MN: I have emetophobia and right now I'm feeling so sick and I want to cry

It's almost 3 in the morning when Taemin felt that strange sensation in the pit of his stomach and up to his throat, his body instantly tensing.

No. Please.

Lee Taemin has a strange phobia, emetophobia, which is the phobia of throwing up and everything related to it.

He was able to accommodate his life with that phobia tagging along; he only got sick two times in his adulthood, he never over-ate and he tried everything to not do too much physical movement after eating. He checked the expiry dates of the foods he was going to eat, that way he wouldn't get a food poison. Anyways, Lee Taemin can't remember the last time he threw up, and he's also thankful for that because his phobia doesn't let him even see someone throwing up without going in a mental breakdown.

But, four weeks ago, Taemin had fainted at work and was rushed to the hospital by his workmates, his boyfriend meeting them at the hospital entrance.

Taemin was just dehydrated and Doctor Kim almost flipped a table because-

“How can you be dehydrated in your condition, Lee Taemin?! How reckless you are!” The Doctor had asked, exalted. Taemin and Minho (his boyfriend) eyed him weirdly.

“His condition?” Minho had asked, Taemin still being too weak and dizzy to speak.

“You are going to be parents, for the love of God!”

“Wha...-”

They had no problems with it, they were happy. A child is always a blessing. All of his workmates congratulated him at work and Minho's workmates were also happy for them. Everything was just so perfect and this blessing came just in the perfect time, because both of them had stable jobs and a big house and it was just perfect.

But he forgot the promise he did years ago when he was a teenager.

“I don't want kids because I'd rather die than throw up every morning for three months. I'd rather adopt a kid.”

Taemin remembers it clearly now. He remembers every detail of that day, even Minho was present, and he remembers it now that he feels that horrible and terrifying wave of nausea that came out of nowhere.

He stirred in his sleep, changing positions every 5 minutes because he felt nauseous lying like that. He almost woke up Minho. When he felt him moving next him Taemin froze in his spot, not wanting to wake him up at such early hours.

When Taemin finally found a position that didn't make him as nauseous as before, which was holding Minho's shirt as he inhaled his scent, Taemin happily sighed. He didn't feel that horrid feeling of food coming up and down his throat. He accommodated himself better and tried to continue sleeping.

Tried because it was 3:15AM and that feeling was back. The feeling of strange fluids coming up and down your throat was back and he felt them stronger.

He wanted to cry. It was a horrible feeling that just wouldn't go away. It was like torture, and he hates the fact that the nausea was present for about 30 minutes and it wouldn't go away. It was as if his own unborn child was making fun of him.

He knew he couldn't keep lying down, so he slowly sat up, not wanting to do fast movements and make the nausea worse. The coldness of the AC was making him shiver, which made him even sicker. It was as if everything was against him, everything that happened made him even more nauseous.

“, , , ...-” he mumbled but suddenly stopped, feeling as if he talked he would definitely throw up which he didn't want, so he shut his mouth.

He started to take deep breaths; something his grandma told him when he was little. “If you feel sick, take a deep breath to calm the nausea baby boy!”

It always worked, so why the it's not working now?!

Taemin whined, which made Minho wake up because he was kind of a light sleeper whenever he wanted to be one.

“Minnie...” His deep voice asked. “What are you doing awake..?” If Taemin wasn't feeling nauseated by everything, he would have found Minho's sleep-voice very attractive but sadly, he was feeling nauseated by everything.

“Shh,” Taemin hushed him. He was concentrating in not throwing up and Minho was distracting him.

“Why are you shushing me?”

“Shh!” As every minute passed, it was harder to keep the food in. But Taemin was determined to not throw up. He wouldn't. His phobia was getting the best of him.

“Tae...-”

“Minho could you plea...-” the soft whine made Minho sit up and get out of bed to turn on the light and see what the hell was wrong with Taemin. As he did so, he saw the boy with his legs crossed and a hand covering his mouth as he tried to control his nerves.

He instantly knew.

“Baby, are you feeling sick again?” Minho asked gently, being aware of his boyfriend silly yet horrible phobia. Seeing how he nodded, Minho went back to bed and sat down next to him, being sure not to touch him because Taemin hated to be touched when he was feeling nauseous.

“It's going to make you feel worse if you try not to throw up.” It was the truth. Taemin tried to glare at him, but it was just a scared-as- stare. Taemin has been hearing the same sentence all his life from his parents, family members and doctors. He has gone to hospitals because he had felt sick and did not want to throw up, the only solution the doctor gave him was exactly that.

“If you are feeling nauseous, I can give you medicine to stop the nausea but it will eventually come back. If you want the nausea to instantly disappear, you just have to throw up and eliminate whatever you ate that's making you uncomfortable.”

Oh how he hated those people for making him throw up.

He analyzed what Minho told him, but he still didn't want to. He slowly shook his head, still looking at Minho. The other boy smiled and stood up.

“Do you want me to keep the lights on?” Minho asked as he made his way to the light switch. He looked back and saw Taemin nodding, so he let them on. He went back to bed and kissed Taemin's cheek.

“You will feel better Minnie; don't let your phobia make you feel worse. It's a normal thing.” And with that, Minho went back to sleep.

Well, he pretended to go back to sleep. He knew Taemin was thinking about it, because he was already exhausted and besides, Minho won't go to sleep with his boyfriend in that state.

He knew Taemin was afraid of throwing up, he never really understood that fear, but he guesses it must be pretty bad. So he doesn't about it, everybody has different fears and no one should be judged about it. He figured it was a little bit harder for Taemin to know that this will happen almost every morning for about three months, but he's thankful that he's going through it without complains.

It took him two minutes, Minho counted them. Taemin didn't notice, but he saw how he was battling with himself to just run to the bathroom and throw up or endure the discomfort a few more hours and still throw up later. He saw how he silently cried because he was still as scared as before and he saw how he finally couldn't do it anymore and ran to the bathroom. Just then, Minho stood up. He went downstairs to bring a glass of water; he took his time because he knew Taemin didn't like to be watched in such a state, and then he went back upstairs and to the bathroom.

When he entered, Taemin was already done but he was still feeling dizzy and very much sick. Minho sat down next to him and asked if he wanted some water, to which Taemin said a muffled “No.”

Minho set the water aside and kissed Taemin's back, letting him know that he was there, and hoping it will calm down his breathing. Taemin was pretty much a mess right now.

“Are you feeling better?” Minho asked as he played with the younger's hair. Hearing him whine and shake his head, and soon after hearing him throw up again, it was heart breaking for Minho but he couldn't do anything about it.

After a while, Taemin seemed to calm down a bit. His breathing was still kind of fast and he was still hugging the toilet seat, but it seemed that he was done throwing up.

“M-Minho...” He mumbled weakly.

“Are you better now?” Minho asked as he Taemin's hair with one hand and did small circle motions on his back with the other.

Taemin slowly nodded. “I can't move,” the boy whined, defeated. After having a fit of sickness, he always gets too weak after. “I feel like I'm shaking.”

“That's because you are.” Minho could feel Taemin's body shaking, but that's normal. The effort of throwing up and the lack of food in his system can make his body tremble and feel weaker than usual.

Minho stood up and helped Taemin to sit down straight, which made him whine in pain because the movement of straightening his stomach hurt him. Taemin's weak hands took the glass of water and he rinsed his mouth as Minho flushed the toilet and helped him stand up.

To stand up was quite a hard task, because he was still feeling dizzy and he would sway to the side, but Minho was there to hold him and guide him. After brushing his teeth with Minho holding him so he wouldn't fall, both of them went back to bed.

Taemin was feeling a little weary, but he wasn't as nauseated as before, he felt better even though he was feeling like total crap.

“All better?” Minho asked as he nuzzled his nose in Taemin's neck. The other just nodded, too exhausted and dizzy to speak. In a silent thanks for being there with him, Taemin hugged him a little bit tighter, mumbling a small “I love you” to the one he loves the most. Minho smiled, returned the gesture with a kiss to his neck.

Both of them fell asleep after that in each other's arms.

Taemin still woke up three more times to run to the bathroom and throw up, and he did cry because the sickness lasted for four months, but when he saw his little girl for the first time, he couldn’t care less about his phobia because she was more than perfect. More so than he ever imagined. 

Part 2

MN: comments won't make me feel less nauseous but it will definitely make me happier ;)