"Hey Yeol, it looks like snow right?" he caught the falling petals from the Cherry blossom tree.

"Yes, it does." he chuckled and then he began to run.

"Hey! Wait for me!"

I followed every step he makes until we reach the section where trains are moving, The red poles blocked the way, from that point my feet automatically stopped running. 

"Baekhyun!"

"Chanyeol! I hope that we can watch the petals of the cherry blossoms fall together next year too." and the train covered the image of the man I was talking to.

 

 

---

 

I don't know, but reading the letters he sent me became my habit. Each day, I remember every details he wrote on it.

 

"To Chanyeol,

              Have you been well? I hope you're doing well... Summer here is hot, but compared with Seoul my daily life is more convenient. But when I think about it again, I really like my life during the humid summer of Seoul. The asphalt that looks molten because of the heat, the tall buildings behind the heat haze, the chilly feeling from the air conditioner in the department store and subway. Our last meeting was at the elementary graduation, we watched the petals fall remember? Half a year passed since then. Hey... Chanyeol, do you still remember me?"

 

I folded the letter and placed where it was, he sent me these letters when I'm about to start junior highschool here in Seoul. I always reply to his letters the day after he sends it. I'm glad he receives it.

 

"To Chanyeol,

            Continued from my last letter, thanks for your reply. I was happy without realizing it, autumn has arrived. The maple leaves are beautiful here. The day before yesterday, I took out my first sweater of the year..... "

 

"Chanyeol?" I folded the letters back in the envelope.

"Oh? Ms. Abegail." she gazed at the envelope I was holding.

"What is that? Love letter?"

"It's not like that."

"Hey, I am sorry to ask for your help with so many things."

"It's nothing, because I finished quickly."

"Thank you. Are you really going to be transferred?"

"Yes, on the last day of March."

"Where are you transferring to?"

"Canada, because of my parents' employment."

"Hmm, I'll miss you then..." I stood up from my seat and bowed at Ms. Abegail as a sign of respect. She was such a good teacher.

 

".....Because of a club activity in the early morning, I've written this letter on the train. Oh and a few days ago, I cut my hair. I cut it so short that my ears can be seen. Chanyeol is probably changing little by little like me."

 

---

 

The next morning, I took another letter. As I have told earlier it became my habit.

 

"Hey Chanyeol,

                     The weather is continuing to be cold don't you think? I hope that you are well. Snow has fallen here several times. Since the weather is snowy, I go to school with heavy equipment. Seoul is not snowing yet, right? Because of habit, I watch the weather forecast for Seoul too."

 

"Inhale, exhale. Chanyeol..." I said to myself, I was having a hard time breathing. The water from the faucet continues to flow, so does the wheezing I make.

 

"I hope today it rains." Kai said

"The countryside is more intense you know." Chen said. Then out of nowhere, a question spilled out from my mouth.

"Hey you two.. do you know where Mokpo is?"

A towel with cold water was covering my eyes, protecting it to the heat coming from the sun. While Kai and Chen, were resting their elbows on their knees.

"Huh? Where?" Kai pleased to repeat the question.

"Mokpo."

"Nope." he replied.

"Do you know how to get there?"

"How would I know. With a train maybe?"

"So far away..."

 

"First year!" our coach yelled. We bolted up from our seat and responded to him. We trained soccer until night comes. I saw the sun set, it is so beautiful.

"Run half a lap around the school grounds!" the coach commanded.

---

"Hey Chanyeol,

                     I was surprised when I realized where you are moving. Although we're accustomed to being transferred. I really didn't expected the place to be Canada, this time it's so far away....."

 

A book... one of the things Baekhyun and I likes when we were elementary. I always get to read it first then he reads it afterwards.

 

"....When I think that our distance will become so far away that even by train it can't be reached.. It makes me .. lonely.."

 

"To my Chanyeol,

                      I am happy and looking forward to our promise, the promise that we will watch the cherry blossoms again next year, that was from the 4th of March. One year has passed since then.. It makes me nervous. Near my house, there is a big cherry blossom tree. Maybe at spring.. the petals will fall. I wish I could watch them fall with you. I hope that Channie arrives along with spring."

 

---

 

The day Baekhyun and I have been waiting... Today, Baekhyun and I will meet once again. I prepared a letter I wanted him to keep for the rest of his life and a book for him to have a reference to read with everytime he wants. 

For my trip, I noted the stations I'll be stopping on a piece of paper. 

/Seoul Station > Seodaejeon > Nonsan > Gwangju > Yongsan Station > Iksan > Mokpo/ "Appointment at 19'Oclock!"

"Chanyeol, let's go to the club together."

"Ah... yes."

"I'm sorry, today I can't join the club activity."

"Is it preparation of your move?"

"Sort of."

 

"To Yeol,

            I'm glad that you are coming to my station, but because it is so far, please be careful. At the promised time, I'll wait for at 19'Oclock in the station's waiting room."

 

I finally boarded on the train. As soon as I get on it, I glanced at my watch and tucked it back in my pocket. I watched the train move by watching the scenery outside the window. Starting at noon, it was snowing on the day I promised Baekhyun.

/////

"Hey Chanyeol, look at this cat."

"It's always here, huh?"

"But it's alone today." he kneeled down and caressed its fur.

"Where are your pals?" he asked the cat. "You must be lonely."

I looked at him from his back. He's such a beautiful creature.

 

/////

 

"How is the book?" I asked him.

"It's pleasing, I read it for what seemed like a million years in just one night."

"I'm glad you read it."

In that moment, I think Baekhyun and I have a similar mentality.

 

One year after my transfer, Baekhyun transferred to the same class as me. Because our bodies were small and weak, we preferred going to the library rather than the school grounds. This made us become naturally close. Even when we were bullied by our classmates, somehow... I didn't feel scared because of our feelings for each other. In the future, we will attend the same junior highschool and always be together. Somehow, I felt just like that.

/////

This is the first time I've come to Seoul Station alone. This is also my first time boarding this train line. I feel nervous, because I will meet Baekhyun soon. "Next station is Seodaejeon." the train announcer said. I've been holding the letter in my pocket since I boarded this train. "...This train will be stopping for about four minutes."

 

/////

The phone is ringing and as soon as mom picked it up...

"Mrs. Park? This is Baekhyun, can I talk with Chanyeol?"

"Oh? Just a second... Channie, Baekhyun is on the phone."

"Oh? Baek?"

"Hey, I'll be transferring."

"Eh? Transferred?"

"Yes."

"How about Whimoon Highschool? You passed the examination right?"

"I will continue at my school in Mokpo, sorry."

"No... you don't have to apologize like that."

"I want to study in Seoul, but they won't let me do it."

"I understand." I heard my voice cracked up. 

"It's all right... all right..." I hear him breathe on the next line. His voice sounded painful to my ear, and I felt Baekhyun's heartache within it. But... I couldn't do anything.

/////

The next terminal was crowded with people coming home from work. Everyone's shoes are wet from the snow. The air is heavy, it makes me feel like this town has snowed for ages, and it's so cold.

"Notification for passengers, passengers boarding Nonsan... because of snow, our train has been delayed for eight minutes, we apologize for the disturbance."

 

Until that moment... I had not calculated the train could be delayed. My anxiety is growing, knowing that Baekhyun is waiting for me. "Because of snow, this train will be ten minutes late. We apologize for the disturbance."

After Gwangju station, the buildings that were visible became instantly fewer. "Next station, Yongsan." For the next stations, same things happened. The journey has been delayed. All I have now is patience and hunger. The distance from station to station is unbelievably far. The train stopped for an unbelievable period of time at each station. Outside the window is a deserted land that I've never seen before. The time that's flowing slowly, the pain of hunger... All of it makes me small inside of my heart. I think Baekhyun is feeling more anxious than me. I felt ashamed, when I couldn't give him any encouragement. Half year passed, I received the first letter from Baekhyun during my first year of junior highschool. I remember all of his words in the letter. I wrote a letter about our meeting two weeks earlier. I have many things that I want to tell and hear from Baekhyun.

"Mokpo line has become late because of the heavy snow."

 

There is no choice, I must go to the station where Baekhyun is waiting. I've waited so long that it felt like it's eternity. I stood up infront of a vending machine, and I held my wallet so tight in my pocket. I slid it out but unfortunately... the letter I will give to Baekhyun has been wandered by the strong wind. I digged my nails on my palm, in that very moment I felt the pain. The pain of crying. I boarded the last train, it stopped for eternity once again.

 

"To Chanyeol,

                How are you? Because of a club activity in the early morning, I've written this letter on the train..."

I don't know why, when I imagine him from what he wrote, he is always alone... 

 

The train stopped for two hours in the middle of this deserted land. I feel that one minute is a long time. Time must have some evil intention towards me, and flowing through me. I just hold myself not to cry, shaking and holding my jaw. Baekhyun, please... go home already...

 

I finally arrived at Mokpo station where Baekhyun might be or might not be waiting anymore. I know it myself that he must have gone home, but... I saw.. him right through my eyes. He was right there sitting, still waiting for me. I felt happiness when I saw him and then pain while thinking how long he have been waiting. I took narrow steps towards him.

"Baekhyun?" 

He looked up at me from where he was sitting, his hands reached for my coat and grabbed it pulling me closer to him. I saw his tears fall on his hands.

 

"Hmm. Delicious." I said when I took a sip from the cup he gave me.

"Is that so? It's only roasted green tea."

"This is my first time."

"Liar, you must have drank it before."

"Do you think so?"

"Of course."

"And this..." he opened the lunch box "... I made it although I can't guarantee the taste... Please eat, if you want to."

"Thank you, I am really hungry." I took one bite from the sandwich he made himself.

"How does it taste?"

"This is the most delicious sandwich that I've ever tasted in my whole life!"

"You're exaggerating too much."

"It's true."

"It's just because you are hungry."

"Is that so?"

"So be it, I'll eat with you." Baekhyun and I finished the sandwiches he made.

"Soon, you'll move right?"

"Yes."

"Canada, huh.."

"So far away..."

"Yeah."

"Mokpo is far away too."

"You can't go home now, can you?" I shook my head for response.

We exit the station together leaving our footprints on the snow.

 

"Can you see the tree?"

"The tree from the letter?"

"Yeah. The cherry blossom tree."

We both looked at it. It looks empty but still, it looks beautiful. I wanted to catch some petals with him again.

 

"Hey... It looks like snow doesn't it?" he caught a flake of snow that was falling upon his hands.We both looked at each other with a warm smile on our lips.

"Yes, it does."

Silence crawled upon the environment, our eyes are still in the middle of gazing. We both shortened our space, Baekhyun tiptoed, and... I felt his lips touching against mine. At this moment, I feel as if I know where eternity, heart and soul are. I feel that I understand the meaning of living for 22 years. Then instantly, I feel an unbearable sadness, I don't know... how to treat , where to bring... Baekhyun's warmth and soul. I know that in the end we can't always be together. Our future looks big for now, but is limited by time. Everything is happening without anything that we can do. But my anxiety is melting little by little. Only one thing is left... that is Baekhyun's soft lips. I parted our lips, I felt his arms wrapped around my cold body, his warmth is all I can feel at this moment... I hugged him back. That night, we spent our time in a barn near a rice field, enveloped by an old blanket, we talked for a long time. Then without realizing it, we fell asleep.

Boarding the first train in the morning, I seperated from Baekhyun.

"Chanyeol... I.. I'm sure you will be all right."

"Thank you." I pressed my hands against the windows of the train before it departs saying my last words for Baekhyun. "You too Baekhyun... take care! I'll write letters , and I'll give you a call If I could!"

I can't confess that I lost the letter addressed to Baekhyun. The time before and after that kiss, I feel that all of the world has changed because of it. I strongly pray that I have the power to protect him. Thinking like that, I'm always watching the scenery outside of the window. That day, was the last day I saw Baekhyun... and the last day to be with him underneath the cherry blossom.