The Missing Piece-Pocpocpockii
OC Bashing Shop {HIATUS}OC
Amy is a really cool character, she’s got that little sarcasm in her that needs to be let out more. Her image was really appeling to me, I’m glad you didn’t change her just tame her (;D). She sounds like an Asian that lives in the US, not white wannabie but a little more ‘daring’ Asian. She’s got spice and relatability (well, on the single part), I feel she’s a character that readers can connect with.
27/30
PLOT & CLICHÉ
Unique plot, not cliché and quite intriguing. It’s a little exciting to read and gets readers wanting more, I’m sure all of us want a story like Amy’s (I know I do). The necklace confused me for a second but then I understood the concept after re-reading the forward. I’m guessing there’s a little supernatural in this story regarding the necklace? I can’t wait to see how Chanyeol falls into play though, I feel that’s what your readers are going to keep reading for. But really overall your plot is great, just try not making too complicated in the future with the whole necklace thing going on there.
27.5/30
KPOP CHARACTERS
We haven’t really seen much of Jung Ah but I love her. Great character and love how you’ve portrayed her. Jong In we haven’t seen much of either but he seems so in love with Amy and so happy it makes me a happy (and a little sick because too much happy). Chanyeol was unexpected, like talk about wow jealous much. I hope you give these character more screen time in the future and let their characters also be developed along with Amy’s.
8/10
GRAMMAR AND FLOW
Your grammar wasn’t bad, you had very little mistakes in the first chapter but it soon disappeared. Maybe proof read it once or twice before publishing so you can pick out silly mistakes example using she instead of he or vice versa. The flow of the story was quite well, the beginning was a little confusing because of the whole necklace thing but it became clear shorty after. Everything seems to be fitting together and nothing has really set off course
26.5/30
89/100 OR 89%
The Missing Piece by Pocpocpockii
Well done! You have scored higher than 85%, you will be featured in the hall of fame section. Happy writing ^^
-strawberrii_chu
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