I fell for this kid. I fell for him the very first moment he smiled at me. To be honest, I don't know how to describe what it felt like. It sounds cheesy to say that it was exactly like being touched by the first rays of dawn on a warm summer day, right? Like flying freely with warm air brushing your skin. Looking into his eyes was like drowning in the deep sea, unable to find your way back  to the shore but not caring about it at all, 'cause drowning never felt so good. Man, that sounds awful. But that's what it was like. And right in that one moment, in those few seconds, I lost my heart to Kim Hanbin.

"Hyung."
Mino looked up at Hanbin who stood in front of the couch the elder was sitting on. He was wearing one of his oversized sweaters with a huge Mickey Mouse on it, a red beanie hid his black hair. Only a few strands looked out from under it playfully, making him seem younger than he was. The ghost of a smile flitted across Mino's lips. God, what a kid.
"Yes?", he asked, letting his mobile phone sink into his lap.
"Hyung, buy me ice cream."
"You've got two feet and money in your pocket. Get yourself some."
"But hyuuuuuung!" Hanbin nagged and threw himself next to Mino.
"It tastes much better when you buy it!"
"You're just too lazy."
"I'm not."
"You always are."
The boy didn't respond to this, causing Mino to grin. He shot a glance at Hanbin who had crossed his arms, silently staring at him with a pouting face. The face he always made when he tried to convince his hyung to do something. The face that made him look like a 10-year-old.

I feel so uneasy sometimes. So insecure about anything. I'm so afraid to make mistakes and to fail, like I have to be perfect all the time. And I'm not, I'm far from being perfect. But when I'm with this boy, all of this doesn't seem to matter. He accepts my flaws more than I do, and everything I'm afraid of turns into something that's not worth worrying about, 'cause I feel like I can do anything when he's around. This kid gives me the strength to carry on. He gives me a reason to be the best I can be. Maybe that's why I've come this far. Maybe it was Hanbin who always kept me going, who was my inspiration and motivation. And maybe he still is.

"Okay."
Hanbin mumbled and uttered a sigh after he realized that the older one wouldn't give in. He made an effort to get up again to buy some of the ice cream he was craving, but Mino stopped him by grabbing his arm. Without saying a word, he pointed in the direction of the kitchen as if this was self-explaining, but the younger raised an eyebrow and let this gesture speak as a question.
"Check the freezer", Mino added and carefully followed Hanbin with his eyes as he got up and sneaked into the kitchen like a tiger that was after its prey. He allowed himself to let his eyes slide down the boy's back before he got out of sight, leaving a smirk on Mino's lips. It got even bigger when he heard the cry of joy a few seconds later.
"YOU'RE THE BEST! THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST!"
With waving arms the boy slithered back into the living room, spinning around in a few circles before he dramatically got on his knees, holding the ice cream - chocolate, of course - as if it was the Holy Grail. Mino laughed out loud, giving the younger boy a gentle kick.
"Ya, do you really think I'm not prepared when I know that you'll pay me a visit?"
"Actually yes, but this restored my faith in humanity!"
While the elder rolled his eyes, Hanbin got back on his feet and happily sat down on Mino's lap, already busy unwrapping the ice cream. Mino just stared at the neck that suddenly appeared right in front of his face, causing him to hold his breath for a second. Then a sigh of relief parted his lips. Carefully he wrapped his arms around the boy's waist while he watched him taking his first bite. It didn't happen that often, but Hanbin had his cute moments and Mino loved witnessing them. He could watch him being cute forever.
"Eat well."
The younger just nodded and leaned back a little, then offering Mino a bite too. As soon as he took one, he fully concentrated on the ice cream again, quietly humming a song. A smile spread on the elder's face while he rested his head on Hanbin's shoulder, slightly tightening his hug.
If he had a say, moments like this could last forever. Nothing was better than feeling the younger body close to his body, the warmth that flooded every inch. Mino was in peace with the world when he could hold Hanbin like this. He was in peace with himself.

I don't think I'm that good at giving vent to my feelings, I'm not good at confessing. I may seem confident enough, I may seem tough enough to just run my head against a wall and say "Hey, I love you", but I'm not. It feels like I'd give away a part of me that is too hard to get back. I don't want to risk running after someone to feel whole again. But this boy, this kid.. I'd give all of me to him without hesitating. My heart, my soul, my body, everything. And one day I will. One day I will have the courage to say "I love you, Kim Hanbin", because that's what I do. I love you.
You and only you.