You have been married for 3 years to a guy who may not be the man of your dreams but definitely a very good man.

17... freshman in college, a lot of your friends have dated already and you seem to have been deemed the late bloomer of the group. You know you're not ugly, you were prom queen for crying out loud. A lot of your friends say you exude an aura that makes people scared to approach you. A lot of guys called you but none of them seem to have the nerve to talk to you in person even after so much taunting of their own friends.

One night you recieved a call from a guy introducing himself "hello may i please speak to Karen(you)?"

"this is her "

"I hope you're not mad, my name is Ok Taecyeon, I got your number from Rosette"

Your friend Rosette have appointed herself the love doctor you didn't think you need.

"oh...hi can i help you with something?"

"ummm i just wanted to be friends you seem really nice and sweet"

"thank you, I'd love to chat but I have class early tomorrow, it was nice talking to you"

"uh ok thank you , I'll call again when you're not so busy"

"bye"

You hung up and dialed Rosette's number 1.2 secs flat

"Sette what took you so long to answer the phone?"

"He called already?"

"Answer my question first"

"Well i know you're gonna be mad, but trust me he is cute, you'll like him"

"sette i told you if i needed you to set me up with someone i'll ask you"

"and when would that be when you're 28?"

giving up knowing this will go nowhere you remind her once again that love will come when it is meant to and of course she insists that whoever said it will come to those who wait must have been on crack.

you now wonder if ok taecyeon is trying too hard to borderline stalkerish. he insist on bringing you to school every day. when there is no school he somehow finds himself early saturday morning in your doorstep. everyone in your family loves him. not only is he good looking but he makes it a point to bring their favorite food and never shows up without "bribe " in his hands.

but why is it that you can't stand him. you find him very attractive for sure but you seem to count the minute he is within the radar. your friends say you must be crazy to not even feel anthing as they find the daily chocolates weekly cakes and flowers enough to make anyone scream "yes,yes i'll date you" in a heartbeat. maybe it's just you anticipating that it will happen sooner or later that allowed the situation to drag for two months. by then you just really feel he's too good of a guy to be lead on when you clearly don't feel anthing. you decided to tell him one night after declining a visit

"taec we gotta talk"

he must have felt the seriousness of your tone

"no wait please no"

"karen i'm not blind, i'm not stupid either...i know i know very well that you don't feel the same for me but I LOVE YOU, please please let me try thats all i ask please"

it's the first time he told you he loved you and you felt how he truly meant it in his words. it ached more because you really didnt feel anything when he confessed just a plight of pity he didn't deserve and definietly did not need. you know you might be the pitiful one, unable to feel the love he is graciously offering. but no matter how you rationalize and feel bad about the situation you know it is not love.

"what can i do karen, i can wait, am i suffocating you? i promise not to visit as often just please let me see you, i can wait as long as you'll let me"

"taec don't make me a bad person, you'll make someone very happy, we can be friends but just really dont feel the same"

then there was silence too silent it was deafening.

"taec good night"

and you hang up.