Sing for me Forever
Heo Young Saeng, SS501, his girl (Suzy)
This story is written in Young Saeng's POV.

"Happy birthday Suzy." I forced a smile as I placed the bouquet of pink and red roses on the ground before the stone tombstone. The dead silence was what that replied me.

That was her 30th birthday, the 5th one I celebrated for her after she passed on.

I came here every day to visit her, no matter rain or shine. Unknowingly, I have persisted for 5 years already. In the good weather, I would sit on my foldable armchair and bathe in the gentle sunlight or breeze; In the bad weather, I would sit there carrying a big umbrella and listen to the drops of rain like music to my ears.

"The memory of being madly in love
I find you in those memories
We couldn’t have been more in love
I won’t choose this for you
I will never let it happen
But I really miss you"

Every time I come, I would sing for her. Every day, it would be a different song.

As I sing, memories of us would flash through my mind.

--------------

My fingers ran through the black and white piano keys and a melodic tune, along with my voice, echoed through the air. I didn't have any scores with me, that piece of music was made up on the spot, to the amusement of my girl. It was meant just for her, and no others.

"Young Saeng oppa," She entwined her fingers between mine and rest her head on my shoulders, "Promise me that you'll sing for me forever?"

"Neh, in my future performances, I will always be thinking of you when I sing. I will only sing for you." I pinched her cheeks lightly in a teasing manner and I laughed when I see her pout, "Aigoo, uri Suzy is so cute."

"Oppa!" She pouted again, acting as if she was angry as I threw her an embrace and planted a kiss on her cheek.

I brushed away the hair covering her face and tucked it behind her ear, and I moved nearer to her while she cuddled close to me. I felt the warmth from her body and her hands slid around my waist, hugging me tighter and closer.

"Suzy ah," I took a deep breath and felt around my pocket for something.

"Umm?" She looked up at me with her big innocent eyes.

Finally, my hands got hold of the small circular object and I pulled it out of my pocket, breaking out of her grip and knelt down in front of her, without giving her a second to react.

"Suzy, will you marry me?" I gave her my best smile.

"Oppa..." She was shocked, I can tell. And she nodded.

--------------

"Eomoni. Aboji. Halmoni." I bowed and greeted the elders as soon as I entered the door to her house, with her tagging along beside me. I wrapped my hand tightly around hers.

"Oh, it's Young Saeng. Cut the formalities! Come in and make yourself comfortable." Her dad was the first one to invite me in, and her mother went to the kitchen to fetch me a drink.

As soon as we settled down on the couch, we broke the news to them.

"Omma, Appa, Halmoni. We are getting married!" Suzy beamed as she raised her left hand, showing off the ring to them. That's our promise of love.

Father came over to me and slapped me hard on the back, laughing in that familiar deep voice of his, "Hahaha, Young Saeng ah, you know you are the only son-in-law that I would ever approve of!"

"Aboji, gomawo." I smiled, grateful to how he always gave me advice and how he always cared for me. "I will treat Suzy with all my love, care and respect. I will give her all the happiness in the world, this, I swear, I promise."

"Young Saeng oppa..." I saw tears b in her eyes and helped her wipe them away. She snuggled closer to me on the couch and held onto my hands.

"When are you two getting married?" Halmoni asked.

"Two months."

-------------

The phone rang and I picked it up, thinking it was from my dearest girl. I have been waiting for her at the studio to have our wedding photos taken, but she has not turned up after an hour, and she is not picking up my calls.

But the call wasn't from her.

"Is this Heo Young Saeng? We are calling from Seoul XX Hospital."

"Neh?" I was surprised. I didn't go to that hospital before, nor did I had any checkups recently, so why is a hospital calling me up?

"Miss Suzy Kang was admitted to the Emergency Ward due to a car accident and she is in a dangerous condition." The phone almost slid off my hands, please tell me it's a joke, "Please come down as soon as possible as she might not be able to wait any longer."

I looked out of the windows of the studio, it was drizzling and there was a massive jam on the roads. It's almost impossible for me to drive or to get a cab there.

Without much thoughts, I bolted out of the studio and ran as fast as my legs could take me, in the direction of the hospital.

My mind was almost blank, except that I was constantly calling out her name, "Suzy, Suzy, please hang on. Please wait for me."

Finally, I arrived before the emergency ward, I have no time to rest or to pant. It took me no time to find her, the nurses brought me to a room - the chapel - and she laid there motionlessly, while a white cloth was covered over her.

"SUZY!!?" It was just one week away from our wedding, how on earth could this happen? Why on earth is this happening to her? Tell me that this is a prank.

-------------

"Suzy!"

She appeared in front of me, I shouted her name and gave in all my might to chase after her, but she disappeared right before me before I can reach out to grab her wrist.

"Suzy! Where are you? Come out, please!"

"Suzy, I miss you."

There was no reply, and it was darkness all around me. But then, there was a beam of blinding light that shone directly at me, and I noticed from the shadows, that a figure appeared from behind me.

"Young Saeng oppa." I turned at the familiar voice, and this time, I managed to grab her, wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug. I don't want to lose her ever again.

"MY SUZY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? BOGOSHIPDA!" I cried.

"Young Saeng oppa, for the last five years, gomawo. I am really glad that you sang for me, and you stayed by me, but it is time for you to let it go."

"What?" My smile disappeared. I didn't really understand what she meant, I looked at her with a blank expression.

"Young Saeng oppa, jebal. Start a new life with a new girl. Forget me."

"Andwae. Shiro. Ani." I shook my head desperately, "Suzy, don't go."

But before I can finish my sentence, she disappeared once again and I woke up. It was all a dream. Every year on her birthday, after I celebrate it for her, she would always appear in my dream to thank me. But how can I...

-------------

That day, it's raining heavily. I went again to visit her at the cemetery.

"Suzy, I have brought a new song which I wrote lyrics for, and it definitely suit the weather now." I mocked, "It's called Rainy Heart." I said as I shivered in the cold when a sudden gust of wind blew at me.
 

"On one rainy day
Hiding the tears…
Heaven is showering rain on me as if it is mocking at me…
On one rainy day..
Lost in thoughts…
Longing for that memorable day..

(Rainy heart) Rainy day, while looking at the rain
(Rainy heart) Tears rolling down unknowingly
Why does my heart cries whenever it rains…
(Rainy heart) Who am I missing?
(Rainy heart) Today just passed by like that day..

On one rainy day
Walking on the streets alone…
My heart said to me as if it is making me cry..
On one rainy day
Lost in thoughts..
The farewell approaching me… "

My hands got weak and I lost my grip on the umbrella, it fell to the ground and the rain fell on me, heavily and mercilessly. And I sank to the ground.

After having that dream the other night, I made another promise to her, and to myself - I will stop torturing myself, but I will never ever forget her. Instead, I will keep her in my deepest memories, and I will only go through our past when I am feeling troubled, upset or lonely. At least then, I know that there has always been someone there for me. That's the best I can do.

My hair is wet and messed up, my face and clothes were drenched. I can no longer differentiate whether it's the rain or was it my tears. I looked at my hands, the silvery ring was still on my finger. I remembered putting it up myself on the day of her burial. As she laid there quietly in the coffin, I also slid one through her finger.

"Suzy ah, how can I ever let you go?"

-The End-

[Author's Note: Writing this story here, I was actually inspired by a piece of news I read earlier this year. It was about a man who held vigil everyday beside his wife's grave for 20 years, and he had passed away in January this year (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2547186/Man-spent-20-years-holding-vigil-wifes-grave-EVERY-day-dies-aged-97.html). It was indeed touching to see the deep love he held for his wife, and it gave me the inspiration to write this story. On the other hand, the title was named 'Sing for me Forever' because 'sing' has the same pronunciation as 'Saeng' and 'forever' in Korean is 'yeongwonhi', which has 'Young' inside, hence Young Saeng's name.]

written on 03.03.2014
published on 03.11.2014