A/N: In case anyone notices, disclaimer that yes there are lyrics from a Cascada song by the same name in this fic and no I do not own the song, the lyrics or any property therein...except the story. That is mine.

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Sehun watches from his spot in the hallway while Luhan and Minseok sit under the tree, laughing and playing with each other.  He watches as Luhan smacks Minseok on the shoulder for some playful insult, watches as Minseok laughs louder, pushing Luhan back and ruffling his hair like the closest of friends.  He is unable to look away, mesmerized by the way they joke and tease each other, how comfortable they are just sitting together under the tree, wrapping presents and fun conversations. 

And then Minseok holds up that godforsaken leaf, holds it over Luhan's head and smirks, pointing a dainty finger up at the plant to inform Luhan.  The recently turned Black haired singer doesn't even need to look up.  He just leans forward from his place on his knees, casually, lovingly presses his hand onto Minseok's thigh and...

Sehun stops watching before they kiss.  He can't bring himself to watch the display of affection any further.  Honestly, it all makes him want to vomit, makes him wish he could go back there and take Minseok by the neck and throw him down a flight of steps.  But he needs self-control and patience, and let's be honest, if Minseok didn't succeed in killing Sehun before he could get him down stairs, Luhan would somehow manage to stop him.  Those two hyungs are formidable, even if they look like the weakest links in the band.  

There is nothing he can do but turn on his heel and leave the room with a sigh, the empty spot where his heart used to be aching at the repeating image of how happy Luhan looked. 

What did I do wrong? He questions himself with a depressed sigh, a longing breath of air.  He thought they were happy.  He thought it was true love.  But that's the thing about love, isn't it?  You can feel like you're so absorbed in the person, can think that everything is mutual, but the instant you get too attached, they can just as easily pull away and run, taking your heart and bruised feelings with them.  Just like before, just like how Luhan took his heart and crushed it into tiny, tiny pieces. 

"Couldn't he have at least chosen someone who wasn't in the band?"  He mumbles under his breath, turning to corner to return back to his dorm. 

"Love , doesn't it?"  Sehun jumps out of his skin, has to hurl a hand over his mouth to keep from screaming like a little .  There, leaning against the wall, face smug and eyes trained on Sehun with amusement is Tao, his long, lean figure dressed in a black cotton long-sleeve with the sleeves rolled up and black jeans that hug his thighs and hips, accentuating his crotch and for everyone to admire.  In this moment, with the way his lips are contorted into a smirk, his body comfortably balanced against the white material of the wall, Tao honestly reminds Sehun of a cat.  There's something so mysterious, so independent about him that just screams predator and he wonders, like always, how Tao became known to the camera as a Panda when he should clearly be associated with a panther. 

"Tao?  What are you doing just standing here?" Sehun asks, ignoring the line that nearly caused him a heart attack.  In classic Tao fashion, the lean male doesn't answer, he just shrugs his shoulders casually and changes his stance so it's his back perched on the wall, not his side. 

"Was it fun, watching Luhan and Minseok play house without you, the precious maknae?"  There's a tone of mocking and a tone of suffering in his voice, like he's trying to tease Sehun but being stopped by something in his own heart.  

"The best fun I've ever had." Sehun drawls sarcastically, not even caring to be polite with his language.  Not like Tao even gives a about image maintenance anyway.  "Why were you spying on them?" 

Tao snorts as he stands off the wall, uncrossing his arms and legs and pushing his hair back with an uncaring glare in Sehun's direction.  "There is a difference between eavesdropping and happening to overhear." He scolds, poking two fingers into Sehun's forehead as he steadily strides past him.  "Learn it." 

Sehun watches him go, shaking his head at how strange the youngest Chinese member is.  Of all the mysteries in their dorm, Tao is certainly the most confusing. 

*** 

He sighs again, reclines in his chair after a long day of arduous practice. Joonmyun has been really rigorous with training lately.  Since the last battle went awry, ending with Yixing wasting pretty much all of his strength to ensure that no one was left in critical health, Joonmyun has been very strict with keeping them all in shape with their powers.  He schedules practices and sparring matches any time they have free time that doesn't involve eating or sleeping.  Their studies of worldly magic and enemy plans have become even more in depth and back-breaking, leaving Sehun not only exhausted from learning to create tornadoes and typhoons, but tired out from studying pamphlets and ancient scripts that aren't even his forte. 

It's because of this that Sehun is taking a much needed breather.  Because he's been working hard, not just on the field, but in the classroom.  He honestly doesn't want to fall behind on his knowledge, especially when he knows that he's competing against morons like Jongin and Baekhyun, one who needs the help of his alter ego to even do anything and the other too useless to even pick up a book without falling asleep.  And don't let him forget about Chanyeol, the bastard who can't even melt ice with the flames from his pinky finger.  And please, for you own good, don't mention him. 

It's not out of spite that Sehun glares at him as he limps into the room, hissing from the sharp pain in his side.  Arguably, Sehun got a little carried away in the sparring match today, but on the other hand, Minseok had it coming.  With the way he was bouncing around the arena, not really paying attention to any of his opponents and just trying to showoff how easy it was for him to turn the entire place into his own personal skating rink had been a bit too much for Sehun.  But that doesn't mean he meant to blow him away, sending him right into the path of one charging Kris.  Nor does it mean it was an accident.  Though Sehun didn't mean for it to happen, that doesn't mean he wouldn't do it again.  

Though, the look he received from Luhan for doing something so reckless was a little unnerving, but can you blame him?  Sehun has a short fuse, okay? 

He watches the shorter, plumper male as he walks through the room, trying to pretend like he's strong while he makes subtle hissing sounds under his breath.  Sehun wishes he could hit him again or tell him off for being a little , but the sad truth is that he really has no place.  As far as everyone else is concerned, Sehun is the one at fault, not Xiumin.  But if you were to ask him, he'd gladly tell you that Xiumin just happened to get in the way of his attack.  Nothing Sehun can really do about that, now is there? 

"Are you okay, Minnie?"  Sehun almost cringes, just barely stops himself, as Luhan comes strolling into the room, concern clear on his face.  He spots Sehun comfortably settled on the couch and nearly gives him a leer, but he is stopped as Yixing comes stumbling in behind him, clearly winded and obviously nearing his limit.  

"Of course he's not okay!  I've been trying to heal him for the past two hours and he just keeps walking away, telling me it's not a big deal!" Yixing scolds, pausing in his pursuit of the eldest to catch his breath, slumped over with hands pressed firmly on his knees. 

"Because it's not!  Worse has happened before."  Xiumin reminds them, sending Luhan and Yixing an annoyed glare. 

"Yeah, it has, but at least they let me work my magic!" Yixing argues back, tone venomous and words lashing.  Sehun sighs and tries to resettle into his seat, unable to really find comfort in it when he can feel Luhan glaring death at him. 

"What are you sighing about over there? Upset because we're not showing you any attention?"  The words sink deep in like the tip of a knife, cutting at the surface of Sehun's empty chest.  It hurts like a paper cut, so small and invisible to the eye and yet it stings more than the worst of stab wounds.  And it's not like Yixing can heal something like heartache. 

"No," he says in slight irritation, "I'm just wallowing in guilt." He spits sarcastically.  Luhan's eyes narrow, the color darkening, irises sparkling.  Sehun can feel his power working on him, can feel how Luhan is impressing himself upon him, trying to do him harm from far away.  He feels the pain leak in through his pores, the way it starts as a tiny pressure and then turns into a sudden burn.  It's like an itch everywhere that he can't scratch, that he won't let himself scratch.  He tries to ignore it, fights against the burning sensation as long as he can before it turns into full on agony and bone-twisting torture.  

He doesn't realize he was squirming, screaming in pain until it all stops and he finds himself in tears on the ground, holding his chest in a fetal position, staring up at a still seething Luhan.  He's disappointed--and a little hurt--to just see Yixing and Xiumin ignoring him, more focused on getting Xiumin's wounds treated than the fact Luhan just used his powers on him--something that goes against pretty much every ally code in the book.  But he finds solace in the fact that instead, Kris and Suho stand in the doorway, one stoic as always and the other just as furious as Luhan. 

"What is going on in here?" Suho asks, hands planted firmly on his hips. 

"Punishment." Luhan snarls, not at all afraid of Suho.  He turns his dangerous eyes off Sehun and focuses them instead on Suho. "He got what he deserved for his stunt today." 

"You don't have the authority to make decisions like that," Kris reminds him, voice firm, face bored.  "It was an accident, the guilt alone is punishment enough." 

Luhan scoffs.  "An accident?  You don't accidentally misuse your powers, Kris!  Only amateurs make mistakes."  His eyes when they look at Sehun are mocking, insulting, and infuriating.  Sehun wants to blow him away--literally--or rip him apart in a storm, but he knows he can't do that.  Although his attack wasn't intentional, he can't really defend himself in this situation.  If he speaks up he's at fault and if he stays silent he's no better than the weakest link.  He's caught in a rough spot, unable to say he's sorry because he isn't, but feeling like he has to so he can redeem himself. 

Unfortunately, Suho and Kris have eyes trained on Sehun now, staring him down even as he's still seated on the floor, honestly afraid to move and further provoke Luhan to attack him.  

"Sehun-ah, you didn't mean to hurt Xiumin, right?" Suho asks, voice soft and eyes kind.  He's in mothering mode, trying to be comforting and approachable, but Sehun knows this is just making everything worse.  His sympathy is only going to put Luhan into more of a mood, make him upset at the favoritism for the baby. 

And just as he thinks, "Oh come on, Suho! Are you really going to pity him? He's not a ing child, he's old enough to know how to be careful!" 

Suho glares at him, pointing a steady finger in his direction as a warning. "I didn't ask for your opinion! I'll get your side of the story once I'm done with him!" 

"But he's not the victim, Xiumin is!" Luhan protests, foot stomping childishly.  "Because of him, Yixing has to waste more of his energy healing Xiumin! If he had just been careful and not vindictive, we'd have a healer who doesn't look like he aged five years!" 

"That doesn't give you the right to use your power on him! At least damage from Sehun's power can be healed!" Suho spits back, watching as Luhan's teeth grit.  They're staring each other down, anger painted in both of their eyes.  Clearly Suho sees this from Sehun's perspective, but the maknae knows that Luhan is too stubborn to change his mind and until retribution is had, he won't be satisfied. 

But he also forgot about Kris.  "Both of you are being stupid little s right now." He scolds, arms crossing over his chest.  " happens.  If you're going to be petty and hold grudges, I don't see why either of you are still here." 

Luhan growls. "Why don't you take your opinion and shove it up your !" 

"Maybe next time." Kris deadpans, picking at his ear.  "In the meantime, how about you learn to control yourself a little better?  Both of you." He turns on his heel, stopping and looking over at Suho briefly.  "Come on, we have real work to do." 

Suho nods, though he still has a hard expression trained on Luhan.  "I'm watching you.   up one more time and I'll--"

"Enough!" Kris bellows, grabbing Suho's arm and dragging him away from the argument.  "Let's go." 

Sehun watches them walk away, feeling dread slowly seep into his skin now that hate is focused back on him again.  He doesn't dare to look at Luhan, doesn't dare to breathe for fear of what's about to come. He hears what sounds like a mirthless snort, feels the first tiny itch of Luhan's powers on his skin, the initial burn and then

It stops.  "Didn't mommy and daddy tell you to do something more productive?" 

Sehun looks up, watching as Tao stares down Luhan.  He's not defending Sehun, though.  Instead he's standing by Xiumin and Yixing, protecting them.  He's standing as a shield, providing a barrier that keeps them outside of the time-scheme Sehun and Luhan are fighting in.  Sehun knows because Tao's eyes have flecks of gold amidst the angry black like tiny, burning stars.  He realizes, watching Tao stand there, that Yixing and Xiumin probably didn't stop Luhan because Tao didn't let them see the fight. 

And that is somehow comforting. 

"Stay out of this, Tao.  This is none of your concern." Tao snickers. 

"Well, actually, it is." He smiles at Luhan, though there is anything but pleasantries hidden in his eyes.  "You see, while you were playing with the maknae here, I was transporting Xiumin and Yixing to a separate time-zone, a different dimension if you will.  I've been kind enough to block out your grating voice, too, but if you don't let up this stupid grudge of yours, I'm afraid we'll find out just how forgiving Yixing and Xiumin can be when you're just adding stress to the group."  His eyebrow in warning, arm rising into the air, fingers poised and ready for a snap.  

Tao's eyes narrow just as Luhan groans in defeat. 

He stalks out of the room, but not without bumping into Sehun first.  

The moment he's gone, Sehun turns to Tao, mouth open and ready to thank him for the effort.  However, all that comes out is a gasp, a raspy scream of "TAO" as he watches the time-wielder's eyes flutter, the way his body slowly sinks to its knees, falling limply on his side. 

Sehun scurries on his hands and knees across the wooden floor, fingers sinking into Tao's clothes and skin as he shakes him in an effort to rouse him.  The raven haired male doesn't wake, doesn't shift.  He just lies there, eyelids trapped over black irises and face set in a final look of exhaustion. 

This time when Sehun screams, he makes sure every Hyung can hear him. 

But no one comes running. 

***

He walks back into the bedroom balancing both coffee cups in his hands while holding a bag of fresh muffins in the other.  He barely has the ability to open the door, has to keep it propped with his foot as he manages to shimmy his way through the tight space without spilling anything or dropping it all on the floor.  But that effort, all of it, goes for naught the moment he looks at the bed. 

Floors be damned, Sehun lets the two coffees fall to the floor as he launches himself at the chair beside the bed, diving to sit in it but missing and landing instead on the bed.  He hears a pained oof, feels the hand pushing at him, but he doesn't care. 

He lets himself stay there, face planted in Tao's chest and enjoying the unsteady rise and fall of his chest. For him, the mere fact that Tao has awoken from a three day slumber is more important than the fact he's probably a little too heavy to be using Tao as a pillow.  But the longer he stays there, breathing in the clean smell of fresh sheets mixed with the musky smell of Tao, he's relaxed and calm like he hasn't been in a while.  He can hear Tao's heart beating under his ear, can hear the sounds of his gurgling stomach and feel every muscle move when Tao shifts and adjusts, apparently realizing that Sehun has no intentions of moving.  

Then Sehun feels thin, long digits slowly running through his hair, feels the light caress of Tao's fingers whilst he pets his head.  Normally Sehun would find the action demeaning, would find the voice to call Tao out on the action, but it's just so...relaxing.  He's lulled into a near sleep state, drawing in long, deep breaths as his eyes lazily blink and body molds to Tao's legs and the edge of the bed.  His position is the slightest bit uncomfortable, but right now, he couldn't care less.  

He's at ease and loving it. 

But all good things must come to an end.  "You couldn't have found a better place to fall, could you have?" Tao teases.  His voice is husky from sleep, a deep rasp invading the normally crisp tone.  Sehun gulps when it meets his ears, tries to beat down the shiver that threatens up his spine.  He hopes Tao can't feel his heart quicken or his breath hitch. He hopes he wouldn't ask questions even if he does. 

"What do you mean?" Sehun asks after a pause, refusing to turn his head and look at Tao for fear of doing something stupid.  He doesn't know what it is that's bubbling up inside of him.  He figures it's probably gratitude and relief.  After all, he has spent the last three days tirelessly watching over Tao without a care for practice, sparring or any scolds any of the hyungs could give him.  

But Tao, he doesn't need to know about any of that. "I have three days worth of piss ready to come out and you fell right on my bladder." Sehun jumps up at that, looking up at Tao with horror in his eyes.  Tao doesn't meet his eyes though.  Instead he slithers out of the covers and rushes passed him. 

But not before his long- hand brushes Sehun's shoulder, fingers dragging along the exposed skin of his arm in a touch just long enough to not be casual.  The problem is: Sehun doesn't know what to think of it.  

He's kind of afraid to ask. 

When Tao comes back, he makes the wise decision not to.  

"Are you okay?" He asks instead, eyes full of worry and body stiff with anticipation.  Tao rolls his eyes, face settled into an expression of amused cynicism.  

"No, I'm going to die any second now."  Sehun's eyes widen a fraction of an inch and Tao shakes his head. "Yes, I'm fine.  I just exhausted my power.  Sending people to a different dimension is tiring, keeping them there is exhausting. Which reminds me: did they ever get back?"  Sehun nods his head, unable to not smile when he now knows that Tao is okay and doesn't have the burden on his back of worrying.  

"Yeah, they're fine.  No one even knew you fainted." Tao snorts, though it's anything but humorous. 

"Well, that's relieving."  Sehun frowns, unable to stop himself when he can see the negative expression clouding Tao's eyes. 

"Don't worry about that.  It's done and over with now." He reminds him, taking a step closer to Tao.  He stops when the elder male holds up a hand, giving him a hard, but neutral look. 

"That it is.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have things to take care of." With that, Tao turns from him, hands clasped behind his back and focus pointed at the covered window.  Sehun wants to say something, wants to remind him that he sacrificed time to take care of him when no one else gave a . 

But instead, he just nods his head, turns and leaves through the door, sighing all the way. 

***

This time Sehun sneaks up on Tao.  It's an accident, really it is, but he doesn't regret it.  Because he finds a sight you don't see often with the raven-haired male.  He finds him off guard, defenses down and attentions focused on a single, parting scene.  With him there, standing in the doorway, he can't see what Tao is watching, but he knows how Tao looks when he's focused on something, the way his back hunches slightly and his shoulders sag forward a bit.  But something is a bit off...there's this slight...tremor down the length of his body, a slight shiver, but it's not the good kind. 

It's worrying enough that Sehun tip toes forward.  The closer he gets, the more the scene plays out before him, the more his heart opens up to the male blocking the entrance to the living room. 

He just barely rounds into Tao's peripheral vision when he gets the full picture of Kris and Suho, the parents of the dorm sitting under the tree with wrapped presents all around them.  Unlike their normal calm and strict demeanors, Sehun finally sees them relaxed and playful, smiling at each other as Suho throws unused wrapping paper at Kris's face.  The taller, older of the two retaliates with a handful of fluff and ribbons, tossing the decor at Suho with a deep, resonating laugh.  Their leader reciprocates it, laughing hard enough to crumble into pieces, even as Kris approaches with ribbon and a bow. 

Sehun watches from the sidelines as Kris wraps the ribbon around Suho's neck, tying it into a cute, little bow.  He smiles again, but this one is different.  It's light and gentle, almost as gentle as the caress Kris uses to lift Suho's cheek.  There's chemistry and connection, a moment of bright smiles and love that passes between them, a second of happiness that is shared in a mutual show of affection. 

Sehun misses the kiss, interrupted by a stifled sob at his side.  

When he sees the culprit, he feels the empty spot where a heart used to be break further into two--one piece shattered for himself and the other shattered for an equally destroyed Tao. 

"Tao..."

"It's funny, right? Last Christmas I gave him my heart, but the very next day he gave it away."  Tao doesn't look at Sehun, doesn't even acknowledge that Sehun is the person beside him.  All he does is keep his golden-rimmed black eyes trained on the happy couple in front of him.  "I watched from a distance as he slipped through my fingers knowing that if he were to ask, I'd come back in a flash." 

Sehun nods his head in understanding.  "And even now, you're just happy he's happy, but you can't help wanting him back, watching him every second you get and hoping he'll fall through the cracks and come running back to you."

"Yeah, but now I know what what kind of fool I've been." Tao clarifies, tearing his eyes away to look at Sehun.  "And you will, too, all in good time." 

Sehun just smiles up at him, taking a step closer confidently.  "You know, now that I've seen what true love is, I won't be fooled again." His expression settles into a smirk as he takes that last step beyond the boundary, mere centimeters from Tao. 

He's been warned more than once by Tao to keep his distance when he's using his power.  He's been told again and again that he's never felt the pull of time or what it's like to not be in any dimension of time at every second.  He knows this is a bad idea, but at the same time...what does he have to lose? 

"This year, to save me from tears, I plan to give my heart to someone special." Sehun whispers, slowly reaching out to cup Tao's cheek.  He feels the ripple of space, the initial tug as his body is forcefully dragged into the anti-dimension that is Tao.  It hurts, a bit, stings on his human flesh, but he sees all the inspiration he needs. 

He sees the longing and pain in Tao's eyes, the last hint he needs to know this is wanted, that this is okay. 

He carefully brings their lips together and even as he feels time start and stop, elongate and shorten around him, he blames it on the butterflies flying around in his stomach, the burst of energy he gets when Tao's arm shoots out around his waist, dragging him along the floor and up against his body. 

For the first time in a while, Sehun feels right.  Even as time fluctuates and the dimensions protest, the purr of content Tao releases against his lips makes up for it. 

Now he's found a new love. 

And it can never fool him again, or Tao. 

And he knows, just by the shy smile Tao offers when they finally pull apart, that this year, he's given his heart to someone special.