YOURS TO LOVE, MINE TO CHERISH
 

Once again, I stare blankly at the beautiful art right before my eyes. The darkness of the night being illuminated by the beauty of that crescent thing in the sky, I can't help but to close my eyes at the cold breeze of December as a small smile spread on my dried lips. Another evening spent, cheeks wet with tears freshly shed, and a heart that was once a whole, now shattered into pieces. 

I reached out my arm, passing by the opened window as I whisper for his name. The longing I felt cannot be put into words as I can't find the right definition to define this feeling. I feel so lost of something I cannot even remember, cannot even name. 

For another heartbreaking moment, the tears just freely run down my face.

"Dara..."

What?

"Dara..."

Who?

"Dara, wake up..."

Why?

As I slowly opened my eyes, gone the beautiful evening, I once again close them as the blinding brightness welcomed my orbs. It's morning...again.

"You don't look good. How long are you going to keep being like this, Dara?" 

The tone of that familiar voice was once again coated by worry and pain. Why do you keep on hanging on? Why are you still here? And why am I asking the exact questions that I keep on asking myself, all this time?

"It is none of your business..."

Right, it is none of anyone's business, but myself alone. I am facing this alone and no one has the right to think about it and be bothered about it, other than myself alone. 

Alone...

The word is too painful but still keep on circulating in my mind. 

"It is my business, Dara. Why do you keep on hanging on? Why are you still here, being like this? Why are you agonizing over something that's left you? Why do you keep on imprisoning your---"

"You don't have the rights to ask me such questions!" 

I lose it, again. Behind the puffiness around my eyes, lies the orbs that had died long time ago. I can't help but to bit on my lower lip as I suppress the tears that's about to escape. I felt myself tremble at the coldness.

And before I knew it, I was enveloped by warmth... This same warmth that embaced me on that same day that I had lose everything. Being in this warmth strips all the strength I keep on building to surround the remaining part of my safe corner.

"I hate to see you cry... And most of all, I hate myself for being worthless..."

Since when did you started thinking like this? No, don't say that. It wasn't your fault, why do you have to say it as if you are in an agony more than mine?

"I am so worthless that all I can do is to give you something you don't need. But what can I do? This is all I can give you... Myself..."

Why do you have to say it the same way he did?

No, I can't succumb to this.

"Let me go..." 

"No..."

"I said, let me go..."

"I said, no."

"Let me go, I don't need you!"

With all my strength, I pushed him away. Right, I don't need him, I shouldn't need him. After all, they are just bound to leave me behind. Even him, this person, he left me behind.

"If I learn to care for you, I might end up accepting you. If I accept you, I might end up keeping you. If I keep you, then I cannot afford another heartbreak of losing something. I don't want that to happen again."

"Why not? I'll be---"

"No! You once promised me, but what? You ended up leaving me. I cannot trust you anymore."

"Dara I---"

"Leave me now..."

"Dar---"

"I said leave me now, Jiyong!"

No, I don't need to see your reaction. I don't even need to look at your face... I don't need to need you...

~~~~~o0o~~~~~

"Lee Donghae, you idiot!"

Fuming, Dara searched for the guy who's been playing around with her and making fun of her. He just won't stop teasing her and she's at her limits. She needs to stop his craziness.

"Park Sandara, my adorable girl, you are even lovable when you are mad. You emit cuteness all over you, I feel like hugging you right now..." he said, laughing, as he stood behind a tree.

She stopped from her tracks and stared at his face. Her heart swells...of happiness.

Lee Donghae, he's been her friend for eight years until the day comes that he confessed his feelings for her. It took him years after her last break up that he admitted about his long time feelings for her. He knew everything about her. After all, he's been next to her during those times that she needed someone with her, the most.

It took her a year to answer his feelings and now, they've been together for two years, but he's still the same. He didn't changed as he let her experience all the love that he got, proving to her that his love will always be unconditional. And from her long time heartbreak, she learned to love to him and completely moved on from the pain of her past.

And now, watching at his smiling face, she can't help but to feel the happiness once again. 

She tried to trick him and hid her face on her palms.

"You cannot fool me anymore, Dara. I know that trick already!" he shouted from where he's hiding, followed by a loud laughter that instantly died down when she dropped on her knees, still hiding her small face. "Dara?" 

As expected, he's still the same... The same guy who brought her to tears out of jealousy but most of the time, the same guy who brought most of the smiles back to her face.

Not long after, she felt his presence close to her, and she's enveloped in a warmth. 

"I'm sorry, I'll stop now..." he said.

She lightly pushed him off her and tilted her head up to look at his worried face. She poked his forehead and smiled at him. "Tricked you..." she whispered with a playful smile spreading on her lips. 

"You~" he pouted for a brief second but smiled afterwards as he peck on her lips. "Let's visit Rena now?" she nodded her head as a response.

Rena... She's her precious angel whom she lost, years ago. She's the same reason why she gave her best not to experience the same heartbreak once again. She had lost Rena, after her little angel's father left them. And the next years, Donghae was there to take care of her and she eventually moved on.

"Rena, mama's here. How are you now, my precious? It's been years, I'm still missing you. Today is your 9th birthday, it's been a long time huh? Mama is doing great, and I know you too. I know wherever you are right now, you are happy and at ease. Mama is also the same, all thanks to your uncle Donghae. He's been taking care of me, he becomes my happiness now. He might not be the reason why mama cried too much before but he's still the reason why I cried because he kept on bullying me. But now, all he do is to make mama happy. I know I've told you this before, but I'll say it again. I love him, so much, and I don't know what will I do if ever I'll lose such angel... Rena knows that right? I know Rena has been watching over us from up above. My angel, please guide us and be with us, forever okay? I love you baby..."

"He's here..." with eyes, wide open, Dara stared at Donghae in shock.

"Who's here?" he asked, confused at the sudden change of her behavior. 

It's their company's annual winter break celebration and they've been enjoying the night so far, when suddenly, she came to him in shock.

"He's here..." she repeated the same words, and he can't help but to find it out himself.

He looked behind her and his eyes widen in shock as well. He stared back at Dara and watches her as her eyes get misty. He knew it... And he still can't help but to feel pain every time he thinks about it. Though she's wearing their engagement ring already, he can't help but waver, it squeezes his heart.

He enveloped her trembling body in his arms and did his best to calm her down. 

"Hi..." she froze in his arms as they heard that familiar voice. 

He looked at the guy standing in front of him with a smile on his face. True enough, he's really there, in flesh. He looks way different than he last saw him. His long hair that used to be dyed with blonde was now black and was neatly cut. His facial features also matured but he's still the same.

"Kwon Jiyong..."

"It's been a long time, Lee Donghae..." he said with a smile. 

He felt Dara, pushes him off her as she took a deep breath and turn around to face the man who left her, years ago. There's a smile on her face. 

"It's been a long time, Kwon..." she said, well-composed. But Donghae knew better.