It's been what? 6 weeks since I left and 17 days since we last spoke to each other...

How do I describe my feeling? Should I be happy? Sad? Disappointed? well lets rewind 17 days back or maybe longer... before I left we made a promise to meet each other but that sadly didn't happen... I wanted to give you something, something which to me is very important...

You maybe wondering what the gift is but that will remain a secret and it will only be between both of us..a secret that only both of us would understand, it may be a gift that we would normally call simple however, to us theres a meaning behind it (smiles) 

"No one has ever done this for me, I'm very happy" he said 

It may not have been a very expensive or luxury gift but theres a say that what matters most is that it comes from your heart, to be honest it was my first time giving someone a gift that has a deep meaning behind it.

All my life I never thought that I could experience something this meaningful and beautiful, and I really have to say from the bottom of my heart that you are someone really special, someone whom I thought I would never be able to meet.

"But I didn't give you my gift... :(" he said 

Although a part of me feel disapointed as I did not receive your gift, but another part of me feels happy...happy that there will be a chance for me to meet you again, it may sound cheesy but I really would like to meet you again maybe just maybe this time we would be able to do the things that we weren't able to do. 

"I don't know when I will come back though :(" said __ 

(sigh) I guess there isn't really anything I could do about this but if its fate I will then patiently wait for that moment, but I have a feeling that we will be able to meet someday maybe in the future but who knows anything could happen...

There are days when I would just blankly stare at the bear you gave me and wonder what would have happened if I was still there...would we become closer?...or maybe could I have figure out my feelings? I am not really sure about how I feel about you but I am sure you are somewhere in my heart.

I have always thought to myself "have I fallen for you" I never really express this feeling to anyone because I am scared...scared of getting hurt.

"Believe in me, I'll wait for you" he said 

(heart skips) Here again you manage to make my heart skip a beat is this the feeling of crushing one someone? 

I am not so sure myself but after what you have said to me the sentence constantly repeats in my mind as if its reminding me that I have someone waiting for me...I never looked at any guy because I would only always think about you. 

Could I come to a conclusion that I have really fallen for you? Maybe not yet but I am sure that if I were given more time to spend with you, I would for sure fall for you hard...

For now I will conclude that somewhere in me has feelings for you but would I continue to feel this way in the future? 

I can't promise that I would be able to wait but I am happy to know that you are willing to wait for me...however, I do hope that someday you would move on whether or not you have or had feelings for me because it will really make me feel bad knowing that I am leading you on without knowing my feelings for you. But a part of me wants to be selfish, I hope and somehow wish that you will wait for me no matter how long it is. 

Then again lets just stay this way for now, hopefully we will be able to meet one day and by that time I hope that I would be able to sort out my feelings. 

Hmmm...although I am right now a little confuse about my feelings but I can say that I really miss you and hopefully you know that too...and I just wanted to say I too will wait for you :)

我好想你 (I really miss you)