maybe you should have knocked?

Sanghyuk huddled himself in the farthest corner of the laundry room, trying to collect himself and stop his hands from shaking. them into his arm skin probably wasn't the best way to do it, but pain was better than panic.

God, every time he closed his eyes, he could see it again. Over and over again—he shook his head but the images wouldn't go away. His throat closed up and his breath came out in harsh pants. Get a grip you weenie, he told himself. It wasn't a big deal. It wasn't a big deal. It wasn't. Right?

Who was he kidding.

Did Hakyeon-hyung know? God, he had to, right? Hakyeon-hyung always knew everything that went on in the group. Hyuk wanted so badly to rush to him and into his ever-open arms and cry, confused about what he had seen—but what if his hyung didn't know? He would basically be tattling, or maybe even ruining lives.

His shoulders dropped with that heavy weight and his hands went to clench at his chest instead.

There was no way he could go to Hakyeon-hyung now.

Seriously, he needed to calm down. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. Eventually, his hands came to a slow tremble.

"Why can't Hakyeon-hyung find him himself?" he grumbled, heavy footsteps wandering the hall in search of Taekwoon. Hakyeon wanted to talk to him about their hotel arrangements in America, but it seemed a little too last minute to Hyuk.

Whatever. The sooner he found Taekwoon, the sooner practice could reabsorb him. He lazily strolled the hallways of the company, tossing his head from side to side with the hopes of finding his elusive hyung soon. Up one hallway, down another . . . It seemed like he would never find him.

He checked pretty much every room he could think of—recording booths, small private practice rooms, rooms with the pianos . . .

When he stopped to check his phone for the time, he realized he was pretty near Wonshik-hyung's "private" workspace. He decided that maybe Wonshik knew where Taekwoon was and headed off that way with renewed vigor.

He came around the corner and a pounding caught his attention—even though the walls were pretty much all soundproof, he guessed that the bass was strong enough to penetrate beyond them. Shaking his head, he walked closer to the door and raised his hand to knock, only to stop and realize the pounding was coming from the room. He rolled his eyes, even if he knocked, Wonshik-hyung probably wouldn't answer anyway. Why didn't he just put on his headphones?

Hyuk slowly turned the door handle and carefully peaked his head in, waiting for the pounding music to attack him.

It didn't.

He frowned and ducked his head in a little more—

Holy ing .

Hyuk pulled the door closed and slammed himself onto the wall right next to it, hand clutching at his chest and eyes bugging out of his skull.

Oh god,I did not just see that. His heart pounded in his head and his teeth gnawed the inside of his cheek. I'm gonna be sick—

Without a second thought, he rushed away and back to Hakyeon.

The dorm's door opened and Hyuk scuttled out of the laundry room and into his shared room with Wonshik, diving under the covers. He was supposed to be sick, what he played to Hakyeon after stammering out that he couldn't find Taekwoon. Manager-hyung had driven him back early and he immediately locked himself in the laundry room, although he couldn't really remember why. But now that the rest of the members were back, he would have to . . . have to . . .

He clenched his eyes closed and hid under his blankets.

The bedroom door opened a few minutes later.

"Hyukkie," Wonshik hummed quietly, tiptoeing into the room. "Hakyeon-hyung told me you were sick? I managed to talk Taekwoon-hyung into making you something to feel better."

From under the blankets, Hyuk listened to Wonshik moving around the room and changing from his practice clothing. "Unless you're asleep?" he tried again, still changing, "Oh well, I can eat your food. I wonder if you even ate today . . ." He was talking to himself at that point. Hyuk stiffly waited until Wonshik left the room to reveal himself.

His face was beet red.

"Hyukkiiiiie!" Hakyeon opened the door and saw Hyuk sitting up, who quickly rubbed at his eyes and faked waking up. "Aww, my poor baby," Hakyeon genuinely worried, sitting by Hyuk's side. He raised the back of his hand to Hyuk's forehead and frowned. "You're really hot, how can you have a fever?" he wondered with a frown, "You're pretty red too . . . You should lay back down until Taekwoonie is done cooking, okay?"

Hyuk internally cringed at hearing his hyung's name but stiffly nodded anyway. He flopped back down onto his bed the moment Hakyeon left the room.

He took the ten free minutes to calm down and mentally prepare himself for seeing either Wonshik, Taekwoon, or both—in the same room, probably sitting on the . . . same side of the table. His face scrunched up, filling with heat again. Why me?

Putting on his sick face, Hyuk cautiously left the room and slowly looked around. He tilted his head to see Taekwoon bowling up whatever food he made and then turned to the other side to see Wonshik lounging on the couch, reading something on his phone. He blinked with surprised and then took a deep breath.

Hakyeon came out of the other room. "Han Sanghyuk. You. Are. Sick. What are you doing out of bed?" he scolded with a frown, taking sharp steps forward to usher Hyuk back into his room.

"Hakyeon," Taekwoon interjected quietly, setting bowls and plates down onto the table, "He should eat out here, what if he spills something?"

Hakyeon's frown deepened and Hyuk wished Taekwoon wouldn't have said anything—especially since they had drawn Wonshik's attention from the other side of the dorm. Dotingly, Hakyeon settled Hyuk at the table and then called Hongbin and Jaehwan so they could all eat together.

Hyuk's stomach twisted when Taekwoon and Wonshik sat next to one and other. He tried to let Jaehwan and Hongbin's animated chatter distract him but . . . He could only see one of Taekwoon's hands and it was making him paranoid. When he saw Wonshik shift slightly with a strange expression flit across his face, he suddenly decided he wasn't very hungry anymore.

He held his stomach for effect and stood up from the table, quietly excusing himself. Before going back into his room, he spared one more glance back at Taekwoon and Wonshik. He immediately wished he hadn't.

Taekwoon was giving him a look—a strange look, a close look, a . . . a knowing look. The corners of his poised mouth turned down and he almost seemed worried. Hyuk escaped.

He was sitting against the wall on his bed, staring blankly at the one across from him, when Wonshik walked in. Surprised, Wonshik looked at Hyuk. "Hey, shouldn't you be asleep? It's pretty late and you need to be better soon."

Hyuk spared Wonshik a brief but dead look and it made the older man falter. Hyuk knew he probably should've tried a little harder to pretend like he was still sick and that nothing was wrong, but everything around him was crashing.

How could Wonshik-hyung pretend like nothing was wrong? Like he wasn't doing something really bad? It wasn't just bad for him, but it was bad for Taekwoon and the rest of the group—and the company. Didn't Wonshik-hyung think about any of that? He felt so frustrated but so emotionally spent, having constantly been thinking about it.

"Are you really close with Taekwoon-hyung?" he suddenly asked, averting his stare from the rapper.

Wonshik seemed to falter, but then gave a chuckle. "As close as you can get with someone like him, I guess," he replied, ambling across the room to his bed. "Why are you asking?"

Hyuk mindlessly shrugged. "It seems like you two spend a lot of time together recently."

Wonshik hummed. "Taekwoon-hyung is more metaphorically-oriented than I am when it comes to songwriting and I enjoy learning from him." he explained distractedly, reaching for one of his notebooks. "Is something wrong, Hyuk-ah?" he asked after finding it.

"Do you care about us a lot? VIXX, I mean."

Wonshik stopped and stared at Hyuk like he had just said the most profound thing in history. Then, his eyebrows scrunched together. "That's a weird question, Hyukkie," he said a little more sharply than needed, "Of course I care about VIXX, I care about all of you." He shook his head. "Maybe your fever is worse than we thought. Do you need to go to Emergency?"

Hyuk scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Hyung, I'm not even sick. I faked it . . ."

The rapper seemed baffled. "What the hell? You can't just skip out on practice like that, Hyuk,"

Hyuk sat forward and narrowed his eyes at Wonshik. "Yeah?" he challenged, "And you can't just go around doing . . . doing whatever it is you're doing with Taekwoon-hyung! Especially not—not that!"

Wonshik froze. Hyuk nailed it. Hyuk made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat. Gross. he thought to himself, but immediately felt bad for even it cross his mind.

Thick tension filled the room.

"Just . . . Just tell me why, because I don't . . . understand." he croaked a few long moments later, trying not to watch the color drain from his hyung's face with morbid fascination.

"Hy-Hyuk-ah . . ." Wonshik laughed nervously, scooting towards the edge of the bed, "I don't . . . know—"

"If you're just going to lie," he interjected forcefully, "forget about it. I'll go ask Taekwoon-hyung instead."

Wonshik quickly raised his hands, stopping Hyuk from leaving the bed. "No, no," he panicked, standing, "I'll . . . I'll go get him . . ." Leaning back slightly, Hyuk watched as Wonshik looked around the floor, like he wanted to pick up something (his dignity maybe, Hyuk bitterly thought, but probably his thoughts instead) and then stumbled out of the room. Hyuk fell back against the wall, letting out a breath.

He felt so tired . . . and so bad. So bad. He shouldn't have acted like that. He was going to apologize. Honestly, he really just wanted to understand. What was it that was so good about doing . . . whatever it was with Taekwoon-hyung that seemed so worth putting all of VIXX and maybe even the company in the worst kind of danger? Didn't Wonshik-hyung care if the group stayed together?

Several quite minutes passed.

The door opened again and Hyuk looked up, seeing Taekwoon confidently stride into the room. In contrast, he watched Wonshik shuffle in like a scolded child and the two of them made their way over to Wonshik's bed. Taekwoon sat down and made direct eye contact with Hyuk—it suddenly felt like their trainee days again, where that stare made his blood run cold and his hand shake and his head feel light.

He dropped his gaze.

He expected anything, scolding, anger, annoyance, anything but the question that came from his hyung's mouth.

"Do you trust us?"

His eyes widened with surprise as he looked up, looking anywhere but Taekwoon's. Instead, he found himself looking at Wonshik's fidgety hand trying to hide behind Taekwoon's back, where Taekwoon's hand seemed to run its thumb over Wonshik's knuckles. The action made his stomach tingle and his face warm. Maybe he shouldn't be looking at that.

Instead he looked back up to Taekwoon and his ever-intense gaze as he waited for an answer. What kind of answer did he honestly expect? Of course Hyuk trusted his hyungs—all of them, and with his life too. But what did that have to do with anything . . . ? He slowly nodded his head and it seemed to slightly satisfy Taekwoon.

"Honestly tell us what you're worried about, Hyuk-ah." Taekwoon seemed more concerned than standoffish. Hyuk relaxed.

He glanced to Wonshik, whose eyes were glassy but hopeful and nervous, and then looked back to Taekwoon. He cleared his throat. "Well . . . I saw—Well. You and hyung are . . . together? That's . . . weird." What else was there to say? If he had seen either of them with a girl, doing whatever it was they were doing, it wouldn't be such a big deal and he would have shrugged it off, even subtly joked about it.

But no. He saw them together. Doing things that only girls and boys should be doing together. It wasn't like he hadn't ever . . . heard of that sort of thing or even seen it before—but it wasn't right, and they could get in a whole lot of trouble. Sure, he understood skinship and being touchy with the other members—with other boys, but that was all friendship stuff and good fun.

Hyuk had thought boys were handsome before—hot, even—and there was no doubt that his hyungs were really attractive, but they weren't . . .

He chanced looking at Taekwoon, who seemed just as patient as ever. He couldn't think of anything to say, so he just blurted out the first thing on his mind. "Does Hakyeon-hyung know?"

Wonshik looked at Taekwoon with some kind of worry and Hyuk took it as a no. Taekwoon sighed. "We planned to tell him . . . at some point. Maybe soon now, since we weren't exactly planning on being caught." Hyuk glanced over at Wonshik, whose head was bowed slightly. "Are you going to tell him?" Taekwoon asked coolly.

Hyuk's heart clenched. He didn't like that something kind of important was being kept a secret from their leader, but at the same time, he wanted his hyungs to be honest on their own time, when they were ready. He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to scrub away the images from the private workspace. God, it was so gro— . . . really uncomfortable for him.

Hyuk quickly stood up. And then sat back down. And then stood up again. The two older men watched him.

"It's . . . " he started after a long time of silence. "It's okay." It sounded more like he was trying to convince himself, but a small part of him figured it was a start. He looked back at Taekwoon and Wonshik and their interlaced hands that they tried to hide in the scrunched sheets.

Hyuk held hands. He held hands with Hakyeon when he was scared or tired. He held hands with Jaehwan when they skipped around, having fun. People held hands. It was like a staple of any kind of good relationship. That was the way he had to look at it. Taekwoon-hyung and Wonshik-hyung were really good friends who liked holding hands. And pinning each other against the wall—

Hyuk nearly gagged and Taekwoon sat forward, concerned. He managed to put up a hand and nervously shake his head. "This is . . . gonna take a little getting used to, I'm sorry hyungs . . ."

Wonshik enthusiastically shook his head. "No, no," he quickly said, sounding relieved. Hyuk internally cringed.

There was nothing wrong with this . . . right? They were two people. People loved each other, but that didn't make them different from other people. He bit the inside of his bottom lip. This was a . . . better way to see it, he told himself. Two people loving each other—under kind of really dangerous circumstan—

Hyuk audibly sighed. This was definitely gonna take some getting used to.

He threaded his fingers together and tentatively looked up at his hyungs. They were talking to each other in low tones that he couldn't make out and took their inattention to really look at them. Taekwoon-hyung's eyes were soft and unguarded while he looked at Wonshik-hyung, it was so different from how he usually was. Their hands were interlaced and Taekwoon-hyung was still running his thumb over Wonshik-hyung's knuckles.

He cleared his throat and they both stopped talking to look at him. "Um . . . A-Are you . . . happy? Together, I mean."

The two of them looked at each other for a second and Hyuk saw the warmth rolling over their faces as they smiled. It made him feel blushy and tiny.

Wonshik chuckled, sounding the most comfortable he had all night. "Yeah, we are."

"Guys," Hakyeon called from outside the room, "better start taking a shower and getting to sleep, we have things to do tomorrow."

Hyuk looked back at Taekwoon and Wonshik. Taekwoon stood and their hands weren't linked anymore. "I'll go first then," he said, and then gave Wonshik a meaningful look before leaving the room.

A slightly awkward silence fell. Hyuk cleared his throat again and Wonshik looked almost worriedly at him. ". . . I—I'm sorry, hyung," he finally sighed. "I didn't mean to cause you and Taekwoon-hyung any bad feelings or troubles. I was just . . . worried." His voice grew thick and he had trouble finding his next words. "You and hyung mean a lot to me and are always watching out for me and supporting me. Now I'm going to support and watch out for you, I promise."

He saw the tears welling up behind Wonshik's black-rimmed glasses and he offered a small smile and a high five. Wonshik laughed and returned it.

Before bed, Hyuk stepped out of his room to get water from the kitchen. Even though it was late and dark, he saw two people leaning on the balcony railing and recognized them as Taekwoon and Wonshik. He knew he shouldn't, but he watched.

Wonshik reaches his hand out towards the lit city line and Taekwoon's follows soon after, linking their hands together. Wonshik's shoulders shake with laughter and he turns to Taekwoon. They look at each other for a long time before Taekwoon finally leans in—

Hyuk looks away, his stomach twisting slightly.

As he walks back to his room, a small smile forms on his face.

If they're happy, then so is he.