“Jongin’s not good for you. And you know it too.”

“I know…”

“As your close friend, you should listen to me when I say, you need to stay away from him. You guys have been spending too much time together.”

I crashed straight from heaven to your hell

And I know that you're no angel

“I know…”

“I-I don’t like him. I really don’t understand how you can even love him. He’s hurt you multiple times.”

“...”

“Does he have any good qualities?”

“Yes…”

“I can’t imagine. Name one good thing about him.”

“He was the first person that made feel…like I wasn’t alone. He really understood me. All of my dark places... All of them. Even the ones you don’t know about.”

You're broken and battered

But I fell

Cause your scars

They make me feel I'm not alone.

The soft patter of the rain and the sound of someone breathing in the background slowly becomes clearer as I open my eyes. My eyes adjust to the darkness as I turn my head to search for the clock. The neon red numbers stare back at me.

3:17 am.

A sharp inhale escapes from his chest.

I carefully lift his arm and place it behind me as I slide out of bed. I stand up and turn around. His bare chest is partially covered by the blanket and his head is turned in the opposite direction.

 I'd rather be in the dark with you

Than in a lonely light.

I turn around and feel my way towards the direction of the bathroom. Touching along the dresser, I felt the smooth fabric of his green flannel shirt. Flashes of his intense stares flood my mind. And then his lips – 

H­­­is lips.

I'm not afraid, I'm in love with you!

 “I can’t do this,” I whisper to myself. I regain my focus and head out of the room, towards the bathroom. The soft patters of my feet on the hard ground echo around the suite. I reach for the light switch and turn it on. My eyes quickly adjust to the light and I watch myself through the reflection of the mirror.

My eyes trail down from my aware, innocent, dark brown eyes –

“Follow me,” Jongin whispered as he clasped his hand with mine and dragged me through the hallway to my suite.

“Key,” he gestured and I handed him my key to open the door. He swiftly opened the door, pulled us through and pushed me against the door, sealing it shut. He stepped closer to me and locked eye contact. His breathing slowed down as right hand traced up along my left arm.

Cause I need to feel you now

I need to hear your sound

To my swollen lips,

His hand eventually reached the bottom of my chin. He lifted my head up and his eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips. He began to tilt his head down, towards mine and then he stopped. Once more, his eyes flickered to mine and he held contact, for what seemed forever, before he captured my lips.

I don't care that you bring me so low

Cause all that I know is you feel like home, yeah.

I need to breathe you now

To my black bra strap, loosely hanging from my shoulder.  

We fell back against the door, slowly kissing. My hands clasped onto his shirt, refusing to let go. He moved his lips from my lips to my neck, slowly reaching for my sweater. My head rolled back in euphoria and he pushed my sweater off of my shoulders and pulled my shirt off. Before he was able to lean forward to capture my lips again, I reached for the buttons on his shirt and unfastened them. Throwing his shirt to the side, I pushed him back against the bed and a smirk grew on his face.

I need release somehow

I'm wrapped up in your skin and your bones

And all that I know is you feel like home, yeah.

I quickly turn on the water and splash cold water in my face, hoping to erase these memories from my mind.

“You know you shouldn’t have done this.  He’s poison….” I whisper to myself. “But you love him,” I sigh. I reach over to grab a towel off of the rack and whip my face. Sighing again, I put back the towel, turn off the light, and quietly walk back in the room.

He’s sitting up in bed, looking at down at his hands. He looks up at me and softly smiles.

“Where’d you go?”

“Bathroom.”

“I woke up and you were gone.”

You're strangely familiar and comfortable

I'm not alone.

“Sorry.”

“You can make it up to me by getting back into this bed and lie here with me,” he said with a raised eyebrow and boyish grin on his face.

I lightly laugh and walk over towards the bed and slide in. He turns to lie on his side and he tucks his arm under my neck. He reaches over and moves a stand of my hair behind my ear. 

When I'm laying in your arms I feel alive.

I never knew

That it was you

You're such a beautiful disaster.

“You’re beautiful,” he quietly mutters. I adjust my neck to look at him.

“I wish that I –“he stops and stares back at me. He remains quiet for a moment as he searches for words to say. He sighs.

"You know everyone can't know about this right?"

"Yeah I know…But why?"

"… I can’t really explain it but just know that I do care about you.”

 I'd rather be in the dark with you

Than in a lonely light.

He caresses my face and traces his thumb against my bottom lip. I grab his hand and link it with mine. After a few moments, he wraps his arm around my waist and tucks his face in the crook of my next and quickly falls asleep. I soon fall asleep after him.

---

*ring ring*

“…..what?”

“Yeah, I’m in her room.”

….

“Yes, we’re just friends.”  

…

“No, she’s asleep.”

….

“You’re the only one that’s supposed to know.”

….

“Anyways - Who?”

….

“My ex? She’s back?”

….

Jongin sighs. “She’s looking for me? Alright. I’ll meet up with you guys later.” I hear him walk around the room, gathering his things and putting his clothes back on. I loudly exhale and turn towards his sounds and open my eyes.

“Oh you’re awake?” I nod in response.

“I got a call. I gotta go somewhere….But I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah.”

Jongin smiles and waves and walks out of the door.

“We know we shouldn’t be doing this. I know I shouldn’t be letting this happen, but you’re all that I know. You’re my home.”

A/N

Ayyee I hoped you guys liked it! Glad I was able to write this and everything. This is actually based on something that I've experienced myself and this was a way for me to get my emotions and ish out. Therapeutic in a sense haha.

Please comment! Let me know what you think! :D And thanks for reading!!