You might as well give up now. 

After an injury like that you won’t be able to perform at the level you need to as an idol.

I’m sorry Jasmine but it just won’t work out we don’t have time for you to get reacquainted with everything.  You know how this business works.

Give up.

Give up.

Give up.

Give up. 

The only problem was Jasmine didn’t know how to give up.  How was she supposed to give up her dream just like that?  Could she really let nearly ten years of work go down the drain because of a broken leg?  She’d be in a cast for nearly six weeks, possibly more, and a brace afterwards.  The good news is the break is clean so you should be ready to go in about four months.  Jasmine snorted to herself as she hobbled out of the head trainer’s office her crutches painful under her arms.  “Like hell four months might as well be fifty years.”

She didn’t want to give up but the farther she got away from the office the harder she felt it would be to come back.  Besides, she thought scornfully, it’s not like I’ll be missed.  My singing was even that good my rapping was average at best, all I had was dancing.  They hadn’t even put me in a team yet.  Still grumbling darkly to herself she slowly made her way to the exit, still not used to the crutches. 

“So that’s really it then?”

Jasmine turned to find Cassidy a few feet behind her, with her arms crossed over her chest and a displeased scowl on her lips.  Jasmine was honestly surprised to see that scowl directed towards her, usually Cassidy was pleasant to everyone, well everyone besides Minhyuk.  “Yeah what do you expect?  I’ll be out of the game for four months by that time they can find fifty replacements for me.  Ones who aren’t so careless.”

The scowl deepened and Cassidy made a move to go forward and probably smack the younger girl but she stopped herself.  “You’re an idiot you’re one of the best this company has right now after Block B.”

Narrowing her eyes Jasmine pointed an accusing finger at Cassidy.  “Oh yeah then why are they throwing me away so easily?”  In Jasmine’s eyes, there was no way that Cassidy would be able to understand what it was she was going through.  Cassidy was here to earn money for back home and then finally finish her schooling and become a teacher here or back in America.  What did she know about dancing?

Running her fingers through her bright red hair Cassidy gritted her teeth and nearly stomped away from the younger girl.  “Did you ever think that maybe this was a test?  If you want it so bad then four months wouldn’t kill you, if anything it should make you more determined to debut.  But no you’re running away like a little baby because it got too hard.” 

Jasmine rolled her eyes and snapped without even thinking, “What would you know about it anyway?”    

Giving a scornful laugh Cassidy tugged at her red hair again, a habit Jasmine had noticed she did when she was trying to calm down.  “You know two years ago I broke my tibia and fibula and they weren’t clean breaks like yours.  I almost had to get surgery to make sure I healed correctly.  Even so my instructor told me there was still a chance that I would be able to recover well and maybe in a couple of years audition for the school I wanted again.”  Cassidy’s eyes turned blank for a few seconds and Jasmine knew that even though she was looking at her Cassidy couldn’t see her.

Unfortunately Jasmine wasn’t all too convinced.  Cassidy didn’t even walk like a dancer in her opinion but then again not dancing for two years can really change a person.  “You were a dancer?”

“For ten years.”

The rational part of her brain believed Cassidy but at the moment Jasmine was just too hurt and upset to listen to reason.  “I don’t believe you.”

Cassidy on the other hand, didn’t seem all that surprised by the scorn in the younger girl’s voice.  “Don’t.  It’s your choice but just remember this Jasmine you may be upset now but if you know you’re going to regret it later you don’t have to live with the regret I do every day and it’s hell.  You on the other hand have a chance to come back and prove yourself.  And you’re giving it all up?”  Cassidy shook her head and pulled out her phone, “Seems like a damn shame.”  Shaking her head once more she turned and started to fiddle with her phone as she walked away. 

Though Jasmine had heard from Minhyuk that Cassidy was an expert at working the guilt trip she hadn’t expected for it to work so well already.  Turning back to the door she struggled to open it until the secretary finally took pity on her and opened the door for her.  Even on the bus people took pity on her.  She could tell by the look in their eyes.  Though she was grateful it just made her feel useless and pathetic. 

By the time that she got to her seventh floor apartment not only were her arms tired but her shoulders hurt a little bit and she was determined to find pillows or something to put on the crutches.  “These should not be so annoying.”  She grumbled darkly not even paying attention while she made her way to the door. 

“Ow!  Are you trying to kill my foot you crazy lady?”  Looking down she saw Yukwon rubbing his foot as he sat with his back pressed against the wall. 

Jasmine stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds.  What in the world was he doing here?  Was he the person that Cassidy had called?  But how did he get here faster than her?  The subway home wasn’t running that late was it?  “What in the world are you doing here you crazy boy?”

“Well I’m here,” he gestured to the area he was sitting, “because someone who I won’t name decided to change the code on me and your sister isn’t home.”

Rolling her eyes Jasmine tried to kick at him with her good leg, trying to balance on her crutches only to have him push her leg back gently and stand.  While she steadied herself he smiled and shook his head, “You’re a dancer but put you in crutches and you have the balance of a baby learning to walk.”  Jasmine scowled while opening her door and tried to close it on him but he slipped inside before she had the chance to.  “Come on you know I don’t mean it in a bad way.” 

Of course she knew that.  Yukwon had been a friend since her last year of middle school.  He was the one that actually convinced her to come to Seoul with her sister and become a trainee for Brand New Stardom after he debuted in Block B.  Which actually didn’t take much convincing Yukwon had already inspired her and he knew just how to get her to do something, make her mad.  In fact, Jasmine wouldn’t be surprised if he tried the same tactic now.  “I know it just… Kwonnie I’ve worked so hard and because of one slip up it’s over.”  Pulling her shoe off Jasmine quickly made her way to the couch and eased down wincing a little, a lot of the pain had subsided over the past few but every now and then the pain would spike. 

Pain she could handle but when Yukwon was right by her side asking her if she was okay, with such a concerned look in his eyes and she didn’t have the energy to move away, that she couldn’t handle.  Not that Yukwon would notice her blushing face or her shaky palms with him being close by now it had to be normal to him.  But then again maybe it wasn’t but at least for her pride he didn’t ask about it.

She was about to ask him again why he was there but suddenly the smile on his face disappeared.  “You know Cassidy noona told me what you said.”  He scooted closer and she moved back, this continued until she hit the arm of the couch and he leaned closer to her a scowl on his lips.  “Is that really it?  One injury after all those countless hours of work is going to make you give up?  Come on you know how many times I got rejected before they finally let me join Block B.”

Looking away from him she grumbled a little and swatted at his accusing finger that was jabbing her shoulder now.  “Losing weight and getting over an injury are two different things Yukwon.”

Despite her constantly slapping at his hand he continued to poke her hoping to get her to look at him again.  “Are they?  You’re going to have to leave and come back after an extended amount of time because of rejection and work your off in hopes they’ll let you back.  Doesn’t seem all that different if you ask me.”

Without thinking, Jasmine grabbed Yukwon’s hand and held it down to the couch preventing him from poking her, but still didn’t look over at him.  “If it doesn’t heal right then I’m screwed.  And besides,” she looked over finally, “you don’t have to feel guilty.”

Shock covered Yukwon’s face and the free hand that was going to poke Jasmine fell to his side.  “Wait what?”

“I probably would have ended up with an injury like this no matter if I was at BNS or not.  And I knew that Kajin wasn’t good at lifts but he needed practice and I needed a partner.  I was anxious to be in a group it’s my own stupidity that caused this.”  Looking away from him again she closed her eyes and sighed trying to push the memories of a few days ago. 

What she didn’t expect was for Yukwon to wrap his arms around her and pull her against him, holding her as tight as he could.  “Don’t be so foolish that’s not why I care you idiot.  I care because you’re important to me, why can’t you get that through your thick head?”  Jasmine almost didn’t hear him though; she was too distracted by the beat of his heart against her chest and the boyish smell of his clothes.  As casually as possible she rested her check on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist in a light hold. 

“It’s hard to not think like that Kwonnie I mean…I feel so stupid I’ve only been training for a little over a year but I just feel so…old.”  She wrinkled her nose and sighed heavily thinking about other girls who were nearly five years younger than her and had debuted already.

Yukwon pulled her back a bit, looking incredulous, “Now what are you going on about?”

“Come on Yukwon I’m turning twenty in a month in a half and there are girls who are fourteen who already have a single out.  I feel like I’m entering the danger zone with my age and how am I going to compete with the new and younger girls that come in in the next few months huh?  I just feel…old.”

He grinned, “Well if it makes you feel younger you can call me oppa and-” before he could finish she flicked his forehead, frowning a little.  Since they were close in age Jasmine didn’t call Yukwon oppa and for a number of other reasons but he didn’t know that.  “But come on there are plenty of girls in their early twenties.”

“All of them have established careers already, are about to debut or newly debuted.  I haven’t even been put in a group yet and add another two years for training probably on top of that when I actually get put in a group.”  It was amazing, Jasmine never thought about this before she broke her leg but now it was all she could think about.

Yukwon paused for a bit trying to think of the best way to convince her.  “Well what about Dalmatian?  Or Brown Eyed Girls?  You act like at twenty three you’re going to dry up into a prune and never be able to debut stop with this negativity you.”  This time he flicked her forehead lightly and she pouted. 

Pulling the arm that was still around her waist off she shoved him away half-heartedly.  “I’m nowhere near as y as either one of those groups.  Don’t you try and use two of my favorite groups as leverage you punk.”  She flicked his forehead again. 

Smirking a little he scooted back over and poked her shoulder.  “I’m sorry all I heard was I’m not y apparently someone needs to get their eyes checked.”

Blushing furiously she shoved him as hard as she could, successfully making him fall into the couch and buried her face in the back of the couch grumbling.  “Stop trying to flatter me to make me feel better.”

The serious look to was back on his face and as Jasmine peaked out from the soft couch she felt her stomach twist into knots.  Why did he know how to make her feel so flustered so easily?  “I’m serious Jazz you’re attractive anyone would be lucky to have you in their company just like-”

Turning to face him she grumble, “Any guy would be lucky to have me blah blah blah well, neither are lining up are they?”  Blowing a few strands of hair from her face was about to turn her head and hide back in the couch but his soft gaze made her freeze.

He smiled softly and reached forward, smoothing out her frizzy black hair.  “You just don’t see them a lot of boys have asked me about you.”  For a second she thought her imagination was getting the better of her and she could have sworn she saw annoyance in his eyes. 

She snapped out of her daze and smacked his leg with a pout.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Again she was certain she imagined anger on his face before the smile suddenly came back and he shrugged.  “Because none of them deserve you.”

Still pouting she leaned into the couch and rested her head on the plush back but never broke his gaze.  “You still could have told me it’s nice to hear every once in a while someone finds me attractive.”

The pair was silent for a while simply looking at each other and unconsciously Yukwon reached forward and started to play with the ends of her scarf she had yet to take off.  After was seemed like forever he finally looked down at his lap and mumbled, “There is someone I approve of though...”

Perking up, Jasmine tried to angle her head so she could meet his gaze in hopes that would convince him to tell her.  “Oh?  Who is it?”

Looking up he actually looked a little nervous as he moved his hand away from her scarf and wrung his fingers together.  “I can’t tell you…he’s still trying to work up the courage to tell you for himself.”

She knew that she shouldn’t be asking about it.  After all at the moment she couldn’t get the boy in front of her off her mind but maybe this mysterious boy would be the one to change that?  One part of her brain argued that she shouldn’t string him along but she reasoned that she couldn’t pine after Yukwon for the rest of her life.  He clearly wasn’t getting her hints.  “Aw come on just one little hint please.”  She pouted and tugged on his shirt.

Smiling a little he gently pulled her hand away and poked her nose.  “And you say you have no cuteness.”

“So are you going to tell me?”

“Nope.”

“But why not?”

He chewed on his lower lip for a bit, “When he’s ready he’ll tell you.”

“But I wanna know.”

Yukwon rolled his eyes and at her and pulled her hand away from his shirt again when she tried tugging at it.  This time he didn’t let her hand go.  “Fine, fine, fine since I can’t say no to you I’ll cut you a deal.”  With his free hand he held out his pinky finger.  “When you come back to the company when you’re all healed up I’ll tell you who he is.”

She looked from his pinky to his face and back again a few times before raising a brow.  “That could be as long as eight months to a year what if he asks me before then or moves on?”

He smiled, a little sadly, and shook his head.  “Trust me he won’t.” 

Again she hesitated but eventually wrapped her pinky around Yukwon’s and smiled a little.  “Now I’m holding you to this Mr. Kim.” 

“Fine by me Ms. Lee.”  He teased, sticking his tongue out and she stuck her tongue out as well.  Before either could say anything else Yukwon got a text from Nicole informing him to come back to the studio as soon as possible.  He gave Jasmine a small smile and hugged her tightly.  “I’ll text you later J.”  He hesitated for a moment before kissing her cheek quickly and darted out the door nearly running into Jasmine’s sister Minyoung on the way out. 

Minyoung looked down the hall and back Jasmine in shock, “Wanna tell me why your not-boyfriend is running out of our apartment like hell is on his heels?”  Jasmine just grinned in respond and touched her cheek, it was warm.  Minyoung rolled her eyes and closed the door before walking over and sitting next to her younger sister.  “Earth to Jazzy, are you awake in there?” 

Finally snapping out of her daze Jasmine turned and smiled over at her sister.  “Just a little excited that’s all.”  When she told Minyoung about the mysterious boy that Yukwon alluded to, the younger girl had missed the knowing look in her sister’s eyes but still felt like she was floating on air.  The only problem was she was more excited that Yukwon had kissed her than the prospect of a boy liking her. 

Yukwon came back a few days later and signed her cast with quite a long message reminding her she would be better soon and that she better practice hard as soon as she got the word she could.  He didn’t bring up the boy again and Jasmine wasn’t sure how to bring it up and didn’t want to seem like a nag. 

The day she got her cast off he surprised her at the doctors with ice cream and a grey t-shirt that had never give up scrawled across the front.  On the back there was a small message from each of the Block B members and the future Evol girls.  Yukwon made her promise she would wear it as often as possible, especially when she was exercising or in physical therapy. 

Physical therapy wasn’t easy for Jasmine at all.  She was surprised how painful some of the exercises could be and learning to use her injured leg after nearly ten weeks wasn’t as smooth as she thought it would be, especially with the big brace that she wore for another month and a half afterwards.  Or as she affectionately called the brace, the stupid freaking mammoth contraption of death, and every time she went to therapy she asked her trainer when she could stop wearing the larger one. 

As promised four months later she was out of the brace but had to carry a smaller one around just in case.  For the first time she stepped in a dance studio in four months and she wasn’t really sure how to feel.  At first the slight musty smell and squeak against her shoes was foreign but a few experimental twists and turns later the comfort she used to feel in the studio returned. 

Not everything was sparkles and rainbows though.  The first few weeks she could hardly believe how out of shape she had gotten and she felt clumsy and unsure of herself.  More than once she fell awkwardly and wanted to call it quits.  Yukwon seemed to always know when that happened and moments later he would call her and convince her to come back.  Jasmine didn’t have a problem with being convinced to go back but it was the things that he would say.  “I can’t imagine BNS without you anymore.”  “The halls are empty here stop making me go crazy from missing you and come back as soon as you can.”  Not once when he was convincing her did he mention the others he always used himself, unless Jasmine called him out on it then he’d scramble to include someone else.  More than once Jasmine became suspicious that he was the boy that he mentioned months ago.  But she quickly squashed that hope down knowing that Yukwon was just sweet. 

Six months later she found herself standing in front of her old trainer and the main recruiter.  Her trainer looked hopeful while the recruiter looked honestly bored out of his mind.  The only reason he had even allowed this was because she refused to leave until he let her audition again.  She had even threatened to handcuff herself somewhere.  For a few seconds she couldn’t get the image of her first audition that she failed out of her head despite how hard she tried. 

Only when the music finally started was she able to snap out of it.  Gwen Stefani’s Wind it Up wasn’t her first choice but she knew that attempting to do her dance that got her into the company originally wouldn’t cut it.  Besides she had an ace up her sleeve this time.  She tried to not look at the pair as she danced for her own sanity but sometimes she just couldn’t help herself.  But of course their faces gave nothing away as to what they were thinking so instead she tried her hardest to focus on the final move she would be doing.  It wasn’t as if she never attempted a back flip before but they had no idea she was capable of it.  So when the final note hit and she landed her back flip just right she couldn’t help but smile a little before the trainer and recruiter could notice.

They left her in the dance studio to discuss with each other.  At first she figured they wouldn’t give her an answer until later but the stubborn part of her told her to stay.  Nearly thirty minutes after they left the door opened and she shot up from her spot on the floor expecting good news only for Yukwon to walk in.  Nonetheless she smiled and walked over.  “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see how you did of course.”  When her expression didn’t change he pouted and glanced back at the door, “Have they not told you yet?”

“Did you expect them to see my dance and instantly be like oh my god Jasmine, welcome back we missed you so much!  We’ll never let you go again let’s go find a group of girls for you to start practicing with!”  She jumped up and down and waved her arms excitedly to which Yukwon pouted and poked her stomach. 

“Hey!  You’re making fun of me stop it you!”

She grinned while shrinking away from his attempts to poke her, swatting at his hand lightly.  “Never.  Besides despite your delusional image of me I’m really not that amazing.”

Shaking his head in disbelief he smiled a little to himself, “One day I’ll convince you otherwise.”

“Yeah in fifty years.”

Looking up he smirked and Jasmine felt her heart beat ten times faster despite her attempts to still it.  “Oh so you want me around for fifty years?”

Mentally kicking herself, Jasmine fought off the blush that threatened to embarrass her and looked away, mumbling.  “Maybe I do maybe I don’t.”

Still smirking he inched closer to her and leaned against the wall near them.  “You know I should make you answer that but it reminds me of something.”

“What?”

Shock covered his face before he smiled and poked her cheek.  “Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten.”  Jasmine titled her head to the side quizzically and Yukwon smiled before flicking her forehead.  “Silly girl you’re back which means that I-”

The door opened again and Jasmine’s old trainer walked in.  Yukwon stepped back a bit to give the pair some space and Jasmine straightened up waiting for the verdict.  “Your dancing has actually improved a lot Jasmine and for that I’m really proud.”  Jasmine didn’t like the way she said actually but right now she’d have to let it slide.  “And though you’re a bit behind vocally wise still,” She mentally kicked herself for not working on her vocals more while she was away, “there are still several more months until official auditions start and if you improve enough this could be your chance to finally get in a group.”

“So you’re saying I-”

“Yes.”  Without thinking Jasmine darted forward and hugged her trainer tightly only a little surprised when she hugged her back.  Once she felt her trainer stiffen awkwardly she pulled back and wiped away a few tears that were threatening to fall.  

“Thank you thank you thank you I promise I’ll work harder this time.”

“I knew you would be back Jazz, someone as determined as you should never give up on their dream.  I’ve got to get back to a meeting but we’ll start again tomorrow alright?  Get some rest you’ll need it.”  Giving Jasmine one more hug she glanced over at Yukwon before slipping out of the room.

Screaming with excitement Jasmine ran over to Yukwon and hugged him tightly, wrapping her arms around his neck.  He laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist and spun her around till they both were a little dizzy but he still didn’t let her go.  “I told you that you’d make it.”  He whispered in her ear.  Jasmine couldn’t respond, tightened up and goose bumps appeared on her arms so instead she hugged him tighter.  “Now to keep my promise you’ll like him I think.” 

Pulling back she smiled but her heart sank, the past few months she tried to make herself excited about this boy that liked her but why wait ten months and what was she supposed to do about Yukwon?  At first she liked the idea of someone to keep her mind off him but guilt had set in and she didn’t want to use someone that way.  “Right.”  She tried to sound as excited as possible as he smiled at her and she pulled away. 

“Close your eyes I’ll be right back.”  She hesitated for a moment but did as she was told and he tapped her nose.  “No peeking.”  She nodded but after a few seconds when he didn’t walk away she started to open one eye.  “Hey I said no peeking!”  Instantly she clamped her eyes shut and waited somewhat impatiently. 

A few seconds later he walked away and the door opened and closed.  Not too long after the door opened again and someone entered again.  As they got closer the familiar smell tempted her to open her eyes but she didn’t even when he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his forehead against hers.  “Did you really think I would share you?”  Did he not know what his whispering did to her?  Apparently not. 

She didn’t open her eyes, half scared this was some sort of dream and bit the inside of her lower lip.  “So why make me wait ten months?”

He sighed a little, “One because I’m a scardey cat Minhyuk hyung still had to give me a pep talk before I came down here and two,” he tightened his hold on her waist, “I know you either I have to bribe you with something or piss you off to get you to do anything.”

Humming softly she wrapped her arms around his neck and was finally satisfied that this was really happening.  Opening her eyes she saw his sheepish smile and couldn’t help but smile a little in return.  “The desire to see my boyfriend would have been enough.”

His smile grew more confident and he didn’t even bother hiding the excitement in his voice, “I take that as a yes then?”

Jasmine smiled and though she wanted to come up with some witty response she felt her legs turn to jelly and her mind grew fuzzy from the excitement and admiration she always thought she had imagined in his eyes.  Without thinking she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his in a soft kiss.  It wasn’t anything that took her breath away or made her see stars.  Instead, warmth that she felt like she had been missing for years, spread over her and butterflies fluttered in her stomach happily.  His lips were just as soft as she imagined and she wasn’t sure if she would ever want to pull away.  Almost instantly he kissed her back just as sweetly.  A few seconds later she pulled away and smirked a bit, “What do you think?”

Smiling he picked her up and spun her around a few times laughing with excitement before putting her down and kissing her again.  The butterflies were stronger than before and that warm feeling was back and Jasmine hoped that it would never go away.  One thing was certain though, with Yukwon by her side there was no way she would ever think about giving up on her dream again or give into the fear of what if. 

This time he pulled away and kissed her forehead.  “Celebratory ice cream before the members come down and attack us with questions?”

Giggling she nodded and pulled away from him only to have him grab her hand and lace their fingers together.  She knew the second that they got outside they would have to keep their distance since Block B was becoming more and more recognized.  But right now that didn’t matter; she had him, after so long she could call him hers.  Fifty years huh?  I like the sound of that.