Taekwoon’s sure he’s dreaming. He’s in typical Dauntless attire, weapon in hand and there’s blood, so much blood it’s dizzying.

There’s a body lying a few feet away, blood seeping from various places and it makes him edge nearer. Every nerve is screaming for him to run but the other half, the stupid, reckless, Dauntless half wants him to check if the other is really dead.

The corpse’s hair is black, messy bangs covering eyes that were once full of life. Taekwoon takes a deep breath, eyes taking in the familiar tanned skin, the small frame, and then he sees the person’s face. There’s screaming, and it grates his ears  and it only dawns on him much later that he’s the one screaming.

Taekwoon bolts upright, his own harsh breathing the only sound he can hear at the moment. It’s that dream again, the one where he’s killed Hakyeon, the elder’s blood on his hands and it makes him sick, makes him feel as if he really had staked Cha Hakyeon’s heart.

That’s not the case of course, but it might as well be. Taekwoon hasn’t heard from Hakyeon at all, not since the day they Chose their new factions.

Jung Taekwoon is Dauntless, he always has been, and while his face always remains stoic, he’s proud of how far he’s come, of what he’s been able to accomplish. But even with all of these, he knows that no amount of work or such would be able to erase the guilt related to Cha Hakyeon.

He knows he could have done something, he knows that the elder didn't belong in Dauntless but he transferred: because he wanted to protect Taekwoon. Taekwoon doesn't need protecting of course, but some part of him (the selfish part, he’s definitely no Abnegation) was glad Hakyeon switched. So he could protect Hakyeon too.

He knows he screwed that part up pretty quickly, letting his petty emotions get the better of him. He knew that Hakyeon was terrified of heights, would grow paralyzed from fear as he stared down the building they were on top of and the oncoming trains.

He knows that if he hadn’t left Hakyeon behind, maybe they’d be making the rounds of Dauntless together. Hakyeon, coward that he sometimes might have been, had a knack for working hard enough to pass anything and excel in it.

Because as much as he’d hate to admit it, Cha Hakyeon was, is, his best friend.

And now, because of a stupid mistake, he was gone.