A.N.: OMG!! I feel like such a bad author. I essentially had to leave this story for a while since I had to prepare for my thesis. I'm so sorry to all my reader. Thank you for staying with me. Well, I have a few weeks off so I'll try to finish the story in that time. I'm really sorry again. Again, my story is unbeta-ed and I finished writing this at 3 in the morning. SO, any comments you have to improve this chapter or any other chapters will be greatly appreciated. Encouragement will also help me! Thanks and sorry again!

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Jackson doesn’t know how long they two of them sat there staring at each other. It could have been minutes but it felt like hours. Jackson was tempted to avert his eyes, but he could see Youngjae’s confident smile (almost smirking as if he knew that Jackson was going to give up) and he gets more determined not to look away. To be honest, he doesn’t know why he is even having this stare off against Youngjae. It just, kind of, happened. And now that it did, his pride won’t let him be the first to look away. Stupid, yeah, but that’s Jackson Wang for you.

Suddenly, a loud crash, followed by shouting could be heard coming from the direction of the room Yugyeom and Jaebum is currently in. Jackson quickly looks at the closed door in concern. What is going on in there? thought Jackson. As he moves to get up, the man across from him finally speaks.

“I won’t do that if I were you,” said Youngjae calmly, smile still on his lips.

“Why is that?”

“It’s just my advice to you. From my experience, when shouting occurs between the two, it’s best to let them be. Any interference is usually badly received. But like I said, it’s just my advice,”

“Thanks for the advice,” replied Jackson dryly, moving towards the door.

“If my advice isn’t enough then how about this, what do you think they are fighting about? Or should I say who?” said Youngjae loudly, stopping Jackson in his tracks, “What do you think will happen if you come bursting through the doors? Everything just suddenly becomes rainbows and unicorns again? What do you think that you could do to help resolve whatever is happening in there?”

Gritting his teeth, Jackson fights the urge to turn around and shout at the man to shut up. He knows that it is probably a bad idea for him to go in but he can’t help it. It is instinctual to want to support your love ones and currently, the one he loves the most is in there alone. To go in is to make it worst, to keep out feels too close like betrayal.

“Those two are not the type to involve others in their problems. The moment you get in there, the argument is just going to be postponed,” Youngjae continued, ignoring Jackson who is practically shaking in anger, “Knowing the two of them, if they don’t resolve it at once, they are just going to ignore it. They are similar in their stubbornness at ignoring things. So if you want this to last longer, then go ahead and barge in. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

With that, Jackson could hear the man get up and walk away, leaving him to stare at the door alone.

What should I do?

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“ IT HYUNG! I AM NEVER AGREEING TO THAT!” shouted Yugyeom at his older brother, Jaebum, who is looking too calm for someone who had a vase thrown inches near his face.

“Yugyeom…look…if there was any other way…” said Jaebum, tone calm, every bit the collected leader he is.  Yugyeom hates it, especially now. For something as important as his boyfriend, he doesn’t want to talk to JB the leader; he wants to talk to Jaebum, his older brother.

“NO HYUNG! I WON’T DO IT! THERE IS NO WAY I’M LETTING THAT HAPPEN!”

“Yugyeom,”

“NO!” shouted Yugyeom again. He starts pacing, getting really frustrated at his older brother.

“Yugyeom, listen please,” pleaded Jaebum, sounding a bit tired of the argument.

“NO HYUNG! Don’t you get it! I’m never letting him do something that dangerous. I can’t believe you could even suggest using him as bait!” Yugyeom explained as he stops and stare at his brother, hoping to make him see sense.

“Look, I know you don’t like it but it’s the logical thing to do. Jinyoung wants him…” started Jaebum again. Yugyeom feels like screaming! He heard it the first time. Hearing it again will not make him like it any better.

“And you’re just going to give him Jackson?”

“No! Of course not! If you would just calm down and listen to my plan,” pleaded Jaebum again, hands up as if to stop Yugyeom from speaking, frustration leaking into his voice. 

“No hyung. Any plan that involves Jackson in danger is not good enough. I’ll never let that happen,” Yugyeom insisted strongly. There is no way he would let Jackson near anything dangerous if he could help it.

“Too late for that, don’t you think so,” Jaebum suddenly whispers softly.

“What did you say?” said Yugyeom slowly, hoping he heard his brother wrongly.

“If you really wanted your boyfriend to be far from danger, then you’re doing a really ty job, don’t you think?” said Jaebum steely, anger evident in his voice that is gradually getting louder, “You knew Yugyeom, you knew from the moment you decided to speak to him that this could happen. Don’t even ing try to deny it. It’s the nature of our lives. We put EVERYTHING and EVERYONE around us in danger. Knowing this you still pursued him. Not only that, you kept him a ing secret from ME! ME! I’m your big brother! I’m supposed to be the FIRST person you go to with news like this. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PROTECT YOU WHEN YOU KEEP THINGS LIKE THIS FROM ME!”

At the end of his tirade, Jaebum is standing and visibly shaking in anger. Yugyeom could only stare at his brother in disbelief. Of course Yugyeom knew that. He knew that getting into a relationship with Jackson could get both of them in trouble. But he was lonely. So, so lonely ever since Jaebum took over the organisation. Lately, his brother has been spending less and less time with him, immersing himself into the role of the fearless and perfect leader that he needs to be. Yugyeom could understand that. How could he not when everything Jaebum has done was for him.

It was for him that Jaebum dropped out of school at 14 after their mother abandoned them leaving only a note behind, saying that she never wanted them and since their father had died wanted nothing to do with them. It was for him that his brother worked various jobs to pay for that small rented room that was all they could afford and to put him through school. When the money wasn’t enough, especially since no one wanted to hire a dropout and the landlady was threatening to kick them out, it was for him that Jaebum joined a gang for the promise of bigger rewards at 15. It was all for him that his brother forced himself to become ruthless and unfeeling, climbing through the ranks, doing whatever he needed to provide his little brother with whatever he needs.

Yugyeom understands and is thankful for his brother’s sacrifices but he felt like he was slowly losing him. That was the reason he decided to join the group against his brother’s wishes, to be closer to him. If hurting people got him closer to his brother, he will be ruthless. So ruthless in fact that he soon finds himself climbing through the ranks quickly. A prodigy people said, just like his brother. Physically, he achieved his goal. He was soon at his brother’s side, helping him and protecting him for a change. Emotionally, his brother’s displeasure at his choice to join this life soon caused a bigger rift between them. Now, he doesn’t really know where they stand.

So, could you really blame him for trying with Jackson? The day he saw Jackson crying at the front of his house, he doesn’t know why but he wanted to help him. When they got to know each other, for the first time in a long time, he felt genuinely happy. Yugyeom realised that he wanted something outside of this life. To fill the void left by his brother with something not tainted by blood. Something, or someone, innocent and pure. Someone like Jackson. Now he has tainted that too.

“ you hyung,” said Yugyeom vehemently, glaring at his brother with tears in his eyes. For the first time in his life, he felt hatred for his brother.

Quickly turning around, Yugyeom stalks to the door unable to stand being in the same room with his brother. How dare he! How dare he remind him of something that Yugyeom already knows! For something that Yugyeom is already kicking himself for. He needs his brother to help him, not make him feel worse. But before he reaches the door, he is suddenly enveloped in a tight embrace. It has been so long since his brother has held him like this that he immediately froze, surprised.               

“I’m sorry Yuggie. I’m really sorry,” whispered Jaebum softly, “I didn’t mean it that way. I’m really sorry.” Hearing his childhood nickname made his anger recede a little and causes more tears to flow. When he gives no response, the arms around him tightened.

“Yuggie, please, I’m sorry. Hyung is very sorry,” said Jaebum gently and regretfully, “It’s just…It’s just I’m worried about you, about this whole mess. I’m always worried about you. Every time you aren’t near me, I feel like I can’t stand still. I hate that I couldn’t protect you better. Now there is this mess with Jinyoung. He now has a real reason to go after us and we’re not ready. It’s just…Nevermind. I didn’t mean to blame you for anything. You did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing. I should have been a better hyung. I should have paid more attention. Hyung is very sorry Yuggie. Please forgive me.”

It has been so long since his brother spoke to him like this, comforted him. Yugyeom doesn’t really want to say anything. He is afraid that if he spoke, the spell would be broken and everything would go back to the way it was.  Instead, he just nods his head.

He could hear his brother sigh in relieve behind him before loosening his grip. Yugyeom could only sigh in regret, knowing that the moment is lost and everything is going to go back to normal. The comforting brother is gone now that forgiveness has been given and the leader will be back. It was nice while it lasted.

But he is proven wrong when he is turned around and put in an even tighter embrace. He felt like he was 11 years old again, like when he came back home from school to find his mother gone. Jaebum had embraced him the same way. His brother seemed so strong, like an unmovable mountain, ready to take on the world for him. He feels safe and protected.

“Help me hyung,” whispered Yugyeom, face pressed against his brother’s chest.

“Well, I did have a plan but…” said Jaebum flippantly, obviously joking.

“Hyung…” whined Yugyeom, feeling like a kid again.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry,” said Jaebum with a chuckle that Yugyeom felt more than heard, “I’ll think of something.”

“Without involving Jackson,” Yugyeom insisted.

“Yes, without involving your boyfriend,” said Jaebum, Yugyeom could almost feel his brother roll his eyes, “Speaking of your boyfriend, why don’t you two go home and rest. You both had a rough day and I'm sure he wants to see you soon. Have Youngjae drive you back. Don’t want any accidents to happen.”

“Can I just stay like this for a while?” asked Yugyeom shyly, not ready to let his brother go yet. It’s not often that his brother shows his softer side and he wants to savour it for as long as he can.

“Of course Yuggie, as long as you want,” agreed Jaebum readily, kissing the top of Yugyeom's head and tightening his embrace.

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 “Hyungnim, I’m back. Yugyeom and Jackson are safely back at home. I personally waited until they both went in and waited for an hour to see if anyone followed us. I told one of the members to stay there and observe for the night but I don’t think anything will happen tonight,” reported Youngjae with a formal bow.

“Good job Youngjae. Make sure there is someone watching them at all times,” replied Jaebum distractedly, sitting behind his desk and staring at a silver picture frame in his hand.

“Of course, Hyungnim. Consider it done,” said Youngjae firmly, ready to do anything his leader asked of him.       

Sighing loudly, Jaebum looks up at Youngjae who immediately averted his eyes. “Youngjae,” said Jaebum tiredly, “Call Jinyoung.”

“What Hyungnim?” asked Youngjae in disbelief, “You want me to call him?”

“Yes,” replied Jaebum, once again looking down at the picture of him and Yugyeom, “We’re starting early.”

“Yes Hyungnim,” answered Youngjae solemnly, understanding the reason now, “Consider it done.”