Pairing: Taeyeon & Tiffany

Date: 01/05/15 11:42pm

Tiffany never believed that it is sweeter the second time around. She knew that a crumpled paper cannot be perfectly smooth again. "But atleast you can try to fix everything. Think about it, Miyoung." She heard a voice from the past whispered, but it rang inside her reasoning mind.

Tiffany shook her head. Her life isn't about second chances.

She had three ex-lovers. Taeyeon, Nichkhun, and Sunkyu. Her first one, Taeyeon, was her greatest love of all. Yes, it was cheesy. Yes, it was cliché. But she couldn't find any other words to describe what they had back then. It was just... indescribable. But all of her sentences started with it was. It was beautiful. So beautiful that she had to cry painfully when it ended so abruptly. She couldn't understand. She was so confused. Why would you want to leave when we were so perfect?

She had no words from Taeyeon since the girl left. Not even a word. Just a letter so confusing, so short, so Taeyeon. A letter that ended four years of amazing-ness, like what Taeyeon once called their moments together. Amazing-ness. Tiffany laughed bitterly. Guess it wasn't amazing enough.

What confused her heart the most was the letter. Taeyeon's letter. It started with Dear my Tiffany and she cried together with the sky as the rain poured heavily, so heavily but she didn't mind because her heart was much more heavier than the raindrops in her roof. It was Taeyeon's handwriting, and it was enough to make tears flow down from her left eye to her cheek.

'Seek and you shall find.' When I seeked out, I found you. But I need to go. If one day, we meet again, or if one day, you seek for me, I hope you will find me and give what I broke a second chance. It's nearly impossible, but atleast you can try to fix everything. Think about it, Miyoung. Always. But as much as I want to selfishly say that, I hope you'll experience amazing-ness without me. Goodbye. Forever yours, Taeyeon.

It felt like mourning, mourning for the moments, the touches, kisses, and warmth. But the memories were kept and stored in a jar, sealed deep in Tiffany's heart as she tried to move on. Because Taeyeon was Tiffany's first love, and she believed first love was meant to teach us lessons we can only learn from being hurt.

She tried it with Nichkhun. It was fun, full of laughters, looks of fondness. But inside she knew it was different. Adrenaline is different from sparks. Sparks that only Taeyeon could ignite. Electricity from within that shot needles in her heart, making her body convulse with just one single touch. It was different. It was Taeyeon.

You can have fun with friends, you can laugh with them, you can be fond of them. And so with mutual consent, they broke up. They were still friends. Tiffany felt bad--not because of the break up, but because of her feelings after the break up. She was not sad about it. Not at all.

She still didn't find amazing-ness.

Tiffany wanted to be out of the game for so long. No dates, no flirting, and definitely no romantic feelings. She just worked, worked, and worked until her body itself was worn out. Still, being physically worn out was nothing compared to the ache of her heart, yearning for those needles, for those sparks to be ignited again. She wanted to seek Taeyeon. She needs to find her. Taeyeon, Taeyeon, Taeyeon. She drove to the Han bridge, but Taeyeon was not there. To the night market. To Taeyeon's old apartment. Hell, she would even go around the world just to find her. To cease the aching. It hurts so bad she can't even feel her own fingernails digging into the skin in her chest. She was clutching her chest so hard, she wanted to scream, she was crying. The tears felt so hot against her skin but damn it felt so good. Only Taeyeon could give her warmth. Only Taeyeon can. She cried so hard and gripped the steering wheel harder. She cannot see. It became blurry.

A crash. An accident.

Something exploded. Something burned her. It was so hot, scorching hot. But she thought that her own tears are even hotter than the flames engulfing her. It was red. Then it was black. It wasn't Taeyeon.