Love. What is love?

Love has always been one of the key elements in dramas. It usually starts between enemies or childhood friends that remain in denial until they finally profess their love to each other ten episodes after. Then, their love is challenged, having to go through hell in the form of evil mothers and clingy second leads. After many, many, many episodes of crying and fighting, the two main leads are finally reunited.

That was what Sungjong learned about love. Sweetness complemented with lots of tears, hair-pulling and water-dumping. From what he saw, loving someone certainly seemed to be a hard and grueling process and in some cases, it wasn’t always reciprocated. So why would humans want to love and be loved? 

Humans are strange he decided.

However, Sungjong did not completely reject the idea of falling in love. In fact, he wanted to experience the joy of it. Every time he saw couples on the streets, he didn’t see all the scary scenes he saw in dramas. He saw only the happy moments. Holding hands, whispering into each other’s ears, pecking each other on the lips.

He sighed. Sungjong didn’t understand what his current relationship with Myungsoo was. They would cuddle on the couch while watching dramas together. Sometimes, Sungjong would be lying on Myungsoo’s lap who combed his fingers through Sungjong’s hair until the boy eventually fell asleep. Their sleeping habits were not completely innocent either. They would each occupy their own side of the bed at first but would wake up entangled in each other’s arms in the morning. Now that Sungjong thought about it, he and Myungsoo were doing things that couples did.

However, Myungsoo was only intimate at home. He would never touch him affectionately in public, not even holding hands. That was until Myungsoo suddenly kissed him that day in the park. What could that kiss mean to Myungsoo? Does he really love me? The more Sungjong thought about it, the more he was confused. These thoughts remained stuck in his head until he finally fell asleep, exhausted.

Myungsoo stepped into the shower, turning the knob to the hottest setting. He placed his hands on the wall and closed his eyes. Hot water slid down his face, down to his back and legs. Steam started to form, covering the mirror with a layer of fog.

He sighed deeply. He had been sighing too much lately. But he couldn’t help but sigh every time he thought back to what he did the other day. You did it. You finally did it, Kim Myungsoo. You crazy fool who has no self-control. he thought bitterly.

He was trying so hard to ignore his feelings, to suppress them. He was doing so well until he saw Sungjong all disheveled after tumbling down the grassy slope. And even though the boy was covered in dirt and weeds, he still looked beautiful. Sungjong always looks perfect.

When Sungjong is laughing and giggling while trying to protect his own face from the puppy’s . When Sungjong twirls around in the fields of lavender and tries to make Myungsoo dance with him. When Sungjong is asleep on Myungsoo’s arm or chest. His hair falling to one side of his face. His lips parted slightly as small puffs of air went in and out.

Myungsoo even loved the not-so-pretty sides of him. When Sungjong is being stubborn and refused to listen to him. His arms crossed and cheeks puffed up into a pout. When Sungjong’s face is covered in spaghetti sauce, him being completely oblivious to it and continued to slurp up his food. When Sungjong decides to take over the couch with his body lying sideways, his legs on top of Myungsoo’s.

Catching himself thinking about Sungjong, Myungsoo snapped his eyes open. He turned the knob to coldest temperature this time as if to clear his head that was filled with endless images of Sungjong. He’s only a friend, only a friend he chanted to himself like a mantra.

“Ugh. Who am I kidding…I love him.” Myungsoo finally admitted. He exited the shower. After changing into his pajamas, he walked towards his bedroom. He saw Sungjong already fast asleep and quietly closed the door, being careful not to wake him up.

Myungsoo kneeled next to the bed and observed Sungjong’s sleeping face. He tucked a random strand of hair behind his ear before trailing his fingers along his jawline. Even if I confess to him, will he understand? he thought before slipping under the covers, pulling it over their shoulders and drifted off into sleep.

--

Sungjong woke up in the middle of the night when he heard what sounded like someone hacking their lungs out. Sitting upright, he listened carefully but couldn’t hear it anymore. He laid back down and turned to his side, hoping he could use Myungsoo as a body pillow. But Myungsoo’s spot was empty. Maybe he went to pee he thought, not thinking too much about it. When Myungsoo didn’t return for a long time, he started to feel concerned.

He walked towards the bathroom in small, light steps. His eyes shifted back and forth as he tried to adjust to the darkness. Reaching the bathroom, Sungjong knocked lightly on it.

“Myungsoo? Are  you in there?” he called softly but only silence greeted him back. Sungjong tried twisting the doorknob but it was locked. He pressed his ear against the door and heard retching followed by a series of violent coughs.

“Myungsoo! Are you ok? Open the door!” he tried again. After a few minutes, the lock clicked. The door slowly opened with a creak. Sungjong carefully pushed it open and immediately gasped at the sight.

Strips of toilet paper were thrown carelessly around the tiled floor. There were spots of blood and vomit everywhere. A pungent smell came out from the toilet bowl, into the air, and entered directly into Sungjong’s nostrils. He slapped a hand across his face. His eyebrows furrowed and his lips curled downward in disgust.

Suddenly, Sungjong heard a small voice calling out to him. “S-Sungjong…hel-help me…” Sungjong looked down and saw Myungsoo, pale as death. He was sitting on the floor and clutching onto the toilet seat. His hair was matted with sweat. His half-lidded unfocused eyes met Sungjong’s that widened in shock.

Myungsoo weakly reached out a hand towards Sungjong but before Sungjong could grab onto it, Myungsoo's eyes rolled up towards the back of his head and he collapsed to the side. Sungjong got down on his knees, placing Myungsoo’s head on his lap. “Myungsoo! Myungsoo!” He patted the side of his cheeks and shook his shoulders but Myungsoo remained unconscious. Tears built up and overflowed onto his cheeks. Sungjong panicked, not knowing what to do.

He dragged Myungsoo onto the couch. Running as fast as he could towards their bedroom, he searched for Myungsoo’s phone. Sungjong only met Howon and Dongwoo but Myungsoo didn’t have neither of their phone numbers so he pressed the first one on the list. He waited nervously as the line connected, whispering please pick up, please pick up! repeatedly until a groggy voice finally answered.

“Please! Please help Myungsoo!”

--

Myungsoo slowly opened his eyes but immediately closed them again against the blinding white light shining above his face. He tried again, blinking to adjust to the sudden brightness. Looking down, he saw an IV drip attached to his arm. But what caught Myungsoo’s attention was Sungjong’s hand that gripped his tightly. The boy’s head was down and his body was shaking slightly as tears dripped down onto the sheets of the hospital bed.

“Sungjongie” he called out softly, placing his other hand on top of Sungjong’s trembling ones. Upon hearing Myungsoo call his name, Sungjong’s head shot up. He pounced onto Myungsoo, grabbing onto his shoulders as he buried his face in his chest.

“Myungsoo! You scared me so much! Are you ok?!” he cried into Myungsoo’s chest. Sungjong was so relieved to see Myungsoo awake that he couldn’t stop crying. His sobs made his words incoherent as he babbled on, still clutching onto Myungsoo. Myungsoo rested his hand on top of Sungjong’s head and smoothed his hair in an attempt to comfort him.

“Don’t cry, Jongie. I’m ok. Look at me.” Myungsoo lifted Sungjong’s chin. Seeing Sungjong’s teary face pulled at his heartstrings. His lips were about to touch Sungjong’s when a loud voice interrupted their sentimental moment.

“KIM MYUNGSOO!”

Both of them looked towards the source of the loud voice and found Sungyeol panting by the doorway. The tall friend stalked angrily towards them, ignoring the stares of other patients in the room. Myungsoo closed his eyes and braced himself for the punch but the pain never came. Instead, he was wrapped in the arms of a hug so tight he could feel his ribs crack.

“You idiot! You dare disappear from me and this is how I find you?!” Myungsoo looked towards Sungjong, who momentarily stepped aside to let the two friends embrace. Sungyeol pulled away from the hug. He clasped his hands on either side of Myungsoo’s face, turning it left and right.

“Are you ok? I told you to take care of yourself! You never listen to me, you jerk. Now look what happened.” Sungyeol’s tousled hair stuck out at odd angles, his shirt was inside out and his feet were bare. Seeing his friend in this state, Myungsoo was overcome with guilt. He grabbed Sungyeol into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry, Sungyeol.”

The doctor entered the room, holding a clipboard. He cleared his throat, breaking the moment between the three people awkwardly. “Well, it’s a good thing that Myungsoo-shi was brought to the hospital quickly or else his life would’ve been in danger.” But before he could update them about Myungsoo’s health, Myungsoo asked, “Sungyeol, Sungjong. Could you guys wait outside? I want to speak with the doctor privately.”

“I want to stay here with you, Myungsoo” Sungjong looked at Myungsoo expectantly but he was ushered out of the room by Sungyeol.

“Come on. Let’s go.”

An hour later, Sungjong came back into the hospital room, taking the seat next to Myungsoo’s bed.

“Where’s Sungyeol?”

“Outside. In the waiting area. He fell asleep.”

Sungjong rested his head against one arm. His other free hand laced with Myungsoo’s. They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. Sungjong squealed when Myungsoo suddenly pinched his nose.

“Look at you. Your eyes are all red, you crybaby.”

“You made me this way” Sungjong joked but his tightening grip contrasted with his words. To be honest, he was still distressed about what happened. As if reading his thoughts, Myungsoo rubbed his fingers comfortingly.

“Stay here with me tonight.”

“I’ll stay as long as you want me to”. 

----author's note-----

hello my friends~ hope you enjoy the new chapter! <333

the side story kind of messed up the chapter numbers haha!