"I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry." - Unknown

Today, I've seen him yet again - holding a letter in his hands with a small grin on his thin, pinkish lips; painting his flawless features. He seemed content and it was enough to make me smiled throughout this hard and long day.  

I have been wondering about the letters he received once in every week for the past two months. He always flashed that cute eye-smiles of his whenever he got that little piece of white papers. I never know what the genuine contains nor do I know who's the one writing them. My older brother, Minseok said that the mysterious letters were written by one of his friend in his class but it was practically impossible when the said person has already breathed out his last breath about seven weeks ago.

Nonetheless, no matter what happens - even if they were from his dead secret admirer or either his boyfriend, I'm still hoping for him to notice my seemingly ethereal presence. I'm not asking much - just a slight attention from him, my three years crush.

~

He closed the journal gently and watched as a raindrop makes its way down the window glass, creating a path where it then leads to the wet ground. The only audible sound was the sound of pouring rain hitting the fragile glass.   

His preoccupied mind had been filled with the thoughts of that certain person. He was tired of being a stalker. Plus, there's too much things about Oh Sehun he needed to find out. And he finally decided that he will actually face that pretty boy tomorrow, for real.   

It grows and blossoms it dies and wilts it happens in the beginning and happens in the end, it can make you cry it can make you sad it can make you smile and can make you brave. What is it?

- To: Dearest, Oh Sehun.

Charaters:

| Oh Sehun | Kim Jongin | Lu Han

In the place where memories rest
Even in the warmth left
at the tip of my fingers
You are there, you are there
Your scent, your face

Please look at me,
look at me, look at me
I feel you, I feel you,
I feel you like this
I tried to hold onto the way
you speak, your smile
I tried to hold onto you

In the place we were together
In the moments that
I started to resemble you
I was so happy just
by walking in the rain with you
But you’re not here, you’re not here
How can I live as I erase you?
In the times we walked together
In the places where the memories
and lingering attachments were made
I’m standing there because
I miss you so much

Look at me, look at me, look at me
I feel you, I feel you,
I feel you like this
After barely resembling the
way you speak, your smile
After barely resembling you

In the place we were together
In the moments that
I started to resemble you
I was so happy just by walking
in the rain with you
But you’re not here, you’re not here
How can I live as I erase you?
I miss you so much
I can’t erase your name that
was barely permitted to me
My name that only you called
out is asleep right here

In the place we were together
In the moments that
I started to resemble you
I was so happy even though
I couldn’t sleep at night
But you’re not here, you’re not here
How can I live as I empty you out?
In the times that we
should have walked together
In the places where our future
and my hopes still have to be made
I’m standing there because
I miss you so much

 Jin- Gone