"Hello.  My name is Tao Huang."

"Tao!  Help!"

"If you're calling to challenge me to battle, I am currently out of the country and will not return until the 30th.  Press 1 to schedule an appointment."

"Suho's crazy fiance locked me up in his closet!"

"If you're calling for fashion-related enquiries, please press 2."

"And Suho's going to get married to him and I can't stop him!"

"If you would like to leave a message, please keep it under 30 seconds as my time is valuable, thank you."

"HURRY!"

Church bells were ringing.  The choir was singing.  In the front row, reporters were drooling over the happy...ish couple. 

"Do you, Suho Kim, take Xiumin Kim to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Suho could feel hundreds of eyes and camera lenses on him. His parents nodded at him; his mother mouthed "I do."   The same words were on the tip of Suho's tongue, ready to be released into the expectant air.

Suho was torn.  Part of him screamed that this wasn't right, and that he was promising himself away to a life he didn't want. The other part, the logical part, reasoned that this was the best choice following a simple cost-benefit analysis.  Xiumin was a) nice b) rich c) dependable, d) in possession of solid muscles, and e) not part of a criminal organization.  What was there not to love?  

Putting on a brave smile, Suho turned to his soon-to-be husband.  For some reason, Xiumin wasn't meeting his eyes.

"I do."

Suho stared at his shiny reflection in the gold plates as he listened to the guests talk at length about how he and Xiumin were so lucky to have found one another.  Everyone was competing to give the most moving speech that would earn them a quote in the newspapers.  At the moment, a man with a walrus mustache was speaking very passionately and tearfully as though he were the one getting married. 

"...these two young men...so in love, you can just see it in their eyes...!"

Suho frowned at his reflection and fixed his middle part.

"...I remember when I first met my wife...stars filled my vision...flames ignited in my heart..."

"Suho," Xiumin whispered.  

"Yes?" Suho quickly arranged his mouth into a smile and faced his fiance.

"...my soul felt complete...I knew it was true love..."

Xiumin looked away.  "Are you...uh, happy?"

"...of course, there were dozens others lining up for my hand...I was a very popular man..."

"What a silly question," Suho laughed. "Shouldn't a man's wedding be his happiest day?"

"You tell me." Xiumin wasn't laughing.

"...but I had eyes for no one else..."

Suho pressed his lips together and said nothing.

"Right."  Xiumin sighed into his cup of fine aged bubble tea.

"Look," Suho said hurriedly. "You know how our story is supposed to go. We marry, our parents can retire happy, the public is happy. That's the way it's supposed to be. I understand that, and I'm satisfied with my choice."

"Your choice, or your parents'?" Xiumin asked.

"...and to conclude," Walrus Mustache finally finished his speech.  "I wish the two young men a long and lucrative life together.  And, by the way, should you two gentlemen ever be interested in forming an alliance with us, Cho Co. Clothing, feel free to talk to me after the reception--"

"All right, wonderful, very moving!" The MC grabbed the microphone out of Walrus Man's hands.  "Anyone else?  No?  Great--"

"I'd like a few words to say myself," a new voice piped up. Suho and Xiumin both groaned inwardly.  Chairs scraped and polite apologies filled the air as the microphone travelled around the room.  Suho hid a yawn, as he half listened-- “Hello. My name is Tao Huang."

Suho's head snapped up.  

"Lovely wedding." Tao, dressed in a sleek tuxedo, nodded to someone in the crowd. Suho rubbed his eyes and stared. What was Tao doing in Won Land?  More importantly, what was he doing at Suho's wedding?   Suho searched around the room for a security guard as Tao continued talking. "I like your dress, ma'am... yes, I'm talking to you...is that from the Shinee's latest Dream Girl Collection?"

"Er, yes," Lovely Dress lady said.  Suho realized that it was Mrs. Han, from the town orphanage.  The sight of her and her husband brought a twinge to his heart; they were the closest thing to parental figures that Kris had had. 

"I thought so.  Excellent taste.  By the way, is that your husband beside you...? Hello, sir. Do you remember me?  It’s been a while.”

Mr. Han looked confused. "I'm afraid I don't...."

"Well, I remember," Tao said. "I never forget a face.  I'm not surprised you don't remember me.  You didn't even see me.  But I did.  I watched as you killed a defenseless woman.  I was too little, then, to do anything about it.  But I'm not little anymore."

Confused glances and polite laughter filled the room, as the audience tried to figure out the joke while pretending to understand it.  Meanwhile, Suho felt cold realization grip his stomach, even as his mind raced to catch up.

“Hello. My name is Tao Huang.  You killed my mother.  Prepare to die.”

The audience's laughter turned into screams, as Tao drew out his knives.

Fifteen years of nightmares finally came to an end, as Tao sent his knives flying straight for the man’s heart. 

Understandably, having a dead guest kind of put a damper on the celebration.   The guards went in hot pursuit of the assassin.  People trampled over one another to save themselves like the classy upper-class citizens that they were.  In the midst of all the confusion, no one noticed Suho getting pulled away.

"Let go of me!"  Suho cried.  "Guards!  Help!"

Tao dragged Suho into a pantry, where he handcuffed Suho to the fridge.  Suho struggled and yanked, sending tubs of ice cream and boxes of frozen meals falling to the floor. Meanwhile, Tao snatched several bottles of cooking oil off the nearest shelf, including a can of vegetable oil with which he used to loosen a rusty-looking air conditioning vent.

"Stop that," Tao snapped as frozen chicken fell out onto the floor.  "I'm taking you to Yifan."

"What fan?"

"Yifan...Oh, right.  Kris."

Suho grew cold all over, and it didn't have to do with the frozen foods strewn around him.  "K...ris?" he squeaked.

"Yes."  Tao finally pried the vent open with his knife.  The cover fell with a loud clang, revealing a rectangular hole in the wall.  Tao gestured.  "You first."

"It's filthy inside!" 

Tao muttered something under his breath ("Ugh, what does gege even see in him?") before freeing Suho's hands and shoving him inside the vent. There was another familiar face waiting.

"Hi Suho!" Chanyeol exclaimed.  He looked at the ring on Suho's hand in dismay. "No, please tell me you didn't marry Xiumin!"

"Sorry, Chanyeol, I was too late to stop him." Tao joined them.  "I'm guessing you weren't able to tell him the truth about the kidnapping."

"I couldn't! I told you, his psycho fiance tied me up!"

"What are you talking about?" Suho interrupted.  "Are you two kidnapping me again?"

As they made their way down the stuffy passageway, Tao and Chanyeol told Suho everything.  How Xiumin's parents had used Suho as a pawn in their quest to gain financial power.  How they had hired the Three Chingus to kidnap Suho and frame the Moxe, and how the Three Chingus had been more than happy to take on the job.   How it had been an ironic twist of fate that Suho's rescuer was the head of the Moxe...and an even more ironic revelation that he was Tao's long-lost brother.

"I suppose I should thank your in-laws," Tao concluded.  "If they hadn't hired us, I would never have been able to fulfill my life's purpose."

Chanyeol gasped.  "You mean, you...?"

"Yes," Tao confirmed.  "I got my revenge, just now. I found the man who killed my family, and I killed him. Just like I'd always dreamed."

"He was Kris' family, though," Suho said softly. "Well, the closest thing he had to a family."

"No," Tao said.  "That man killed both his parents.  That man robbed my brother of a happy childhood so that he could groom him into becoming the Moxe's puppet leader.  That's not true family.  Families are people who care about you and who would do anything to protect you.  Not people who see you as a chess piece or a bargaining chip."

Suho couldn’t help it; he thought of his parents.  He knew they cared about him, but he also knew that they saw him as an investment.   Kris was right. His parents, Xiumin's parents, the Moxe, the Three Chingus...they were all the same. In the end, there weren't purely good or purely bad people. Everyone looked out for their own gain.

...So why shouldn't Suho? Why shouldn't he marry who he really wanted, even if it would hurt his parents and the stock market? Suho sat up in realization.

It was just too bad that this epiphany came too late, after he had already gotten married to a man he didn't love. Darn it.  Suho slumped back down in realization.

The air grew increasingly cold and musty as they travelled downwards.  Suho didn’t know how long he’d been lost in thought, until he was jerked out of his musings by faint rumbling noises coming from above them.

"Damn.  They must’ve caught on," Tao said.  "They know we're in the vents."

"We'd better hurry."

More banging and rumbling noises filled the air as they hurried down the passageway.  Then there was a sound of a crash, much closer.  Light spilled a few meters ahead of them as a vent was yanked open.  A guard poked his head in, and yelled when he caught sight of them.

"They're here!"  He pulled out a walkie-talkie.  "Hey!  I found--"  Tao's knife flew through the air and knocked the walkie-talkie out of his hands.  As the guard hoisted himself up to grab for the displaced object, Tao pulled out the vegetable oil he'd taken from the pantry, as well as a bag of frozen peas.

"I don't think this is the time for a snack..." Suho said weakly.

With impeccable aim, Tao splashed the oil at the floor around the guard and threw a handful of peas.  The guard yelped as his hands slipped on the now-slippery surface.  He scrabbled desperately, but friction was against him.  With a panicky cry, he lost his grip and fell out of the vent.  Seconds later, there was a painful-sounding crash. Tao crawled over, turned off the walkie-talkie, and peered outside.

"Looks like he broke a leg," he noted calmly.  "But I don't think we have much time. The guards know our general location now."  As if on cue, he was interrupted by the sound of more vents along the passageway being forced open. Suho could already see two guards further ahead, and one behind them, crawling into the vents. 

"We’re surrounded!"

Chanyeol turned to Suho. "You want to save Kris, don't you?"

"What? Of course I do!"

"Okay, then.  Tao and I will stay and fight.  You go find Kris."  Chanyeol pulled out a map and shoved it at Suho.  "Go down that way, take the first right, then the second left, down the ladder, then the fifth vent down.  There should be a rope you can slide down into the laboratory room. Kris is there."

"B-but—I can’t!"  Suho stared helplessly down at the map.  "I’m not a hero, like you guys!”

“Sure you are. Anyone can be a hero!"

Suho didn’t think so.  But Tao was already drawing out his knives and getting ready to face the attackers, and Chanyeol was running off with arms full of frozen peas and corn. 

With a shaky breath, Suho took a can of vegetable oil from Tao's bag and took a deep breath. It didn't matter that he had no idea what to do. He was the only one who could save Kris, so he had to do it. 

“I’m coming, Kris. Wait for me.”

It was midnight, and the house was silent.  Luhan hunched over his desk.  His eyes were watery from lack of sleep, but he didn't seem to notice. He typed furiously away at his laptop, a journal in his lap.  

Meanwhile, in the other room, Sehun was sound asleep, dreaming of a beautiful young man with fair skin, a brave young man with golden hair, and a fierce warrior with a wushu stick.  

Fueled by the power of true love, Suho reached his destination in no time.  His joy quickly turned to panic when he saw Kris' motionless body.

"Kris?  What did they do to you?  Kris!" Suho dropped everything and rushed to his lover's side.

At Suho's voice, loud beeps filled the air, and the spikes on the monitor beside the machine grew in amplitude.  Suho stared, perplexed.  Beep.  Beep.

"Kris, wake up,” Suho begged.  

Beep beep beep.  

Suho brushed the blond hair out of Kris' sleeping face before bending down to gently kiss him.  For a second, he imagined that Kris was like Sleeping Beauty, who would be woken by a true love's kiss.  But nothing happened.

Beep.  

"Kris, you said you'd always come back for me. Don't hide."

Beep.  Beep.

"Wake up!  You promised!"

Beep beepbeep.

"POOLBOY! I DEMAND THAT YOU WAKE UP OR I WILL BE V-VERY UPSET AND YOU WILL BE PUNISHED AND I WILL TELL MY PARENTS AND--"

Dark eyes blinked open.

"...not my style."

"Yay!"

"Finish your breakfast before it gets cold."  Mrs. Oh nudged Sehun's arm.  

Sehun took a tiny, uninterested bite, before gazing at Luhan in rapt attention. "And then they kissed, right?"

"Yup," Luhan confirmed.  "I'm guessing you want me to skip over the kissing?"

"Oh. Uh...it's fine." Sehun mumbled. He scowled into his bowl. "I guess kissing is okay sometimes."

Well, unfortunately there wasn't much time for kissing this time around. The door to the lab banged open, and the couple broke apart. Suho launched himself protectively over Kris as he stared...

...into his husband's wide eyes.

"X-Xiumin."

"Suho," Xiumin breathed, taking in the scene.  Then, he noticed Kris and he turned pale.

"Yo." Kris lifted his head, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room.  "Oh, hey.  I'd shake your hand, but I still haven't regained full control over my body.”

"Thanks to you,” Suho added angrily, still staring at Xiumin.  “What happened to our promise?  What happened to letting him go?" Suho’s eyes glinted.  Xiumin had never seen so much emotion in his fiance's face before. 

"Suho," Xiumin gulped.  "I didn't know about, I swear."

"Step aside," Suho growled.  "I don't care if you're my legal husband.  You're not going to hurt Kris again."

"I told you, I didn't know!"

"Well, you still owe me your wedding present: your promise to let Kris go safely.  So step aside.”

For a moment the three men were engaged in a tense staring contest where no one budged.  Although in Kris' case, it might've been because he literally couldn't move.  Then Xiumin looked away and took a deep breath, like he was preparing himself to do something very difficult.

"No.  I don't owe you a wedding present," he said firmly.  Suho stiffened, but Xiumin held up a hand.  "I don't owe you a wedding present...because we never got married."

"Um."  Suho recalled the unpleasant morning.  "I'm pretty sure we did."

"Our wedding from this morning won't hold up in any court of law, because I already married someone else beforehand."

Suho stared.

Xiumin sighed and confessed, "This guy...Chanyeol?...broke into your old room the other night and told me things that I didn't want to believe. About my family.  At first, I thought he was crazy. But then, I had a talk with my father."

"Okay..." Suho said cautiously.  "And then?"

"I've always been a man of action, as you know."  Xiumin gave Suho a small smile.  "I did what my father asked, but on my own terms.  Half an hour later, I got married."

"To whom?"  Suho couldn’t help but pout, slightly miffed.   "Someone less beautiful, I'm sure."

"Someone who doesn't mope over their ex-boyfriend all the time," Xiumin shot back.  "Here."  Xiumin took off the wedding ring on his finger and gave it to Kris.  "My gift to you both."

"A ruby? Not my style," Kris commented, but he allowed Xiumin to slip it on.  

"Whom did you marry?" Suho insisted. 

Xiumin ignored the question with a smirk.  "I'm going to walk upstairs to give a press conference, now. I might accidentally leave the back door through the west wing open. And I might accidentally disable the alarm system there."

"But who--"

"Goodbye, Suho."

"Thank you for the support," Xiumin addressed the crowd.  "Please wish us well."

Dutiful congratulations filled the air.

“Mr. Kim,” a reporter called out. “Er...where exactly is your husband?”

“Right here, of course.”  Xiumin patted the seat next to him, where his parents’ right-hand man was sitting.  Dr. Cat waved, and the crowd laughed politely.  “We got married last night. We just couldn't wait."

The crowd laughed again.

"Chen picked out our rings.  See?"  Xiumin took Chen's hand and lifted it, showing off the matching pair of diamonds set in a cat-eye design.  The laughter dimmed a little, replaced by confused glances.

It took half an hour for the room to realize that Xiumin was not joking, and that Suho really had disappeared.  Subsequently, Mr. Kim had his first public meltdown since 1990.

"Xiumin! You foolish boy!"

Xiumin shrugged.  "I respected your wishes, Father.  I got married.  I did what was the best for the company. Didn't I?  Haven't we known Chen for years?  He knows the business inside and out."

"Yes, but that's not..." Mr. Kim protested. "He's just the help!"

"The 'help' that has basically been running the company for you for the past five years," Dr. Cat reminded with a smirk.  "The 'help' that now owns half of Kimware Corporation."

 “This is hardly the time for jokes,” Xiumin's mother scolded. "What nonsense!"

"I assure you ma'am, I'm dead serious. Xiumin was quite happy to sign the marriage contract I wrote up." Dr. Cat looked smug.  "A law degree does come in useful."

"You little sneak," Mr. Kim hissed at Dr. Cat, who looked more like a cat than ever.  "You've been after our company since day one."

"Yes," Dr. Cat agreed.  “And it’s my company, now, old man." Gasps filled the air as reporters hurried to take down the quote.

"Why you weaselly--"

"Excuse me, Mr. Kim, but what about Suho?" a reporter asked.  Xiumin grinned.

"It's Mr. Kim-Cat, now," he corrected.  "And no offense, but Suho was way too high maintenance.  Chen's more fun to be around." 

As if on cue, a pencil pot shattered against the wall.  Mr. Kim and Dr. Cat had moved past hurling insults to hurling objects, while Mrs. Kim wept in the corner about ungrateful sons and how her poor heart couldn't handle all this stress.  

"Are you ready to go?" Mrs. Oh asked.

"Not really.  But I have be, right?"  Luhan zipped up his luggage.  Mrs. Oh hesitated.

"We could always push it back.  If you'd like to meet with Dr. Zhang one more time..."

"No, it's okay. I want to go forward.  I don’t want to stay stuck in the same place forever...and I won't know until I try, right?”

Mrs. Oh stared at him, before tears welled up in her eyes.  "I'm so proud of you—“

“Ugh, Mom, come on...” Luhan rolled his eyes as his mother hugged him.

“You're my son, and you're so strong."

"I don't think so." Luhan muttered.  The rest of his words were drowned in his mother's fierce embrace. He sighed.   "I'm kind of scared," he admitted.

"It's all right.  Just take it one step at a time."

"It's a pretty huge step though."

"I know.  But I know you can do it."

Sehun chose that moment to walk into the living room, and he too started to sniffle at the sight of Mrs. Oh crying.  Luhan had to struggle to remain cool and collected as his little brother and mother hugged him and patted his hair and cried about how they would miss him.  He reminded himself to stay strong.

For, uh, the second time in his life--

"Are you crying?"

Shut up.  For the--

"My teacher says it's okay to cry."

Are you going to let me finish the story or not?

"Can I hug you?"

...yeahwhateversure.  Just keep your seatbelt on.  Um, okay.  Anyway.  For the second time in his life, Suho found himself fleeing the Kim mansion with nothing more than a duffel bag.  This time, he managed to remember to bring toiletries and money.  

"Are you sure about this?" Kris asked.  "You'd give up your lifestyle, and everything?"

"It wasn't much of a life," Suho replied resolutely.  "Besides, I'm sure my parents will come around eventually."

"They should.  They love you."

"Either way, I'm my own man.  I don't need anyone’s approval for whom I marry."  He looked Kris in the eye.  "Whom I love."

Kris stared back at him.  Then, wordlessly, he dropped to one knee and reached into his pocket.

“Suho Kim,” Kris declared as Suho’s mouth literally fell open.  “I fell in love with you before I even really knew what love was. All my life, I've been chasing after you, but you always seemed to be one step ahead, just out of reach. Now that I have you, don't want to lose you again. I know I still have a long way to go. I know I’m not as rich or educated as some other guys, and I can't give you a secure life—“

“I don’t care about any of that,” Suho interrupted, tears already leaking.  “I never have.  I only want you.”

“Oh.  Well, that’s good, because I want you too.”  Speech forgotten, Kris pulled Suho down on top of him.  Their lips met.  Their mouths collided.  Their tongues clashed kind of like the swords of two warriors...except, you know, less blood and more saliva.

"Hey guys, we found a sweet car--oh, seriously?"  Tao poked his head out of the driver's window. "There's an entire army of guards about to chase after us, in case you hadn't noticed!"

Thirty seconds later, they drove off at what was definitely way above the speed limit.  Kris and Suho were still...battling...in the backseat. 

"Faster!" Chanyeol cried.  “They’ve surrounded us.”

Indeed, black cars and motorbikes flanked their car from all directions. Tao gritted his teeth and stepped on the accelerator, maneuvering his way through the streets.  He turned into an alleyway, only to be blocked off by three motorbikes.  Behind them, another two motorbikes cut off their exit.

"There are too many of them!"

"What do we do?” Suho fretted.

Tao, Kris, and Chanyeol exchanged looks through the rearview mirror, and spoke at once.

"Fight them."

Kris gave Suho one last kiss and pulled on his mask. The world might be full of danger and deceit, but Kris wasn’t the same helpless, lost orphan from before.  With his family and one true love beside him, he knew he could face anything the world had to throw at him.

Kris reached for his blade, ready for the next adventure in his life…

 THE END 

"They've opened the gate.  You can check in over there."

"Okay. Thanks, Mom."

"But what happened next?" Sehun protested. Luhan batted his hands away as he checked his bags one last time.

"Well, you know. I'm sure they were fine."

"No! I don’t know!  So did Suho's parents let them get married?  Where's the wedding?  Did Kris quit the Moxe?  Do Kris and Tao hang out and ride planes together? Do Suho and Kris have babies?"

"Um...I don't know."

"You don't KNOW?"

"Well, sometimes, life doesn't give you the answers all at once.  You have to figure it out as you go."

"WHO CARES ABOUT LIFE!  It's just a STORY!"

"Sehun," Mrs. Oh admonished gently.  "Indoor voice."

"B-But I need to know everything that happens next...!  I want to make sure they're all okay!  Luhan, please!"  Sehun screeched. "You can't leave! Don't leave me!" Several people turned to shoot them looks, and Luhan gently extricated his brother from clawing at his coat.

“Of course they'll be okay.  You’ll just have to find the rest out on your own.”  Ignoring his brother’s furious expression, Luhan ped one of his bags.  He pulled out a book and handed it to Sehun.  Sehun scowled and folded his arms.  It was one of those picture-less books.  Even worse—the cover was blank and colorless.

"I don’t want a book!”

“You sure about that?  Read the first sentence.” Luhan shoved the first page under Sehun's nose.  With a sigh, Sehun complied.

“I-if you wanted to find the most perfect guy in Wonland….wait!” Sehun stared up at Luhan.  “It’s the story!”

“That’s right.”

Suddenly, the book seemed ten times more interesting.  Sehun stared down at the plain black and white pages, pages that would take him to another world.

“When I come back, I expect you to be able to read it all on your own.  Do you think you can do that?”

Sehun mumbled something unintelligible into Luhan's chest.

“If you don’t know any words, you can borrow my electronic dictionary. It’s in my room, on the desk.  You can go in my room whenever you want.”

Sehun sighed. Luhan bent down so that he was face-to-face with his brother.

“Remember what Kris said?  True love will always come back for you?”

Sehun sniffed.

Luhan put an arm around him and pulled him closer to whisper. "I’ll be back, just like Kris.  I promise.”

“You’d better.”

“You’re not sick anymore, right?” Kai asked, regarding his friend suspiciously.   He placed his shoes carefully next to Sehun's on the mat, before stepping into the living room.  “I don’t wanna get your chicken germs all over me.”

“Nope."  Sehun replied. "I’m all better, now.”

“That's good.  Why did you get the chicken disease, anyway? My brother told me it was because you ate too much chicken. Is that true?” Kai looked anxious. Chicken was a staple in his diet.

“Of course not! That’s stupid!”

“...Oh.” Kai looked embarrassed.

“Brothers...”  Sehun sighed in sympathy.  "Once, Luhan told me if I drank bubble tea I would poop bubbles."

“That's gross."

"Yeah."

"Wait...Luhan's not here anymore, right?"

Sehun nodded.

"But he'll be back?"

Sehun nodded again.

“Cool.” Kai set down his backpack.  “Do you want to play Kung Fu Robbers today?  I found an awesome new hideout last week when you were sick.  I didn't tell anyone about it yet, so we can be the first explorers!”

"Um...maybe tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? But--" Kai suddenly seemed to realize that his friend was in a quieter mood than usual.  Instantly, he sat down on the couch and snuggled up next to Sehun like he did with his puppies back home.  "What do you want to do then?  Do you want to watch TV? There's a new Exo episode this afternoon."

"How about..." Sehun hesitated. "How about a story?"

"What kind of a story?"

"Here."  Sehun dug the book out from his backpack and turned to the first page.  "It's a story with adventures and fighting and bad guys and not that much kissing..."