Sanghoon wonders sometimes if he’s made the right decision in leaving the group.

It’s mostly mindless work in the ice cream shop, the machines do just about everything. But Sanghoon takes pride in being careful, making things perfect, providing the best possible experience for the customers. As co-owner, he finds himself being meticulous in every aspect of the shop, be it sweeping the floors, or serving their shaved ice, or making the specialty cold sweets they offer.

Even so, he finds himself with more than enough time to think. To dream.

The music in the shop is soft, relaxing, but Sanghoon finds himself nodding in time to the heavier beats of their debut song, somehow stuck in his head despite not listening to it in a while. Even now, he stays away from 100%’s albums, their performances. He finds it… painful, to say the least, when he tries to listen to their songs. He misses his hyungs, misses them a lot, but every time he hears their music he’s reminded of just how small a role he played in the group.

Especially when he hears the new songs. With the group whittled down to five, he finds that they sound better in his mind. More balanced. No dead weight that’s given random lines just to say he’s part of the group. Just three singers, two rappers, with parts divvied up almost evenly across the board, nothing lacking, nothing extra.

He can’t stop himself from feeling bitter sometimes. He’d tried hard to improve. Had practiced singing and harmonizing over and over. But in comparison to the three vocalists, he just wasn’t strong enough. Wasn’t distinct enough. Not when he’d been street casted for his looks, not his talent.

But at the same time… while he’s bitter over feeling useless in the group, he can’t deny that he’d enjoyed being an idol. Had enjoyed the fame, the recognition, the adoration from their fans. Had enjoyed the opportunities, being able to do things like Dream Team, record reality shows, act in their MVs.

Enjoyed feeling like part of a group, one that accepted him the way he was, loved him for who he was. Sure, they teased each other, and sometimes fought, but at the end of the day they had been as close as family.

That’s the one thing he misses the most. Sometimes he goes on youtube, checks their channel, watches the little behind-the-scenes clips, and he misses his hyungs desperately. Misses being part of their interactions, misses feeling included.

He watches the way they play around with each other, the way they tease each other, and thinks that, just as it is with their songs, they don’t seem lacking. Their interactions are as lively as ever- and Sanghoon thinks that he might be the only one that misses their time together, because his hyungs seem fine without him.

He doesn’t realize he’s frowning until he hears the door to the café open and he has to force his lips into a smile. “Welcome to- hyung?”

Out of all the members that could have come to visit him, this is the member that he least expected to see, mostly because, well, he shouldn’t even be in Seoul right now. But Minwoo is standing in the entrance, a small smile on his lips, the one he always has when he’s feeling just a little awkward and out of place.

“Welcome to Hyung? And here I thought the place was called Sobok.” And just like that, it’s like they never left, like they’re still part of the same unit, like they’re not practically strangers who haven’t met in months.

Sanghoon wrinkles his nose at the bad joke and rolls his eyes. “Your jokes are worse than ever. Did the military affect your head?” Despite his words, Sanghoon is smiling. He’d never admit it but he had somewhat enjoyed Minwoo’s jokes. They were horrible, yes, but it was more the effort he put into trying to make others laugh, trying to make others more comfortable, even if it meant sacrificing his own dignity.

The smile doesn’t escape Minwoo’s notice of course. “You can’t say that when you’re laughing at my joke! I see that smile, don’t try to hide it.”

“I’m laughing at you, not with you hyung.”

Minwoo places a hand over his heart dramatically. “Oh- I see how it is- so this is how you treat your poor hyung who has been suffering in the military all this time- I should never have come back to visit you- you don’t even offer me a seat!”

“You sound more and more like an old man every day. Maybe I should start calling you ahjussi?” Sanghoon snipes back, even as he (finally) leads Minwoo to one of the seats near the back. It’s easier for him to talk there. “But anyways- what are you doing here? I thought your service doesn’t finish until next year.” It’s only been a few months since Minwoo began his military service, after all.

Minwoo grins. “I got leave for a few days. It’s not like we’re holed up in training all the time, you know. I just missed you guys so I came back for a little while.”

You guys.

The fact that Minwoo still includes Sanghoon as part of 100% makes his heart ache. He swallows, the smile fading from his lips, and glances aside, suddenly unable to quite look Minwoo in the eyes.

Silence falls awkwardly between them. Some things never change, Sanghoon thinks- Minwoo’s noonchi is as bad as ever. But Sanghoon supposes he can’t really talk- not when he’s the one that’s brining the mood down.

To his surprise, Minwoo says quietly, “Even if you’re on hiatus- even if you end up leaving 100% for good- you’re still one of us. One of the group. One of the people that we trained with, lived with, worked with for so many years.” Sanghoon looks up, and Minwoo has a small smile on his face. “…you’ll always be one of us, Sanghoon, no matter what path you choose in the future.”

Sanghoon’s throat is tight, and he says nothing, just nods a little, but Minwoo seems to get it anyways. Maybe he’s starting to read people a little better. Maybe.

“I missed you too, hyung.” And Minwoo is smiling and Sanghoon finds that he can smile back.

“See? There’s the smile I’ve been waiting for. It’s gotten even more innocent and carefree since I last saw it.” Minwoo is laughing a little, warm and comforting and oh Sanghoon hadn’t realized how much he missed this, this easy interaction the familiar camaraderie and his heart is thumping a little in his chest but he’s smiling so much his cheeks hurt.

“Did you put on weight? Eating a little too much of your ice cream?” Minwoo asks next, a mischievous glint in his eyes. A few months ago, Sanghoon would have taken great offense, but now he just laughs.

“Of course hyung, you haven’t lived until you’ve tried our ice cream.” There’s obvious pride in Sanghoon’s voice and Minwoo looks a little surprised. “Want one? On the house, just this once.”

Minwoo grins. “Free food is free food. Besides, I think I can eat it guilt-free. The military doesn’t give us dessert.”

Sanghoon gets up and goes through the familiar actions of making the café’s signature dessert, almost painfully aware of Minwoo’s intense gaze. There’s something unreadable in Minwoo’s eyes when Sanghoon comes back and sets the small bowl of ice in front of him.

“…you look happier. Healthier.” Minwoo says at last, his eyes flicking down to the colourful dessert.

Sanghoon snorts. “Weren’t you just saying I gained weight?”

Minwoo shrugs, taking a bite. “Doesn’t mean you’re not healthy. Just because idols are required to be sticks, doesn’t mean they’re the healthy ones.” His smile is a little bittersweet. “…I can see why you gained weight though, this is good.”

Sanghoon isn’t sure how to respond to that, but it doesn’t seem like Minwoo meant for him to. He takes a few more slow bites of ice cream, then puts the spoon down to look Sanghoon in the eye.

“Are you happy?”

Sanghoon can’t hold his gaze.

Minwoo nods a little, leaning a little closer to Sanghoon. He puts a hand on Sanghoon’s head, ruffling his hair- Sanghoon has always been taller than Minwoo, but that never stopped him. “Whatever you choose in the end… just make sure you can look me in the eye and say that you’re happy. Ok?”

There’s something so fatherly in Minwoo’s actions that Sanghoon can’t help but laugh. “All right, all right ahjusshi, I will.” His tone is light, but there’s honesty in his voice and Minwoo nods.

“Well, I should get going. I just wanted to drop by and check in on you. Uh… I’ll go visit the others tomorrow, you want to come with?”

Sanghoon hesitates. He’s… scared, he realizes. A little worried about meeting the others again. Wondering if everything will still be the same, if they miss him as much as he misses them.

But then he looks at Minwoo, at the smile on his face and the way he’s fiddling a little with the bottom of his shirt and he realizes that Minwoo is probably just as nervous as he is, was probably nervous coming here too and he’d still done it, because they were friends were still friends even despite being apart and Sanghoon knows that even if things have changed, he wants to see them again.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll go.” His voice is stronger than he expects and he breathes a small sigh, feeling as if a load has lifted off his shoulders.

Minwoo’s smile widens and he tugs Sanghoon into a brief hug. “I’m glad you’re doing well. We’ll talk more tomorrow, yeah?”

“Ok hyung. Thanks for coming.”

Sanghoon still doesn’t know what he’s going to do in the future. If he’s going to go back to 100%, if he’s going to continue working in the café, if he’s going to go back to school and try for a degree, but when he shows up the next day he’s greeted with smiles and hugs and laughter and he knows that no matter what path he chooses, his friends, his brothers will be there for him, every step of the way.