Joonmyeon closes the door behind him softly, not wanting to scare the other man inside the room. But by the way the lump on the bed stays still, he knows the small sound of wood meeting the doorframe is small rather than the war going on inside the other's head. 

He paddles throughout the space between the door and the bed, hesitant for a while, weighing the pros and cons of waking the taller man up, and going on with his plan. Or turn around, get out of the room, and continue watching the variety show he doesn't even know the name. 

But after a few seconds just standing in the middle of the room darting his eyes from the door to the still figure on the bed back-to-back, he decides that the other leader sad faces lately is worth more than the variety show. 

So, Joonmyeon walks to the edge of the bed and counts to three before he jumps on it, startling the previously calm and deep in sleep Yifan. 

Yifan grunts in his sleep, eyes still closed but his face is filled with annoyed expression, "What the hell, Joonmyeon" 

Joonmyeon pouts a little, "Bad words" he mutters under his breath. Yifan rolls his eyes at him. 

"What you did is even worse. Is there a law protecting people who is sleeping?" Yifan says as he rolls his body further away from Joonmyeon. "You're lucky you didn't break any bones" 

The room fell silent after that, Joonmyeon doesn't reply to Yifan's last sentence. And as much as Yifan wants to go back to sleep, the angel inside of him tells that he is probably too harsh to the pther leader. He sighs defeatedly, and raises his body up, leaning on the headboard, facing Joonmyeon. 

"What's up, Joonmyeon?" he finally asks, "You're not going with the others? They said they are going to go--"

"To the movies. Well, yeah. Not interested myself" Joonmyeon cuts in, now he's sitting on the edge of the bed, legs dangling in the air. He wanders his eyes around, he's been inside the room for a few times but not really paying attention to the decoration. Yifan is the typical guy, stuffs like books, earphones, clothes, socks thrown around carelessly. The only neatly organized thing is the rows of plush toys on top of the shelf on the right side of the room, placed from the biggest size, Ace, and the smaller ones follows beside it. 

Yifan hums low from where he sits, not knowing what should he say more. He's never good at conversations, he's only good at answering questions because he's Kris then, not Yifan. 

"Let's go out" Joonmyeon says suddenly, turning his body around to face Yifan. "I'm bored" Yifan raises his eyebrow in question. But before he asks anything, Joonmyeon already threw his coat and his shawl to him and then sprinting outside the room with a go change before closing the door. 

Five minutes and sixteen seconds later, they both finished tying up their shoelaces and standing in the porch. "Where are we going?" Kris grits through his teeth, the coldness of December in Korea is definitely not something to be taken easy. 4 years living there and he is still not used to it. Well, Canada has winter too, and it's cold. But it's home. 

Home. 

"You're not going to regret it. Come on" Joonmyeon says, voice giddy, clearly excited. Yifan wonders what makes him so energized. Joonmyeon rubs his two palms together, hoping to produce some heat from the friction. And before he walks into the elevator, he takes Wufan's hand and slips it inside his pocket. 

---

"I'm starting to regret it" Kris says, face fixed in an expression of what he thinks the-most-bored-person-in-the-whole-world. Yifan thought that maybe Joonmyeon will take him somewhere fun, like arcades, hangang to play basketball or the manga library Jongdae told them a few days before but he doesn't really expect the definition of 'fun' for Joonmyeon is sitting on a secluded part near the window of a cafe in Samceongdong. And more, eating waffles, with caramel syrup and sprinkled sugar, when they should be dieting for the next comeback. Joonmyeon is not usually one to break the rules. Yifan eyes the waffles in horror. 

Joonmyeon stops on chewing his waffles, eyes wide starring at Yifan. He gulps the waffle down, "You didn't mean that" he replies carelessly as he puts another piece of waffles inside his mouth. "Ywo havond shee dho besh parth yhet" he says again between munching. 

"Eat first. Then talk" Yifan reaches over the table, wiping the corner of Joonmyeon's lips with tissue. "Okay, okay I'll wait" he leans back to his seat, sipping the iced americano he ordered earlier. 

"But really, why did you take me here?" Yifan asks again after a few seconds, confused. 

Joonmyeon points out of the window, "Just see"

And Yifan turns his head, he stares. Samcheomgdong is probably not the best place to see a sunset, because the buildings are stacked and it's packed, but Yifan thinks that probably it is what makes the sight in front of his eyes more beautiful. The sun is already can't be seen anymore, hidden behind cafes and other buildings. The sky color is a mix between yellow, orange, with a hint of soft pink. The clouds are looking purplish, blending well with the sky. And it's starting to get dark so cafes across the cafe they're in right now is turning on the lights, the yellow light added a different vibes. The scene is a perfect picture of the change between day and night. 

"Like what you see?" Joonmyeon asks softly, his eyes still looking at the bustling of people getting off work or students having fun with their friends on the street. "I come to here often, I'm from Seoul basically. It may not look as good as sunset in Hangang, but I like it best here" he continues. "You said you never had a chance to look at the sun in different ways, you're always busy, you're always practicing, or you're always being kept busy by whatever antics the kids do in the dorm. That's why I brought you here" he smiles, turning his gaze to Yifan. 

"Now let's move to the other place on the list" Joonmyeon claps his hand and they're standing again. 

---

They are walking to the next place on Joonmyeon's own list of Places-That-Probably-Can-Make-Yifan-Happy when the fangirls start to notice them. And in no time, there is a huge commotion of screaming fangirls. Their screams feels deafening on Yifan's ear. The trapped feeling comes back again, and he just wanna go home. 

Yifan tugs at the hem of Joonmyeon's shirt that peeking out of his coat, the latter is now doing a impromptu mini fan-meetings, Joonmyeon turns his attention to Yifan, "Let's go back to the dorm" Yifan says shakily. 

Joonmyeon doesn't have any other choice but to say yes, feeling the older hands shaking on the way home.

---

Joonmyeon closes the rooftop door with his feet, while balancing the two cans of soda on both of his hand and the bag of chips between his arm and his body. Yifan gestures as if asking if he needs help, but Joonmyeon shakes his head fast and strides over to Yifan quickly. 

He puts the soda cans in front of them, the  opening the bag of chips and puts it on Yifan's lap. They're on the rooftop of the apartment building right now, hiding away from the fangirls that they met earlier on the street. 

"What's with you today?" Yifan asks curiously, "You seem like working hard babying me" 

"Nothing. It's just--" 

"It's about my gloomy aura lately?" Yifan cuts his words, laughing. Joonmyeon winces at how dry his laugh sounds. "I thought I hide it pretty well, though" Yifan says, more to himself. Voice laced with disappointment. 

"What's wrong Yifan" Joonmyeon finally asks. 

They fall in silence after that. The only sound is their fast paced breathing alongside the faint sound of car horns barking from down below. Joonmyeon hums a song, Yifan's favorite chinese song, the only chinese song he knows other than their mandarin songs, to breaks the silence. Yifan scoots closer to him, their arms now brushing. 

"Have you ever feel cold, Joonmyeon?" Yifan starts talking. Joonmyeon nods. 

"And what do you do if you feel cold?" Yifan asks, turning his head to Joonmyeon, waiting for an answer. "I put on layers of clothes, turning on the heater, eat warm foods, cuddle inside the blankets" Joonmyeon answers after a while. 

"What if no matter how many layers of clothes you put on, no matter how high you turn the heater temperature, no matter how much you eat warm foods, no matter how thick your blanket is.." Yifan pauses mid-air, "The coldness doesn't go away?" Yifan lets out a sigh, white smoke of air. "Because it's deep in your bones" 

Joonmyeon really, really, really wish he has somehing to say right now. Because Yifan is now feeling lonely and Joonmyeon wants, wants, and wants him to know that he should't feel that way. He doesn't need to feel that way. 

"Winter never felt so cold in my opinion, I am wondering is my Mom doing well in Canada, I am imagining what kind of food my Mom makes for dinner tonight, what kind of TV programs we will watch on New Year's Eve later" Yifan silences for a while, "I want to go home, Joonmyeon. I want to feel at home" 

When he finishes talking, Yifan is standing up, brushing the dust from his coat from sitting on the ground earlier. "Thank you for today, Joonmyeon" he mumbles, before walking to the rooftop door. Joonmyeon snaps back from his deep thoughts and run after Yifan. 

"You know" Joonmyeon coughs. "We all are missing home. But..." 

"It's not a house, nor a place that makes a home. It's the person you let into it" Joonmyeon in a deep breath, "And maybe, maybe, maybe if you open yourself more to other people around you, Seoul will warm you just like when you're home" 

"You're not alone, Yifan" 

We're in the same storm. 

"Please don't go" 

--- 

"EXO member Wu Yifan is reported to file a lawsuit against his company, SM Enter--" 

Joonmyeon stops in middle of drinking of his coffee, hands finding is way to the remote and turns the TV off. 

He knew it. He knew. 

Rain starts to fall outside, slowly, and steady drops of water hitting the cold granite floor of Joonmyeon's balcony.

Joonmyeon's phone beeps, signalling a text mesaage coming. A foreign number. 

7 letters, two words, a thousand meaning. 

I'm sorry.