It seems like yesterdays are just dreams of my heart

That all are just pictures created by my mind

I do not know how to grasp all of this

Now that everything suddenly changes

Not that the number has decreased

But seeing all your worries and sadness

I am afraid I will never have the chance to see the smiles

So the pain I kept hidden away

And made sure I smile everyday

For you to be happy, for me to be happy

But the number has decreased again

I thought... we are one

The pain increased

Even it is already said

That the awareness of the decreasing number is inevitable

But I will never be ready

The only way to keep the pain at bay

Is drown myself with anything from anywhere with someone

But...

That someone... that someone

The number has decreased again

The pain increased again

My heart will bursts, my mind can not stop

My soul is filled with fear

That somebody...

That the number will decrease again

Every day is a struggle to overcome that fear

Every day... I just live for a day

I tried to live for a day

Never thinking what will happen in the future

And that help me keep the pain inside

I learned to treasure each moments made every single day with them

Every little thoughtful action with everybody

I want to be strong for everybody

I want... I want to them to know... to feel

That I love them with my whole heart

That I think of them everyday

Then at least...

When everything just seems so tiring for them

At least, I want them to think

That I, their maknae... am enough for them to stay for a little longer

To spend time together for a long, long time

And the pain will always be hidden away.

 

 

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

An impromptu chapter. Even though everything already happened, I just want to start the chapter from the very start of the 'change'.

Inspired by an information that Sehunnie cried when the filming of his movie has finally ended. 

It's just... it is his greatest fear, being left behind by the people who were once beside him.

Even though that's not the case with the movie's casts and staffs, but he cried.

Imagine how he feel everyday not seeing what he dreamt to see when they just started.

He kept a strong and happy facade.

But we all know, the hurt... the pain is still residing in his heart, mind and soul.

 

just me crying my unshed tears here. -.-

jhanjhan