The first chance that they had was all a play. Both were not serious and both were just feeling empty. The late night messaging slowly turned into constant flirting which then escalated to an unofficial relationship status. Luhan is a pretty boy with a nice heart while Sehun is feared by many and is a typical troublemaker. Weird combination but nothing mattered to them as long as they’re happy and contented, everything’s fine.

                Their relationship was different and Luhan knows that. A friend once asked them, “forever?” but unlike other couples, they replied, “It doesn’t matter. We can never tell what will happen in the future. But while it’s here, enjoy it.”

                Forever isn’t their goal. Present is the only thing that matters.

                Like other relationships, theirs was also not perfect. Distance became a problem. And new people became a hindrance. Luhan met Kris.

                “I think he likes you, Lu!” Baekhyun, Luhan’s new friend, stated.

                “No, he doesn’t.” Luhan objected.  He couldn’t explain the sudden tingly feeling in his stomach hearing Baekhyun’s statement but he was familiar to the new emotion that he felt when Baekhyun said, “And I can feel you like him too.” Yes, he got scared. Scared for Sehun’s smiling face suddenly appeared in his mind.

                Baekhyun would frequently about Kris that it started going in his head. Maybe, this is the end for us, maybe our present is over. Luhan thought as he dialed Sehun’s number with shaking fingers. His heart was beating loudly. Half of him wanted Sehun to answer the call but half of him doesn’t. Am I doing the right thing? Luhan can’t help but question himself. The image of Kris and the guilt enveloped him appeared… and that’s when Sehun answered the call.

                One phone call and it’s over.

                Luhan wasn’t even able to describe how he felt after. How tears flowed without his permission. How he felt his heart being squeezed and stabbed. How incomplete and empty he felt. Maybe this is guilt. He was confused.

                It took a month for Luhan to realize what the problem was. And the realization hit him hard, so hard he couldn’t even look at Kris. The problem was he never liked Kris the way Baekhyun thought he does. He was just missing Sehun so bad that he thought Kris could be Sehun and he would be able to be with Sehun in form of Kris.

                He knew how bad he messed up. He already lost Sehun and the thought itself made him want to kill himself. Of course, he can’t do that. Sehun won’t be happy if he did. The regret was slowly eating him up. He would always cry himself to sleep and dream of Sehun. He became lifeless.

                But as they say, everybody deserves a second chance

                Kyungsoo is Luhan’s best friend and somehow Sehun’s friend.

                “Please Kyung, I just want to talk to him,” Luhan pleaded.

                “Then why don’t you?” Kyungsoo asked.

                “Because he might not respond to me and I don’t want that to happen…”

                So, Kyungsoo persuaded Sehun to talk to Luhan which of course made the pretty boy really happy. This was how their second chance started.

                It doesn’t matter who called who first, who went to who first. What matters is they have each other again. There’s them again. Luhan realized how much he missed Sehun. How much he missed the emotions a single text from Sehun brings him. And that’s when he vowed that he will protect their second chance. He won’t slip again. He won’t commit the same mistake twice. But as they say, not everything will go as we plan. Sehun’s the jealous type and Luhan liked it until it became hard for him to breathe.

                To Sehun, past should remain past forever but for Luhan, everything can be sorted. Enemies can create peace and exes can be friends. Kai entered the picture. Kai, Sehun’s ex-schoolmate and classmate and Luhan’s ex-boyfriend, destroyed everything Luhan tried to protect.

                Luhan tried to explain to Sehun that Kai was just asking to be friends, nothing more and that Kai has a new lover but Sehun would have none of it. He was stubborn and he believed his instincts more. Jealousy, anger, hatred, betrayal consumed Sehun’s heart. He wasn’t able to think straight.

                “FRIENDS?! FRIENDS?! WHO ARE YOU KIDDING, LUHAN! DO YOU THINK I’M STUPID!”

                “No, Sehun, please listen to me. It’s not like that at all, I think you’re misunderstanding thi-“

                “SO, ITS MY FAULT NOW. WHY DO YOU EVEN KEEP ON DEFENDING THAT HUH? DO YOU POSSIBLY STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM? ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?!”

                “WHAT?! NO! How can you even think like that! You know I only love you!”

                “HUH. LIKE I WOULD BELIEVE THE WORDS OF A . STOP LYING! LETS STOP THIS. WE’RE OVER.”

                Luhan tried to stop Sehun from walking away but even his tears can’t stop his love. He can’t do anything else. He lost him again. Luhan didn’t know what to do. The pain was too much. He felt like someone kept on stabbing him. Even his knees gave up, he didn’t have the energy to stand up anymore. Was it my fault? I screwed up again. Hunnie, please come back. Don’t leave me. I love you.

                He thought of killing himself again. He lost the only reason why he’s alive and he found no other reason to stay alive. With tears gushing out of his eyes, he summoned all the energy he had left and reached for the nearest sharp object which happened to be a blade.

                Cries. Only sound one can hear that night and even the rain pouring can’t cover the sounds. Luhan’s world crumbled down. He couldn’t breathe without Sehun but what can he do to bring Sehun back? Nothing. He tried. Heaven knows he did but it wasn’t enough.

                He wanted to die. And he tried, he tried killing himself but he can’t bring himself to do it. He doesn’t have the strength and heart to do it. Why? Why? Why?

               

 

                Luhan learned to cope up. He learned to put on a fake smile every day and muffle the sounds as he cries himself to sleep. He missed Sehun.

                He couldn’t even explain the joy he felt when Sehun contacted him again. Guess what? They got back together and Luhan couldn’t be happier.

                I love you, Lu

                I love you too, Hun.

                And that’s it. The end of their book three. Everything happened so fast Luhan didn’t even know what happened. How did they end again? He kept on asking but he couldn’t find the answer to his question. What happened?

                Luhan thought everything was just a dream and that illusion helped him. He didn’t cry again.

 

                Summer came, that’s when they met again. Luhan learned that Sehun really contacted him months ago and he wasn’t dreaming. He wanted to cry but couldn’t, he was too happy to see Sehun again and it didn’t help his heart when Sehun started flirting again.

                Luhan was confused. Should he send a signal back? Sehun seemed like he wanted Luhan back. He was about to indirectly confess to Sehun, when he learned that Sehun is a jerk. He had someone else. Sehun admitted he was playing with whoever he was with that time but that thought alone broke Luhan’s heart.

                Luhan thought he had no more tears to cry but that night proved him wrong. He didn’t even know how long he cried. But that night, he swore, he swore that will be the last night that he will cry for Sehun. That night was the last time he will be the Luhan that loved Sehun so much. He promised himself to cure his heart and start anew without Sehun in his life. There will be…

                A new Luhan.

                A new beginning.

                A start of a new book for Luhan.