Sehun's POV

I didn't know what possessed me to change my mind. I had made up my mind just last week to completely ignore her. What was it about her that I just could not resist? Not seeing her for one whole week probably made the desire to get close to her again all the more stronger. The moment I saw her in the store just minutes ago, I guess I unknowingly already turned my back on my own plan. Being so physically close to her could really test my patience. I wonder how long I can control myself before I finally man up and kiss her. This thought crossed my mind every single day since I found out she's back here. And although I would like it very much if I could just tell her how much I missed her and that I really needed her, I knew I had to keep it to myself. There were a lot of things she still didn't know, and I'm not sure if I should tell her. It could possibly mean me losing her, but hopefully not.

For now, I was content just by letting her grab my arm and guiding me towards her house. I remembered this place. I guess she still hadn't moved. What if she asks me why I never bothered looking for her? Should I just tell her the truth or should I spare her? I shake the thought off. That was a problem for later. All I could think of now was the fact that her hands felt so smooth on mine. She wasn't gripping to me too tightly, and I was reminded of what a gentle person she was. Sure, she had her tomboy-ish side sometimes, but she was always gentle. I liked that about her. I started recalling everything I remembered about her. Like how she hated to show people that she cared, and she would either conceal her feelings or... well, that was it. She was really good at acting like she didn't care- and that was one of the things I hated most about her. You never know how she truly feels because she wasn't the type to tell you anything. It because if she happened to be sad and you really cared about her, you'd naturally ask her what's wrong out of genuine concern, but she'd just stare at you for a few seconds and change the topic. But what right did I have to judge her right? It had been a long few years, people can change.

As we turned the corner, I looked at my watch. It would be around 5 more minutes before we would reach the house. It still amazed me how much I remember after all this time. I wanted so much to talk to her and get rid of this awkward silence. It felt so different from when we were staring into each other's eyes that first day she went to school.

"Come on, get in here," she said, sounding a little unsure of herself. I did as she asked and let myself into the house. I looked around.

It hasn't changed at all. I could still remember the living room- it was where we used to play video games and made a lot of ruckus until the neighbours complained about us being too loud. I shifted my gaze to the small pond right by the dining room. The only thing different about it was that it used to have these small little fishes inside it as well as a mini waterfall. Now it was just sitting still, without motion. I remembered playing there, too, and always managing to get pushed into it by her. She'd always laugh about it but afterwards ended up getting scolded by her parents for it. That didn't stop her from doing it again and again, though. I glanced up the stairs. First door on the right. That was her bedroom. We used to always play Monopoly or other board games inside there. Sometimes I'd let her play with my hair. She liked to clip it all together and make me look like a girl.

"What are you smiling about?" Jiho asked, staring at me while tossing her keys on the dining table.

I got too absorbed that I didn't even realise a smile was tugging at the corner of my lips. I quickly adjusted back to acting cold and shook my head. She rolled her eyes and gestured towards the sofa, asking me to take a seat while she went to look for her first-aid kit. I sat on the sofa quite awkwardly, not knowing what I should do or how I should react later on. Not knowing where else to look, my eyes shifted towards the walls. There were pictures of her and her parents. I got up to take a closer look. Some of the pictures were those which I helped them to take. They had asked me to join in and be part of it but I would always refuse.

"Stop snooping around and get back here." Turning around, I saw Jiho on the couch, getting out the relevant materials.

"I wasn't," I said as I made my way back to the couch.

Jiho jerked her head up and arched a brow. "So you're talking to me now?" she asked, and I could hear from the tone of her voice that she was a little skeptical.

As much as I would love to keep this distant act up, I knew I couldn't. "What? So now I'm not allowed to talk, is that it?" You should've just shut up, Sehun. 

I heard her scoff. "Yeah, you should shut up." Wait, was she serious? She sounded so. I was about to argue when she started dabbing my mouth with a cotton ball. Oh, that's why she wanted me to shut up. I looked at her. She had a smug look on her face. Did she know what I was thinking about? I just frowned and let her do what she was doing. I didn't know a single thing about first-aid anyway, might as well trust her.

She just finished addressing my cut when I heard rain pouring. We both looked outside. It was a huge downpour. Great. That would just give me more excuse to stay here a little longer and I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"Do you want an umbrella or do you wanna wait till the rain subsides?" she asked, packing the kit. She wasn't looking at me. Oh god. This animosity was killing me, but I only had myself to blame. I caused it. All the more reason that I should maybe fix it?

I started to help her pack up. "What now? You're not scared I might get a cold because of the rain?" I guess she could sense the humor in my voice because she smiled a little. I was about to some more when I noticed that her left forearm was bandaged up. I furrowed my brows. How did I not notice that before? I grabbed her left wrist, making sure not to hold her too tight lest she felt painful. "What happened?"

At that instant, her smile faded and she immediately got up from the couch, saying she was going to put the medical kit back. Why was she avoiding it? I sighed and rested my head against my hands. Just then, I saw something shiny from below the coffee table. I grabbed it in disbelief. Was that what she was doing? Was that why she was missing from school for a whole week? And all because of me?

Jiho's POV

I didn't count on him noticing the bandages around my arm because he was never one to be observant. I thought I had gotten away with it when I finished helping him with his cut. Who knew he'd notice at the last minute. Now here I was, standing in the storage cupboard, wondering what I should tell him. Maybe I should just come up with a reasonable excuse. But what? Or maybe just lie to him. I sighed. I was incapable of lying. Sehun of all people would know if I did lie. I wouldn't be able to get past him. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. Yep, sounds like a plan. With that, I started walking back out towards the living room.

When I entered, I was shocked. How did he find that? He must've heard me coming, because he was already up and staring at me, the penknife in his hand. I looked into his eyes. I didn't know what exactly he was feeling. He looked angry, hurt and frustrated at the same time. What I knew was that he was definitely confused. Now I definitely knew that he wouldn't let me off or go away until I told him something satisfying, which was the truth. The whole honest truth.

"Why?" he shouted, making me jump. He was walking towards me, now looking just plainly mad at me. I wanted to run, but my feet wouldn't listen. He came towards me until I was pushed against the wall. This situation felt too familiar- except that this time, we were actually talking. "Why do this to yourself?"

I opened my mouth, but no words would come out. I didn't know where to start. Everything happened too suddenly. How would I even know if he would leave me hanging again? How would I know that telling him was the right choice?

"Was it because of what I said?" he shouted again. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was just staring at the ground, wondering what I should do. "Look at me, damn it!" I didn't.

He turned around and punched the other wall. I could hear him sobbing. Now it was my turn to talk, I knew it. I was starting to well up myself when I remembered the reasons that made me cut myself. I couldn't handle it at that point of time. Slowly, I walked towards him. He had his right arm propped against the wall, supporting himself, and was using his left hand to wipe his tears. When I was close enough, I hugged him from behind.

"Yeah, part of it was," I admitted to him. "I was hurt because of your words." I could feel him calming down, but he was still confused, I could sense it. To release him from the confusion, I decided to just tell him. "My appa passed away last Tuesday."

I didn't realise that saying it out would feel this horrible. That did it for me. I couldn't hold it in. The tears started streaming down my face, and they wouldn't stop no matter how much I begged them to. I let go of him and fell to the ground, cursing myself for bawling in front of him. Who knew if he even cared? Who knew if he even remembered what appa was like? I didn't know why, but I just kept making stupid reasons up just to make myself think that Sehun was a bad guy. I was doing that because I was self-destructing, I know that.

Why make him a bad guy? Because I still couldn't forgive him for saying what he said to me last week at the carpark. Especially since people around us heard it clearly. But what he did next, I didn't expect him to. And maybe, in my whole life, that was the easiest forgiveness I've ever given.