condition. Yoseop. I thought about others all my life. But maybe, maybe this time it's best for me to be selfish and steal the truth from everyone." I ranted 

 

"Doojoon. Is there no way to fight it? What did the doctors say? I still don't like you doing this. It's not the best idea. Telling people would be better."  Taecyeon worried

 

"I did tell someone. I told you. I trust you would honor my decision to lie to everyone. I need you to help me, that's why I told you."

 

"I don't like it. But I will help. What do you need me to do?" 

 

"I just need you to go along with my lie that I am flying to korea for a 5 month vacation." I said

 

"Stealing the truth and running away with it?" Yoseop commented

 

"It's the only thing I know that would protect them from this pain." I replied 

 

"You know. Maybe they will have more pain if they find out you don't tell them. I don't want to attack you or anything, but I am just offering you a different opinion." Yoseop advised

 

"I know, it will be hard on everyone after I leave. But... Never mind. Just think that I am selfish. This is what I want. And I will go through with my plan. I'm stubborn and you can't change it." I said

 

"And also. You have no one in Korea, who will take care of you? It's not like an angel will fall from the sky!" Yoseop said in a last attempt to stop me

 

"I will figure it out then." I said

 

"2 orders of ddeokbokki" ahjumma said

 

"Thank you, we'll enjoy the meal!" Taecyeon and I said in unison

 

I spent the remainder of that night explains to Yoseop of what I wanted him to do. I planned to hold a dinner gathering with all of my friends telling them that I was leaving for korea. It was easy getting by my parents and sister because they always knew I wanted to go their, and they didn't have any suspiciousness as to why I went at this time. My flight to korea was in 4 days time and I had already set up everything. I got the address to my house in korea and I also had copies of my paper documenting my condition prepared just in case they want to know how I am when I get to the hospital over there in Seoul. Besides from the weekly tests I had. I was to be in peace over in Seoul because I know nobody and nobody knows me. 

 

----

 

It's finally the day. I'm in bed today and it's the big day. I am flying to Korea. And I am not coming back. Today will be the last day here. After yesterday's dinner with Yoseop, kikwang, and the rest of my buds. This is the day. No one would stop me. I told them to not come to the airport with me today. My mom and dad insisted she will come but I told her not to, my sister wanted to come but She had to go to work. 

 

It's 8am and after I washed up. I took one last long look at my house as today was the last time I would ever be here. I took medium sized suitcase and left. I took a taxi to the airport and checked in. I triple checked this morning for my passport and health documents before I left to ensure when I arrived in Korea the doctors their would know of my condition right away if anything major happens. This morning, my eyes started stinging and I feel my vision has worsened greatly these past 2 days. I just wish nothing will happen until after I meet Hyosung at there fan sign. I sat on a bench waiting for them to call people into the plane

 

*ring ring ring*

 

"Hello" I answered 

 

"Hey." Yoseop said

 

"What is it?" I asked

 

"Nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice one last time" Yoseop  muttered 

 

"It's okay yoseop, it's what I want." I mentioned

 

"Yeah... I-I know. Have a safe flight man." Yoseop  murmured with a sniffle 

 

"Bye bro. Thanks for being supportive of me" I said as emotions started taking me as well. 

 

"Bye..." Yoseop said one last time while hanging up.

 

After about 5 minutes. They started calling people into board the plane. I grabbed my carry on bag and went on. I found my seat and waited slowly for my 9 hour direct flight to Korea to commence. 

 

----- *13 hours later* -----

 

After my long flight, I waited another 2 hours before I could get my luggage and slowly made my way to my rented apartment. I got onto the taxi and showed the driver the address and he took me there. When I arrived, which was about a 50 minute drive it was 7pm  KST. I found my way to the apartment, which was on the 7 floor I set my luggage and grabbed my wallet to go look for a bite. I also did a bit of exploring and located the near by corner store and also figured out the closest hospital in this area. I decided to just eat from the corner store tonight since it was cheap and that I did not convert all my money into the local currency. I bought a Raman and ate right there. This Raman was the best I had. Ever. Maybe eating it in Korea had a different atmosphere then at home. But I don't remember having something so good. I continued to explore and eventually I went back home. Tomorrow was a busy day for me. I needed to visit the hospital so that they were aware of my condition and I also needed to plan out the big day, Secret's fan sign in 2 weeks.

 

I made my way back to the apartment and started unpacking. I also made a list of the daily necessities I needed to buy. I didn't bring much to Korea so the unpacking was faster than I had anticipated. 

 

"I'm finally here. Away from them. I won't be able to hurt them." I said to the four walls that accompanied me.

 

_A/N___

Doojoon has made it to korea. Has he made a wrong choice? He left his friends. His brothers.

 

 The brotherhood is real!