It's been more than a month since Minhyuk and I talked. This last few weeks have been a nightmare inside my head, I've been going nuts just because a tiny kiss. I know what you may think, you're crazy, you love him, it was just a kiss. And you know what, you are right, it was just a kiss; that doesn't matter to me, he could have kissed whoever he wanted, the only condition is that the one he kisses should have been a guy.

That might sound even crazier, so what if he kisses a girl.... That's normal. Well from my point of view that's not normal.

I meet Minhyuk back at school when we were thirteen, I was the new guy in school and he was the first guy who speaks to me, everyone else seemed to ignore me, he was the one that got me under his spell.

Minhyuk was very kind to me, and he always protected me from any bully. We would often go to his house or mine to do homework and then one day he was the one that made the move on me. He kissed me on the lips, and I was already trapped. Just a small kiss it was all it take for me to fly high to cloud nine. I was amazed by how good it made me feel that I kissed him back, then he told me he had feelings for me, feelings still not as deep as love, but he cared for me.

That's how it all started both of us too young, both of us naive, both of us gay.

That's my point, we were gay for each other, I discovered it with him and I never saw any other man the way I saw him.

When I found Minhyuk kissing that girl, at the college party it made me mad like hell. I mean we discovered our uality together, why would he kiss a girl????

Call me crazy, but I would have forgiven him if he had kissed any of his stupid friends from college and by stupid friends I mean Eunkwang and Chanseob.

So back to my day. Today it's been a crazy day, first day on a new job, finally after two months Yook Sungjae has a new job, and one that can easily pay the bills.

After work, I decided to go to that place again, curiosity's been killing me lately, my heart wants to see him again yet my head says that I should be careful and not risk myself.

Seven fifteen on the afternoon and I arrived to my favorite burger shop.

"Hey Sungjae ah it's nice to see you again!" my excited hyung hugged me welcoming me to his place.

"Hyung...."

"I'm so glad to see you again, after what happened last time I thought that you might not come again"

"Last time?" I asked a bit dumbfounded.

"I mean Minhyuk kissed you last time, and you rejected him, so I thought that you might not want to come again since he comes often" will I see him again tonight?

"Hyunsik hyung..." I was speechless he knew everything, so Minhyuk really talks to him often, maybe hyung can tell me more about Minhyuk...

"Ne?"

"What do you think about our situation? What has Minhyuk told you about us?" Maybe I don’t want to know, but I can’t shake this feeling inside of me.

"To tell you the truth, I’ve seen him suffering so much about the whole situation, I know you’ve suffered for this too Sungjae, but he hasn't been having it easy either, he always told me how much he regrets everything, that moment of doubt"

"I didn’t knew, he always came looking for me, but I always rejected him, until someday, he desisted, I was hurt inside, how could I trust him again?" I looked at my hands resting on the table, all those feelings betrayal, confusion, sadness, at first they were all I felt, then I started to feel pain and sorrow, and lastly uneasiness, because I couldn't make any friends, I forgot my old ones and started living inside a shell.

"I didn't knew your side of the story I mean what you felt all this time" he said and hold my hand.

"Hyung" was ask I could say, feeling that burning sensation in my eyes, I knew the tears were threatening to fall like a cascade from my eyes but I remained strong.

"Please Sungjae don't be like this, you were once the strongest and most confident kid I knew, I can't stand seeing you like this, it's almost as if you were someone else in my friend's body" that was when I couldn't contain them anymore, I started sobbing and the treats stated to fall.

"I can't hyung, I don't know how, everytime I try to be more confident it only last for a few hours, then the doubts starts again, what if I meet someone else and betrays me again, I can't hyung, I just can't"

All the pettiness inside me taking, in the back of my mind I even pettied myself because of this.

"YAH, don't you ever dare to talk like that in front of your hyung" the strength in his voice startled me "You know I love you right? I've known you since we were little kids, I only want what's best for you, and even if you don't realize it, Minhyuk is" I saw his eye’s smile and I knew he was only being good for me.

Maybe he was right, maybe after all this time, the remedy for all of this was Minhyuk, after all he was the one that brought me out of my shell the first time. Maybe he can do it again, but would I be able to trust him?

When I calmed down I thanked him and left the place, direction unknown, just a little walk to fresh up my thoughts, until I got to a park, it was the park at back of his house, yet I didn't cared and sat on the swing, it always made me feel better, I kept swaying back and forth, until I felt someone sat besides me, I didn't paid any attention to him or her, I just stayed in my own world.

I kept on swinging replaying everything in my mind. All the time we spent together, or our plans to move together, our dream to go on a honeymoon, it was as if everything was imprinted in my mind and would never let me go.

About half an hour later I was ready to leave the park and go back home. I stood from the swing and was surprise by the image of the guy who once was the man of my life.

"Hey"

"Hi..."

"What were you thinking?"

"Just stuff..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah..."

"Can we talk about us?"

"I don't know if I'm ready Minhyuk..."

"Then, when?"

"I don't know, a couple of weeks... Maybe months... I'm not ready..."

"Don't you think it's too much time? I don't mean to be rude, but we've been hurting for so long, don't you think it's finally the time for us, to forgive, forget and move on?"

"It's just I don't know..."

"Don't know what?"

"Don't know how to trust you..."

"Then don't do it, let's start over, from the start, let's rewind everything and pretend that we've just meet for the first time"

I was resistant for a moment, could this be the best choice for us?

"How do you intend to do it?"

He extended his hand and smiling told me "Hi, I'm Lee Minhyuk, I live around here and I've seen you sometimes at my friend's place, nice to meet you"

"Pretty funny Minhyuk, he was my friend first" I said trying to sound annoyed.

"Yah, keep playing!!!"

"Ani, shiro" I said as I made my mehrong face.

"So you don't want to play along, fine then be it" He started to walk away, and I started to worry, I don't know what I did wrong.

"Hey, wait" I said trying to catch up with him, I reached his arm and turned him around.

"I knew you would fall for it" he said smiling, yeah I fall again like a fool.

"Yah"

"I still know you so well Yook Sungjae" his hand touched my face, caressing my cheek and I felt this warmness inside, the one I thought I would never feel again in my life.

Chu... It didn't take long for our lips to come closer. This time I was the one who kissed him. I, for once in a long time wanted to be the bold one.

I felt the shock in his expression and then he hugged me, deepening our kiss. I can't remember how long it lasted, it seemed like forever. Sometime later we had to part, both trying to catch our breath.

“So are we together again?”

“How can we be together again? We’ve never been a couple, I just met you”

“But you just kissed me”

“Sorry, I just walked into you, my fault” I said and left a dumbfounded Minhyuk behind me.

This was it, this was the moment my heart was waiting, the moment to move on, and I knew we both suffered along the way, but I’m willing to give one chance, just one.

“Hey, Sungjae, wait for me” I heard as I kept walking….

The End