He doesn’t like it when I come to his room asking to sleep with him, he always looks annoyed but he just leaves it be. I love to sleep with him, because when I feel his warm body I can sleep peacefully, and because he since he is my boyfriend he is supposed to enjoy sleeping with me, so why he always seems so annoyed.

“hyukkie?”

“yes” he answered with his eyes glued on the TV.

“do you really get annoyed with me when I sleep with you?”

“What brought this up?” he asked while looking at me.

“I just wanted to know.”

“well it is not like you would stop begging me if I say I don’t like it when you want to share my bed with you.” he said mockingly.

“so you really hate it.” Donghae felt his heart chattering.

In the other hand hyukjae didn’t seem to notice the hurt in his boyfriend eyes so he just shrugged it off and watched TV again.

Donghae felt that his boyfriend ignored him so he went to ask kyuhyun.

“kyu.”

“yeah hyung.” He said stopping his game, well his beloved hyung is here and since he loved donghae so much he wants always to pay his full attention to him.

“do you get annoyed if minie hyung come and share the bed with you?”

“well, no absolutely not, my Minnie is warm and I like to have him in my arms.” Kyuhyun answered not understanding what his hyung meant.

“and if it’s not Minnie?”

“oh, that no, I don’t like sharing with other than my boyfriend, it’s really becomes annoying. Well maybe if it’s you than yes but no one else.” He then joked trying to brighten his hyung gloomy mood.

“is that so?”

“hyung what’s wrong?”

But since donghae didn’t want to burden kyuhyun he just laughed and said that there is nothing wrong and went out.

When he got back he has bought a very big soft and fluffy plushy with him.

Huykjae waited for his boyfriend to show up because he left without telling him where he is going and he didn’t ask him to go with him, which was no like donghae.

“where did you go? And what’s that in your arms?” hyukjae asked as soon as he sow donghae entering the living room.

“oh, I went shopping, and this my new plushy, I bought it so I won’t annoy you anymore.” Donghae said with a very innocent smile. He knows he loved hyukjae but he is not certain of the other’s feeling since he never told him that he loved him. And being hyukjae’s boyfriend was donghae's request and he knows that hyukjae didn’t want to hurt him so he accepted him, but today he discovered that maybe hyukjae isn’t so serious about him, as kyuhyun said if it was his boyfriend why will he get annoyed with them sleeping in the same bed.

“you went alone out what if you got hurt? And what do you mean by you won’t annoy me?” hyukjae asked while going to inspect his clumsy boyfriend if he get himself hurt.

“this is my new sleep body, so you won’t have to put up with me wanting to sleep with you. And stop touching me, I didn’t get hurt.” He stepped back so hyukjae won’t touch him anymore. He is trying to be a big boy and try to not get to touchy with hyukjae anymore, he should get used to it.

Hyukjae froze, his donghae asked him to not touch him, that’s new, and above all he got a new sleep body, but again he brushed it off, he knows his boyfriend will come to him again in the middle of the night and ask him to sleep with him.

“I’m tired; I’ll go eat something and then sleep. Good night hyukjae.”

“Did he just said hyukjae” he chuckled at his though, maybe he is hearing things.

It’s now a week and hyukjae is going crazy, his boyfriend didn’t come to sleep with him at night, didn’t hug him, didn’t kiss him or even hold his hand for a week, and he is craving for his boyfriend, and with that he couldn’t take it anymore so he tried to stand near his boyfriend and touch him “accidently” but donghae smiled at him and pushed him away while saying:

“hyukjae there is space there no need to stand too close.”

“ok that’s it.” So he held his wrist and dragged him to his room and locked the door.

“what the hell is wrong with you?” he shouted at donghae.

“let me go, you are hurting me.” Donghae whined and then he sow that he was holding donghae’s hand too hard so he let go, inspecting his wrist.

“ok, now please tell me what’s wrong with you?”

“what do you mean?”

“don’t act like nothing is wrong, you are different, for a hall week you didn’t touch me, for a hall week you didn’t come to sleep with me and now you are pushing me away like you don’t want me close to you, the hell you don’t know what I mean.” He shouted, and he know that donghae don’t like someone shouting at him, and maybe he will cry but now he is so angry and frustrated who wouldn’t if his boyfriend doesn’t like him to touch him.

“am I ?” donghae said looking puzzled, he for the first time didn’t get hurt from hyukjae shouting at him, the thing is hyukjae knew how much he didn’t like someone yelling at him but that never stopped hyukjae from yelling at him, so e for the first time wanted to let it go, until when he would cry because of this guy.

“am I what?” hyukjae didn’t know what is it but this guy is not his donghae.

“Am I your boyfriend?”

“yes of corse because the last time I checked I’m lee hyukjae donghae’s boyfriend, or did we broke up. I hope isn’t in your dream again and you believe that it’s the reality.” He was now so pissed, what is wrong with his hae today.

“Kyuhyun said he never get annoyed when his boyfriend comes to sleep with him, but if it’s someone else he would be. You in the other hand always get annoyed from me. Then I knew that you didn’t take me seriously when I said I want to be your boyfriend, because you act like I’m not. So am I really?”

“Ok, if that’s the problem then you are welcome to come every night to sleep with me, so stop this please.”

“You don’t get it. don’t you? This is useless.” Donghae said and went to leave, but hyukjae held him back.

“What’s useless, if you don’t tell me, how am I supposed to understand? And above all you keep avoiding me and pushing me away.”

“because I’m tired of waiting, you have never told me you love me or even that you like me, and I’m always the one who come to you it was always me, even this hall week you never tried to come to me, everyone makes fun of me and I always wait for you to defend me but no you join them, all people knows that you are my ideal type and I always wait for you to tell them that I’m yours but you choose zhoumi, when I finish my schedule before you I always wait for you, but you never waited, when you go over sea, I always wait for you to call just to know that you were ok, but you always call next day or sometime two days after. I always wait for you to act like a caring boyfriend, but you never did, and I’m tired, I thought that being with you will make me happy specially when I loved you for a long time, but not now, it didn’t and before I was much happier at least that time I didn’t have to wait because I don’t have the right to.” Donghae was crying his heart out, he was burdened and letting it out he felt the hurt once again remembering all this.

“donghae, I…” hyukjae was lost , he never thought his childish boyfriend though like this, why was he blind to see all the hurt in his boyfriend, or is it true that he never take donghae seriously.

“You are not the one for me hyukjae, neither I’m for you. You can never think of me as your lover, you didn’t see me that way and no matter how much I wait you won’t be able see me that way. So it would be better if we break up.”

“No donghae, you can’t leave me, just one more chance I can change.”

“Tell me, do you really mean it that you can change for me?”

“I … I…yes …”

“You hesitated, so no. don’t push yourself hyukjae.” Donghae said smiling; he was just content that at least hyukjae loved him dearly as his friend because he still trying to not hurt him.

“But..but we still friend aren’t we, we won’t lose each other no.” hyukjae isn’t sure if he loved his friend that way but he is certain that no matter what he wants donghae to always be by his side.

Donghae was back to his cheerful self, he is back to his clinginess, maybe not as much as before, but still, donghae still his best friend. But there is some time when he wants to have donghae as his boyfriend again, he missed the kisses, the long hugs, he missed donghae sleeping in his arm, he missed his hae possessiveness and he missed calling him mine. He knows now that this isn’t not normal, this longing for his friend isn’t normal, and he knows now that he loves his friend, but in the other hand he can’t find himself going to the younger and confession to him. So he would wait for the right moment.

Six months passed and he still didn’t have the courage to tell his hae how much he loves him, how much he longed for him, how much he gets jealous seeing him get closer every day with siwon, he was so confused to why he still didn’t make an effort to get what is his. Is this why hae broke up with him, it must frustrated hae to wait so much just to hear the three words.

“Hey hyukjae you have a minute.” Donghae said peeking at him .

“Yeah, sure I have something to tell you actually, I was about to go to your room.”

“What is it?” donghae asked while closing  the door behind him.

“You tell me first.” Hyukjae said.

“Yeah right.” Donghae has this sparkiling eyes, he must be so happy. “siwon asked me to be his boyfriend.”

Little did he know how much this made hyukjae heart hurt? But hyukjae just smiled forcefully and asked still not believing that he lost hae.

“oh, and what did you say?”

“I said yes, I’m so happy hyukjae. And geuss what? he is waiting for me to go to his family to tell them.” Donghae said smiling and for a long time hyukjae never sow donghae smile reach his eyes and now it did.

“oh congratulation.” Hyukjae said trying to hold his tears and he hugged his friend.

“oh thank you. ah what did you want to say.”

“Nothing important, go to siwon he must be waiting, I’ll tell you later.” He said trying to make his friend go; he can’t hold his tears anymore.

“oh, ok bye.” Donghae said and was about to leave the room when hyukjae called him:

“donghae”

“yes”

“why him?”

“he sees me, the real me.” Donghae said and went out leaving a sobbing man behind.