“Dara.. Mianhe! Mianhe… I promise to you that I will never see her again… Baby! Please.. I love you…” His brown eyes are getting teary as he pleads..

         But All I think about is how could he do this to me or why did he do this to me… Am I not enough so he just need kiko to be a supporter?!

“Why?! Why?! E-everytime I ask you if you still love her.. you said you didn’t! When t-there’s a time I let you choose you between us… Y-you choose me because you said you love me more than you love her… B-but w-why are y-you still seeing her?! Why jiyong?!! Why do you have to do this to me?! ” I said to him while I’m crying in front of him..

 I keep asking myself why did I have to wait for him just to have a confrontation when I know I’m the only one whose gonna hurt and be miserable in the end..

“I-uh…I.. I don’t know what to say… dara! I know I’m such a bastard for doing this to you.. B-but I don’t know how to explain.. I can’t! Please dara, Understand me and trust me that I love you very much.. ” He tried to convince me but there’s only one realization I’ve had.. all this time, he kept secrets to me and he confessed that it’s all true.. the scandals, the meetups and maybe even better than that.. who knows?!

“You’re only saying words jiyong! But how about my feelings?! How about your promise?! everytime there’s a scandal on the internet, newspaper and TV about you and her… how I see both of you very happy while I’m waiting you here…  I-I can’t be always a martyr.. I am very tired loving you.. I T-thought you’ll be different to my father.. I thought you love me… It’s all a lie! You’re love is a lie!!” every words I said it have a bittersweet in my tongue,.. It pricks my hearts everytime I look at jiyong eyes because I know I’m not the only one in his eyes..

“But I love you baby,… Please.. give me one more chance… This time I’ll prove to you… Please dara! Let’s make this work!! I’m sorry.. I’m sorry…. I’m sorry…. I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” he keeps repeating how sorry he is.. but my heart is now have a hole… a very big hole…  I can’t feel the sweet love I have with jiyong when the first time we confessed our love..

“I-i-I want you to leave jiyong….” There’s a finality in my voice as I go to the window and look up the sky…

He rushes at my direction and hug me very tight… even his hug feels cold to me… am I turning to a stone?!

“No! no! I won’t leave you even if you push me or even if sajangnim came here… I won’t go away.. I will never leave you… Please, baby! I love you! Don’t be like this!” He said as I feel water drops on my shoulder..

 “I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!! WALK OUT OF MY LIFE! I DON’T NEED YOU! DON’T YOU SEE HOW BROKEN I AM WHEN I’M WITH YOU?! DON’T YOU SEE HOW MISERABLE I AM WHEN YOU’RE ALWAYS THERE?!!! I-I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE.. SO LEAVE GD!” I burst out with anger and desperation…after that I felt numb on the inside… I look at him with a lifeless eyes.. there’s no more glittery or sparkling eyes that will look at him.. and he see it too..

He hide very well his tears and said..

“I-is this really you’re decision, sandara?”

“Go away!” I said for the last time.. and turn my back from him..

As I heard the door close.. I look at the guy who I love… but I burst into tears as I watch jiyong walk out in the door as if he’s walking out In my life forever..

“This is the last time you’ll cry dara… So give you’re best cry right now “as I said to myself and keep crying as my world crumbles and made it into the darkness that I’ve been afraid of..