3 years ago today, Junhoe made a mistake.
    He told the wrong person the wrong thing. He regretted it for the rest of his life from that point on.
    He told the wrong person that as a kid, he had always wanted to be tough, he always wanted to be someone people feared because he was strong. Thats what accidentally slipped out one day. Now he was here, now he worked for this man, doing things that never crossed his mind as a kid.
    Now he was in a gang, but they didn't like that word, they just liked that they were feared by all age groups who happened to pass by.
    Junhoe was given a mission, and himself and others were sent out to find whoever was the target that time. Its happened more than once, they got the target wrong and killed an innocent. Junhoe was terrified of that everytime. Especially since it was illegal, not only by the law, but as their group overall, they were not suppost to kill people. He didn't know how to react the first time, but they all seemed to be used to it, it must've happened more than once.
    Junhoe hated this, he never imagined, in all his years, he would end up here, like this, hurting people. He wanted to be tough. He didn't want to use that ability on people who hadn't done anything.
    Even if the person had done something horrible, he hated hurting the person. This isn't what he meant by tough, he wanted to be strong, and 3 years ago today, he chose the wrong words.
    Junhoe changed his mind. He didn't want to be tough anymore.

    2 and a half years ago, Junhoe stopped smiling.
    You probably think, whats to smile about in a life like this? Where all around you are beasts who are responsible for almost 100 serious injuries and multiple deaths in the last year in a half, whats fun about that? Unless you're some sick sadist, nothing. Nothing was fun about that.
    But despite being people that made you feel so sick you could kill yourself without a second thought, strangely enough, they were nice to him.
    Maybe because they all thought so much pressure on a teenager was tough, but the leader was a teenager, so why did that change things between him and the rest of the group? Junhoe didn't ask questions. And despite their scary appearance on the streets, they almost seemed soft hearted when all alone. It took a while for Junhoe to believe this, but it was the same everytime. They treated him the same as everyone else, harsh sometimes, but other times, it was like the past year and a half was a dream. Like these were his friends. But Junhoe never called them friends.
    This never gave a full reason to Junhoe as to why he should be happy. Because he simply wasn't. So he stopped pretending to be. As a kid, whenever he pretended to be sad, something could make him smile. But nothing worked this time. What saddened him even more? No one noticed he was sad. Not sad, isolated. Abandoned, inferior, powerless. Empty.
    No one noticed that Junhoe felt victimized to this kind of life.
    No one noticed how Junhoe was dead inside.

    1 year ago, Junhoe met Jinhwan.
    He would have walked away. He was just another boy to him, just someone else he passed somewhere. But this was different, somehow. Junhoe looked him in the eye. Jinhwan wasn't afraid of him. Junhoe took it as a challenge, almost. He sort of became accustomed to how people would stare at him, and quickly turned away when he looked their way. So, naturally, he disliked it. He disliked how Jinhwan seemed to look at him with interest. Almost like he didn't fit in. 
    And as much as Junhoe would have hated to admit it to himself, he became attached to Jinhwan. He wasn't like the people he'd known for the past 2 years. He was different. He made Junhoe feel truly happy, but he was so scarred by his life, it wasn't able to reach his face. But Jinhwan knew the smile was there, he had to help it break out of its shell.
    Junhoe gave up on trying to make Jinhwan fear him because reality was Junhoe feared Jinhwan. Not in a bad way, but in a sickenly good way. In such a good way, that Junhoe felt like laughing. In such a good way, Junhoe could be killed, and die with one good thing on his mind. In such a good way, it felt like love.
    On June 1, 2013, Junhoe told Jinhwan that being by his side made his heart warm. It made him feel like he was truly alive. Being with Jinhwan made him feel like he had a reason to be happy. Junhoe watched as Jinhwans eyes disappeared as a smile graced his face.
    On June 1, 2013, Junhoe smiled for the first time in a while.

    6 months ago, they noticed.
    They saw how Junhoe seemed lighter. They saw how Junhoe almost cheerily accepted a mission. He actually smiled. 
    They hated that.
    They hated how it was obviously something else, if not someone else, making Junhoe feel like this. They hated how Junhoe was talking to someone else. He was socializing outside of the group, the leader wanted an end to it.
    He sent out someone to follow Junhoe. Follow him to this small little corner cafe where he sat down, and waited. At first, he thought no one would show to Junhoe, as if he were just there himself. But someone walked in. He immediatly gave up on Junhoe and followed this person home. He found where he lived, reported this all to the leader.
    He decided he didn't want Junhoe anymore. He decided that he didn't need Junhoe with them anymore. He contributed nothing to the group as a whole, and tagged along most of the time. 
    But the leader, he wasn't heartless. Not totally.
    He wasn't going to beat up Junhoe or anything because Junhoe probably expects something like thay everyday. He had a better way, a way that would break Junhoe, more than his fists or any weapon could.
    B.I wasn't called the leader for nothing.

    This morning, Junhoe woke up to no text or voicemail from Jinhwan.
    This hit Junhoe as something big, because every morning, no matter how rushed Jinhwan may be, he always called or texted Junhoe, telling him to stay positive. Something obviously wasn't right, but Junhoe shook it off, and proceeded on with his morning.
    He heard his phone from the other room, and all worries immediatly vanished.
    Except for when he actually checked it.
    His heart stopped, and he felt frozen in place. B.I had texted him the one message that was more terrifying than looking straight into the eyes of an innocent as someone shot them in the head. This was Junhoe's worst nightmare.
    On his phone was a picture of Jinhwan. With a gun pointing straight to his head.

    Junhoe burst into the warehouse with a heavy heart and was breathing frantically, all emotions ready to explode at any second but he knew better than that, he had to remain calm.
    He stopped short infront of the group gathered at the back of spacious room. The first thing he saw was Jinhwan, and he immediatly decided he'd rather get killed right then and there, rather than look at him like this.
    Jinhwan had his arms tied to the wall behind him, and he was on his knees. He looked up at Junhoe. He was terrified. Junhoe felt so weak, he wanted to puke. Someone behind him shoved him forward to meet with the strict face of the leader.
    He stared at him with disgust and hatred before speaking. "What did I tell you when you first got here?" When he got no answer he continued, "I told you that no matter what, you are not to frequently speak to anyone outside of us. And look what you've done, boy. You've gotten yourself into a mess. And now, its just too late to fix it."
    Juhoe couldn't speak, the words were caught in his throat. He was shaking and tried desperatley to hide it.
    B.I slapped Junhoe across the face, a harsh way of telling him to talk.
    Junhoe hesitated, but spoke anyway. "What are you going to do to him?" He let out a shaky breath. "Whatever it is, please, just don't hurt him."
    B.I sighed. "I don't know, but since you've brought up such a great idea..."
    "Please! I beg you, don't hurt him, please!"
    B.I motioned behind him and two men released Jinhwan and took a hold of him in their own grasp. He walked over and lifted the slouching Jinhwan up by the collar to his own height. He shoved him forward, but before Junhoe could get to him, two other men grabbed him, keeping him in place. He struggled, but gave up, seeing as it would get him nowhere in the end.
    B.I roughly dragged Jinhwan to his feet and threw a punch at the smallers face, he fell back down immediatly. Junhoe struggled, harder this time, but the men were stronger.
    The two men joined the sides of Jinhwan again and positioned him on his knees, looking straight at Junhoe, tears in his eyes. B.I came behind him and roped his hands together. He stood there, and Junhoe almost puked. He knew. He had to stop it.
    "Please! Stop! Don't do this, please, just let me and him go! We'll leave! Don't, please, don't!" Junhoe's voice was breaking, and his heart felt so sore.
    Jinhwan didn't look away from Junhoe. But Junhoe had his eyes on B.I, watching with terror as he pulled out a gun, and touched it ever so slightly to the back of Jinhwan's head. He closed his eyes, letting the tears fall, feeling the cold against his skull, Jinhwan prayed that he could wake up now.
    "Stop!" He swallowed hard before continuing. "Kill me! Not him!"
    Both B.I and Jinhwan looked at him at this. The boy shook his head, as if saying, 'Junhoe you idiot, don't say that, just let him kill me.' But Junhoe repeated it.
    "Kill me! Don't kill him, please!" Junhoe had tears running down his face at this point, and was probably shaking as bad as Jinhwan was. "Kill me, not him." He said in a small voice.
    "If I must." B.I's voice was laced with venom, and Junhoe froze.
    It happened all at once.
    B.I cocked the gun and a loud bang screamed out. But Junhoe wasn't the one that was dead.
    He watched, with devistation, and Jinhwan's body shook violently for a split second, and his eyes glassed over. Blood trickled out of his mouth, and the men let go of him, watching his lifeless body fall forward.
    It happened all in slow motion.
    Junhoe screamed in anger and remorse filled his veins at what he put Jinhwan through. But it wasn't over.
    Almost as quickly as it happened, another shot rang out in the warehouse. And this time, Junhoe fell to the ground, the blood spreading around his chest where the bullet was lodged, right over his heart.
    And it was dark. But then again, thats all Junhoe's life had ever been.