ooo5 — JackJae
GOT7 Drabbles and OneshotsTitle: The Finish Line
Pairing: JackJae
Genre: Angst
Description: Jackson's hold on him already got loose and it's only Youngjae who's holding on now.
Requested by kimminah89 based on the song I Wanted You by Ina. I just hope this fits with what's in your mind but if not, feel free to tell me and I'll try to change it. ^^
Also, is it just me or the title seemed like a horror story? Whut.
Youngjae knew it.
Knew everything was over since five months ago.
Since Jackson came home smelling far from his scent, the aroma of alcohol mixing with a branded perfume a venomous combination that told everything despite how Jackson held his silence.
But like Jackson, Youngjae also did not said a word about it. Because he loved Jackson too much to grant him the freedom just yet.
Not yet.
It was selfish, he was fully aware; fully aware of the fact that in the three year relationship he had with Jackson, the older treated him like a crystal and now, Jackson doesn't know how to break it to him that he had already found another. And it hurts. Especially when an insecure I can't let you go was answered by a strained and pained I understand.
Jackson understood him. Understood his immaturity and cowardice in handling the situation, the biggest conflict they ever faced.
Weeks have passed since then.
Youngjae took Jackson to the places they used to go and Jackson only tolerated him without a question. They went to the street side where Jackson confessed to Youngjae over street foods, as he wiped a trail of sweet sauce on the corner of Youngjae's mouth.
Trying to take us back to where we were before
Youngjae could vividly recall how hard and fast his heart had beat then. But now, as he gazed at Jackson chewing his cheap treat diligently, he could only register the heaviness that had permanently settled in his chest, the weight enough for his heart to fall to his stomach and he lost his appetite. Throwing his unfinished food aside, he entwined his fingers with Jackson's and walked to the park where they shared their first kiss.
He sat Jackson on the very same bench and went to get them ice cream from the very same vendor then. Youngjae smiled kindly as an appreciation as he took the cones, trying to add bounces of enthusiasm on his steps as he skipped back to Jackson. It was forced, and Youngjae knew that Jackson could see through it, too. But the both of them turned a blind eye on it.
"Here," Youngjae spoke cheerfully, plopping beside Jackson. "Vanilla, your favorite." Jackson accepted it with a small smile and a murmured Thanks which Youngjae replied with a nod, oblivious to the fact that Jackson had long switched his flavor into chocolate.
They ate in silence, before Youngjae noticed the ice cream on Jackson's upper lip. Memories of their first kiss played in his mind, how he was in the same position as Jackson, the frozen dairy above his mouth and how Jackson had cleaned it off using his own lips. Youngjae gulped, the intimate action they used to do daily seemingly a foreign move now as he thought about it, before leaning in to do the same thing Jackson did to him long ago. It was a brief contact, as chaste as the first time. But if before Youngjae felt giddy and happy, now he could feel the prominent ache in his heart worsen. Jackson's expression was one of caught off guard but at the same time melancholic, and Youngjae knew that it was impossible.
He could never patch up a two-way relationship alone.
But I'm done. I just can't do this anymore
He knew it.
He knew this moment was coming.
And the for the past five months, he had prepared himself for the inevitable.
'Cause we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now
It was painful, how clearly he had felt every minute Jackson slipped away from his grasp like a sand. It was almost unfair, but then again, he held Jackson back too, and it was the justice of their broken love.
We've been walking around in circles for some time
With a fake beam, watering eyes and an unfinished ice cream, Youngjae stood up.
And I think we should head for the finish line
"Oh, I remembered Yugyeom asking me to help him with his project today. I'll see you, Jackson-hyung." He bid, and the fact that he said an indefinite I'll see you and not his usual I'll see you later did not escaped Jackson. So this was it.
The The end to their Happily ever after.
It broke Jackson, but not as much as it shattered Youngjae. "I'm sorry." Youngjae uttered and Jackson badly wanted to say it back, knowing how much the simple words held a lot of profound definitions but his tongue felt like lead.
"Good bye."
Then Youngjae spun around, and he knew that Jackson understood.
On his walk back to their shared apartment, Youngjae vaguely thought of how many his things were and how long it would take for him to pack it all. Though, he thought, it doesn't matter if I bring all of my belongings because I could never bring my most significant posession with me.
No matter how much effort he exert, something beyond repair is truly unfixable.
I wanted you, I wanted you
But it would never be enough.
— End
Okay, totally unedited. And my first JackJae ever. LOL. Bye world.
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