Confessions and Heartbreak

Heart Breaker

It was a normal Friday morning for Song Hye Mi. She was going about with her usual daily routine of getting up at around seven o'clock in the morning to get ready for school, then making her ten minute walk to the facility where she resided in for eight hours, five days a week to learn. But there was one special thing about this particular Friday that made her heart flutter and her stomach churn. Today was the day that she would confess her feelings to her longtime crush of five years, Jackson Wang. 

 

She had first developed this crush in the fourth grade, and they were both now in their freshmen year of highschool. The first time that she had met Jackson, was when they were both in the same fourth grade class. And as fate would have it, they remained in the same classes for the next five years. Jackson had always been the cutest boy in her opinion, his charming smile always managing to make her heart do backflips. He had always been a kind person as well, as she had observed. He always opened doors for others and once, he even helped her pick up her books when she had dropped them in the sixth grade. Since she knew that her feelings shouldn't be kept in the dark any longer, she finally gathered the courage to declare them to him. 

 

'Wow, today's the day. Song Hye Mi, you can do it!' she thought as she neared the vicinity of Hyunsong High School. 

 

After putting away her unneeded items in her locker, she made her way towards her first period class. The plan that she had structured the previous night before, was that she would make the big move after school, when there would most likely be less people around to make her more nervous than she already was. Finally reaching her first period calculus class, she forced her worries of what was about to happen later on in the day aside. Instead, now trying to put all of her attention on the brain wrenching math problems that were now decorating the whiteboard in blue, red, and black dry erase marker. 

 

7 Hours Later

 

She blew out a nervous stream of air, making her way towards Jackson's locker, her sneakers dragging along the cement in anticipation. A few more steps, and she would reach her destination. Hye Mi tried her best to look confident, pushing her shoulders back and raising her head high in the air, and placing a big smile on her face. She had researched once before that guys found confidence attractive, so she tried her best to be nothing else but the very concept of confidence. Switching from her timid steps to a sassy strut, she completed her final steps to Jackson's locker where she found him packing away his belongings into his black right pack JanSport backpack. 

 

"Hey Jackson!" she gently greeted as she stood before him. 

 

"Hi Hye Mi", he replied as he finished zipping up his backpack. 

 

"So" Hye Mi continued on, the nerves slowly creeping their way into her voice. "I have something to tell you Jackson". 

 

"Sure, go ahead", he responded with a warm smile on his face. His eyes connected with hers, making her quickly divert them to the floor in embarrassment. 

 

Taking in a deep breath and letting it go in an attempt to calm the rapid beating of her heart, Hye Mi prepared herself to continue.

 

"I like you Jackson" she finally let out. "I've liked you since elementry school, fourth grade to be exact. I can only hope that you feel the same way, will you go out with me?" After those last words were spoken, Hye Mi found the strength to raise her eyes to meet his. 

 

She saw that his mouth was open a bit, his eyes full of utter shock. Her heart began to beat more rapidly, her thoughts turning into her worst enemy. 

 

'What if he doesn't like me! Aish! Song Hye Mi, what have you done!' her brain frantically yelled at her. 

 

Jackson's voice soon disrupted her train of thought.

 

 "Hye Mi", he spoke sullenly. "I'm flattered that you feel that way, and respect the fact that you actually had the courage to tell me. But I don't feel that way towards you." he ended. 

 

And with that, she felt her heart plummet 100 feet, erupting into millions of pieces as it finally reached the cold hard surface of reality. A piece of her couldn't accept the fact that she had just been rejected. After all, liking someone for as long as she had and then being rejected by them, was not something that a person could digest in a quick and calm manner. 

 

Blinded by her denial of the fact that Jackson had just rejected her, she found herself speaking once more. 

 

"W-why?" was what escaped her lips. "What is the reason that you don't feel the same way towards me? There's got to be an explanation. You owe me that at the very least."

 

Jackson stood still for a moment, thinking over an answer to the question. He adjusted the left strap of his backpack before finally giving an answer. 

 

"I'm sorry, but you're just not my type. I mean, why would I want to date someone who looks like a pig?" 

 

Hye Mi was definitely not expecting such wicked words to escape the lips of a person that she had always seen as an angel. Jackson had always been such a sweet, caring person. When had he suddenly changed into the type of person who so coldly called someone names as painful as a pig?

 

Seeing that she was frozen to her spot, Jackson took that as his opportunity to leave the tense atmosphere. 

 

"I've got to go", he blatantly said as he brushed past her quickly. He was almost out of earshot, but not before Hye Mi was able to get in a few words. 

 

"I hate you, you jackass!" she yelled in anger at his disappearing figure. She saw him freeze momentarily at her sudden statement, but that was only for a split second before he continued walking away from her. 

 

 

"I can't believe that I actually liked an like him!" Hye Mi reprimanded herself as she walked home. She felt beyond humiliated, and aside from her humiliation, she felt a fiery passion of anger forming within her. But she could not deny the pain that she felt from Jackson's words. 

 

'A pig? Who does he think he is, calling me a pig.' 

 

'I'm not a pig. Am I?'

 

Thoughts like these circled around her mind the entire walk home. And once she reached her house and got the door unlocked, she dashed up the stairs to her room, not even returning the greeting that her mom had given her as she entered the house. Her mind was too focused on the thoughts inhabiting it to have even noticed. 

 

Finally within the confines of her room with the door closed and locked, Hye Mi looked at herself in the full length mirror she had propped up in her room. She studied her appearance with judging eyes, taking in every detail of her physique. She eyed her top portion first, taking in her long wavy light brown hair that passed her shoulders, and a slightly chubby round face. Her eyes then scanned over her body. 

 

She had never been the type of person to ever pay any attention to what others thought of her, all that had ever mattered was that she felt happy with who she was. And living by this mind set had led her to eat by her own rules,which meant that there were pretty much no rules when it came to her calorie intake, but the result of doing so had never been a problem until now. She looked at her stomach which was flabby when compared to the supermodels she saw in the magazines that she enjoyed reading. She then observed her arms which were squishy and jiggled when she touched them, hell, once she poked all over herself, she came to the conclusion that her whole being was a squishy marshmallow. 

 

 

She felt a sudden pang of embarrassment.

 

'Do I really look like this?' Hye Mi asked herself in disbelief. 

 

Sure, she had never had the most confidence when it came to her body, and she had known that she didn't have the "best" body out there, especially when compared to the bodies of supermodels who looked absolutely drop dead gorgeous. But actually seeing her body and how big she had gotten over the years, was like a smack to the face. More so, a smack to the face with a brick since she was actually starting to agree with Jackson's words from earlier. 

 

'I am a pig.' 

2 Hours Later

 

Hye Mi was currently sprawled out on her bed like a starfish, her arms and legs spread out. She had done nothing but think about what Jackson had said to her, and continuously came to the verdict that she was in fact, a pig. She hated Jackson even more now. For his words had left a mark on her heart, and a permanant one at that. She had never felt more worthless than she currently felt. In fact, ever since she had begun to agree with Jackson's words, she started to feel paranoid of what people around her thought of her. She began to think back to previous days and think up the most ridiculous things. 

 

'Maybe this is why Jaebum offered me his pudding during lunch. He thought I needed more food since I'm such a fat .' 

 

'Ughhh! Jackson Wang, you're such a for making me turn into one of those people who worry so much about how they look, and how people see them. I absolutely hate you. '

 

Her frantic mind was snapped out of its daze when her phone suddenly rang on her bedside table where she had placed it earlier. She reached over to grab it, though she didn't exactly feel in the mood to talk to anyone. 

 

Once she got her phone in her grasp, she flipped it over to the screen side to see who was calling her at such an incovenient time. All she wanted to do at the moment  was sulk in her self-hate, and hatred of a piece of scum named Jackson Wang. 

 

Reading the contact name, a smile instantly formed on her lips. 

 

'Mark Tuan', read the contact. 

 

 

A/N : Yay!! The first chapter!! I really hope you guys enjoy the story ;)))

 

 

 

 

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