Idolverse with Reply 1997 references

Knowing that Junhee never got Yunjae still depresses Inguk. He understands Junhee’s pain so well because he is a Junhee, pining for his very own Yunjae, unable to speak, struggling to hold it in.

His Yunjae has not one, but many, many girlfriends. These girls also happen to be his Yunjae’s fans. So he’s not sure if he’s worse off or better off than Junhee; but one thing’s common between Hoya’s character in the drama and himself – the Yunjaes don’t have eyes for them.

Of course he seeks closure with his Yunjae, but that man, that beautiful, gorgeous man doesn’t even know him well. It’s not like he’s rude to him or anything, but his eyes are devoid of any emotion or enthusiasm when he greets him, and to be honest, that hurts. When he looks into his Yunjae’s eyes, he sees oceans, the sky, galaxies – everything infinite and unearthly, but the other doesn’t feel the same. He only sees this actor, an acquaintance who’s not worth a second thought.

Inguk knows all this because he has studied his object of interest intimately, he has studied his every look, every gesture, tone of voice. It’s a bit creepy but he knows everything there is to know about Lee Sungjong.

Yes, Lee Sungjong of INFINITE, the same idol group one of his best friends Hoya is in. In fact, he started noticing Sungjong differently from the day Hoya had introduced them. He doesn’t exactly remember what the occasion was but Sungjong had been in the car that came to drop off Hoya and his manager at the shooting spot and Inguk was happening to pass by. So Hoya quickly introduced them and they bowed to each other. His eyes never left Sungjong, until the younger was driven off. That day, when everyone else was taking a break at the shooting, he looked up Lee Sungjong online.

The rest is like a drama. Inguk always believed that when he’ll fall in love, it will be like a drama. So it was, except that the pain and frustration are all very real and turns out, he’s not one of those cool heroes who would boldly proclaim their love. No, Inguk in real life is like Junhee, who loves silently and doesn’t have a reason.

Maybe the scary thing about all this is how close he is sometimes to Sungjong, like when he goes over to the INFINITE dorm to visit Hoya. Sometimes Sungjong sits with them and talks – he probably never notices that Inguk goes really silent during those times, not because he’s shy or anything but because he wants to hear Sungjong’s voice, uninterrupted. He even speaks prettily and the littlest thing he says puts a smile on Inguk’s face.

Sometimes Sungjong gets mad at Hoya, who always tries to in front of others, and would storm away, hitting his hyung on the shoulder first. Even when he’s mad, he’s pretty. Even when he’s hitting his hyung, he wants him. Even when he slams the door, he wishes the door would open and Sungjong would fill his arms.

He prides himself for admiring Sungjong subtly – he doesn’t see him enough, not nearly as much as he would like to anyway, but there are times when he can see Sungjong, the person, not Sungjong, the celebrity. And he does so without anyone noticing; or so he thinks until Hoya takes him by surprise one day.

They’re sitting in Hoya’s room, catching up, when Hoya suddenly says, “Why did you come over today? I told you the other members are out.”

“I came to visit you, Howon.”

Hoya raises his eyebrows.

“Yeah right, then why do you always ask me if the members are at home before coming over?”

On the inside, Inguk panics a little because he honestly didn’t think Hoya would notice. Since Sungjong has his personal schedule, Hoya’s being at the dorm is no guarantee that the younger would be there too. So he has to make sure before coming over. Today, he knew that the other members wouldn’t be home but he also knows from talking to one of their managers (long story) that they will back soon.

“I-just to be polite you know, I don’t want to disturb them.” He thinks on his feet and is grateful for the ability. But Hoya doesn’t look convinced.

“Who is it?” he asks very quietly. “Is it Dongwoo hyung?”

“What?” Inguk exclaims, thoroughly embarrassed. But his friend doesn’t relent.

“Then who? Sunggyu hyung? Woohyunnie? Myung-wait no, it’s Sungjongie, isn’t it?” Hoya points at him, victorious.

He doesn’t know why he is so sure that it’s Sungjong but he’s pretty much caught and there isn’t anything he can do. He could deny but what’s the point? Hoya is one of his closest friends and besides, he is the only link he has to Sungjong.

“Okay, fine, you got me,” Inguk says slowly, not looking into Hoya’s eyes. He’s pretty sure he is blushing furiously. “But how did you know?”

Hoya raises one of his eyebrows artistically.

“Ok, ok, Hoya knows everything,” Inguk mutters. “But you can’t tell him.” He grabs his friend’s hands urgently, pleading. “He cannot know!”

“Why not?”

“No!” he almost screams. “He’ll hate me if he knows. I will seem such a creepy stalker-”

“Wait, you stalked him?”

“What? No, of course not. Just…” He doesn’t know how to explain it. He is afraid that Sungjong wouldn’t take him seriously, or think he’s trying to play a prank on him. they barely spoke to each other, they don’t have the kind of relationship where they can just laugh it off even if it goes south. “Don’t tell him.”

Clicking his tongue, Hoya shakes his head. “At this rate you’ll never date him.”

“I’ll never date him anyway.”

“Why so pessimistic?”

It’s Inguk’s turn to give his friend a look.

“Like you don’t know.”

“You never know, Sungjong might like you.” Hoya shurgs.

“Or he might hate me.”

“One way to find out.” Hoya clicks his finger. “Meet me at Starbucks tomorrow, 5 pm.”

“Why?”

Hoya slaps him on the back. “Just do what I say and everything will be fine.”

So he decides to take his friend’s advice for once and turns up at Starbucks. When he sees who Hoya’s companion is, he freaks out and is about to sneak out through the exit when Hoya’s slap lands on his back.

“Ah, Inguk hyung! What a surprise to meet you here,” he says loudly, glaring at him all the while. It means he should play along.

Feeling feeble in the knees, he stretches his mouth into a smile and replies, “Oh wow, Hoya, I didn’t know you’d be here.”

Sungjong greets him with a warm smile. It’s so dazzling that Inguk thinks he might have hurt his eyes from looking at him.

“Why don’t you sit down with us?” Hoya says, already guiding him towards their table. Inguk is stuck under Hoya’s arm as he frantically prays that this is not one of his friend’s attempts to set them up. Just the thought makes him cringe.

They sit down with their drinks and at first, things aren’t so bad. They talk about this and that, idol life and actor life. Sungjong describes why he will never try to act again; it’s adorable. At Hoya’s insistence, Sungjong does his famous lemon-candy line and (even though Inguk had seen too many videos of this) he finds it charming. He compliments him on his cuteness and Sungjong blushes. Hoya pretends to brush off a tear from his eyes when Sungjong isn’t looking.

It goes well until Hoya seems to think he needs to speed things up and he keeps on asking Inguk about his new crush. Sungjong seems mildly interested as well but he is not as imposing as Hoya. For the first time since he’s known him, Inguk wants to put Hoya in a headlock. He keeps on pointing, prodding, and hinting like there’s no tomorrow and Inguk feels like sinking into the ground, never to remerge.

Thankfully, Sungjong is flabbergasted by Hoya’s hinting and he keeps on looking from one hyung to the other, unable to understand what’s going on. Finally, Inguk threatens to leave, making Hoya shut up effectively.

“What was that about?” Sungjong asks, blinking rapidly.

“Oh nothing, Inguk hyung here is being a bad boy. Bad, like a red. I mean he’s into Real Men so-”

“Howon,” Inguk warns.

“Right, you know what? I promised to meet a friend so why don’t you guys wait here for 15 minutes and I’ll be back.”

Without letting either of them protest, Hoya jumps to his feet and positively runs out of the shop as if he’s being chased. Inguk sits, dumbstruck. He never thought his friend would abandon him like this.

“I’m really sorry for this,” they both say at the same time, then breaks into laughter. The way Sungjong laugh makes his chest ache a bit. He feels a little weird inside and he has to hold on to the table to stop his head from swimming.

“So-er…”

“Umm, do you really like Real Men? I was on that program, you know,” Sungjong starts the conversation hesitantly.

Soon they pick up where they left off and the awkwardness melts away. Even then, Inguk is sweating buckets and wringing his hands like a teenage boy on his first date. Fifteen minutes fly into 2 hours and there is still no sign of Hoya. They get new drinks, even nibble at pastries.

“I think he ditched us,” Sungjong finally pronounces. Inguk knows exactly what Hoya’s up to. Five minutes ago, he received a text from his friend saying that he should drive Sungjong home and in the meantime make his move. The next time he meets Hoya, he’s going to shout into his ear or do something equally unpleasant.

“I’ll drive you home,” he offers, his voice like chalk on a slate.

“Oh, that’s so nice of you, hyung.”

They get into his car and Inguk wishes he hadn’t offered to drop him off because he has trouble concentrating. He tries to steady his nerve because for heaven’s sake, he’s driving but his heart continues to skip and frolic as Sungjong puts his seatbelt on.

His mind is a mush so it’s not surprising that he gets lost. It’s dark outside and Sungjong is the only thing still shining brightly. Suddenly, Sungjong takes his hand that’s resting on the steering wheel.

“Hyung, you seem nervous,” he says kindly, patting his hand. He probably thinks he’s relaxing Inguk but in truth, his heart is about to explode and he can’t even say a thing.

Gulping down all the emotions he’s stifling, he says, “I-I’m fine.”

“It’s alright hyung, it’s alright, I can accept it.” Sungjong’s voice is almost sensual, his smile seductive; he feels a thrill in his stomach. Could it be that…

“You-you can accept me?” he asks hopefully, his throat dry.

The younger gives him a weird look.

“I meant I can accept the fact that you got us lost.”

He probably only imagined the cool flirtatiousness in his voice. Realizing his mistake, he bites his lip and apologises.

“Do you have a fever?” The next moment, Sungjong’s hand slips under his bangs and rests on his forehead. He wants to lean into the touch but he can’t do any more bizarre things in front of Sungjong. So he stays stationary until Sungjong retracts his hand.

“Hyung, are you sure you can drive? I can just get a cab you know.”

“No, no, I’m fine,” he insists.

They arrive at INFINITE’s dorm after an hour, Inguk a little dizzy.

“Well thanks,” Sungjong says as he unbuckles his seatbelt but he feels that there is something left unsaid.

He tries not to stare at him blatantly and looks away when Sungjong turns towards him.

“I don’t feel good about letting you drive home alone, you look sick.”

“I-er- will be fine,” he mutters. He doesn’t add that Sungjong’s the reason why he’s like this.

“Okay,” Sungjong hesitates. “Drive safely.” And then he leans forward.

Inguk is taken by surprise, his mind is in overdrive – what is he supposed to do? Is Sungjong going to kiss him? Should he kiss him back?

To his utter dismay, Sungjong only pats him on the head softly before climbing out of the seat.

In desperation, he shouts, “Sungjong-ah, I like you.”

Sungjong looks back at him, a little confused.

“Umm…I like you too, hyung. We should hang out together again.”

With that, he shuts the door of the car, before disappearing into through the gate of the apartment complex.

Inguk is haunted with emptiness. He realizes that Sungjong will never take him seriously. No matter what happens, he will remain a Junhee, whose love will never be acknowledged by Yunjae.