run away (with my heart)

< 1/? of the past series >

{ jikook ; pg ; 2681 words }

 

[A/N]

1st time with jikook -- there goes my bangtan fic writing v card // What am i doing it's 1:51am // i'm not sure where i'm going with this written for peniel of btob bcs i love him

[OTHER]

nowplaying: goodbye - snsd (LOVEEE)

feeling: down for editing heh

[INSPIRATION]

• "how are you? //  i'm fine." - unpack your bags, rap mon

• hello baby - kiwi_ism (LJ)

• beansprouts - theninjatuna (AFF)

• my entire bts playlist (notably: coffee, working)

• all the jikook fics out there

• moonlight (eng ver.) by silv3rt3ar

-

It starts out simple enough.

 

Jimin and Jungkook, friends since they were in strollers.

The way it ends, though, Jungkook's not sure he wants to find out.

 

Jungkook's been running away for 4 years now. It's been so easy to maintain normalcy and pretend that he knows Jimin Park just like how everybody does — through TV shows, radio and music programmes.

 

Of course he knows Jimin Park.

 

It doesn't mean he wants to remember that that Jimin is the same Jimin he fell in love with.

 

-

 

The way Jimin haunts him starts out subtle enough.

It's not like he's doing it on purpose, but Jungkook would like to blame it on him.

 

He's been to this Korean mart since the first day he moved to Canada, so it's not surprising that he goes there a lot.

 

A certain song starts playing after 2pm's Hands Up in the background while Jungkook is trying to buy some cheese ramyun, and he can't seem to put his finger on where he's heard it before.

A line makes him flinch and he realizes where he's heard this before.

 

Of course. It's their song.

He then proceeds to pretend that he grew up in Canada all his life and has no idea what the hell "yeppeo" or anything Korean is. 

 

Or that he was the writer and inspiration of this line.

 

"행복 하자, 아프지 말고," the line says.

"Let's be happy, let's not be hurt," he promises.

 

A heartless promise.

It was his promise when things were still a lot simpler.

 

Jungkook wonders if Jimin remembers him.

Then he realizes that he shouldn't care. 

He can't hurt him anymore than he already has.

 

- 

 

The way Jungkook changes his mind—no, he's never changed his mind.

If he were still in Korea with Jimin, he would be in university and it would be simple.

 

But Jimin became an idol. It's not like he wanted it to end up like this on purpose, but Jungkook would like to blame it on him even though he knows that it's entirely his fault.

 

These days, he likes to pretend altogether that he doesn't even know who Jimin is.

It is partly true. Jimin's 22 now; he's probably not the same soft-hearted kid that Jungkook didn't even call "hyung". 

So to say, Jungkook only knows Jimin the same as everybody, through the screen.

 

On other days, Jungkook likes to think about how it would be if he had chosen to persevere and stay.

He'd be much happier—true.

Then he remembers who he is. A nobody.

He remembers who Jimin is and who he's become. Jimin Park– half of the leading Hallyu wave duo 95. 

 

He would've just weighed him down.

He just wished Jimin didn't go too far.

But he knows that he pushed him away in the first place.

 

-

 

Jimin was never one to pressure. He wasn't a persistent person. 

He did change his mind and pursue Jungkook. 

 

Even to the point when Jungkook was about to board the plane to Canada.

 

Jungkook, who was ready to turn around and run, to forget all he had in Korea.

Jimin, who risked his debut that he worked so hard for, just to keep Jungkook in Korea.

Jungkook would never forget Jimin's crying face.

 

Jimin deserves this, Jungkook likes to think. He was able to debut because I wasn't there to weigh down his wings.

 

But he can't help but wonder if Jimin still wishes for him to come back.

Then he realizes where Jimin is now.

 

-

 

He knows that he couldn't run away from Jimin for long, but he didn't expect Jimin to be in his house.

He knew that Jimin's manager was his mom herself, and that their moms were friends, but his mom definitely understood him when he wanted to move to Canada. 

 

She understood when he went out with his hyungs a lot.

She understood when his grades dropped because he didn't adapt quickly in the Canadian education system.

So why did she bring Jimin to their house?

 

- 

 

Jungkook wasn't supposed to be at their house at that time yes, but his mom should have expected his random going home times. 

 

He was walking in, wearing a black shirt that said "DOPE" and blue converse, looking exhausted.

 

He saw his mom first, an uneasy expression on her face.

Then came Jimin's mom, running to squish his face and gush about how good he looked.

Then came Jimin. He expected him to look bad from all his makeup and schedules. 

But damn, Jimin still looked perfect.

 

Jungkook attempts a smile, which he later cringes internally at–he must've looked like crap, and bows then rushes up the stairs.

He reads out the words on his side of the door— 95's 3rd album's title.

 

Mental Breakdown.

 

The meaning of the words hit him harder than Hoseok's angry drunk punch at his first University party because he thought Jungkook was flirting with Seokjin. 

 

- 

 

He doesn't come out the door until he hears a few knocks on his door.

 

It's almost inaudible but Jungkook hears it.

He opens the door and sees Jimin.

 

He hopes his expression was more of shocked than horrified.

 

God, he was such a rude host.

 

Technically he wasn't the host but whatever.

He was going to die.

 

"Hi," Jungkook manages to croak out in English.

"Hey," Jimin says, sheepishly. 

"Let's talk." Jimin blurts out in Korean.

"Oh, sorry. Can we talk?" Jimin says, this time in English.

 

He remembers when he still teased Jimin about his English. He guesses that when you're an idol, you pick things up easier.

They go to the third level of Jungkook's house, where there's a balcony with a few chairs.

 

"So, concert here, huh?" Jimin seems surprised by Jungkook's Korean.

 

Jungkook hasn't lost it all.

He remembers his Korean for Jimin.

It's the only thing left of them.

 

"Ah, yeah. Taehyung was supposed to come here with me to meet you and your mom but– uh, you know Taehyung, right?" 

Taehyung. Of course. 

"Your groupmate, right?" Jungkook's trying to be nonchalant, but in actuality, he wants to ask if TaeMin is real.

Before Jungkook can overthink it, he blurts out, "Is he your boyfriend?" 

 

In the background, if you listen carefully,