Mijin took in a breath before finally stepping out of the car. She wore a dark hoodie and her hair was let down, making her tear-stained face less visible. She inhaled once more and forced a smile, just for a while, she thought. She walked into the open restaurant as naturally as she could, not wanting anyone to take notice of her current condition. 

   The family gathering situated in Mijin's uncle's open restaurant in Jeollado was to celebrate an aunt's birthday. The tables were already set, there were little decorations, but the feast made the gathering more festive. The complete opposite of what Mijin was feeling. Mijin was tempted to run away when she saw her cousin, Heeyoung. Heeyoung sat at a sofa across the adults, their other cousins were busy playing around.

   Heeyoung saw Mijin from there. Mijin seemed as dull as usual, thought Heeyoung, but something seemed off. Mijin awkwardly sat next to Heeyoung, and all she could do was force a smile. Everything horrible decided to enter her mind just then and her tears were once again threatening to fall. Heeyoung knew Mijin would take a while to become verbose especially since Mijin seemed completely tired. But, this time, Mijin did not even attempt to talk. At first Heeyoung dismissed anything bad was happening, but then as she said one sentence; "I haven't seen you in like 2 months?"

   Tears suddenly started forming in Mijin's eyes. 

    Heeyoung was obviously alarmed, especially since although Mijin was not exactly the most brightest person ever, she always listened and smiled. Mijin was always calm and collected, and rarely showed any signs of uncomfortableness around her. Although she does get mad and often complains, but she complains in a rather playful way. Not to mention, this was the first time Heeyoung saw Mijin cry. So it is no wonder Heeyoung was completely worried. What on earth happened? thought Heeyoung.

    To be completely honest, Mijin did not know why she was crying. At that moment all she could think of was negative thoughts, and it was making herself frustrated.

    "What's wrong Jin-ah?" Heeyoung exclaimed worried. That was when the tears fell. The moment Mijin tried to talk, the tears just kept falling non stop. Her ability to talk stopped. Causing Heeyoung to worry termendously.

   Mijin forced a smile, and managed to shake her head, "Nothing," she managed to say. Luckily everyone was too busy to notice, causing Mijin to be grateful. 

    "What nothing, tell me what's wrong?" Heeyoung said. Mijin smiled, and shook her head. "Nothing~" she exclaimed as she tried to look composed but failing miserably. Tears were streaming, and Mijin did not know how to stop it. All that was in her head then was curses directed to herself. Why? Why now? I'm such a . I probably look like an idiot, crying for no apparent reason. Such an attention .. ugh.. I hate myself..

    "Tell me," Heeyoung said sternly. Mijin looked around and tried her best to make up an excuse. 

      Unable to tell Heeyoung the whole truth, afraid that her cries might ring across the whole neighbourhood, Mijin said, "I don't know," she smiled happily, but her tears were telling otherwise.

     "What are you saying, just tell me." Heeyoung stated. 

     In defeat, Mijin decided to tell her, "Everything," Mijin started, "just seems so hatable, and everything seems to hate me." Mijin said and smiled. Her tears did not stop flowing.

     "Like what?" Heeyoung said gently, "School? Exams? Friends?"

     I shook my head, "Just-- everything?" Mijin answered. She took a breath and tried her best to stop her tears from falling. She smiled, and continued, "It's just that, this happens a lot,"

    "When? Every year?" Heeyoung questioned.

    "Just.. alot, almost every month?" Mijin said truthfully.

    "Oh.. well this is pretty common with teenage girls," she started. Jimin felt an odd feeling of annoyance start to creep in.

    She felt that Heeyoung was slightly looking down on her. She was older that Heeyoung by a few months, and she knows well that she was not the only one who felt this.

    "I know," Mijin said despite her annoyance.

    "I usually just cry it out, that's the only medicine," Heeyoung said. But her tone seemed 'matter-of-factly' to Mijin then, annoyed, Mijin said with gritted teeth,"That's what I usually do too, but I'm here and you know how my mom is. I can't escape these gatherings without a reason."

    Mijin hurriedly realised that Heeyoung was just trying to help, so she calmed herself down. Finally the tears stopped completely, she wiped her remaining tears away and smiled as sincerely as possible.

   "You can cry as much as you want," Heeyoung smiled. Mijin shook her head, and said,"I'm fine now."

    Little did they know a boy was observing the whole event.

    Years passed, Mijin was lying down on her bed. She was in Seoul, in a humble apartment by herself. An apartment just a few blocks away from her university. A song was playing, Lee Hi's, Am I strange?

     The song reminded her of the time she broke down in front of Heeyoung, her cousin. The thoughts going through at the time came back. She remembered wondering at the time, whether the saying she was somehow really amazed by had any truth in them. The quote which sounded as, 'Treat people like how you would like people to treat you.'

     At the time, she was confused, and was wondering could the actions in movies and dramas could ever be relatable to her. Whether following that simple quote could make a difference in her life. She was determined to find happiness. To find a dream. To find those cheesy blessings in life.

     She smiled at people more than ever, hoping people could smile back at her. She praised people hoping to be praised. But after a while, she began to think, to realise that she was not special. She was merely a creepy person people would rather not have in their lives. She hated herself for thinking that way, but at the same time, she thought it was right.

    After her breakdown with Heeyoung, she thought she was fine. She thought after letting the pointless emotions out, the next day would be the start of rainbows and sunshine that will forever light up life. But no.

    The feeling of being hated came back just weeks after the sudden breakdown. Mijin's ability to force a smile started to disappear and at school her voice seemed to begone. One day, she walked through the halls with her emotionless face, she sat down at a bench to wait for her friends. Her negative thoughts came back.

   She heaved a sigh, closed her eyes and tried her best to calm down. She felt someone sit next to her. Her eyes instantaneously opened, and she turned her head slightly to see a senior sit next to her. She faced front again, and began to mind her own business when she heard him say, "Shin Mijin right?"

    Her eyes widened confused, how does he know my name?  She turned to face him awkwardly and said,"Uh.. yea."

     "Chanshik sunbae is simply curious, what's wrong?" the senior said as he turned towards her. He smiled, and looked her in the eyes.

    "Excuse me? Umm, nothing?" she exclaimed confused.

     "You are strange," he said as he faced forward. "That's a compliment by the way."

    He stood up, gave Mijin's shoulder a squeeze and said, "Bye cute hoobae." 

     The random event surprised Mijin. What was that all about? she thought. 

    "You're the strange one," Mijin murmured, as she felt her face blush. A feeling of confusion and happiness washed away all the negative thoughts that once filled her.

      Then she thought, thank you? Chanshik sunbae?

      Chanshik suddenly remembered the first time he saw Mijin. The strange girl who oddly seemed unamused most of the time. But then around her friends, she seemed like a mood-maker. The girl who makes lame jokes, and is a complete nerd. The girl who appears at the open restaurant just next to his house, frequently. But her personality there was different as well. She was polite to the elders, and stern to her younger siblings. The girl who smiled most of the time. The beautiful girl who was constantly by herself.

    The girl who somehow amused him enough to appear often in his mind. 

     He remembered sitting on a bench one day, and he heard someone singing a Spice Girls song, Wannabe. And without a doubt it was Mijin and her friends. He grinned amused as he secretly eyed her, Mijin then suddenly fell. She laughed it off and stood up like nothing happened, her face beet red. Then suddenly the next day, as he was buying dinner from the open restaurant, he saw Mijin enter. She had a hoodie over her head, and there was a dull aura emitting around her. 

    Stealthily Chanshik sat at a table nearby and he saw her cry. He saw all that happened and all he could think of was how amazing that strange girl was. Being able to smile despite all the negativity going through her mind. Despite the tears streaming. But at the same time he was worried, she was all smiles the day before.. what happened? he thought.

     Chanshik suddenly felt the urge to help her, to tell her, she's a cool girl. But the next day, Mijin seemed fine. She smiled and joked, she sang and played. She seemed perfectly fine. Additionally, the timing was never right, everytime he saw her she was with her friends. So then he thought, maybe she's better now.

        Til one day, as he was walking through the hallway, he saw Mijin and her friends. She was quiet this time. She walked at the end and smiled everytime one of her friends said anything, that was quite normal but this time.. her facial expressions seemed forced. She seemed sad, upset and empty. Chanshik hid behind a corner when he saw Mijin suddenly stop.

        "Sorry guys, I just remembered, I think my parents are picking me up today!" Mijin exclaimed. Unenthusiastically. Her tone seemed exhausted. She bid her friends goodbye waited til her friends were out of sight until she turned, and Chanshik could see her face more properly this time. He saw her smile which seemed upset, she sighed and murmurred. But her words were inaudible to him. Then he realised, she was sad again. She was not going to tell anyone, she was just going to smile and pretend everything is all right. 

          He saw her sit on a bench, and after observing for a while he approached and sat next to her. 

          Everything he did then, was done on an impulse. But he did not regret it, he thought it was completely apt. 

          The moment he left was when he realised, ah... I do like her...

    Chanshik smiled remembering those moments, he finally arrived at his destination. He knocked lightly.

    The door opened slightly, the beautiful face of the strange girl Mijin appeared. "Mr. Stalker!" she exclaimed with a grin. 

    "Hey," Chanshik exclaimed playfully upset.

    "I was just thinking about our first meeting," Mijin voiced quietly as she smiled.

    "Well, I was just thinking of when I first saw you," Chanshik grinned as he took Mijin's hand in his.

    "Ah, your stalker days?" Mijin grinned. "You beautiful bastard you," Mijin exclaimed smiling.

     "You beautiful princess you," Chanshik grinned and whispered, "I like you," and proceeded to kiss her forehead.