Exhausted, you slump down onto the wooden floor of your practice room. You couldn’t seem to catch your breath as you reached for your water bottle that was long forgotten. That’s what happens when you are out of shape… that’s what came to mind as you watched yourself in the large wall mirrors, huffing and pathetic.  Every time you saw yourself that was all you could think of, was how pitiful you were and how undeserving you were of BTS. Comparing you to them you were just… nothing. They were all so perfect in every way and you…well look at you. With your average brown hair and unappealing face, but what you hatted most of all was your figure, if you could call it that. Your manager had taken you off the diet long ago, and you still didn’t understand why. Everything about you was just so unattractive you didn’t know how BTS managed to be around you when you could hardly stand yourself.  It had become so bad that you would constantly practice in your room alone so they would not have to see you and you would find every excuse there was to avoid them.

“Mie Mie?”

You looked up to meet eyes with Yoongi. He was sanding above you smiling, how can you smile at me like that?

“Come on Mie Mie, we just finished and manager hyung brought lunch!”

Oh great, just what you needed… more food.

You shook your head, “Nah, its ok Suga oppa. I’m not really hungry right now.”  The lie came out of your mouth so casually; you found it easier to lie if you believed it. That’s right Mie Xing… you’re not hungry.

His eyebrows raised and he looked surprised, “Oh? Are you sure? I mean there is plenty of food in our practice room, so don’t-”

You cut him off before his tempting offer got the best of you.

“No Suga oppa. I’m serious I’m not hungry right now, honest” it’s all lies “So you should go eat before the others get to it all.”

But he didn’t move. He just stood there and stared you down, and that only made you more self-conscious. See, Yoongi was always the hardest to fool. Because while the others members would just smile and nod when you turned them down, Yoongi would pester you like he knew you were lying. And maybe he did, who knows anymore?

“Well… well then at least come sit with us? I mean we hardly see you anymore, it’s like your avoiding us or something…” The way he said it made it sound more of a question, like he was expecting you to confess to dodging them all the time.  But you didn’t say anything to defend yourself, you just got up and left your water bottle on the floor as you lead the way to BTS’s room. You could hear him sigh behind you before he followed. The short walk down the hall was stiff and awkward. You could feel his burning gaze on you and you could practically fell the suspicion he held.

“Mie Mie!” was the first thing you heard when you opened the door. It was Jungkook, you two had always been pretty close seeing as you were close in age, just less than twelve months younger.  He came over to you and took you hand to drag you down next to him and V.

“Wah, look how tiny her fingers are. They’re like sticks!”

 He shoved your hand in V’s face who compared your pinkies.  Noticing everyone’s eyes on you, you pulled your hand away and put it in your lap after pulling your sleeve over it. Sitting in front of them made you feel exposed, and you hated it.

“How’s practice going Mie Mie?” it was Jin as V held out a plate for you. Your entire being was itching to reach out for it and finally eat like you haven’t in months, but you simply pushed it back to him with a smile.

“It’s pretty good, I mean I’m still getting on the one part after the chorus but I’ll get it eventually.”  

J-hope looked up from his food, “Are you sure? We could help you if you want.” No, you guys can’t help me…

You nodded and gave him what must have been the twentieth fake smile today, “Neh, I promise.”

Just then your stomach let out the most embarrassing low rumble. You could feel the back or your neck heat up and you shrunk in yourself as if to hide from them.

Jimin burst out laughing while Suga eyed you from his place in the circle.

“Yah! Why don’t you just e