I don't know if he knew or not, the way my eyes would light up when he walked into the room. Or the way my lips would lift into a smile when his arm suddenly wrapped around my shoulders.

                It hurt though, when he would come to me asking questions like what should he say, or what should he get her? Where should he take her out for dinner? What should I wear? Do you think I look good enough?

                You always look good. I wish I could say that, but all I can do is help him find a matching sweater, or telling him to iron his shirt. There are so many moments we've spent together; I wish I could tell them all.

                "Yah, can you bring me my glasses? I forgot to put in my contacts this morning since I was rushing. I didn't think I would need my glasses," he chuckled sheepishly. I could see him scratching the back of his head with his lips curled into a smile.

                Yeah, sure. No problem, where are you?

                "Why do you always do this to me? Huh?" I jokingly replied as I cleared my throat. "Where are they?" I asked although I already knew where they were. On his bedside table, under his lamp where he would always leave them after sending her one last text message.

                "They're under the lamp on the table beside my bed," he quickly replied before sneezing loudly into the phone.

                Bless you.

                "Oh, alright. Let me get them." I calmly answered as I turned into his room, immediately spotting them where said. "Where are you?" I asked as I grabbed them, gently turning them in my hands as I observed the scratches on his lenses.

                "I'm by the new café. You know the one they just opened? Two blocks away from the convenience shop," he answered. "Or, you know right by the ramen shop? The one we always go to?"

                "Of course I know, who do you think I am?" I laughed as expected. "I'll be there in a bit."

                "How long are you going to take?" A hint of anxiety in his voice.

                I'll be there right away.

                "Depends on traffic, maybe in like twenty," I shrugged my shoulders as I put on my beanie. The I sound of bells rang through the phone as I pulled my keys from my jacket on the couch.

                "Jwehsonghamnida," I heard BaekHyun softly apologize. "Yah, don't take too long. Arasso?"

                Don't worry, I won't.

                "Can't promise," I sighed, barely a whisper as I watched the call end.

«««

                "I thought you said you'd take at least twenty minutes," BaekHyun chuckled thankfully as he took the glasses from me. His elegant fingers brushing against mine so softly.

                I held back the urge to smile as I looked up at him and shrugged.

                I took some shortcuts.

                "No traffic," I lied quietly, stuffing my hands into my pockets.

                I watched as he easily slid his glasses on before smiling brightly at me. He leaned in and gave me a quick side hug before fixing his hat on his head.

                "Gomawo," he grinned one last time before dashing into the café shop.

                I watched as he quickly slid into the booth across from her, his lips immediately lifting into a smile. A smile bigger than the one he gave me. A smile I wish that was meant for me.

                "Hey, can I use your phone? I forgot mine back home," BaekHyun asked as he searched his pockets carefully. "I swore I brought it with me."

                No problem.

                "Why do you always do this?" I laughed heartily as I swiftly pulled out my phone and handed it to him. And it happened again.

                His fingers brushed against mine as I slid the phone into his, wishing the moment would last for eternity.

                I watched as he quickly dialed a number from memory, placing the phone to his ear as he waited impatiently.

                I heard her quiet voice echo through the air before the silence was replaced with his sweet voice, serenading her. It took me by surprise; luckily he was too distracted to notice. I quickly regained my posture and cleared my throat awkwardly, wishing that I hadn't brought my phone either. Maybe then I wouldn't be here to endure this.

                "Saengil chukahae!" BaekHyun sang cheekily one last time with a wide smile before sighing. "Mian, I forgot my phone so I borrowed my friend's."

                I could only pretend that that didn't hurt. Hiding it behind a silent expression.

                "Of course I got you a present," he chuckled before shooting me a nervous look. "I'll call you later okay? Annyeong~"

                He held the phone out to me, sighing satisfied.

                "What would I do without you?" He grinned before dragging me after him into the store.

                What would I do without you?          

«««

                "Yah, do you want to go shopping with me?" BaekHyun asked out of the blue as he eagerly put on his jacket.

                "Shopping? Why?" I replied, immediately placing down my plate of food onto the table. The flashing tv screen in front of me now a part of the background.

                "I need to get something and I thought that since I'm going to the mall I might as well see if they have anything new," he answered hastily, stuffing his feet into his shoes.

                "Yeah, yeah, hold up, let me get my stuff," I abandoned my plate of food, rushing into my room.

                "I'll be in the car!" He called out before I heard the door shut.

                Hurry up. Don't keep him waiting.

                I was out the door a second after him, barely securing the look on the door before jogging to the car, slipping in and shutting the door before putting on my seatbelt.

                "What are you shopping for today?"

                "Today's her birthday, and I still haven't found her a gift yet. I was actually wondering if you could help me find the perfect gift," he turned to give me a sheepish grin.

                I easily hid the frown with a smile, forcing it to reach my eyes.

                "Of course," I answered quietly, biting back my tongue.

                The quiet sound of the droplets hitting the glass window brought me back to reality. I slowly looked outside to see the rain begin to fall quickly, coloring the white sidewalks to a dark gray.

                I lazily turned my attention back towards the tv before a peculiar red color caught my sight. I glanced at it only to realize it was my umbrella. BaekHyun's usual blue one missing from its spot.

                And as if by coincidence, the familiar ringtone of his call rang loudly bouncing off the walls.

                Immediately, I reached out and answered the call, bringing the phone to my ear.

                "Yoboseyo?" I inhaled, holding my breath.

                "Hey, I was wondering if you could bring me an umbrella. I brought mine but it's jammed and it won't open," he said worriedly, the sound of rain pattering against the road also transferring through.

                "Where are you?" I quickly replied, grabbing my keys and the red umbrella.

                "I'm at the park, by the bus stop," he answered hastily.

                "I'm on my way," hustling out the door, I jumped into my car before speeding off.

                 «««

                I slowed down as the park came into view. Now to find the bus stop.

                I quickly spotted him standing under the waiting area, looking at his phone impatiently, brow furrowed. My lips twitched into a smile as I drove up to him, grabbing the red umbrella from the passenger seat.

                I rolled down the window as I pulled up to the bus stop, leaning to get a better look at him.

                "Hey, you made it," he smiled before reaching in, taking the umbrella as I handed it to him.

                "I told you I was on my way," I grinned back before noticing he was alone. "Where are you going? I can give you a ride since I'm already here."

                He smiled lightly before shaking his head. "No, it's alright. Thanks though."

                "Are you sure?"

                I never got to hear his answer as he looked up before gesturing for me to go.

                "The bus is coming," he replied, "I'll see you later."

                My lips slowly closed as I nodded silently, driving away unwillingly. I pulled around the corner to see if he would board the bus. What happened next seemed to be worse.

                I watched as she stepped off the bus and he pulled open the umbrella, welcoming her underneath its safety and protection.

                It was silly. Everything was. Especially how I was getting jealous over how he would treat her so politely, when the way he treated me was much better. Or so I tried to convince myself.

                "Here, I got you something," I smiled as I dropped the bag into his lap.

                "What is it?" He asked, looking up at me curiously.

                My smile widened at his expression as I sat down next to him on the couch, exhaling calmly.

                "The store was having a sale so I figured I'd get you one since I was getting myself one. And the fact that it's getting cold," I shrugged innocently.

                And because you said you needed a new one.

                I watched as he gently took out the wrapping paper before taking out the scarf, revealing its gentle detail and soft blue-grey tint. I chose it specifically to match his jacket. I knew he liked matching things.

                "Thanks," he smiled before his eyes widened like it would when he would have a new idea. "Hey, you don't mind if I give it to her do you?"

                I could feel my smile faltering as I stared at him in disbelief, seeing him examine the scarf all over as if eyeing it to see how it would look like on her.

                Don't. Don't give it away. It's my gift to you.

                "Well it's yours, what you do with it now isn't my business," I shrugged it off, pretending it was nothing. When it really meant everything.

                "Well you did buy it for me," BaekHyun sighed uneasily as he turned it over in his hands, observing the fabric.

                "It's fine," I gave him a small smile for reassurance, before pushing myself off the couch. "I'm going to shower now."

                "Hey, it's me. I have a surprise for you," I heard his voice say softly behind me.

  «««

                The towel draped around my head as I walked into the living room, just then spotting the two of them outside on the sidewalk. Time seemed to stop as I saw BaekHyun pull out the scarf from behind his back, smiling lightly.

                The way his mouth moved, I knew he was explaining to her that he had gotten it from a friend, but wanted to gift it to her. Making sure that she would be okay with the fact that he himself hadn't bought it. Her reaction was innocent, maybe wondering if that friend was alright with it.

                His nod seemed to answer her question and she smiled in response. She happily reached for the scarf before BaekHyun gently pushed her hands away, giving her a smile. He then carefully wrapped the scarf around her neck. Smiling in satisfaction, finally seeing her wearing it.

                I realize. No. I know that these are only moments. Memories. But I don't want to be a memory. Not to him. Memories I cherish would be nothing more but the past for him.

                I wish I could tell myself to move on. I know that I don't have any chances, but it just seems like the thought can't be drilled into my mind. Maybe it's the way he looks at me sometimes. Or just the way he speaks so softly to me when he's thinking. When he's voicing his thoughts with so much passion.

                The quiet click of the coffee cup hitting the glass plate brings me back as I look up at BaekHyun in confusion.

                When I see the coffee cup again though, I can't help hide the smile on my lips knowing that that's the cup I got him for Christmas. Knowing that he uses it every day to drink his coffee or choice of beverage.

                I watch as he sets his phone down with a smile playing on his lips, anticipating for something.

                As I open my mouth to ask him, the doorbell interrupts me, seemingly bringing BaekHyun back to his senses. Out of reflex, he automatically stands, accidentally knocking the sky blue cup in the process.

                Time seems to slow down again as I watch my world tumble to the ground. Witnessing my heart shattering into a thousand pieces with the cup as its contents spill on the ground.

                "Crap," BaekHyun manages to mumble through his teeth before shaking his head. "I'll get that in a bit."

                The rejection stings and I can't help but tighten my grip on my own cup, staring blankly at the broken glass on the ground. Lonely and left behind; like me.

                The room is suddenly illuminated with more light as BaekHyun opens the door, welcoming her in for the first time. I can hear his cheerful voice floating through the air as she giggles and walks in, stepping out of her shoes.

                I'm forced to bring my attention to her though when BaekHyun clears his throat loudly, giving me a look. I smile lightly in return to let him know he has my attention before turning to look at the girl with soft brown locks.

                "This is EunAe," BaekHyun proudly introduces, intertwining his fingers with hers too lessen the tension.

                My breath was already gone the moment his hand had hit the cup. And as I sat there silently, I forced a smile as he then introduced me.

                "EunAe, I want you to meet my best friend."

                He gives me a grateful smile, as if expressing all that I've done and helped him with for the past year. How stupid of me to believe. Everyone says that the person you love, as long as they're happy; you're happy. But how was I supposed to be happy when he wasn't with me? How was I supposed to be happy when I had helped him into his new relationship? You tell me. The only thought that was crossing my mind was that, we could have been.

                "EunAe, this is" he exhaled quietly, "JongDae."