Jiwon woke up at seven with the first light of the day. His eyes were trying to get used to the clarity and he could see how difficult it was to breathe when a thick shape of blankets were pressing his stomach.

He felt his mouth plumy as he was starting to coordinate the different parts of his body trying to reach reality and abandon the soft and warm stunning where dreams had been drowning him during the night.

It was hard to get rid of the sheets knowing that they were going to be alone at home for the rest of the day whilst he was going to sit on the table and pretend to be attentive. The reality was exactly the opposite of that: Jiwon liked what he was studying but, even if it can sound a bit narcissist or impolite, he already knew all the things teachers were trying to explain in a way that it sounded more difficult than what it was inside of the boy’s head.

He rubbed his face trying to wake and feel a bit more positive. College wasn’t what he thought when he got in, and people were driving him crazy with stupid questions and those looks of contempt that made his blood burn inside of his veins. Jiwon wasn’t the type of boy that could catch the attention of girls (and his degree hadn’t many girls in the classes) or raise the admiration of boys, and obviously his love for computers and components wasn’t going to help him being popular or at least interesting for the normal humans habiting in the planet.

His house was a lonely place. There was a kind of strange feeling inside those four walls composing his bedroom, actually he liked to cover the white painting with different posters and photos of people he wished to be. He always dreamed of being someone important, bathing with money and having people around him showing their love to him. And he believed that it could happen someday even though most of the Stars nowadays can explain you how misunderstood the concept of being “popular” and “famous” is.

Jiwon put on his college uniform and tried to iron his t-shirt with his own hands. It was a desperate intent of being formal but instead he got a crease at the level of the chest.

His mom wasn’t the type of giving a soft kiss in the cheek before going to school, neither the type of having breakfast cooked. She was more like… like those parents you can’t see because they’re attracted to work in different ways. The boy always felt like he was part of the furniture of the house than her son, and sometimes a thought crossed his mind when he was witnessing the love between his parents: they could kiss, hug and give love but he was like a hobby for them or a dog in a village you can drop. Sometimes his father asked for marks when he was in high school, not really interested because he already knew the answer.

“That’s my boy”, was the only thing he heard during his life.

It was a grey day. Clouds were filling the whole sky Jiwon could see with his little slanted eyes and he was noticing little drops decorating his clothes. Normally he carried his laptop to university but that day was the beginning of the ending project and he didn’t need anything but his brain. Those weeks were another reason for not going to school. He hadn’t many friends and too many enemies; unfortunately he had to coexist with the second ones.

The way was easy to remember, his house wasn’t far from the street where the building was placed and he could do the journey with his feet instead of taking an expensive car to show off how much money his parents had.

It took him fifteen minutes to see the facade made of grey stone and garnet ivy with those big windows which filtered the light from outside into the classes. From his position it was difficult to identify faces or study tables, maybe because of the light or the composition made of glass particles that didn’t let the light pass through them and turned the material into an opaque deadlight.

 

That college was expensive. It was a private university where people with well-accommodated bank accounts could bring their offspring to abandon the problem somewhere else and only ask for good marks (and if not, they usually paid a little to raise them).

Those incomes made the college a good place to be, with long tables in the cafeteria and quality drinks and foods. Jiwon liked the hot chocolate the most so he usually leaved early home to have breakfast with his best friend even when he could enjoy few minutes more of sleep.

Jiwon felt he was going to experience an explosion inside of his head. He didn’t sleep more than four hours and his guts were threatening with finding the exit at the point of his mouth. His boats were sinking in the moist soil so he had the perception it was even more difficult to walk towards the entry. How many times did he dream with not crossing that corridor and run until he didn’t see the building? He couldn’t count them; every morning he felt the need of leaving that place, find somewhere he could be happy or at least have the opportunity of trying.

A little sigh escape his lips. What could he do? He had to finish the studies and find a good job, get married, have kids and then feel depressed for the rest of his life because he couldn’t reach any of his dreams.

Maybe the point of wanting to be rich hadn’t any relation with the money and the power. Inside of the boy’s brain it was all about independence. Money gives you independence, since if you have money you can live on your own, you have no problems, you can pay a house, a car, travel and nothing can stop you. That’s exactly what he wanted: run; because once he walked through the big metal bar door of the campus, he wouldn’t be able to feel safe.

“You should be grateful”, he told himself, whispering to the other side of his who was trying to drown him in those rebel intentions, “you should be grateful for being the first student in the ranking, you should be grateful for your marks, your scholarships, your projects, your teachers…”

But he wasn’t. Not because he was an ungrateful person or he didn’t value the importance of things, but because he was suffering things most of the people shouldn’t. He knew Korean kids used to be under pressure of their parents and feel depressed at least the years of secondary school, working hard and letting his bodies feel sick only to get a number next to his name. Jiwon always thought it was stupid and managed to increase his intelligence without exposing his own mental health to aggressive methods of classifying people in “smart: I want you to work for me the rest of your ing life” or “you can expend the days you have left living serving coffees”.

Jiwon felt good during his childhood. He hadn’t good parents and, of course, they didn’t take good care of him, but he had his older brother always by his side, giving advices, supporting and cheering him to get his achievements. Unfortunately people grow and when the pain started and things got worse, he wasn’t there to witness his problems.

 

As he got into the hall, the image of his brother crossed his mind. Yes, he had an older brother called Jihyo who was living in France at that time. He remembered his brother as someone important to him when he was a child; someone caring and sweet, someone who would do anything for his younger brother. Jiwon always knew he was lucky for having him as family, but now the boy was thousand of kilometers away from him and he could do nothing but to feel lonely and forgotten.

His older brother was Korea’s number four of his promotion and had an amazing job in an engineering company as international negotiator. He missed him so much, he could perceive the absence of Jihyo in every corner of his house; and when Jiwon asked him as a mania when he was going to go see him, the only answer he had in return was always: “I had nothing in Korea with the exception of you”.

That boy hated his parents for a long time, but Jiwon couldn’t remember why or how it was shown during his kid period. Jihyo was five years older than him and the last memory inside of the younger brother was him waving his hand alone in the airport holding his school bag with his left hand as his eyes were analyzing the door that the other had crossed seconds ago. Jiwon was 17 back then and he remembered how hard was hearing the other’s voice through the telephone saying he wouldn’t be able to go to his promotion party and the congratulations of his brother’s sweet and calmed voice for being the first in the school.

“ –Everything OK at home? – Jihyo said. It was 1 AM in France and he didn’t want to awake his girlfriend. Jiwon could see his brown eyes, as clear as his, almost closed because of the hour. – I know I should be there, but you know, my job…

-It’s okay – Jiwon interrupted – I’m fine, the party wasn’t that good.

-Did you flirt with someone? Tell me, any girlfriend? Do you like someone?

-There’s no one, hyung. I don’t like anyone.

-Everybody has a crush!

-I don’t – Jiwon felt irritated but even so, he smiled. His brother was his brother and somehow he wanted to mend the fact he wasn’t there to ask it face to face. – I got a place in Todai. They want me there.

The only thing Jiwon heard was his brother’s breath on the other side of the telephone. He doubt for a second, maybe the line fell whilst they were talking but soon he perceived the intent of talking the other had for a moment.

-Wow… Jiwonnie, that’s… that’s great. Seriously, ah… Japan!

-You don’t seem happy- his words sounded harsh, cold. He had never told his brother something like that because he hadn’t the opportunity to do so. Part of him was expecting an explosive reaction and maybe it was because the hour wasn’t the appropriate but somehow Jiwon felt his chest was losing part of his happiness.

His hands held the telephone firmly; his mouth was drawing a thin line of discontent and he frowned until the other part of the conversation decided to talk again.

-I’m happy for you, I really am, but, Jiwon, did mom tell you?

-Tell me what?

He heard silence; silence that were installed between both for seconds that looked like hours, like days.

For years he dreamed with escaping and Todai was one of the best universities in the world. It was a private college and accomplished the impossible: a scholarship covering every expense.

-Dad will be in the States for eight months or more, he’s going to be part of a lawyer conference to give some advices to different companies. You have to take care of her.

-She can take care of herself!- he exclaimed. His dreams were falling slowly as his brother was telling him the news. He had to know them through someone in a different continent when in his house both of his parents were having breakfast happily downstairs.

-Jiwon-ah…

-Don’t tell me family is the most important thing. You run! You run out of here and left me alone. Do you remember? You try to be a good son but you’re out of here, you only have to make a phone call once a week, that’s your only responsibility. I have to take mom to the hospital every Friday, I have to be at home at five when dad leaves just to control she doesn’t fade. I brush her hair, clean her when she doesn’t feel okay and cook dinner. I have to watch her paining, help her with documents for her surgery and hold her hair when she throws up. And I managed to be the second better in Korea. The second one! Why are you trying to screw everything up? I need to get out of here just like you did.

-Don’t be like that. Wonnie I took a job, I’m not far from home because I want to.

-That’s bull!- he screamed – is that what you tell yourself at night to be able to sleep? Don’t bother calling me again.

And he hanged up and stayed still, quiet, in silence. He’d just told his brother what he always thought but didn’t feel any better. Jihyo wasn’t the type of person that liked people reproaching but he did run away when he could and was trying to tie him to that house. And Jiwon also wanted to escape from that place, wanted to be free, wanted to fly away from what he had always known.

He couldn’t get out of the room that day, and when he gathered the energy to do so, the only thing he could see was the different letters he had, the e-mails in his laptop, the information every university gave him as a door he needed to cross. Japan, United States, Switzerland, London, different corners of the world wanted him to be there, wanted him to be part of his projects and were giving him the opportunity to chase his dream of being someone important.

Jiwon spent the day reading over and over again the invitations, deciding inside of his head which decision he should make, what he should do. And had no answer because the only thing he wanted was morally wrong and wondered if, if chose incorrectly, he would be able to live with it.”

 

His mom recovered a year after, when Jiwon was in the second year. The cancer was cleaned and extracted out of her body and things were again as they always were. The boy was part of the house, like a wall or a sofa, or maybe more like a lamp with a useless bulb because his parents looked like they liked their couch.

Two years ago he decided to go to the University of Korea, in Seoul. Just fifteen minutes away of his house and his dad was back from the States.

He forgot buying him a gift.

 

Jiwon was studying informatics, nothing special at first sight but he collaborated with some of the physics students to do projects and expose their inventions in fairs and competitions.

He did regret the decision but didn’t think about it. Seoul’s university wasn’t bad and even though he thought about Tokyo every morning as he was walking way to class, he also had an idea of how many things he would have lost if taken that decision.

He had his best friend there and he also met some teachers that made his journey easier. His Software Engineering teacher was amazing and he loved working with him out of the class. Some people called Jiwon arse-er but he didn’t mind. Mr. Kwon wasn’t the type of man he liked. Well, maybe he didn’t know what type of men he liked but he was his teacher and just enjoyed talking about things they hadn’t seen in class yet.

 

-Maybe we should change the nomenclature after going on with the project. It can give us some problems if we keep programming this way. – Yunhyeong said when they were sitting in the cafeteria.

-What if they put us in different teams?

-We can ask Mr. Kwon to be together, he loves you after all.

Jiwon rolled his eyes smiling. His best friend was joking but the real life wasn’t that easy. He wasn’t anyone to ask for a favor and they were together in projects since they met. Jiwon always thought about the probability of separation they had: the first and the second in class always together; however, it never happened.

-I think nomenclature is okay. We should be starting with the connection among clouds and then try to set the information net. Just as test we can connect the cloud with the…

-Not like that- Yunhyeong intervened, resting his cup of coffee in the table to free his hands and take out of his bag a white paper to start drawing different lines.- we can’t go that fast, if we leave something behind we won’t be able to go back.

Yunhyeong was a nice boy, with charming smile and a very pretty face that could get the attention of anybody in the building. His skin was darker than normal like if he passed the whole summer in a southern country and employing a lot of hours in the beach. Yun’s nose was also attractive, he had masculine factions and black deep eyes that made Jiwon feel like if he was staring at a puppy the whole time.

-We can always go back.

-And start over again after deleting things; I’m not working for nothing, Jiwon. Just listen. If we change the format we can go faster. After cleaning the HTML writing of the program we can start the connection.

-We can’t stop on that. It’s silly and useless. Are we gonna keep bothering about child games? HTML is not something important, even someone with no idea about computers can do so. Just leave it to my dog, he can do it while we work on the connection.

-Why are you so careless? We can’t fail on that. The connection needs thinking.

-No- Jiwon felt irritated. Both had different ways of working and it was clearly installing difficulties between them. All their projects had fights in between but in the end they’d always reached an agreement.- listen, we have to set a base for creating the computer from cero. We can use some elements as rotaxano and…

-Are you kidding me? Are we programming or using nanotechnology?

-We can combine b…

-No! We said we were gonna do this.

The boy sighed. There was nothing to do with Yunhyeong getting angry so he bowed his head with not an exactly direction, as if he was nodding a bit upset.

Classes were as boring as always. Mr. Kwon’s subject was the only one Jiwon tried to pay attention and listen to his words even though programming was something easy for him. The boy had been programming since he was eleven and in university everybody in that class was a bit lost except some of his classmates on the top of the ranking marks. Yunhyeong was the second one followed by a boy called Kihyun, another whose name was Minhyuk and the fifth: the only girl in that class, Yongbyul. The rest of them were good, for example Junhoe and Donghyuk, both teammates were always fighting but ended up doing great projects and exposing them in the university’s theatre. Jiwon could remember one about the processing of the voice in a computer program that could transform the music into words and vice versa. He was having fun with Yunhyeong before the exposition but then, when Junhoe arrived, Jiwon left as fast as he could.

It could be said that they hadn’t a good relationship. Or something like that.

Jiwon didn’t do well at school when he was younger. He hadn’t many friends being a kid and it didn’t changed when he got into secondary school. He met Yunhyeong and Junhoe in the same class and also some other students that were now in the same university but not in the same degree.

They all came from the same private school but not in the same way. Junhoe was never a friend of his, not in primary school, not in middle school and, for sure, not in high school. Jiwon’s hell started in middle school when the insults and pushes in the halls turned into punches and kicks.

It is commonly known that nerds are not welcomed in any part of the world even when Korea has (with Japan) the highest level of game addicts of the Planet. He wasn’t that type of nerd but the one who liked creating his own computer from nothing. When he was nine years old he bought with his money (saved from the Christmas period) different parts in an informatics store near his school: heatsink and fan, memory, power supply, CPU, DVD burner, hard drive, video card and the expensive motherboard only to probe himself and build his information processing system to have fun.

After that, he sold his creation and earned money to keep doing the same thing for almost two years.

So he stood the bullying for six years and managed to have the best marks. At first it was only in his school but then he started growing until he could not get any better. Seoul was small for him in that moment.

And he wanted to escape, was about reaching that freedom but it got reduced into nothing when he had to accept the enrolment in Korea’s university and found out that Junhoe did the same.

Months of peace appeared between them but when the first ranking came out and his name was on the top of it, war started again.

 

They walked to the class. The room was big, with white long tables and plastic chairs. Most of the people would think computer engineering would have big computers and wires. It wans’t. In fact the class was dirty and had too much dust under the seats. Students had to take notes before creating anything and all of that was what Mr. Kwon did: give sketches of how to program different systems, and then in real life do nothing. He didn’t mind, Jiwon always discovered something new in his classes but that day wasn’t about writing everything as fast as he could. Everyone was in his habitual position. The two boys sat in first line and waited until the teacher started reading a list of people.

-Pairs will be done by order. First with second, third with forth and so on…

As always, the two friends shared a conspirational smile and played with their hands on the table. Jiwon was listening and soon his second name came out of the teacher’s mouth.

-I’ll start with… ah… Song Dae Wan, your companion is Lee Chan Sik. Please select one of the topics hanged on the noticeboard and write down your names next to the one selected. –He looked at all of his students and realized most of them were like zombies. His eyes stopped when he saw the one written next and smiled to the girl of the class – Yongbyul you will be pairing with Kwak Seung Yang this time.

Time passed and all of them were tired of being there witnessing how the easiest topics were covered by all the members named before them. Jiwon was about giving up and leaving the class when his second name was said aloud.

-Kim Ji Won… you are going to make the project with… pa pa pa pa pa pa… -He repeated as he was following an invisible line in his list. – Wow! Koo Junhoe.

Yunhyeong straighten his back and stared at his teacher when his name was said before.

-Yunhyeong you’ll be working with Donghyuk.

-Impossible! It’s impossible I’m third. – He shouted. The boy dodged Jiwon’s hands and run out of the class. All of them knew where the boy was leading and they could do nothing but to stay until the teacher finished with the whole names.

Jiwon raised his hand to his eyebrows and brushed them tired. It was time to go back home, he didn’t want to hear Yunhyeong crying and cursing everyone around them just because of a ing number.

 

“-It means nothing- he remembered have said to his best friend time ago, when the boy ranked as seventh once – it’s just a number.

-It is a number for you, isn’t it? Because you’re the first one in college. Because you’re always first. And you don’t deserve it, do you listen to me? You don’t deserve it because you don’t work as hard as I do. You deserve nothing but a zero and an expulsion”.

 

A hand rested on his shoulder, firmly and masculine. His bones weakened under the pressure and he looked up to see Junhoe’s superiority smile.

-Guess we have to work together, nerdy. Do you know who will be doing the first task? Go for a coffee, we’ll start tonight.

-I’m not gonna be your serv…

-You are going to be. So shut up and be nice. I need to keep being second and if we lose I promise you there won’t be any day, any hour, any second to you to take a breath. Is it clear?

 

 

 

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Hi guys! after all this time we decided to upload the chapter. I know we took long to write this but I'm sure you understand that writing with another person is kind of difficult when you have to set up the details together. 

Right now both writers are busy so I hope you understand college and obligations reduce our writing time. I hope you forgive the mistakes done, none of us are english speakers and hope you have enjoyed the chapter!

 

See you soon with another one!