Kyungsoo should know. He was a centimetre or two smaller than Kim Joonmyun, the top snowboarder in the country and South Korea's biggest hope for a gold medal at the winter Olympics. He was amazing at what he did. Inspiring even. Again, Kyungsoo should know... Joonmyun was the whole reason that he himself had picked up the board and hit the snow covered slopes.

 

Joonmyun was his idol, and though the elder had a lot more years of training and experience behind him, Kyungsoo felt like he was at least improving enough to be following in his footsteps, or more realistically, in the wake of his board.

 

He was only a rookie, and he would admit to that. His training years could only be counted on one hand, which for a twenty one year old wasn't perhaps the best backbone for a successful career. But what he lacked in experience he certainly made up for in determination and enthusiasm.

 

Snowboarding was Kyungsoo's entire life.

 

When he wasn't hitting the slopes himself he was watching others, usually the great Kim Joonmyun, creating those first trails and racking up some big points on the scoreboards. He would watch every jump, every grab, every trick with his eyes shining in pure joy and his body practically vibrating in excitement. Though nothing compared to getting that air yourself, not in Kyungsoo's opinion.

 

One day he wanted to meet Kim Joonmyun. He wanted to meet him and thank him for bringing so much joy and happiness into his life through snowboarding. He wanted to thank him for inspiring him and, in effect, encouraging him to take to the slopes himself. And maybe, whilst saying all of that to the legendary sportsman... he could get an autograph as well. Kyungsoo was a big fan of his after all.

 

He had a whole wall of his bedroom dedicated to him. Numerous photos of the male plastered over every inch of wall space. His beaming and perfect smile shining down on Kyungsoo wherever he walked in his room. Articles about his successes posted up in between each photo. Official merchandise filled every nook and cranny. Even his biography was sat on his book shelf. Kyungsoo was a BIG fan. Not that Kim Joonmyun needed to know that. Not that Kyungsoo would tell him. Not that Kyungsoo would even have the chance to tell him. He was simply a fan and a rookie at the sport that Kim Joonmyun excelled in after all.

 

With the Olympics coming up, he had focused all of his attention, when not training himself, onto Joonmyun. He watched every time he competed, proving to the rest of South Korea that he was the perfect choice for their Olympic team. Rumour had it that he had already had the offer and was just getting in some extra training at home before flying over and practising on the official slopes.

 

Kyungsoo was so excited, as was the rest of the country really. Though they had others who were medal potentials, nobody else was being guaranteed a gold, not like Kim Joonmyun. So when it came around to his final competition on their own home turf, Kyungsoo had sat in front of his television, official scarf around his neck and his eyes glued to the screen.

 

It was a heart stopping competition. A lot of the other competitors, though clearly not up to Joonmyun's level, were putting in a good show. One poor soul had fallen from trying too hard and had even cracked his helmet. The rookie snowboarder hoped that whoever it was would make a full recovery. Those falls were never nice. They bruised deeply if landed wrong. Kyungsoo should know. His attention was drawn away from that immediately though as soon as Joonmyun's turn came.

 

The minute that his idol's face had flickered onto his screen, he had shuffled closer, practically pressing his face against the glass as he watched with baited breath.

 

That event proved to be a life-changing one.

 

Kim Joonmyun, one of the greatest snowboarders of their generation, South Korea's greatest hope for a gold medal at the Olympics, fell. And it wasn't a little one either. He had fallen, and fallen hard. Paramedics had rushed onto the scene as soon as the powdered snow had settled. And Kyungsoo had felt his heart break inside of his chest as he watched the unmoving figure on the screen.

 

It was a broken arm. That was what the news were reporting. All the fanboards were freaking out, and Kyungsoo, along with many other fans, had put together funds to send him a get well soon present. It wasn't going to be enough though. It wasn't going to heal the athlete. It wasn't going to make him able to compete at the Olympics. It wasn't going to make all of this alright.

 

South Korea's only chance at gold had gone down in a cloud of snow.

 

Kyungsoo had spent the next few days walking around in a daze, almost as if his soul had left his body. He was heart broken. He didn't know what to do. He had even skipped his own training sessions, much to his trainer's annoyance. The older gentleman had left numerous voicemails on his phone and had bombarded him with texts.

 

Eventually, though, the rookie had turned up at practice. He was still completely heartbroken, but he felt that maybe he could make himself feel better by tearing up the snow and getting some air.

 

He had just landed one of his best tricks, one he had only managed to successfully complete two weeks before, when he saw his trainer running towards him. The older male looked extremely excited, his face was so red, Kyungsoo worried that he was going to pop a vein or keel over or something. Slowing his descent, he raised his goggles, snapping them onto his helmet and he tugged his scarf down so he could call out to the hyperventilating male. "Hyung... What's wrong?"

 

"What's wrong?" The older male repeated. "What's right is more like it. Kyungsoo, we've done it! This is our big break!"

 

He was making absolutely no sense to the rookie athlete. He was speaking so fast he could barely keep up and his chest was heaving as he in breaths. Maybe the air density was getting to him? Kyungsoo briefly considered phoning an ambulance for him. "What are you talking about, Hyung?"

 

A rustle of papers reached his ears and he looked down to watch his trainer pull out a letter from his pocket. "This. This is what I'm on about." He said before he handed said letter to him.

 

Turning it around, Kyungsoo first scanned his eyes over the paper before pausing. There at the top of the page was the official Olympic symbol... What was this? Could it be? Could he have been... He wasted no time in pulling the page closer to his face and reading it eagerly. As he did so his mouth completely dropped open in shock and wonder.

 

He, Do Kyungsoo, rookie snowboarder and Kim Joonmyun's biggest fan... had been chosen to compete in the winter Olympics in his place. Apparently the board in charge of picking South Korea's team had been watching his progress, and they felt that he was more than good enough to go and compete as Kim Joonmyun's replacement. Was this all a dream? It felt like a dream. It had to be a dream. This couldn't be real.

 

But it was real. He realised that after his trainer had physically shaken him to snap him out of the shocked stupor he had fallen into. "Hyung... I'm... I'm going to the Olympics?" He asked, raising his eyes to gape at the other.

 

"You qualified second, and with Kim Joonmyun out... this is our shot, Kyungsoo! It's time to shed you of your rookie label and compete with the big dogs!" His trainer was practically bouncing on the spot and Kyungsoo found his excitement contagious. This was all really happening. He couldn't believe it.

 

After that, his life was a complete whirlwind. His training sessions had picked up until he was practically sleeping on the snow, and he barely had any time to breathe let alone catch up with his fellow Guardians (that was the name all fans of Kim Joonmyun had given themselves) on the fanboards. And before he knew it he was packing his bags and boarding a flight so he could train on the official courses before the real events were due to start.

 

The time difference wasn't too bad but he had still suffered from jetlag for the first few days he had been there. Eventually though he ventured out from his room in the Olympic village and went exploring. There were plenty of other athletes walking around already, them all getting in practice and training beforehand. It was a fairly new concept but one to make things more fair for all of the countries who wished to compete. The advantages of performing on familiar courses were no more. Everyone was to be on equal footing.

 

Before he grabbed his gear and hit the slopes though, Kyungsoo had decided to take a look around the Olympic Village. It was huge, but then it was housing the competitors from all around the world. That added up to a lot of people so it was no surprise that the area was so vast. It didn't just house sleeping quarters though. No, it was quite literally like a village. It had shops, bars, restaurants, even a post office! It was simply amazing to the young snowboarder, who had taken to walking around with his mouth hanging open and his body buzzing in excitement.

 

He had just walked past a cafe, camera in hand which he had been using to snap pictures of anything and everything with his plan to document the entire event, when a voice called out to him. "Hey... you're Do Kyungsoo right? The replacement snowboarder?"

 

Replacement... that word sliced through Kyungsoo like a dagger but he knew he had to get used to it. He was there as a replacement. He was there in Kim Joonmyun's place. He would never forget that. But he had hoped that he would have been able to go through this without being reminded every second.

 

"Yes, I am." He said, bowing his head in greeting towards the three members of the South Korean team who were sat there. Two were members of the curling team sat with one of the figure skaters. Kyungsoo had recognised them immediately, but this was the first time for him to meet them face to face. He would have asked for a picture with them... if they weren't all scowling at him in disapproval.

 

"Thought as much." One of the curling team members said, leaning back in his seat with a sneer, his arms crossing over his chest. "I could smell rookie from a mile off."

 

"Hey, lay off him. We were all rookies once." Another voice, though this one heavily accented, rose from behind Kyungsoo.

 

Turning around his eyes immediately met a chest which he followed up until he locked gazes with a pair of intense eyes. Huang Zitao... Kyungsoo had seen him on television. He was one of the male skeleton riders for the Chinese team. He was younger than he was but was definitely not considered a rookie any more. Next to him was the even taller form of the Canadian Skeleton Rider, Wu Yifan. The two of them combined made a set of towers, and Kyungsoo with his short stature felt incredibly intimidated, even if they were standing up for him.

 

"This is none of your business, Huang, he's not on your team." The other curler spoke up, a frown marring his features.

 

A fierce expression passed over Zitao's face and he took a step forward before the Canadian pulled him back, mumbling to him in quiet Mandarin. The younger nodded softly, his shoulders drooping before he clapped a hand on Kyungsoo's shoulder. "It might not count for much... but we think you deserve to be here."

 

"Let's meet up for a drink some time when you're not on the slopes." Came Yifan's low timber of a voice. Kyungsoo simply gaped at the two of them before nodding quickly in answer. He wasn't even sure what he was agreeing to, the shock of the situation making it difficult for him to concentrate. He received another clap on the shoulder before the two giants left.

 

The snowboarder watched them go, blinking his rather large eyes in confusion before one of the curling team members spoke up from behind him again. "They're wrong you know. You don't deserve to be here." Against his better judgement Kyungsoo turned back to face his own team mates, anxiety hidden behind the blank façade he presented them with.

 

"Kim Joonmyun should be here, not you. He's more talented than you are. He's worked harder than you have. This is his spot you are standing in here. He's the one that deserves to be here, not you." This was all things that had gone through his head already in the silence of the night when he should have been sleeping. He didn't need for the two curlers to voice it, he knew it all already. The figure skater was silent, going so far as to avoid his eyes. Well that was better than glaring at him at least.

 

"He's injured." Kyungsoo finally piped up, his voice quiet and a little unsure. This just caused the curlers to sneer at him again.

 

"Even injured I bet Joonmyun could do a better job than you."

 

"You're going to embarrass our country. The sooner you realise that, and pull out, the better." And with those final words the two curlers had stood up, grabbed their training bags and stalked off leaving the silent figure skater and Kyungsoo alone.

 

Neither athlete moved for a while, both mulling over the harsh words that had been spoken. Eventually though the figure skater moved, climbing to his feet and grabbing his own belongings. He remained silent, and Kyungsoo had turned away to ignore him when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

 

"Prove them wrong." The figure skater whispered before he hurried off and away, not giving Kyungsoo time to even open his mouth let alone reply. Byun Baekhyun... he was well-known for his solo figure skating, and was usually one to say exactly what was on his mind. It was unusual that he had remained quiet for so long during that conversation. Why he was even hanging around with the curling team members, the snowboarder did not know.

 

Baekhyun was right though. He would prove them wrong. He wasn't going to be an embarrassment to his country, to himself and especially not to Kim Joonmyun who he had taken the place of. No... he was going to prove them all wrong. And to do that he needed to hit the slopes.

 

---

 

His first training session upon the official courses didn't go exactly like how Kyungsoo had thought it would. In fact his initial expectations of it were completely shattered as soon as he had stepped foot onto the grounds and his eyes fell upon two figures waiting for him. One of which was the official South Korean trainer for a few of the athletes there. He was a good friend of his own trainer back home, and so Kyungsoo immediately trusted him to look after him and coach him well. It was the other figure that made him stop and gape in amazement and shock.

 

Standing there, in a thick coat, woolly hat pulled over his head, and his arm in a plaster cast was none other than Kim Joonmyun. The young snowboarder could not believe his eyes. Was he even really there? Was this all a dream? He lifted a hand to rub at his eyes, but no matter how hard he pushed his gloved fingers into his sockets, the other athlete was still stood there staring at him rather blankly.

 

Even with such an expression on his face, he was still incredibly good-looking. He practically glowed, his skin was that pale, with an absolutely perfect complexion. His dark hair peeked out of the bottom of his hat, but even then Kyungsoo could tell that it was soft. The urge to reach out and touch him was strong, but Kyungsoo held back. He wasn't here as a fan. He was here as an athlete and a team-mate. He couldn't do anything inappropriate. He didn't want to embarrass himself. Not in front of his idol.

 

"Ah! Kyungsoo-ssi! We were starting to think you weren't going to turn up!" Came the trainer's joyful voice as he grinned at him. The young snowboarder gave him a sheepish smile in return as he bowed his head apologetically. Joonmyun merely scoffed, so quietly that the trainer next to him didn't notice. Kyungsoo did though, and he couldn't stop his cheeks from turning a faint shade of pink.

 

"I'm sorry. I couldn't find the way and nobody would stop to help me. I apologise. It won't happen again." He explained, bowing in respect once more.

 

The trainer lifted a hand and waved off his apology, quickly moving on to the task at hand. "Don't worry about it. You're here now and that's all that matters." He nodded before indicating to Joonmyun who was stood next to him. "This is Kim Joonmyun. He'll be helping with your training. Nobody better to prepare you for what you will face than a fellow snowboarder, eh?" He said, the bright grin still on his lips.

 

If he was being truthful, Kyungsoo would have admitted that the trainer's happiness was making him feel somewhat uncomfortable. Standing here in front of his idol like this was a big deal, but he couldn't stop himself from feeling guilty every time his eyes fell onto the plaster cast on his wrist. It was a bitter reminder that he was there as Joonmyun's replacement on the team. He hated to think what the other athlete must be thinking.

 

Still, he couldn't risk embarrassing himself right now, so bowing his head he gave the injured athlete a bright smile in greeting. "It's an honour to get to meet you, Joonmyun-ssi. I've watched all of your events." He said, feeling his happiness and excitement beginning to build inside of him once again. He was talking to his idol... his IDOL. "I'm so sorry about your injury."

 

"Sure you are." Joonmyun muttered, his expression remaining cold as he averted his eyes to the snow around them.

 

The trainer didn't miss it this time and he quickly scrambled to ease the sudden tension in the area, his enthusiasm simply growing until it was obvious to even the most unobservant of people that it was fake. "Well then, enough chit chat, we've got work to do!" He said, clapping his gloved hands together and making a few quiet thuds. "Let's see what skill you're currently at Kyungsoo-ssi and then we'll go from there. How does that sound?" He asked, grinning overly bright at the two snowboarders in succession.

 

Kyungsoo nodded, already moving to raise his mouth scarf and pull his helmet on. It didn't take him long to prepare and he followed after the other two as they made their way to one of the practice courses. This one was just a simple half pipe, the main points being scored on it through impressive tricks they would pull whilst in the air. It was one of the snowboarding events that he would be participating in. The other being the downhill run.

 

He couldn't keep his eyes off of the back of Kim Joonmyun's head. He still couldn't really believe that he was here, in the flesh, and would be helping him! Nobody was going to believe this, nobody! He was going to have to ring home after practice finished and try not to squeal down the phone at his mother about it. At the same time, though, the other's presence made him nervous. He really really REALLY did not want to make a fool of himself in front of him. So he could not, under any circumstances, blow any of his tricks and fall. He had to impress him.

 

Following the trainer's instructions, Kyungsoo had hit the half pipe easily, performing the tricks and routine he was the most confident in. He even threw in the trick that he had only recently mastered, a bit risky, but he felt happy enough with it that he knew he wouldn't fall. Some of the others he had been working on, though, he left out. They would have time to work on those before the Olympics started officially and he would be competing.

 

"You've got a good solid base there." The trainer commented once Kyungsoo had reached their sides again. "Lots of potential." He continued, nodding his head with a thoughtful look on his face. "I can see why you were picked out of those who qualified. What do you think Joonmyun-ssi?"

 

The elder snowboarder glanced at Kyungsoo idly before shrugging. "Loose rotations, sloppy landings... rookie mistakes."

 

"Yes well, we have plenty of time to work on that before the competition starts." The trainer said, attempting to clap his hands loudly again. Kyungsoo wondered if perhaps the oldest male had forgotten that he was wearing gloves because no matter how hard he clapped his hands together he would never get louder than a dull thud. "Now, Kyungsoo-ssi... your coach has informed me that you've been working on some other tricks? Let's work on those now then. We need to get you as many points as possible, so the more tricks you can successfully pull off the better."

 

The young snowboarder immediately nodded his head in understanding, repositioning his goggles back over his eyes again and grabbing his gear. This was going to be a long process, and as exciting as it was to have Kim Joonmyun there too, Kyungsoo felt rather anxious about the whole thing. He had a bad feeling in his gut which he hoped was just his nerves.

 

And thus his training began. It was a lot more intense than anything he had gone through back home. But the stakes were much higher now. The pride of his country was depending on where he placed in the final competition. So Kyungsoo worked hard, with the trainers help, to perfect his tricks and tighten up his technique.

 

The elder gentleman would frequently ask Kim Joonmyun for his input, trying to draw him into the training sessions, without any decent results. The injured male would sigh, turn to face Kyungsoo, give him a once over with his eyes before reeling off a long list of faults. It was surprising he was even able to do that with the clear lack of attention he was paying.

 

It was rather disappointing to Kyungsoo. Here was his absolute idol, the one he had looked up to most, who had inspired him and was everything that Kyungsoo wanted to be... and he was being, well... rude. What was the point in Joonmyun even being there if he wasn't going to help? Of course the young snowboarder understood why Joonmyun was acting like that. Having his dream ripped away from him due to injury wasn't exactly fun, so of course he wouldn't want to help train his replacement. But even so, Kyungsoo thought that he should at least try to be somewhat professional about the whole thing.

 

Eventually he stopped seeking out the approval of the older male, instead focusing on what his trainer and new coach had to say instead. The elder's advice was much more helpful than the rather harsh comments that Joonmyun gave out. With each training session and his slow progression and improvement, Kyungsoo came to barely even glance at the other snowboarder who was always stood silently, looking completely bored, wrapped up in his winter gear, and occasionally sipping from a Styrofoam cup.

 

Despite all of that, the training was going well though. Kyungsoo always crashed into bed after every long day of training feeling accomplished. Hope was beginning to grow in him that maybe he would be able to medal after all. He could do this. He just had to keep working hard.

 

That hope crashed and burned, two weeks after his training there had started. He had turned up at the half-pipe practically bouncing with energy and excitement, ready to finally nail the trick that they had been focusing on for the past few days when he had seen the coach in a serious discussion with the other snowboarder. Joonmyun looked, well, angry in Kyungsoo's opinion as well as incredibly put out. He didn't hear what they were talking about until he finally reached their sides.

 

"How do you expect me to do this? He's not up to it." The experienced athlete was saying, irritation clear in his voice. The coach merely sighed in exasperation, rolling his eyes before he finally spotted Kyungsoo. Immediately the young athlete was gifted with an overly happy smile, and he knew from that alone that he wasn't going to like what would happen next.

 

"Kyungsoo-ssi! Perfect timing!" The coach practically sang, reaching forward and forcefully tugging him so he was stood next to his idol. Kyungsoo glanced sideways at the other who was purposefully avoiding his gaze. That wasn't really anything new and yet at the same time it was suddenly filling him with dread. What was going on?

 

"Is something wrong?" He asked, letting his gaze move from the still silent Joonmyun to the coach who was still grinning at him in a rather manic way. How he thought a smile like that was passable, the youngest present did not know.

 

The coach shook his head, quickly refuting Kyungoo's question, though, with how quickly he had done so, the rookie knew that, yes, something was wrong. "Of course not. There is nothing wrong. I was just informing Joonmyun, here, about how to continue your training."

 

That... sounded ominous. "What do you mean, sir?" He asked in trepidation.

 

"Kyungsoo... I think you know that I'm not just here to train yourself. I'm one of the overall coaches for the South Korean team, and my services are now required for one of the other athletes that will be competing for us." He explained, and immediately the young snowboarder felt as if the wind had been punched out of him. The coach was leaving to help somebody else. Which meant... Oh no...

 

"B-But-" He tried to object before the coach cut him off, continuing on with what was no doubt a convincing spiel in his own head, but in reality simply managed to make Kyungsoo feel incredibly more sick with each word.

 

"So Joonmyun will be taking over your training. He's skilled at what he does, and will be able to teach you well. You've got so much potential and more than enough skill to make a good match for him." The coach said, placing his hands on both of their shoulders. "You'll make the perfect team."

 

Betrayed. That was how Kyungsoo felt. So very very betrayed. He should have been happy about being left alone with Joonmyun. He should have been excited. He should have been jumping for joy, threatening to jump over the moon. But he didn't. He felt betrayed. He felt sick. And worst of all... he felt scared.

 

But what could he do? He couldn't exactly argue his point. He couldn't beg for the coach to stay and work with him. Like he said, he had other athletes that needed his assistance too. Kyungsoo would be showing bad sportsmanship if he selfishly monopolized the coaches time. He wasn't in the position to even bring up his upset about it either. All he could do was just agree and continue on with his training under Joonmyun's care or lack thereof.

 

"Okay." He finally relented, his voice barely above a whisper, and his head lowered so he was staring at his own feet.

 

"Great. Now that that's all settled, I'll be off then." The coach said, squeezing Kyungsoo's shoulder gently. "I'll be popping back occasionally to check on your progress, don't you worry."

 

Not that that would do any good in Kyungsoo's opinion. He wasn't likely going to improve at all in that time. Not with how little attention Joonmyun had been paying to his training so far. But again he kept his mouth shut and simply nodded his assent.

 

He couldn't raise his head, he felt too miserable, and yeah... he was sulking, but he didn't care. This was not how he was expecting this whole thing to go. Once more the thoughts that he shouldn't even be there began to seep back into his conciousness. Joonmyun should be the one training and preparing for the Olympic competition. Not him. He was just a rookie. He was here by chance. He was here as a replacement, a sub. He didn't belong here.

 

Eventually though the coaches conversation with Joonmyun came to an end, Kyungsoo continuing to sulk the whole time, and soon enough he was saying his goodbyes, wishing the two of them luck before he turned and disappeared from the course. The young snowboarder nervously raised his head, glancing at the older athlete a little anxiously. Joonmyun merely sighed, though it came out more like a huff, before he turned to face Kyungsoo, a rather harsh glare on his face. "Let's get to work then."

 

Kyungsoo watched as Joonmyun turned around and marched off, exiting the half pipe that they had been stood in and taking the younger's confidence with him. No five words had ever been so terrifying to him before. This was going to be a long few months until the competition. He just hoped that he would survive them.

 

---

 

Shortly after training with only Joonmyun had started, Kyungsoo wished that the other would return to his uncaring attitude. Yes, a good coach paid attention and corrected mistakes. But a good coach also knew when to call breaks and allow rest. Something which Joonmyun wasn't doing. He was practically running him into the ground, but he couldn't say anything. He had to just it up and get on with it.

 

The days turned into weeks, and soon enough they had been working together for a month. A month of pure hell in Kyungsoo's eyes. What had started off as a perfect training regime turned super intensive, to the point where he felt like passing out every time Joonmyun finally called it a day. He barely had time to eat, having to hurriedly shovel down food before the other expected him on the half pipe again. He felt himself deteriorating and it wasn't long before he began to crack under the stress of it all.

 

Kyungsoo had always considered himself to be a fairly strong person. He rarely cried, being strong enough to handle anything that was thrown at him. This was proven wrong though by Joonmyun, who was working him so hard that every night Kyungsoo would cry himself to sleep, his pillow soaked in tears and his body aching from exhaustion. He wanted to go home. He couldn't do this any more. It was too much, way too much.

 

It wasn't just the constant work that was affecting him. It was the snide comments that would slip from the older's lips every time Kyungsoo did something that the other would deem wrong. Every bit of criticism, every comment would be coupled with a nasty name or some other snide word that struck Kyungsoo hard. Not only was his body taking a battering, but his confidence and self-esteem was too.

 

It was unfair. And he didn't think he could handle it for much longer. Heck, the only reason he was still there was because he wanted to compete for his country. He wanted to make the people rooting for him back home proud. But he wasn't sure any more that he would be able to. Not at this rate. He just wanted to go home and hide himself away. Though maybe not in his room. It would need a full redecoration. His walls were covered in Joonmyun's face and achievements after all. And his love for his idol and had been completely shattered by what he was putting him through.

 

Idols are people that should only be viewed and watched from afar. The minute you get close you see the cracks, and they turn out not to be as perfect and shiny as you might have originally thought. And when you do realise the truth... it breaks you completely. Kyungsoo didn't know what to believe any more now. The one who he had the most trust in and the most love for was letting him down completely and was in fact destroying him. He didn't want an idol any more, not if this was going to be the results.

 

Every practice was getting more and more difficult for him, and he was getting more and more stressed until finally one day after a particularly harsh comment, he broke. His eyes filled with tears and he turned his back on his 'trainer', trying to muffle and stifle his sobs as much as he was able to. Joonmyun didn't miss it though and a sneer reached Kyungsoo's ears. "Didn't place you as a crybaby, but I guess I should have expected it. A weakling rookie like you? Of course you'll be a crier."

 

"Shut up!" Kyungsoo yelled, whirling around to face the other snowboarder in anger. He had had enough. He couldn't handle it any more. It was unfair that Joonmyun was doing this to him, and it was about time that he spoke up and actually stood up for himself for once. "Why are you being like this? Don't you find it unfair and downright cruel?"

 

Joonmyun, though initially taken aback by the younger's outburst, soon pasted a scowl back onto his face as he glared at Kyungsoo. But for the first time, it didn't affect him. He simply sparked the anger inside of him more. "No." He started. "I don't. There is nothing wrong with the way I am training you."

 

"Are you serious?" Kyungsoo gaped, shaking his head in disbelief. "You're working me past exhaustion. You don't call for breaks and when you do they are for a minute or two at most. You cut down our lunch hour to 20 minutes. You expect me to ace everything upon first try. You've broken my entire snowboarding spirit, Joonmyun-ssi." He practically spat, though his voice was thick with emotion and tears.

 

Joonmyun looked frustrated, he looked just as angry and upset as Kyungsoo was, but the younger really didn't care. This had been a long time coming. "You just don't get it do you!?!" He was shouting now as well. It was a good thing that nobody else was there with them or even nearby. This was not a conversation that others needed to hear.

 

"What is there to get? You're showing bad sportsmanship. You're being a bad coach and trainer. What else is there to get?" Kyungsoo said, lifting his hand and wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his thick coat. "I get it that you're mad that I'm here competing and you aren't. But it's not my fault that you got injured. So stop taking it out on me."

 

If looks could kill, Kyungsoo would be ten feet under the ground by now. Joonmyun had gone deadly still, his eyes narrowed and gazing at the younger in what he could only describe as pure hatred in that moment. "Maybe you're right." He finally spoke, his voice quiet yet full of power before he scoffed. "Maybe I am angry that I'm not competing. Maybe I am so angry that I worked so hard, pushed myself past the point of exhaustion many times, almost killed myself to qualify and have it all go to waste... Maybe I am so angry because the dream that I worked so hard for was ripped away from me. It was ripped away from me and given to a rookie like you. And you're saying that I'm not allowed to be angry?"

 

"Of course you're allowed to be angry. But that doesn't mean you can take it out on me." Kyungsoo shot back, sighing in frustration. "What did I ever do to you?"

 

It looked like there was so much that Joonmyun wanted to say, but he was visibly restraining himself. Kyungsoo just wished that he would open his mouth and speak. Say all that he wanted to say. Bottling it up was doing neither of them any good, but clearly the older snowboarder had too much pride. Eventually though his shoulders drooped and he shook his head, giving up, Kyungsoo assumed. "You want me to be a bad guy? Fine. Here it is. You took my spot, that's what you did." He said, stepping closer so he could lean into Kyungsoo's personal space, anger and hurt radiating off of him. "You are nothing but a rookie. You don't deserve to be here. You didn't work hard enough to earn this spot. It was just handed to you."

 

Kyungsoo bit the inside of his lips, simply glaring right back at the older male. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing him cry, not again. Joonmyun continued on after a breath, not even giving the other a chance to speak even if he had wanted to. "You are weak. You are careless. You are clumsy... You're a rookie. You shouldn't be here, Kyungsoo-ssi. I should be the one competing in two months, not you."

 

Finally the older male pulled back, shaking his head again as he turned and began to walk away. Kyungsoo didn't move, he knew that the other wasn't finished speaking yet, and until then he couldn't relax, he couldn't let his walls lower. And just like he had expected, Joonmyun paused, throwing his last parting words over his shoulder. "The least you can do now, Kyungsoo-ssi, is not to embarrass our country." His words were quiet, and weren't ones that Kyungsoo hadn't heard before, but they struck the younger like a speeding train.

 

He could handle those words being spoken by anyone else. They weren't important. They didn't matter. But Joonmyun had been his idol. He'd been the one he had looked up to, the one who had inspired him and motivated him. He couldn't handle those words being uttered by those lips.

 

How long he stood there, blinking back tears and trying to stop himself from falling apart, Kyungsoo didn't know. But eventually his focus returned and he realised that he was all alone on the training course, the other snowboarder being long gone. Only then did he finally let his tears fall as he collected up his equipment. He couldn't continue training like this. He was a mess. And anyway what was the point? He was only going to fail anyway. If he didn't believe in himself any more then what hope did he have?

 

No, his best option now was to try and go home. He would pull out from the competition, faking injury or something, anything that would allow him to get back on a plane and fly home. Before all that though... he felt the strong need to go drown his sorrows.