You're the only one I've been thinking about.

"So, what's on your mind?"

"Oh nothing."

The girl smiled while turning on the t.v with a touch of a botton. The truth is, you're the only thing going through my mind.

Am I confused? Or simply wrong?

"Are you sure? If you don't want me to go on that date, I won't go."

"It's ok! Go have fun Ji Min"

She smiled and hugged me, before walking away.

Am I sure of what I want?

"What do you want me to do?"

I look down, afraid to tell her. Frearing that my pride could ruin this.

"Tell me! Or I'm leaving."

I look away. I couldn't face her, not anymore. I was to ashame for what I had become.

"Fine, I think I got my answer."

The sound of her foot steps could be heard as she slowly left me. I took one last look, before I would never see her again. Her short brown hair, which I won't be able to caress, her soft pale hands, no longer holding mine, her clothes, I would no longer help her choice.The last few years were a blur after she left, my parents moved to the United States where I finished my high school year there also with the SM auditions, the record deal, f(x), our first album, the first video.... Everything.

"Amber-shii?"

"W-What?"

I turn my head, only to find Luna looking back at me. Her worried expression while she touch my shoulder lightly.

"Is this about her?"

I look away. Of course it was her, was I to obvious?

"Look, honey why don't you go see her? We're on a little vacation anyway."

"I haven't seen her since,..."

"Amber,..."

"I-I need to go!"

I walk out of the recording room, leaving Luna to worry even more about me. I couldn't figure out why I thought about her again. Was it that dream?

"Fine, I think I got my answer"

Her sweet voice was still ringing in my head.

"Hey Amber!"

Looking up, I found myself standing in front of Kibum. The tall handsome man had half of his hair missing for his upcoming video "Lucifer". The sweet smile try it's best to cheer me up, but it couldn't work.

"What happen now?"

"Bwoh?"

The man smirk.

"I think you should go find her,... I know what her address is."

"How do you know that?"

I got angry. Was it for jealousy or because he hasn't told me.

"Knew it, well since she is Junsu's sister,... I went to visit him one day and she was there."

"Oh,.."

How could I have forgotten she was Junsu's younger sister. I mentaly hit myself while saying stupid, stupid over and over again. Looking up at him again, I couldn't believe he remembered my old childhood stories of my past life. Knowing he listen to me meant a lot.

"Want me to drive?"

                                                                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When your ready, go."

I sat in the car as I watch her house. Her house changed since the last time I was there. The big oak tree was replace with a little garden, her brick house was replace with a light brown painted one. Everything was different, was Kibum sure this was the address?

"I'm going for it."

I step out of the car and slowly made my way to the front door. The door bell wasn't there anymore so I had to knock on the door, the old fashion way.

"Coming~"

The door was open by a older woman, their mother if I'm correct.

"Hello?"

"Hello ma'm, is your daughter home by any chance?"

The woman before me look at me with a confuse look. She didn't know who I was for sure, I had grown up to be a tomboy, not that I wasn't before, only now I wore more boyish style clothes then the little girly tomboy clothes they use to sell.

"Yes she's in her room. Want me to let you go see her?"

Was I ready? She was simply a floor away from me. With a smile, I nodd. The door was close when I step in, the house never lost it touch from the inside. The fire place where we use to sit and talk was still there, the light brown wall paint from when her mom let us paint the living room was still looking new, everything. I took my shoes off before walking in the house.

"The stairs are at the end of the hall and her room is up the stairs, down the hall to your left."

Her room was still at the very same place.

                                                                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I want to change rooms with Junsu oppa~"

The young girl whined as she sat on her bed next to me. I just smiled and wrap my arms around her petit waist.

"Why? I really like the room you have now!"

"Why do you always ruin my igo Amber,.."

I smiled again. Her smiling face was replace with a pout and it made me want to just hold her some more.

"Well, in Junsu's room,... You wouldn't have the beautiful view of the parc."

She said nothing.

"And Junsu's room is sooo small compare to yours... No more awesome sleepover dances and raps!"

"Yeah, your right!"

I felt her moved and now she was looking at me, I could feel her warm breathe so close to my warm lips. It took everything in me not to make a move. She had always told me, she was curious about kissing another girl,... But she never did anything.

"I'm glad you always ruin my igo before I rage like I always do."

She wrap her arms around me and cuddly her head on my shoulder.

"You're welcome."

                                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was now standing at her door. The writing of "Ji Min's Room" still there from our art project we made a couple of days before our fight still hung there, and old pictures of her too. I trace the her face in the one taken when she had that family ruinion back in the day. Pictures of Junsu and his band mates from Dong Bang Shin Ki were there. I was about to knock on the door but the door seem to move on it's on when a girl came crashing into my arms.

"W-What the hell?"

I look down while she look up. Her short brown hair were now longer, to her lower back. She was wearing a white Hello Kitty shirt with the writings "Love Nerds", black sweat pants and she was wearing glasses. When did she start wearing them?

"Ji Min?"

She look up at me, as if she seen a ghost. Her body was trembling, her lips were trembling. Was she scared? Then why was she holding on to me?

"A-Amber?"

"What? No hello or how are you?"

I gave her a smile, but she wasn't showing any emotions. Something cought my attention, a familiar melody coming from her room. I took a glance behind her and found her laptop was open on her bed with the song NU ABO playing.

"Wow, you're listening to my song... Do you like it?"

"Y-Yeah,... I even have a poster of you..."

"Really?"

Her eyes were wide. Maybe it was a secret she just so happen to slip out from her lips. I smiled as she covered her lips and a small pink blush crept apon her cheeks.

"It's not true!"

"Well,.. Then you won't mind me going-"

She let go of me and ran to her room, she was about to close the door but I had push the door open and pinned her against the wall.

"I win! Just like the good old days!"

"Aww,... Why do you always have to win Amber,..."

A small pout form on her lips. I took the chance to look around. Her room didn't change much. Her computer desk was still in the corner, her bed at the very same place, but something made me smile.

"So, you hung that poster of me next to your bed."

"Whatever,..."

I smiled to myself. Looking down at her,..

"Ji Min,... Why are you crying?"

Her tears were streaming down her cheeks. I didn't know how to react, what if she doesn't want a hug or even a sorry if I hurt her.

"Why are you here!?"

"Bwoh? You're not happy to see me?"

"I am... But it's been so long Amber,... Why not that night?"

Now I finally cought a complete change from her face. Her eyes were red and swollen, her skin was paler, that song playing wasn't NU ABO but Sorry,... She was sad,.. Because of me?

"W-When I left, I thought I was ok,.. The friends I still had, my boyfriend, everything."

She look away from me.

"But then, you kept showing up in my mind. I missed you Amber,.. But when you never showed up on my doorstep with a bag of chips and a movie in your hand like you always did when we had fights,... I thought you hated me for leaving."

I look away.

"And when you left to the U.S, that's where it really hit me. My family did everything to help me out of it... And when Junsu left for his band leaving me,... I thought I was really left alone."

"But you aren't! I'm hear for you Ji Min!"

"What?"

With my thumb, I tried my best to whip her tears stained face. She whince has my warm finger touch her painful face, but to my surprise, she held my hand next to her cheek while she closed her eyes.

"I missed your touches... While you try to comfort me Amber."

Something inside me burst, my trapt feelings for her showed as I push her hand away while trapping her head as I place my hands on each side of her face, kissing her. I close my eyes, scared for her reaction. Scared she might scream, pull away with discuste, something. I fell in love with my bestfriend, a girl, a complete, wonderful sin. Her lips push back into mine, sending chills by the new sensation. I push her further against the wall, while our lips moved as one. For years, I've wanted this. For years, I had to explained my friends, Kibum and Luna, about Ji Min. How she was everything I wanted, but since she was born in a well raised christian house,... She wouldn't commit a sin when she knew it was wrong. But this cought me off guard, her arms wrap around my neck while mine where wrap around her petit waist. Memories of us flash in my mind as she pulled away. I couldn't dare look. While my eyes were still close, I look away.

"A-Amber,..."

I felt her fingers cup my chin as she move my head to face hers. A sweet kiss on my cheek, another one on my eye lid, and then on my jawline.

"I-I'm sorry I caused you so much pain..."

She cuddle up to me as she gave me a small peck on my neck.

"It's ok,... I-I was just... Always waiting for you to tell me you like me..."

Nothing.

"When I went out with that boy back in the 8th grade,... I even ask you if it was ok I went out with him... You said yes."

"That was before I knew you... And plus,..."

I slowly push her back, so I could look deep into her eyes. A few tears had escape my eyes. I never wanted her to see this side of me, the sensitive Amber,...

"I never thought you would like me... Since I am a girl and you are such a commited Christian like your brother."

She look down again, but this time, with a smile.

"I am a devoted Christian... But if I have to choose between god or my friend..."

She look up at me this time, taking her glasses off, our face now a few iches away.

"I would prefer commiting a sins over it."

That day, I ask Kibum to leave me there. Also Luna didn't see me return in the f(x) apartment that night because I had fallen asleep next to the person I was dying to see. My mind was finally at peace from the sadness, drama, everything. I wrap my arms around her, to make sure she was real. We whispered sweet words of love as we kiss, we look in each others eyes before laughting at how quiet it was. Now I know what I want, I want her.

                                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amber was the last person to see at my door that day. Was it faith she'd came back? I'll never know. That day, when I left her alone the cafe house... I never felt so worried, sadness nor did I feel like this was a good choice. I returned home crying in my mother's arms. She knew about my secret, Junsu as well, but I was to afraid to admit it to her. I slept in her arms that night. The first time in ages since I had a peaceful night. Now, I'm happy to see her. Now, I am at peace.