Chapter 19
Mine
No One's Pov:
She didn't even know why, of all people. She went to Irene. Asking her for help in general was degrading enough, but asking her for help regarding Hayoung was even more a demolition to her pride. After all, the blonde was her first love- (and now girlfriend) The two spent hours on end talking, everyday they would meet up and just, talk.
Looking back, none of the two would be able to tell how exactly that habit had started, why they kept it up for quite a while. All they knew was that it was good for both of them to talk everything out, something they even looked forward to if they were completely honest with themselves. Of course Namjoo's friends didn't know about it at first. Nobody did. Not that they tried hard to keep it a secret, it was like a tacit agreement neither of them would be running around town bursting out the news, though. It was just... Odd. And surely Bomi would have a heart attack (she practically did when she found out R.I.P Bomi) if she found out Namjoo and the girl she held liable for ruining her life had come to somewhat friendly terms and were talking to each other like nothing ever happend.
This evening, though, Namjoo was alone, sitting at her desk trying to study. The homework she had planned on getting done this weekend was still lying in front of her. Untouched, since, again, her thoughts had gotten the better of her. It happened more often than she liked to admit lately. She kept thinking about how she hadn't talked to Hayoung for almost two months now. They still talked to each other, of course, but they hadn't talked, really talked. About everything that happened. Namjoo wanted to downright slap herself in the face for even thinking about it, for actually missing the little intimacy she shared with Hayoung, most of the times being the highlight of her whole week. She wanted to slap herself for being weak.
She had made this mistake once already, the mistake of opening her heart to the weakness other people called love. She didn't even want to think about where that had gotten her, it seemed like ten lifetimes ago anyway. It had been so easy though, giving in to Irene had been so easy, it felt so natural, so good. With her she had managed to breathe again, happy even. Benig with Irene is like going back in time, being with Irene is a chance to escape the reality of her messy life. Ignorance is bliss.
Namjoo squeezed her eyes shut, trying to repress the memories of dark times clouding her mind, but it did not work. Everything suddenly came flying back at her, constricting , making it hard to breath. Quickly, she reached for her phone, pulling up a photo. Even after Hayoung entered her life, she had never been a person to take, still less keep, a lot of photos, for she thought of it as a sentimental foible. But this one was... Different. They took it on the way to the ball while in the car. Namjoo didn't know why she didn't just delete it. But in the end she still kept it, though she was not able to say why. The picture showed the two of them. Namjoo had her arm wrapped around Hayoung's shoulder, both with bold smiles on their faces. It made Namjoo smile every time. Even if she hated to admit it, it was her safe haven when dark thoughts haunted her mind. Again, she allowed herself a little bit of weakness.
She almost jumped at the sudden knock at the front door. It was rare enough that she got visitors these days. The only one to regularly stop by was Irene, actually. How ironic. Before getting up, she took a deep breath, smoothing out her skirt and turning her phone off. She allowed herself a last look in the mirror in her room, before she made her way downstars and opened the door, not able to fight the smile creeping up on her lips at possibly seeing her girlfriend standing outside it .
"Oh, it's you." A frown appeared on her face. "Eunji, what do you want?" Namjoo raised an eyebrow, having hoped to be
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