"Sehun, can you help me with something?"

"Sure Tao, what is it?"

"Can you help me check on Lu-ge? I'm...worried about him."

"Why? What happened?"

"Recently he seemed kind of...off. When I was going out earlier he was preparing to go to a party, he should be home, but I want to make sure..."

"I see... Don't worry, I'll check up on him."

"Yea, thanks Sehun."

"No problem. Don't worry too much, I'm sure he's fine."

--

Sehun did tell Tao not to worry, but he is undeniably worried after the phone call, especially more so when he dials Luhan's phone number, only to be directed to voicemail.

He tries a few more times, still unsuccessful, and throws his phone on his bed with more force than necessary.

Sehun groans in frustration, pacing to and fro in his room, and he stops. 

Making up his mind quickly, Sehun grabs his jacket, phone and keys, puts on his shoes haphazardly and dashes out of his house, towards Luhan and Tao's.

Did Lu-hyung drink too much? Did he get into an accident? Where is he now? Is he alright?

The thoughts whirl around in his mind as he runs, the cold night wind running with him.

He reaches the apartment building, and runs up the stairs, all the way up to the seventh floor.

He is too agitated to wait for the lift, too worried of wasting time. 

Sehun steadies himself by the wall when he reaches his destination, his breath coming in short pants from the exertion, before pushing himself upright to stand in front of the door.

And he presses the doorbell.

He waits for a few minutes, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips, before pressing the doorbell again and again.

By the fifth press, Sehun hears a thump at the other side of the door and sees the door open, revealing the very person he wants.

Luhan is leaning on the door frame, staring at Sehun with surprisingly clear eyes. 

Sehun sees that Luhan, with his smoky eye makeup and flushed cheeks, is still in his party clothes.

He can also still smell the alcohol off him.

"Hey Sehun, it's late, why are you here?"

"Hey Lu-hyung, it's late, why are you still drinking?"

They stare at each other, before Luhan steps away from the door frame. 

Sehun thinks that Luhan is going to shut the door, so he sticks his foot in.

"Come in."

Instead, Luhan opens the door wider and raises an eyebrow at the outstretched leg.

Sehun clears his throat awkwardly, before stepping in after Luhan, almost recoiling from the overwhelming odour of alcohol.

Luhan strides towards the coffee table, grabbing one of the dozen of soju bottles on it, and drops onto the couch.

He downs it in one go, and puts it clumsily to one side, his hand reaching automatically for the next bottle.

Sehun wants to reach out to stop him, but he is frozen to his spot, watching as Luhan continues to drink.

He doesn't know what to, because this Luhan is not the Luhan he's used to, not the Luhan who's all warm and sunny and talkative.

This Luhan is cold and dark and silent, this Luhan scares him.

He can only wait until Luhan gets actually drunk.

So Sehun watches as his hyung downs bottle after bottle, only stopping when he finishes the last of the dozen.

Sehun expects Luhan to stop completely or just doze off right then and there, but Luhan stands up unsteadily and stumbles towards the kitchen for more.

This time Sehun does reach out urgently to catch Luhan, stopping him.

"Hyung, let's get you to bed."

Sehun says softly, his grip tight, but not hurting, on Luhan's wrists.

"I don't wanna."

Sehun doesn't know if he should smile when he hears the pout in Luhan's voice. 

Drunk Luhan is whiny.

"Come on hyung, it's late, let's stop drinking. Let me take care of you."

Sehun coaxes endearingly, he's inching Luhan slowly up the stairs.

"Aww, baby Sehunnie is all grown up! He's trying to take care of someone. How sweet."

Sehun can't help but break into a smile when Luhan reaches up to pat his head. 

Drunk Luhan is cute.

"I'm not a baby Lu-hyung."

Sehun rebuts whiningly, he has finally got Luhan into his room.

"To me you're always a baby Sehunnie."

Luhan slurs as Sehun lies him gently onto his bed like a fragile doll, and Sehun's smile grows wider. 

Drunk Luhan is precious.

"But that doesn't mean I don't love you like a man."

And his smile drops.

"You're so shy, so endearing, so beautiful, so...so perfect. ...But...I...cannot...have you..."

Luhan's voice is clear and Sehun's mind is frozen.

"Wh-what do you mean hyung?"

But Luhan has already fallen asleep. 

Drunk Luhan is honest with his feelings.

--

Luhan sacrifices everything for Tao.

He had sacrificed his youth to allow Tao to live a better life.

Their parents has passed away tragically in a fateful car accident yearsago, leaving behind the two brothers.

They weren't really poor, but Luhan had wanted to make sure that they have a stable life, so everyday after school, he would be taking up odd jobs to build up their savings.

And Luhan was proud to say that he did a good job. 

They were able to live life as per normal, possibly even better than before.

He had realised how happy and thankful Tao was whenever he came home everyday to place a kiss on Luhan's head, a smile on his face no matter how hard the day was.

And Luhan thinks that it's worthwhile, not going to bars and parties like most of his classmates, not getting a girlfriend when his crush had confessed to him, not enjoying life at the prime of his time.

He had sacrificed his dream of being a researcher at a well-known facility to come to Korea with Tao.

Tao hadn't really said out loud that he wanted Luhan to come, but Luhan could see plainly the fear of loneliness and the unknown in Tao's eyes when he said he was going to study abroad, alone. 

He knew that Tao was afraid, so Luhan had dropped everything and made his decision on the spot.

"I'll go with you. It'll be fun to live in another country anyways."

And he could tell from the way Tao had flung himself onto him that he was extremely relieved.

Luhan had patted Tao on his back, already thinking of the draft letter he would have to write to reject the facility's offer.

Luhan has sacrificed many things for Tao, and he will continue doing so, because Tao is his beloved baby brother.

--

Luhan wakes up with a throbbing headache.

He is glad that today's a weekend.

He sits up slowly, trying not to make his headache worse. 

The light flitting in from the windows is not helping at all, Luhan thinks.

Grimacing, Luhan swings his legs over his bed, when he notices a cup of water with a lid over it, and some pills.

Sighing gratefully, Luhan pops the pills into his mouth and wonders if Tao has woken up and was the one who gave him the aspirins.

Luhan shuffles towards the door, but just as his hand touches the doorknob, Tao bursts in, crashing directly with Luhan.

"Taozi-ah!!"

Luhan shrieks from underneath the flailing body of Tao, his headache throbbing painfully.

"Oops, hehe, sorry gege, didn't see you there!"

Tao giggles, and pulls Luhan up easily, before dropping himself onto Luhan, wrapping his long arms around his elder brother's smaller frame.

"Lu-ge, are you alright? I was worried..."

Tao adds in a soft voice, and Luhan can only smile while patting Tao's head lightly.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me Taozi-ah."

Tao pushes himself off Luhan, and continues, a pout on his lips.

"You were so weird all week long and I was wondering if I did something bad... You were never like this before, and I was...I was really scared. Did I do something wrong? Are you angry at me?"

Apparently Tao is still worried, but Luhan dispels his worries with a light chuckle.

"How can I ever be angry at you, you big baby. And no, you didn't do anything wrong. It had been a terrible week for me, so my mood was quite bad. Sorry for making you worry Taozi."

"Okay, you're forgiven."

Tao sniffs playfully, and Luhan snorts.

"Next time you can tell me your worries Lu-ge! And I'll tell you mine!"

"Yea yea."

Luhan agrees to it, knowing that Tao won't stop until he agrees.

Tao grins gleefully and bounces out of Luhan's room.

"Hurry and wash up Lu-ge! I'm hungry! Oh! Do you need some aspirin from the kitchen?"

Tao bobs his head back into the room and when Luhan shakes his head, Tao disappers again.

Sitting back onto his bed again, Luhan sighs as he looks at the cup sitting at his table top.

Thanks, Sehun-ah.

--

Luhan is currently working as a manager of a retail shop.

His friend, by the name of Kris, is the son of the owner of the retail shop chain, and had offered to help Luhan get a job at the company.

Luhan had accepted, but he hadn't known that by just accepting this kind gesture, troubles will come his way.

He had only been working there for a week, and there were nasty rumors about him already.

So he had decided to quit, to start over as a salesperson or some sort, to work his way up, to show the people that he deserves the job.

And he did, he had shown all those rumor-spreading people that he's capable, and did not 'sleep his way into the job' as what they were saying.

Luhan had earned his job, along with the respect of his fellow collegues, and that's what made him proud of himself.

He will continue to work hard, and hopefully, by the end of the year, he will earn a promotion, to get a place in the company.

That way, he will be able to provide a better life for Tao.

--

Sehun had met Luhan for the first time when the elder waited for Tao on the last day of school before summer break.

There were whisperings of a very cute and handsome male waiting at the gate for someone amongst the girls.

He had ignored those comments because the girls tend to exaggerate, but he knew they were right when he saw the guy with his very own eyes.

But there's just one thing that Sehun would have liked to add.

That guy was beautiful.

Sehun had thought that perhaps the guy was waiting for his girlfriend or something.

So imagine his surprise when Tao rushed past him, straight into the arms of the very person he's admiring.

For a second, the thought of 'he's Tao's boyfriend' went past his mind.

But that thought was dispelled as soon as Tao dragged the stranger towards him, introducing the male as his older brother, Luhan.

Sehun had went with the brothers when Luhan had invited Sehun to come along for their little celebration with a soft smile and gentle voice.

And he has been stuck with them ever since.

Till this day, Sehun still wonders how the two brothers can be so similar, yet so different.

Both are stubborn, headstrong and never backing down from their arguments until Sehun steps in.

Luhan is brave and not afraid of the unknown, while Tao is more timid, only daring to venture when there's someone by his side.

Both love to tease, and Sehun finds it perfectly fine when they tease each other, but dreads it whenever they turn their targets onto him.

Luhan is strong, yet gentle, while Tao is strong too, but never gentle when he's with him.

But no matter how different or similar they are, Sehun can still feel the strong brotherly love and reliance they have for each other.

And Sehun was envious of that.

But Luhan had not forgotten about Sehun in all the times the three had spent together.

Luhan took him in like a more silent but as whiny Tao, and Sehun accepted Luhan like the big brother he had always wanted.

--

"Lu-ge! I-"

Tao stops short as he sees as stranger with his brother.

'Hey Taozi-ah, what is it?"

Luhan turns around, looking confused since Tao rarely leaves his sentences hanging.

"Who's that?"

Tao doesn't finish his sentence, but asks a question instead.

"I'm Kris."

The person beside his brother answers instead, his deep voice sending shivers down Tao's back.

"Oh."

Tao says, before turning and running back into his room, ignoring Luhan's shout.

"What was that?"

Kris is completely surprised, this is the first time someone literally ran away from him.

"Your face is too scary Kris."

Luhan jokingly replies when Kris says his thoughts, though he can't hide his puzzlement at Tao's behaviour.

And to that reply, Luhan receives a smack on the head from Kris.

--

"Taozi?"

Tao hums a response to Luhan, and he feels a dip on his bed.

"What did you want to tell me before?"

Luhan asks as he sits at the edge of Tao's bed.

"Oh, err..."

Tao says awkwardly, changing his position to sit up straight, facing Luhan but keeping his head down.

"Do you know how to make cupcakes?"

Luhan tilts his head to the side, getting more and more confused at Tao's behaviour.

"As long as I have the recipe I can make them."

Luhan still replies Tao nonetheless.

"Oh, then err...can you bake them with me?"

Tao asks, his voice getting smaller and smaller as he asks his question.

"Tao, what's this about?"

Luhan catches something fishy and asks in a warning tone, but Tao refuses to reply.

"Do you like someone?"

And Luhan knows he hit the jackpot when Tao gasps and shakes his head in denial, but Luhan still can spot the light blush on his cheeks.

"You little panda, you do! It's Sehun isn't it?"

Luhan grabs Tao excitedly, while Tao looks absolutely flabbergasted at Luhan's comment.

"How do you know?!"

Tao shrieks, flushing red already.

Luhan grins truimphantly and smacks Tao on his head.

"I'm your brother, I know everything about you. Now tell me everything."

So Tao, knowing he has no other choices left, gives in to Luhan's demands, he tells him why he likes Sehun, when he realises he likes Sehun, and answers all sorts of questions Luhan asks.

At the end of it, Tao is embarassed and Luhan is satisfied.

"Very well, I'll go search for a nice recipe for you Taozi. Oh, my big baby's all grown up!"

Luhan exclaims excitedly and leaves Tao's room.

He also leaves Tao to wonder why Luhan's smile seems weird, and why there seems to be an indescribable sadness beneath Luhan's eyes.

--

Luhan flies to his room and closes the door, his smile breaking, his mask falling apart.

He blinks rapidly, trying to keep the tears in as he gasps.

Luhan falls to the floor, crying soundlessly as he pinches himself to remind him that this is not a dream.

Tao liking Sehun is not a dream.

Him feeling his heart breaking is not a dream.

"They look good together."

After a few moments, Luhan finally collects himself, his breath steadying as he stands up and moves towards his table.

"Tao is happy."

Luhan reminds himself as he reaches to switch on his laptop.

"If Tao is happy, then it's fine."

He opens the browser in search of cupcakes recipies.

Luhan has sacrificed many things for Tao.

His youth, his dreams, and his love.

--

Sehun hasn't met Luhan at all since the confession, and he wonders if Luhan's delibrately avoiding him, or it's just fate playing with him.

But he hears from Tao that Luhan's been really busy, now being promoted to work at the company itself.

So maybe it's just fate for them to not meet at all.

And maybe it's just fate for Luhan to come finding him, instead of him waiting for Luhan.

"Why did you reject Tao?"

Sehun didn't really think that this will  be their topic of discussion when they meet.

But he thinks that Luhan should have known the answer, it's simple actually.

"Because I don't like him that way."

Luhan only continues to look at him expectantly, asking him to elaborate silently with his eyes.

"Tao's like a brother to me. I like someone else."

Sehun breathes in deeply and gazes directly into Luhan's eyes.

"I like you, hyung."

"What?!"

Luhan breathes out in shock.

"I like you, Luhan-hyung. I've liked you ever since you came to the basketball match to cheer for me. I've liked you ever since we went to the school's festival and watched the fireworks together. I've liked you ever since we went to a carnival together, and you'd try your best to win the prizes for me. Heck, I've liked you ever since the moment I first saw you, standing outside the school gate waiting for Tao. I've always liked you hyung. And you like me too, right?"

Sehun is sure of Luhan's answer, but he asks the question anyway.

"...Yes I do."

Luhan replies Sehun softly, confusion still swimming in his eyes, but his answer to that question will never change.

"But I'm sorry Sehun, I need time."

Luhan takes a step back and Sehun freezes, his arms in mid-air.

"I need time."

Luhan repeats.

Sehun lets his arms drop to the sides of his body and replies in a shaky voice.

"I'll give you all the time in the world Luhan-hyung."

"Thank you."

With that, Luhan turns and runs away, away from Sehun.

Sehun didn't think that by the end of his confession, Luhan will be running away from him.

He had thought that he would have Luhan in his arms instead.

--

Luhan sits on his bed that night, contemplating if he should drink to forget all his troubles, much like the time when he first realised that Tao may like Sehun.

But a knock on the door breaks his thoughts.

"Lu-ge?"

"Yea, what is it Taozi?"

Tao enters the room and sits on the floor, and Luhan can see the dark circles under his brother's eyes are getting worse.

It had been only yesterday when Tao crashed into Luhan's room and bawled his eyes out afterall.

"You met with Sehun right?"

Tao's eyes, though tired, look serious, and so Luhan nods.

"I'm sorry-"

"I'm sorry that you like Sehun but Sehun likes me?"

Tao cuts Luhan's sentence and completes it, smiling sadly at the surprised looks on his elder brother's face.

"I know... Sehun told me."

"..."

"Ge... I just want to say if you like Sehun too, then go for it. I'm fine with it. I don't want you to sacrifice your happiness for me. I know you have sacrificed a lot of me, and I don't think I deserve such a selfless brother. But if you'll let me be selfish like I've always been, then I want you to be with Sehun. I love you Lu-ge, and I want you to be happy. Sehun makes you happy."

Tao moves towards his older brother, and wraps him in a warm hug.

"I will be okay, don't worry about me gege. I have you afterall."

Luhan doesn't need to say anything, because the way he wraps his arms around his younger brother is enough of an answer to Tao's request.

--

"You alright?"

Kris stands beside Tao at the doorway to the kitchen and asks him softly.

"...Why won't I be?"

Both of their gazes land on the couple by the sink, the taller standing behind the smaller, wrapping his arms around him, both of them washing the dishes together, happiness emitting from bother of them.

"Because your ex-crush and your brother are together? Don't you feel jealous?"

Kris doesn't answer until they have returned to the couch.

"Lu-ge is happy, that's all that matters."

Tao replies firmly, and Kris just hums skeptically.

"Besides, Sehun's only an ex-crush, I have a new one now."

"Oh? Who is it?"

Kris asks offhandedly, before noticing the gaping mouth and widened eyes of Tao, as if he couldn't believe he just said it out loud.

"I-it doesn't matter. It's not like I'll tell you anyway."

Tao stammers and looks at everywhere but Kris, whose face now has a smirk on it.

"Really Taozi? I have a feeling I know who it is already though?"

Kris leans in real close to Tao's ear and whispers, enjoying the slowly increasing redness of Tao's face.

"Not so close you ."

Kris yells in pain as Luhan emerges with Sehun and smacks his head away from Tao, hard.

"And the nickname 'Taozi' can only be used by me. Go create another for your love-of-your-life."

Now, both Kris and Tao's eyes widen in shock.

Luhan sees the look on both of their faces and gives a short laugh, with Sehun trying to stifle his snort by his side.

"Sehunnie and I are going out now, so have some quality time together! But not too intimate! I'll end you Kris."

Smiling while saying the threat, Luhan disappers through the door with Sehun, leaving a now awkward duo in the living room.

"So..."

"Yea..."

The living room descendes into silence again.

--

"Did you see the look on their faces?"

Luhan chortles and squeezes Sehun's hand, enjoying the light breeze along with Sehun's light laugh.

"Yeap! It's priceless."

They stop at the bench in the nearby park and sits on it, Luhan's hand still in Sehun's.

They fall into a comfortable silence, and Luhan closes his eyes and hums a song, unaware of the unbreaking gaze Sehun has on him.

"I'm glad I have you now Lu-hyung."

Sehun comments softly, before pulls Luhan into a hug, relishing the warmth the elder is emitting.

Instinctively, Luhan wraps his arms around Sehun's torso, inhaling the milky scent Sehun always seem to have.

"Me too."

Luhan nuzzles into Sehun's chest, feeling satisfied with how perfectly he seems to fit with Sehun.

Luhan has sacrificed many things in life, and he doesn't mind, really, if it's for Tao.

But he's just really, really glad that this time, he doesn't have to sacrifice his love, his Sehun.

 

 

 

---

And there you have it!

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