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No WordsIt was in the middle of September when Kyungsoo’s call finally went through “The Joy Luck Society” phone line. He had been trying to call since the beginning of the month, but only the polite call operator answers him. This time the voice on the other end of the line is a hoarse old man’s drawl. “Sorry, I forgot to fix the phone. Yeah, yeah we sure have some rooms empty.” The man didn’t even bother to ask for his name and just told him to bring his stuff and 380000 Won for first month rent and security deposit. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened because that was even cheaper than he had predicted. His aunt gave him disapproving look when he brought the conversation up at dinner. She said there must be good reason why the price was so cheap. His uncle said it must the ridiculous name. Kyungsoo himself thought it was because not many would people want to live with a bunch of literature major guys. They have this label of being weird boring Shakespeare nerds in college food chain. Next thing he knew, Kyungsoo was dragging his black “XXL Extra Large Travel Luggage Wheeled Trolley Hold-all Suitcase Case Duffle Bag” from a bus stop in front of his college to the house. Truth be told, the journey only took approximately 10 minutes by feet if the person was fit enough to climb an inclining pathway which was the only way to get to the house. Kyungsoo had never tried conquering the quest before, but he figured it wouldn’t be too much of work since he was still young and healthy. Alas, he forgot to count his luggage as a variable. The path was covered by fallen leaves from the roadside trees. Kyungsoo stopped to calm his rushing breath and take a good look of the trees. Although most of them were still as green as they were in summer, some of them had already turned reddish orange. He would have enjoyed the sight if he wasn’t doing the hardest physical climb of his life. In his heart, the sophomore regretted not taking taxi from the house. However, taxi would cost a lot of money and he needed to save as much money as he could. It can’t be that much further. He was taking a sip of water when he heard sound of ringing bells coming from behind him. “Need some help?” Kyungsoo turned his head and saw a man, couldn’t be much older than himself, riding a red bike which matched the thick scarf wrapped around his neck and half of his face. The man was wearing a black thick winter coat with four shiny golden buttons on it, and pair of knitted gloves on his small hands. He looks cold The man looked at him with round eyes and Kyungsoo couldn’t help to think of his cousin’s kitten. “Are you going to the house?” asked the stranger with muffled voice. He moved his bangs which hindered his sight. And he needs a haircut “Oh, yes. Yes, I’m on my way there...” The man’s eyes turned into crescent moon and reached out his hand. “Nice too meet you, I’m Kim Junmyeon, senior. You must be the new tenant.” Kyungsoo took the senior’s hand swiftly and shook it.. “Yes, I’m Do Kyungsoo. Sophomore. So, you live there too?” “Yep, I guess. Need help with your luggage? It’s a bit tough going up there for a first-timer.” Kyungsoo looked at his large suitcase and at Junmyeon’s body proportion. The upperclassman had broader shoulders than him but Kyungsoo was still the taller one by few inches. “It’s okay. I only need a little rest.” “Are you sure?” Actually no However, Kyungsoo would rather spend one hour climbing than giving someone he barely knew unnecessary burden. “It’ll be too much trouble. You need to ride your bike anyway.” Junmyeon’s cheeky smile was totally unexpected. “No, it won’t,” said him as he took out a smartphone from his pants’ pocket. After a few seconds, Kyungsoo saw a ridiculously small, painted in pink pick-up truck was coming down the pathway with its horns honking loudly. Junmyeon waved his free hand in the air and a long bony hand came out from the driver seat’s window, waving back at them. The mini truck stopped in front of them. Kyungsoo estimates that its body perhaps was as small as a mini cooper. A young man came out from the truck. He had brown permed hair and a really tall body. Kyungsoo wondered how he could drive the truck without having his lanky legs crippled. “Kyungsoo, this is Chanyeol. Chanyeol, this is Kyungsoo our new housemate,” Junmyeon said lightly. Chanyeol smiled really wide Kyungsoo thought his face would tear apart. The teeth he showed were really shiny and somehow it annoyed the sophomore. “Park Chanyeol. I’m a junior!” said the tall guy with a deep voice that didn’t match his young, baby face. He took the liberty of shaking Kyungsoo’s hand. Without much further talk, Chanyeol picked up Kyungsoo’s luggage and put it on the back of the truck. He motioned towards the back of the truck with his thumb, sign for Kyungsoo to get on. “I’ll see you tonight at dinner,” said Junmyeon as he was getting on his bike. “You’re not coming with us?” Kyungsoo squeaked while hugging his luggage tight. Although a trip on an open truck without seatbelt on was kind of thrilling, he wondered why Chanyeol didn’t let him to sit on the passenger seat. “No. Candy can’t carry too much weight, or else it can’t climb.” “Candy?” ✾ “Laundry room on each floors, curfew’s ten on weekdays eleven on weekend. No girls, no pets, no alcohol or weed, you get the idea.” Kyungsoo couldn’t help but notice that the house wasn’t as strange as what people talked about out there. The building itself was quite old, the white paint had cracked and flacked a bit here and there but the hallway was quite clean for boys’ dorm. “If you want to use the common room, you have to fill in forms. Room checks will be done once a month. Keep it clean, you’ll find no problem living here.” Mr Choi’s voice was as hoarse as he sounded on phone. He handed Kyungsoo a card and a key. “Your room is on the fourth floor. We have no elevator so I suggest you ask for a help carrying your things.” Kyungsoo nodded his head. “I’m fine, thank you.” Mr Choi scratched his bald head. “Lone wolf, eh? Anyway, it’s almost dinner time already. Better hurry up to the dining room. My wife cooked her bad- mandu today.” Kyungsoo wasn’t sure what kind of mandu deserved the bad- title. It turned out Mrs. Choi’s mandu was the best mandu he had ever eaten in his whole life. Its skins were thin but supple. The mix of chicken and prawn meat was deliciously dancing on his tongue. It even came with warm broth that warmed his stomach up. His aunt had this rule where they can only eat 80% full, but Kyungsoo didn’t care when he put the seventieth-something piece on his mouth. “Were you starving or what?” asked a boy who sat in front of him with weird Korean accent. He had dark eye bags and some ear piercings. “That’s my friend, someone who just tasted the bad- mandu for the first time.” Kyungsoo was going to move his bag so Chanyeol could put his tray on the table, but the taller man shook his head. “I’m eating at the Junior’s table. Mrs Choi arranges it that way so it’ll be easier to feed us.” “Some kids tried to trick her by giving false name to steal other people’s desserts. She’s too old to remember all the name and faces you know.” “So you’re a sophomore too..” “The name is T-A-O, Tao. I’m Chinese by the way.” Did he just wink at me? Kyungsoo tried looking past Tao’s shoulder to the senior’s table. Or at least what he thought to be senior’s table since people who sat there looked more mature in one way or another. He could be mistaken since he couldn’t find any sign of Junmyeon there. “Where is your room? I can help you if you want.” Kyungsoo looked at the number written on the key. “It’s 4142.” “That’s next to Junmyeon-hyung.” “You know him?” Tao shrugged. “Who doesn’t? See that big chalkboard over there?” The Chinese boy pointed at a huge chalkboard that covered three quarters of the wall behind the Senior’s table. It was covered by colourful post-it-notes, some chalk-writings, and on top of it, a frame with picture of someone’s familiar in it hanging. “What is that?” asked Kyungsoo. “It’s the ‘Common Wall of Muse’!” Another tall boy suddenly showed up and hugged Tao from the back. “That’s our most important tradition here in Joy Luck. You write a poem, stick it on the board, let other person continue it for you.” “Yaah! Hun! I already told you not to jump on me like that!” “Yehet,” said the Hun-boy as he took a seat next to Tao. “If you think the other person did a good job completing your poem, you should grant one of his wishes or let him keep it.” Tao tried pushing the boy away. “You’re supposed to sit with your freshman cult!” “Whoever manage to collect most poems in a month get his picture up there. Junmyeon-hyung has taken the throne for three semesters in a row. By the way, I’m Oh Sehun.” Tao and Sehun ended up helping Kyungsoo carrying his luggage and left while still bickering at each other. Kyungsoo started to regret eating so much mandu because his body felt heavy and he just wanted to jump into his bed and sleep. But the neat freak side of him refused to let him spend the night without making sure his room was proper to live in. He found out that the bookshelf could use more dust wiping so he went out of his room to find cleaning tools. His eyes widened comically at the sight of two men kissing in front of his room. The shorter male was clinging desperately to the taller one. They didn’t realize Kyungsoo was standing there, staring blatantly. “Umm, excuse me?” His voice seemed to shock the couple back into the world. They let go of each other and bashfully looked at the owner of the voice. “I need to pass.” Kyungsoo felt like he had to add an apology. “Sorry.” “Oh, so you moved to this room.” Junmyeon’s voice sounded hoarse. “We’re neighbors now.” “I need to go.” The other guy went away hastily without saying further words. Junmyeon and Kyungsoo both stared at his back before the figure disappeared from the sight. Junmyeon managed to produce few words despite the awkwardness. “Do you need.. any help?” “No.” ✾ Next morning, Kyungsoo was awoken by a call from his aunt. Not wanting to deal with the nagging, he quickly dismissed it by lying that he was already late to class and need to go now. He took a quick bath, packed his bag and went to the dining room for breakfast. There he found Junmyeon standing in front of the chalkboard, looking intently at the notes. He was wearing a blue sweater and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but notice that Junmyeon was actually really attractive. “Good morning.” “Good morning. Feel like taking or posting up your first challenge yet?” Kyungsoo shook his head. To be honest, this tradition thing was kind of lame, even for him. He looked at the notes Junmyeon had been staring. One of them looked like it had just been posted. A red note like blood which was still clean and tidy without any scribble nor crumpled. It only had one sentence written. Your red hands cast shadows on the wall. Junmyeon let out a deep sigh. “Have you had breakfast? The sausage is a must try.” Kyungsoo only took a piece of toast and two scoops of scrambled egg from Mrs. Choi. He was still full from yesterday dinner. Junmyeon had queued behind him in silence. Kyungsoo was surprised when the senior decided to sit next to him. “Hyung, why are you sitting here?” asked Tao who sat across them. The older didn’t answer and just munching his breakfast happily. More people joined them at the table and they started conversing. Junmyeon listened most of the time, but he would throw cheerful and funny remarks from time to time, making the others laugh. “What time is your first lecture today?” asked Junmyeon. “Ten. History of Modern Literature.” “Do you want to walk together? I don’t feel like riding bike today.” Kyungsoo couldn’t see why they shouldn’t. The leaves were falling as they walked side by side down the pathway. There were still many greens hanging on the branches. The fall had just begun anyway. The cool breeze caressed their faces softly, making Junmyeon shiver and turning his cheeks quickly into blushing red. Maybe Kyungsoo just imagined things but Junmyeon’s eyes were into the trees with a familiar nuance. What is it? There was sign of sadness, perhaps. And a pinch of desire on his crystal clear eyes. Aah.. A word he once read sometime ago in some book came to his mind. “Saudade?” “Yes?” Kyungsoo was brought back to the world. Junmyeon laughed at his shocked expression. It was a beautiful sound to his ears and the way Junmyeon’s eyes crinkled into crescent moon was captivating. They continued to walk together like that almost every morning. Sometimes Kyungsoo found the older man waiting outside his room, already ready in his winter clothes that are getting thicker day by day. After almost a month, Kyungsoo was surprised by how they knew each other’s schedule well. Junmyeon was quite clingy even though he was the older one. He would ask Kyungsoo to hold his hand while walking, and he would swing their hands like a kindergarten kid. Other times, they would study together in library or Kyungsoo’s room. Junmyeon had forbid Kyungsoo from entering his room because the latter had gone rampaged when he discovered how dirty the room was. Nevertheless, Kyungsoo one-sidedly decided to help cleaning Junmyeon’s room once in a while. Sometimes Junmyeon would fall asleep on the younger’s lap and Kyungsoo would spend every second to observe Junmyeon’s sleeping face. They rarely talked while they were together, only exchanging greetings or simple remarks. However, Kyungsoo was happy. He hoped Junmyeon felt the same too. The greens started disappearing from the trees, replaced by pretty yellow colors which reminded Kyungsoo of his cousin’s sun drawing. Bright yellow, like the sun in the hottest day of summer. Kyungsoo didn’t necessarily hate or love sun before, but recently had developed some kind of allusion to it. It was all because of Byun Baekhyun. Yes, that Byun Baekhyun. A week before, Kyungsoo was waiting for Junmyeon at the dining room for breakfast when curiousity got the best of him. He checked on the one-sentence-poem and found that no one had completed it yet, even after a month has passed. He shrugged and noticed there was another note with chicken scratch above it. Mysterious oh very mysterious Why would some people be so serious When they’re actually very curious Of me Da QueenB Kyungsoo didn’t have second thought and he took out his pencil case and grabbed his favourite pen with too much excitement. Maybe they are so serious Because they are truly curious Of you How you write ‘The’ as ‘Da’ I’m fully aware it doesn’t rhyme Do Kyungsoo He actually grinned with satisfaction thinking of his own answer as a brilliant one. He wanted to see Da QueenB’s stupid face when he read Kyungsoo’s scribbles. Kyungsoo was known for his calm demeanor, some people said he only showed human emotion when he was angry and it rarely happened. But seriously, stupid people who write stupid things pissed him off. A day later, Kyungsoo regretted he ever thought of wanting to see the narcissistic poet’s face. QueenB aka Junior student who went by name ‘Byun Baekhyun’, came introducing himself while they were having dinner. He didn’t look devastated at all. Instead, the short skinny boy with caramel permed hair was grinning widely, full of satisfaction. “So you’re the new guy who dared to attack my baby!” Baekhyun’s word wasn’t qualified enough to be processed in Kyungsoo’s brain, so he just stared judging at the other boy. “Kyungsoo attacked your baby?” asked Junmyeon who seemed to be amused by the situation. “It was genius! Creative, sassy.. the way you made it rhyme like mine at first and not after was the best sarcastic joke anyone ever throw at me!” Kyungsoo was not sure if Baekhyun was actually praising or mocking him. Baekhyun stuck his poem-note on his chest dramatically. “You should choose between making me your slave or taking the right of this baby. But since I’m so touched, we’re both yours!” “What..” “Take me..” Kyungsoo had to apologize to Mrs. Choi because a bowl of her tasty soup was wasted. Yet Baekhyun had no remorse. He kept pestering Kyungsoo after that, claiming to everyone who wanted to hear and not that he was Kyungsoo’s buddy buddy. Baekhyun even joined Kyungsoo and Junmyeon on their way to college if the schedule fit. Sadly, Kyungsoo was the only one who wasn’t pleased about it. “Hey, why don’t you join our choir practice? Weren’t you in your high school choir club?” asked Baekhyun one day. “We can use some help. The school’s festival is coming.” Kyungsoo frowned. “How did you know? Did you steal my personal information? Can I sue you?” Junmyeon laughed again and that was the only thing Kyungsoo was grateful about Baekhyun’s being alive. Everything Baekhyun did to him activated Junmyeon’s laugh box. Kyungsoo smiled a little. “That, I think is a good idea, Kyungsoo.” Junmyeon patted his back. “You need to make lots of friends. Choir kids are nice, just like Baekhyun.” “Are you trying to convince me to join or…” “I joined choir club before,” uttered the Senior while picking up one of a yellowish orange fallen leaf. “It was nice.” “You like singing too?” “Yeah, Junmyeon hyung’s…” A cat suddenly caught Baekhyun’s tongue. The boy smiled awkwardly. “Junmyeon hyung’s voice is really nice..” “I want to hear Kyungsoo sing, it must be much better than mine.” Junmyeon’s smile with fallen leaves on the background did something to Kyungsoo’s heart. Kyungsoo never took singing that seriously. He only joined choir club in high school because everyone had to join at least one extra activity, and every time he went to karaoke someone would praise him, so he guessed it would be a better idea to join that instead of joining a club he’ll probably regret. “Nice to meet you, I’m Kim Jongdae, the new choir club’s president.” Kyungsoo first impression of Jongdae was feline smile and definitely more pleasant being than Baekhyun. He even took Kyungsoo and other members to the nearest café and treated them all coffee and muffins. Thankfully Baekhyun was absent because he had a date with his girlfriend so Kyungsoo was spared from embarrassment. “Is it okay for you to pay for all of this?” Kyungsoo couldn’t help but ask. “I can pay for mine if you…” Jongdae chuckled at him. “It’s okay! This is celebration for me becoming new president. Kyuhyun-hyung gave me some cash because it was his fault I got this position anyway. So I guess, yeay?” “Who is Kyuhyun-hyung?” “My predecessor. He’s trying to focus on his graduation thesis right now, so he stepped back and forced me to step in.” “By the way, did you hear about Kyuhyun and Junmyeon’s bet?” One of the guys who was sitting on their table spoke. “Although it’s not exactly a bet.” Kyungsoo stopped blowing his cup of Americano. “Junmyeon-hyung?” “Yeah. That poem has been on the wall for two months, I guess?” replied another guy whose name was Minho. “I feel sorry for Junmyeon.” “Is he really still waiting for Kyuhyun to complete it?? I thought he was smarter than that! He should’ve known from rumour that Kyuhyun is doing someone else..” Jongdae cut the conversation, looking uncomfortable with the topic. “We shouldn’t be talking about this…” “Although it's pathetically romantic... Junmyeon should just move on and hook up with another guy...” ✾ The Joy Luck’s tenants always threw Halloween Party each year. Everyone would wear their costumes, and although there was no trick or treat, Mrs Choi would give them buffet for dinner and Mr Choi would let some students bring in booze for the night. Kyungsoo weren’t exactly excited about partying, but he needed to go if he wanted to eat dinner. Especially today, Mrs Choi prepared a whole bucket of nachos and cheese sauce. He decided to be that kid in Ju-on, credit to his monochrome closet. Kyungsoo was doubting if he should knock Junmyeon’s door, asking if he could borrow some BB cream or powder to whiten his face. The conversation at the café had made him felt awkward, and somewhat annoyed every time he had Junmyeon in mind. He didn’t even understand why. Suddenly he heard sobbing from Junmyeon’s room. “Hyung?” He tried knocking softly. “This is Kyungsoo. Are you okay there?” The sobbing only got louder. Kyungsoo pushed the door handle in panic and it opened. “Hyung, is it okay if I come in? Hyung?? I’m coming in!” Kyungsoo found Junmyeon on his bed. The latter was wearing a suit, which was crumpled because he was shaking badly while crying into his pillow. “Hyung?? Hyung, are you hurt anywhere?!” Inside his heart, Kyungsoo knew what the problem was. Which part of Junmyeon was hurting. Junmyeon didn’t answer and kept sobbing like Kyungsoo wasn’t even there. The latter couldn’t think of anything else better to do other than patting Junmyeon’s back like what the Senior did to him all the time. After what Kyungsoo felt like forever, the sobbing died down, replaced by little hiccups. Yet Junmyeon still didn’t talk to him or even look at him. “I.. Hyung, I..” Kyungsoo cursed himself. Even though he was a literature major, he couldn’t find words to console Junmyeon, to make him feel better. What could he possibly say? That every failed relationship made us stronger? That Junmyeon deserved better? That love wasn’t supposed to hurt? But.. love did hurt. If it gave you nothing to feel at all, it wasn’t love. “I.. I used to live with my Aunt and her family.. She’s my father’s sister. She has two cute daughters, and they are still in primary school.” Junmyeon stopped shaking and grunting. “My parents, they had problems so I can’t live with them anymore. It having to explain to people why you didn’t live with your parents while both of them are still alive.” Junmyeon turned around. His eyes were red and swollen. “My uncle didn’t really like living with me because some things that happened in the past. Yeah, so I moved here.” Kyungsoo didn’t understand why he told Junmyeon this. His problem didn’t have any relation to Junmyeon’s problem at all. “It even more because sometimes I have many things I want to talk about, but there’s no one I can talk to about these things. So I ended up just stay quiet or maybe write it, or get really mad about it.” Junmyeon’s voice was hoarse when he whispered “I’m sorry to hear that..” Kyungsoo smiled sadly. “I just.. I know how it feels to have something you can’t talk about, but need to talk about. If you want, we can share those things Hyung.” Junmyeon kept hiccupping. “I’m going to get you some hot water..” “Red hands cast shadows on the wall… Those are my hands.. I can’t stand the cold so my face and some parts of me turn really red.” Kyungsoo was looking at Junmyeon’s eyes, but the latter kept staring at the ceilings. “He wrote the poem for me when we started dating. I just.. I thought if I did this he would remember that time and we would fall in love again.” “Until when are you going to wait, Hyung?” Kyungsoo wanted to add you can’t wait forever. Junmyeon chuckled sadly. “I told him until the last red leaf falls to the ground. Am I poetic or what?” ✾ At the festival day, Kyungsoo walked alone to college because he had to be there early. By then, the road was covered by red and brown leaves and cold wind was blowing even harder. Kyungsoo looked thoroughly at each branch landed on his sight. Soon there would be no leaf left on any trees. He wondered if Junmyeon would count them and really wait until the last leaf fall. Meanwhile, Jongdae totally lost his cool about ten minutes before performance. He kept calming everyone down while he was the one who went back and forth on the backstage. Kyungsoo peeked behind the curtain and found Junmyeon was already sitting in the front seat. “Oh my God! You’re here!” shouted Jongdae. Kyungsoo only met him once and it was under awkward circumstances so he didn’t really have time to pay attention. Kyuhyun was indeed a handsome man with dark hair and lean posture. “Just coming to cheer you up!” Maybe Kyungsoo was staring a bit too long that Kyuhyun noticed his presence and nodded at him. The older man talked with some other members and left to his seat. Jongdae called them to get into the line and enter the stage. Kyungsoo saw Junmyeon waving his hand and smile at him and Baekhyun who stood side by side. The piano started and everything went smoothly until he saw someone who sat next to Junmyeon whispered into the older’s ear and pointed at other direction. To where Kyuhyun was sitting, while intertwining his hand with another man. Don’t look at them Don’t look at him Just look at me All performers went to the after party at the university’s great hall. Everyone’s mood was good enough, except for one sophomore. Even Baekhyun didn’t dare to question, moreover tease Kyungsoo a little about how many beer he had that night. Kyungsoo was quite a strong drinker but that night he was testing his own limit out of misery. He never had the chance to realize that he had stood on the stage, literally screaming for everyone’s attention. “SAUDADE!!” “THE LOVE THAT REMAINS AFTER SOMEONE IS GONE!” “THE FARAWAY SOIL WHERE YOU WAS BORN! LOVED ONE WHO WENT TO THE NEXT LIFE!” “BUT NOT YOU WHO LEFT FOR ANOTHER!” Baekhyun had called for Chanyeol and Candy because there was no way he could carry Kyungsoo back. They left him in the dining room to cook ramyeon and coffee, the best hangover cure they know. Kyungsoo had his bag as pillow as he laid on one table. He turned his head and saw a certain crumpled note on the chalkboard. Abandoned. Lonely, perhaps. Without someone to complete it. He dragged his feet to the ‘Common Wall of Muse’. The note was red just like leaves in Fall. But soon, it would be winter already. Kyungsoo always had a pen in his bag. And despite most people thought that he didn’t enjoy talking, he actually had a lot of unsaid words. That was why he decided to write. Your red hands cast shadows on the wall. We fall like leaves in autumn, slowly, then all at once Do Kyungsoo ✾ He decided to go back and stayed at his aunt’s house for a week. One of his cousins had birthday and his uncle’s mood was good enough to let Kyungsoo stay for a while. Texts from Baekhyun kept coming, informing how famous Kyungsoo got and how people were supporting his relationship with Junmyeon. He also told Kyungsoo that the poem was no longer stuck on the chalkboard. Eventually he had to go back.This time Kyungsoo only brought one bag, so he didn’t feel the need to call Chanyeol and his mini pink truck. There was no more leaf on the trees. The longest fall he had ever felt in his life had ended. “It isn’t the correct answer.” Junmyeon pouted and Kyungsoo tried so hard keep himself from grinning ear to ear. The adorable sight of the older in bundles of warm clothes didn’t help him at all. “I know. Sorry, Hyung..” It isn’t the answer you want… Junmyeon took closer steps to him. So much closer Kyungsoo could see his eyelashes and his red blushing cheeks clearly. “It is the better answer.” Junmyeon’s lips were cold but his hug was warm. Kyungsoo knew there was no other word needed and for the first time it felt good to have nothing else to say. |
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