When Kibum met Jinki, he was 17 and already 5 months pregnant. He was a runaway, seeking refuge from a broken home and the man who had robbed him of his future. Kibum was at the peak of vulnerability and haunted by emotional instability. Yet Jinki was able penetrate beyond his facade of a hard exterior and offer him a job in his internet cafe and a room in his home.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Kibum would often asked as he advanced in his pregnancy .

He would receive a look punctuated by dancing black orbs and a chuckle like the sound of gentle bells ringing

"Don't question it."

At times, the teenager grew angry at the thought of Jinki pitying him. He grew mad, tears burned and pricked at his eyes and fists clenched. However, it would diffuse at the comforting thought that he was indeed his saviour. Jinki was the first to exhibit compassion without anticipating anything in return.

The baby came as expected. Jinki appeared to be more enthusiastic than Kibum himself for he was worried about finding a new place to stay and the responsibility of keeping another human being alive.

"She's precious." Jinki said, wiping a wet cloth across Kibum's head. "Like you."

Jinki was careless with words because when he said things like that it planted a scenario or idea in Kibum's head of a potentially happy family wherein Jinki provided both him and his daughter with the affection and support he so desperately craved and needed.

Jinki was all he needed. Jinki was who he lived for or so he thought until summer came about , Kibum returned as supervisor at the internet cafe and new employees turned up for holiday employment. Fresh faces and young hearts were giddy with excitement to begin their work experience and earn some extra cash.

" If you're not ready to go back, I understand." Jinki had said to Kibum one day during dinner.

"No it's fine. Plus I need to get out of the house."

"OK I know a nursery that will take great care of her."

Kibum was eager to leave the house and return to being preoccupied instead of staying confined to a house, taking care of a child forced upon him and to whom he secretly held resentment though Jinki should ever know Kibum was sure the other would detest him at the discovery. The thought of Jinki ever disliking him a little less set off a headache.

"Taemin."

"Yes, Kibum hyung ?"

The younger teen came running at the call of his name. With cheeks tainted red and glistening black beads for eyes, Taemin was the most obedient worker Jinki had taken on that summer and the one that gave Kibum the least amount of talking.

"How old are you?"

"I just turned 17 yesterday, Kibum hyung."

The boy was respectful, pleasant and sweet much to Kibum's annoyance but to Jinki's liking. It was such a bother. Taemin was such a bother not with regards to helping out in the internet cafe but to Kibum's insecurities which were flaring and Taemin was the reason.

Kibum arrived home to find Jinki playing with the four month old girl. The scene brought a flicker of joy in his eyes for the idea of a family seemed so promising when he saw how easy Jinki held his daughter or the way he looked at him, the magnitude of love he had for them both, the intensity of the seemingly undending affection radiating from his very being. But Jinki never adopted her, never made the decision . Oh kibum had wished he had!

"Taemin's coming over." Jinki smiled, handing over the baby to Kibum. "Do I look to dressy?"

Jinki was wearing a nice T-shirt and a pair of jeans making him look more delectable than usual. If Jinki were a salad, Kibum would toss him all day everyday.

"You look perfect. You always look perfect."

"Thanks, Kibum ." Jinki's smile was warm as the evening sun and his personality a perfect blend of all the colours sitting atop the ocean at dusk.

"I've been feeling insecure lately because I'm 21 and still single, dating is futile and my dog back home died. "

Kibum heart squeezed at those words because he.. would run into Jinki's arms in a heartbeat. Jinki liked Taemin, young fresh and innocent. And not a tainted, damaged vessel,   taking care of a baby, like himself. Kibum had baggage and Taemin didnt.

"Ok enjoy your rest." The 18 year old went to his room placed the baby aside and cried.

Summer ended and so did Taemin's brief employment. Yet it the was beginning of a relationship between Jinki and Taemin or so it seemed.

When Kibum confronted Jinki about it he laughed himself into a fit.

"I like him but he's too young."

"And me?"

"And you?" Kibum asked, heart rate increasing.

"I don't stand a chance."

Kibum wanted to know what that meant. He wanted to press further if only Jinki wasn't drunk. If only  his thinking wasn't hampered by the influence of alcohol. If only his feelings for someone who was not him, was not so obvious and hurtful.

Kibum was in love with Jinki. He was certain that he loved him more than anything. He wasn't sure if he loved his daughter , fathered by his own uncle. He was planning of dropping her of by a home once he'd given birth but Jinki intercepted and his course changed.

"I'm a little in love with you." Jinki confessed one night.

"What?"

Jinki looked at him for while with glossy , unfocused eyes. They lacked their usual sparkle and evidence of vivacity.

"It doesn't matter." Jinki muttered

"What are you saying?"

"Taemin told me he liked someone else. I was a fool to ask him who." Jinki shook his head and handed the paper to Kibum who took it with shaky fingers.

I'm a little in love with you , it read. Tears pricked at Kibum's eyes when he realized it wasn't Jinki's words.

"I don't like Taemin like that."

Jinki sighed in defeat and his shoulders slumped in exasperation.

"I saw the way you looked at him during his tenure, Kibum."

Kibum's mouth fell open in shock. Those looks the other noticed were actually looks of scrutiny, glares fuelled by jealousy.

"I do not!" Kibum slammed his fist on the table, startling them both.

"I'm sorry." Jinki said. "I'm being a brat." He said gathering their plates with a sad face. "I'll wash up."

"No Jinki..I'm-"

"No worries."

"No Jinki." Just then the baby cried.

"You should get her." Jinki suggested while keeping his eyes fixed on the dirty dishes. Kibum stood rooted in his stance for a few seconds and so did Jinki. However, the baby cries were persistent leaving the younger no choice but to tend to her.

Kibum fed her a bottle and stopped her protest with a pacifier. He was scared. He'd never seen Jinki so out of his element, so not composed and the thought of making the other even more aggravated was devastating and in that moment all he could do was curl in on himself and cry. Jinki had never been so dismissive before, so curt and the thought of someone as fickle as Taemin who was able bring about such a change in him only made Kibum's eyes greener.

Kibum didn't asked for any of this. A year ago his life seemed promising before his until morphed into a demon and before his solid trust in family dissolved entirely.

The following week Kibum decided to meet up officially with Taemin. The wooing and secret admiring would be fantastic and exciting given that the admirer was Jinki but Taemin was persistent. It irked Kibum to no end. Not to mention that Jinki believed that something was now going on between them.

"Hi Kibum, hyung."

Taemin was red in the face and fidgeting in his chair. It would seem cute to someelse but it only sparked questions in Kibum's head as to what hr lacks in comparison to the 17 year old and of course he would come up with endless reasons.

"Taemin." Kibum face lacked a smile. "I... can't return your feelings. I don't like you in the same fashion. Your gestures are quite flamboyant. I find them troublesome."

Kibum finally looked up to see Taemin's bottom lip quivering as he digested what was said.

"K-Kibum hyung." Taemin began. "I like you a lot , from the first week of working at the cafe, you were so nice to me."

"I'm nice to everyone but that equate to me liking you."

Taemin reached for his hand across the table. The contact caught Kibum off guard and the memory of Jinki reaching out to his in the same manner when he had a breakdown during his 8 month of pregnancy. As a result Kibum had a delayed response in withdrawing his hand .

"I'm sorry." Taemin offered at the alarmed looks on the others face.

"It's OK." Kibum took a shaky breath. "I'm at a moment in my life where I can't deal with this now. I can't handle anything."

"Oh." Taemin's eyes fell. "I even tried getting close to Jinki sunbae so that I could learn more about you."

Kibum's ears perked up at that said. "What?!" So Taemin tried to woo Jinki, but really he was just playing in order to get closer to Kibum? And in the midst of his careless doings Jinki happened to develop genuine feelings whilst Taemin was behaving on selfish terms? This made Kibum livi and all he could muster was a scoff before storming off.

Kibum found it impossible to forgot what Taemin said. It was typical of immature teenagers but how much shallower does one get? His affection for Jinki was only getting stronger and the fact that Taemin was cruel only made him want to finally confess and offer Jinki an inkling of comfort. And Jinki just happened to be home early that evening.

"Jinki!"

"I know so there's no need to tell."

The smile fell from Kibum's face in an instant.

"I saw you guys today at the coffee shop, holding hands across the table. It was sweet, actually. I'm... happy that Taemin is with the person he likes. He would have been miserable with me."

"Wait no, you don't get it."

"You don't need to explain your personal life to me, Kibum."

"But you're missing the point!" He grabbed his hair in frustration at Jinki repeatedly interrupting and dismissing him.

"I don't think so." Jinki heaved a sigh and combed his fingers through his hair. " that's the last time I try to go for younger guys and end up heart broken." He chuckled and ruffled Kibum's hair. "I'll take a nap now. See you tomorrow."

What could he do as Jinki walked away, hold him back and pour out his heart only to be rejected. Jinki already made his position clear, that he was no longer interested in younger dates and Kibum was only a year above Taemin in age.. And at the slam of Jinkis door , the baby erupted in a cry.

(does thou notice the taekey ?)