Stiff. That’s what I am. Even until now, still am a stiff. That’s what people call me.

Anyway, it’s already fall. The wind blows and the leaves fall. I always like it this way, though it seems melancholic and not fitting my character. Fall never fails to bring me the memories of dad. He smelled like fall. And it brought me to tears each time I remembered him. But now that I am stronger, I don’t cry anymore. Or that I am tired of crying because it hurts so bad I can’t cry. So I stop being an immature daughter for mom and start to be stornger for her. Mom herself, she is pretty much in a bad shape since dad’s gone though she doesn’t show it. But I can tell it just looking at her two brown orbs, they used to have lively spirits inside of them. And somehow half of them were gone, taken away like how dad left us. And I. I still am a stiff.

My phone buzz. I take it out from my pocket and read the message I just recieved. It was from him. Again. He surely is a presistent one. And where in the world he could get my phone number. It must be from Seunghoon oppa. What kind of a brother he is who can’t understand  his sister.

Hi Hayi-ah! This is Hanbeeeen. You know, the guy from the hospital who followed you around. Hehehehe.... Can we meet? It’s okay though if you don’t want to. Anyway, sorry for disturbing you. See you around soon. J

I smile while reading it. I remember he followed me around when dad was still being treated in the hospital. When I sit. When I ate in the hospital’s cafetaria. When I cried. When I.... whenever I was in hospital, he always followed me. Once I asked what his intention was for following me around. He said that he just needed an accompany. He said that he didn’t get much friend there in the hospital. He said that he was sick but it wasn’t a bad one. But he couldn’t fool me, I am one of the smartest student in my my school. Like what I said, I can tell it just by looking at other’s eyes. It is somehow I can read what other’s thinking. I can read through him. And it’s a bit scary, a bit frightening. Because they were entangled me, in a good way ofcourse. But still I’m scared.

I knew it right away that he was lying. It’s probably a serious or even terminal illness. But I don’t care at all. Afterall he was just somebody who passed by in my life, a name I would hardly remember in the future. Or... or that I looked like I didn’t care but actually I do. I do care? Yes that it was so nice of him comforting me when dad passed away. He held my hands and then hugged me saying ‘everything will be just alright’. But that’s what everybody would do if they saw a spoiled little girl crying like there’ll be no tomorrow, right? Right? So, what should I do with him? Afterall I’m a stiff. I don’t do empathy things.

He has been texting me since last week with the same sentences. Should I give him a chance. He can be my friend. After all he is a nice boy and probably will be a good friend.

Hi Hanbin. I’m sorry I just reply your text. I’ve been busy with school. Which I lied. I hope you understand. Let’s meet up! I’ll wait you in the park near the hospital tomorrow. Is that okay?

I press the send button to get the reply in a few minutes. He said it was okay and he was happy that I replied. It’s so tipical of him.

|| THE NEXT DAY ||

Where is he exactly. I’ve been waiting for him for thirty minutes. Should I just go home rather than wasting my time.

Well, atleast I’ve tried to be friend with him. If this doesn’t work then it will be okay. It will. But when I is about to leave, someone holds my hand. “Hayi-ah.”

It is him panting from the exhaustion. I think he has been running all the way here.

“Hayi-ah. I’m sorry I’m late.” He’s still trying to catch a breath.

“Easy... Breath in, breath out. You look pale. Are you okay?” I said trying not to sound as worried.

“Yeah.”

“Let’s sit.” I point at my favorite bench in the park.

We both sit. He smiles. Why he likes to smile a lot like the world has pleased him always. I’m annoyed. He seems carefree. He looks like more human. And I am a stiff robot.

“How’s going?” he asked.

“Everything is alright as what you said,” I look at him, “right?”

He smiles. Again.

“You know, last week was my bithday. I’m officially 18 now.”

“Wow how wonderful,” I said sarcastically. I thought he would be offended by my saying, d**m my mouth, but he’s actually not.

“Can I ask for a birthday present from you? Because you’re my only accompany?” he asked me hesitantly.

“What is it? If it’s something strange or weird, I won’t give it okay?”

“Let’s be friends.”

I look at him, who is smilling like an idiot, offering me a handsake as the comfirmation of a friendship. I take his hand. It is warm and comforting like when he consoled me. But at the same time I am afraid of something. But I don’t know what it is. Will the cold come back once I let his hand off? Is that what worried me?

I don’t know though what this friendship can lead us to. But now, for once, I won’t trust my intuition and just let it flow like the wind in the fall.