The morning light was warm against Byun Baekhyun’s cheeks as he turned over in bed and slowly opened his eyes, squinting them when they met the glare of the bedroom window. As he stared at the empty white walls and focused on the tiny dust motes floating around the air, he felt himself being slowly dragged back into the darkness of slumber. He yawned softly and was about to succumb to sleep’s clutches when he heard a loud clatter coming from outside the door. His first reaction was to jolt upright in surprise, but he soon found himself rolling his eyes when he heard a familiar voice humming along to the tunes that were quietly drifting through the house from the television. Baekhyun swung his body off the bed and padded barefoot to the kitchen. Standing there at the stove with his back facing towards him was Kim Jongdae. Wrapped around his body was a pink apron, which Baekhyun couldn’t help but snort at. Baekhyun’s gaze swept over the kitchen bench, and he huffed when he saw that it was littered with a variety of ingredients; eggs, milk, orange juice, bacon and bread. His breakfast favourites.

“And look who’s finally awake!” Jongdae exclaimed with a wide grin on his face as he turned around with a spatula in his hand. “What’s with that big smile on your face?”

Baekhyun sat at the bench and rested his chin on his palm, glaring at him from across the room. Baekhyun was never a morning person, and Jongdae’s sarcasm each day only pissed him off even more. The only thing that was keeping him from completely verbally (and possibly physically) attacking Jongdae was the mouth-watering scent of the omelette currently in the frying pan. As Baekhyun reached over to pour a glass of orange juice to fill the void in his stomach, his hand was met with the hard surface of the end of the spatula. 

“Ow!?” he gasped and looked up to see Jongdae waving the wooden utensil in the air.

“You’ve got to work for it, Baek,” Jongdae smirked and lightly ruffled the small boy’s hair.

Baekhyun groaned inwardly and climbed over the bench to plant a quick peck on Jongdae’s nose. He offered a half-hearted smile and a bright “good morning!” for effect, which, to his disappointment, were regarded with no avail. When his lips formed a small pout instead, Jongdae gave in and slid the glass towards him before kissing him softly. Baekhyun watched the boy with deep admiration in his eyes as he carefully prepared his meal on a plate and served it to him hot and fresh.

“Eat up,” Jongdae said as he untied the apron from around his waist and hung it on its rightful place on the wall. He proceeded to pick up his coat from the stool next to Baekhyun and flung it over his shoulders. Baekhyun raised his eyebrows questioningly as he brought the filled glass to his lips. 

“Got called in for work,” Jongdae answered his unspoken question with an exasperated sigh.

“But I thought…” Baekhyun started to say before cutting himself off. This was supposed to be the day where they finally got to spend some much needed time together. The only day where both him and Jongdae had no important schedules; but apparently that wasn’t the case as of ten minutes ago.

Outside, the snow was finally beginning to melt away. Baekhyun wanted one more chance to enjoy it before it disappeared into the earth until winter showered them with its presence again. At the same time, he didn’t want to strip Jongdae of his responsibilities.

Since when was Jongdae a responsible person anyway? He thought to himself.

”Have fun,” he mumbled into his food as he stabbed his fork into the yellow centre of an egg, an exaggerated yet highly amusing visual representation of the dull ache that was creeping into his chest. Stifling a chuckle, Jongdae wrapped his arms around the sulking boy’s shoulders and gently nuzzled his nose against his neck.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” he whispered into his ear then giving it a little nip.

Baekhyun would never actually admit it aloud, but without Jongdae by his side, he felt empty. It was like there was a missing part of him. Like the oxygen was trapped within his lungs and the only way to help him breathe and feel at ease was Jongdae’s presence. Waking up alone was difficult enough; spending days upon days alone was harder. Baekhyun sat silently and fought back the sob that was making its way up his throat as he heard the door close for about the hundredth time this week, signalling the exit of his lover. His eyes never travelled towards the vacant stool beside him.

 

-----

Baekhyun hid behind a bundle of scarves as he trudged carefully through the thick snow concealing the sidewalk. Small puffs of air escaped his mouth like smoke. He placed his hands into the big pockets of his coat for warmth and stared at the ground as he made his way to the park where he and Jongdae first met.

The park was different now; it no longer had its colour. Instead of the emerald grass, there was now a brown plain covered in pillows of white. The trees that loomed over the playground were long gone. The blue hummingbirds that used to fly around their heads no longer sang. Even the flowers looked miserable. Baekhyun plucked a daisy hidden within the snow and frowned as he twirled it between his fingers. It was sad seeing something that was once so full of life lose its charm.

He closed his eyes and attempted to shut the world out. He focused on the cool sensations of snowflakes touching the tip of his nose and the calm breeze flowing through his hair. Soon, it will be changing seasons. Everything will be okay again. Flowers will no longer wilt and drown under the frozen white sea. The sky will no longer be crying. The sun will keep fighting against the dark clouds and will shine again.

Our relationship will be fine, Baekhyun told himself firmly. We will be okay.

They changed like the weather; one moment, bright and sunny. The next, gloomy with a few possible showers. Baekhyun couldn’t keep up anymore. He couldn’t keep chasing the seasons.

When he opened his eyes, he saw a boy dressed in blue with tussled brown hair and an irresistible smile standing metres in front of him. His heart nearly leapt out of his throat. He wanted to approach him, but he began to get cold feet. Literally. The boy wasn’t looking at him. His gaze was focused on something behind him. Baekhyun turned around and gasped loudly when his eyes connected with someone else’s. Perched on a swing, his light hair specked with white and his cheeks a noticeable pink flush against his pale face, was a boy who was all too familiar to Baekhyun. His heart froze when the boy flashed him a bold grin.

He watched in shock as the boy in blue strode over to the swing set, his smile never disappearing from his face. He reached a long arm out to the littler boy and they held hands as if they were afraid of losing each other to the world if they let go. Their laughter chorused throughout the air as the danced in circles. They had each other. Baekhyun had no one.

He planted the daisy back into the snow and limped away, leaving the past behind him.

The daisy grew alone.

 

-----

“Baekhyun?”

The voice that flowed through his ears was sweet, just like a lullaby.

“Baek?” There it was again. Baekhyun smiled in the darkness. He didn’t want to escape this. He never wanted to wake up. He felt something hard against his cheek followed by a sharp pain and his eyes flung open to see Jongdae’s hand just inches away from his face. He was dressed in blue; his smile non-existent.

“What the ?” Baekhyun cried out.

“You weren’t responding,” Jongdae replied softly. “You’re freezing, Baek.”

Baekhyun looked down to see that his clothes were drenched.

“I must’ve fallen down on my way home,” he murmured. He didn’t exactly remember what had happened. All he knew was that he was suddenly light-headed and found himself falling onto the living room couch. He noticed that the thick wool blanket from his bed was draped over his lower body.

“Here.” Jongdae knelt beside him and held out a mug of hot chocolate. Baekhyun clasped the mug within his hands and realised that he was in fact as cold as ice. The warm mug was soothing against his palms and soon he saw the colour return to his skin.

“Mind telling me what you were doing?” Jongdae asked, his brows furrowed with concern. 

There was a long, silent pause.

“You don’t love me anymore,” Baekhyun whispered shakily, his hands trembling.

“What?”

“You don’t love me anymore.”

“No, I heard you the first time,” Jongdae sighed deeply and looked at Baekhyun straight in the eye. “Baek, why would you think that?”

Tears welled up in Baekhyun’s eyes and he struggled to form words. How could he think of a response to this when he was falling apart? Jongdae rested his hands gently on Baekhyun’s knees in an attempt to comfort him.

“The boy you fell in love with isn’t here anymore,” Baekhyun whispered.

Jongdae frowned and cupped Baekhyun’s cheek.

“Yes, he is,” he assured him as he pecked him softly on the lips. “You’re the still the boy I fell in love with.”

The next half an hour consisted of Jongdae apologising for the distance that was created between the two. Baekhyun listened intently, his tears now dry lines stained on his face. It was nearly dark out when Jongdae suggested that they go do the things they planned to do.

“What do you want to do first, Baek?” he murmured against Baekhyun’s hair. He was curled up next to him and was running his fingers along Baekhyun’s spine. Baekhyun shivered lightly at his touch and snuggled into his chest. He looked up at Jongdae and smiled, his expression telling him exactly what he wanted to do.

“Let’s do it then,” Jongdae chuckled with a wink before slapping Baekhyun’s . 

 

 

Baekhyun’s eyes twinkled as brightly as the stars scattering the night sky as he soared across the ground. His hands gripped the chain handles tightly as Jongdae pushed the swing higher and higher until it seemed as though it was almost possible for Baekhyun to reach out and pluck the moon from its orbit. He closed his eyes and let the night air wash over him like a wave. He whined when he realised he was slowly beginning to fall, his legs now dragging along the cold land.

“Hey, Jongd-“ He said as he shuffled on his seat to look behind him. There was nothing but a broken lamppost and the traces of footsteps. He saw something move from the corner of his eye but it was too late. He groaned as a snowball hit him directly on the ear and jumped up when he heard loud laughter erupting from a distance. The boy in blue was back, but this time, his gaze never left Baekhyun’s. He stuck his tongue out as he strode over swinging his arms around.

“You’re going to pay for that,” Baekhyun called out as he leaned down and collected a pile of snow. He aimed it at the boy’s head and frowned when he dodged skilfully. Jongdae was always good at snowball fights. In fact, it was Baekhyun who was always the only one covered in snow at the end of the game. One moment of hesitation and he was bombarded with snowballs. He surrendered himself and fell to the ground with his arms and legs splayed out. He began to move them up and down, creating small wings coupled with a dress for himself. Jongdae’s shadow approached him and soon his view of the sky was completely obstructed by the boy. Jongdae admired Baekhyun’s small frame from above before joining him. Their fingers reached for each other and intertwined.

It was those sweet little things that Baekhyun truly enjoyed; Jongdae’s sarcasm in the early morning, his playfulness as well as his ability to comfort him when he was in need of comforting. He may wake up alone, but he knew that tonight, as well as every other night, he will not be sleeping alone.

 

The snow finally melted.

 

And so did Baekhyun’s heart.