My teacher; My crush.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Donghae's Point of View.

"Good afternoon.

"Good afternoon Sir." All of us replied in unison. After that we get all the things needed for this subject. Just a notebook and a pen. Nothing more. It's Advanced Caculus, a Mathematics subject. So we just need to listen and jut down all the things our prof taught us.

Well, actually it's been a while since this semester has started, if I am not mistaken it's been a month. And look at my notebook. It supposed to be filled by theorems, proofs, formulas, solutions and all about this subject but then there is no trace of those in my notebook. Not a little bit.

But if we can consider the name of our professor then I can say that my notebook is full of it. From different fonts, sizes, colors and shades. Moreover, there is a lot of hearts and quotations in it.

I guess, this is more a confession notebook than an ordinary mathematics notebook.

Yes, you read it right.

I have this urge and strange feeling towards this specific professor. I mean, my feelings for him is different which I have never felt to any of professors that I had before.

I don't know if this feeling is love or crush or just a phase.

To say that I have never been in a love relationship since mother brought me out to this world.

Okay okay!

I had once in High School. But I can't count it as one. Because I know its just a fling. A mutual understanding. But we didn't reach the limit where I can say that I can't live without him. I think I was just curious about being in love and so I tried but I miserably failed.

That's ridiculous. Being curious like that and being a fool of trying without a foundation.

But now is different.

This feelings of mine makes me overwhelmed whenever I see his face. Or just hear his voice. It makes me feel weird inside my stomach. And sometimes, I feel like throwing up. Not throwing up you think okay. Its just that I feel it whenever I feel so nervous and anxious.

"Let's consider this Theorem."

Our professor has started to write in the board and when that happened he would not stop not until the bell rings.

He is like that.

Being so determined and devoted in teaching. Not a single second will be wasted when he is the one teaching us. Unlike our other professors that just leave us with some bunch of nonsense works and just sit in front while eating or sometimes spending it with their phones. Like what the hell.

Though, I admit. I like it more when our professor is like that. Being so lazy as . Because I am a big bum lazy too. I rather do some stuffs than listening to their nonsense teaching.

You know, self studying is rather acceptable than being tortured to listen to their rubbish and obviously forceful teaching. Well of course this one is an exception.

"This Theorem is also known as Bolzano-Weistrass Theorem."

I can't avert my eyes off him.

I feel hot in my face whenever his sight will be on mine even if its just a second. I can't help but be flushed. Just a mini second of our eyes being in contact makes me like this.

Just like that.

And I am in heaven already.

"This Theorem states that every bounded set there exists a subseqeunce in it that is convergent."

Even though this subject seems boring I never missed it. Although I am not into Math ever since I was born. And also this is my very first time being into Math teacher.

Convergent.

As far as I understood. If the set is convergent then it has a limit.

Limit.

That's what my professor and I have.

Like I care.

"Here's the proof."

Proof.

Supposed I can list down these feelings of mine for you Mr. Lee.

Can you accept it as a proof?

"Therefore, subsequence of Xn converged to some point in R. We are done."

Sir, do you know what is the most painful words I have ever heard from you?

We have not been together Mr. Lee yet you say that we are done already! How cruel.

I don't know what I see to you.

Yes, you are handsome and hot. You are cool and confident. Your smile and laugh are admirably cute and your dazzling eyes that seem could read minds. Moreover your body built and your shining blonde hair.

But most of all. Your behavior.

I bet, there are alot of guys and girls that also laid an eye on you. As badly as I want you to be mine only, I can't. Who am I to do that. You are not even know who I am. Or if you know me, I know its because of my failing grades. Such ashamed.

Its so easy to fall by your failing grades.

But why can't you fall for me too?

"Let's move on to the next."

If I just can do that Sir I have done it already. But moving on is much easier to say than done.

Can't get you out from my mind.

"Let consider a function which is continuous on R. The set of accumulation points is the set where all the limits of all set in R is in. Set of accumulation points completed the set."

Mr. Lee, I could tell that you are the set of my accumulation points.

Because you completed me.

My friends know my feelings for our professor. They even tried to tease me. But as long as Mr. Lee won't find out its fine. 

If he finds out about this I don't know what to do with my life anymore.

Oh! His name is Lee Hyukjae.

Lee Hyukjae.

What a beautiful name. Like its owner.

My notebook is full of it. If you just can see it you will be freaked out. My friends don't so because they are aware of this from the very start and they are used to it anyway so its okay for them.

That's why I love my friends so much. They understand me more than myself.

Though ever since there is no a day that they not tease me.

"Pssshh."

I stop from doodling on my confession notebook when my friend Heechul whispered. I look at him and give him a look 'what-im-busy-writing-here-you-know' but I felt my cheeks burn when he whispered again.

"I have counted it. And Mr. Lee looked at you more than usual today."

!

Heechul knows my weakness!

Oh !

I bite my inner cheek and snap my eyes away from Heechul. Damn. This is so embarrassing!

"Shut up will you? Stop teasing me." I whispered back. Making sure that no one will hear it.

Heechul tittered.

I frown. As expected. He was just teasing me. No way in hell Mr. Lee will look at me.

"Stop blushing."

"I am not blushing."

I grit my teeth together. Heechul is so damn teaser. Sometimes I wonder why I have a friend like him.

"Okay. Heechul-shii and Donghae-shii what are you whispering about?"

I gulp.

I can't feel my sweat forming on my neck as my eyes getting big.

No. Don't dare to answer Heechul! But my friend did otherwise.

"We are talking about you."

!

Heechul is the most straightforward person I have ever met in my life. And this is not the first time he had done something like this. Though, this is the worst.

"Ahmmm. No! Sir. Let me explain." I instinctively stand up and face Mr. Lee. I know I might looked so troubled but I can't just let Heechul exposed my secret! Or else I am gonna die from embarrassment. I couldn't take that!

"Okay explain it then." Mr. Lee looks so serious and it doesn't help me at all.

His hot gaze melts me.

! My knees I could feel they will break so soon.

Damn. Why I am being like this right now. I have to give a valid excuse or else I can't face Mr. Lee anymore.

"Ahmm. Mr. Lee. I and.. hmmm Heechul ahhhmm.."

Okay. I can't take this anymore! I am doomed! My mind is in a big chaos! I can't think of anything else! Why it has to be now? What to do!?

But I have to say someth